Chapter 38 Honor
Honor
Girlfriends are everything. They understand instinctively when you need a hug, or a distraction, or silence, or words.
They rally around without needing to be asked.
And that’s what my friends do for me after my eulogy.
They show up in a stylish swarm and spirit me away to an empty table in a quiet corner of the room, while Ted comforts Ally and Jackson does the duty circuit, charming the pants off everyone.
I just hope he stays the hell away from Noah.
Stacey has swiped two bottles of champagne from the bar, and Evelyn sets to work filling everyone up. Astrid has brought Ellery over, too: she’s the dearest girl, and Astrid and I have been acting as honorary aunts to her for the past five years, since her breakout success in the movie industry.
‘Jeez, Honor, that was so freaking beautiful,’ Stacey says. ‘You have such a way with words, girl.’
‘Amen to that.’ Astrid lifts her glass.
‘Would you ever consider going back to TV?’ Ellery asks. ‘Honestly, you’re so impressive. Sunrise must rue the day they let you walk.’
I shake my head. ‘Definitely not. In fact, I have some big changes I want to make in my life, and I thank Mum for that. Starting with the fame thing. I want to reduce my level of exposure to the press. Evelyn, you’ve done an amazing job of that.
Your profile as a businesswoman is higher than ever, but you seem to live below the radar in your private life, and I want to know your secret. ’
Evelyn grins. ‘You may want to consider swapping your famous husband out for a handsome but totally unknown farmer, in that case. It’s worked very well for me.’
I smile my secret smile. She has no idea how close she is to the truth, but now’s not the time to share that confidence. Not quite yet.
‘Ellery, she won’t be asking you for any advice on avoiding the tabloids.’ Astrid elbows her good-naturedly. ‘You are all over the bloody papers at the moment, my dear.’
Ellery groans and dips her head dramatically. ‘Tell me about it. And for all the wrong reasons.’
‘Seriously?’ I ask. ‘What’s up?’
‘Have you been living under a rock?’ Astrid asks.
‘Astrid! She’s been burying her freaking mother! Give her a break!’ Stacey mock-glares at Astrid, who turns bright red.
‘I’m so sorry. Of course you have. I’ll let you off.’
‘Give me the gossip, Elle,’ I urge Ellery. ‘Please.’
‘It’s bad.’ Ellery shakes her head. She’s absolutely gorgeous, with skin no amount of retinol will ever procure for me at this age. Blonde and petite and a huge blunt fringe—she’s a knockout.
‘Please.’ I hold my glass out to Stacey for a refill. ‘You have to. My mum just died. I need to be distracted, or at least to enjoy someone else’s misfortune.’
Ellery sighs. ‘Champagne and schadenfreude are your bag right now. I get it.’
‘Champagne and schadenfreude!’ Stacey cries. ‘Please! I have to have that on a t-shirt!’
We all scream with laughter, and my peripheral vision catches a few quizzical looks from Mum’s generation.
‘Whoops. Maybe we’re being a little raucous for a funeral,’ Evelyn stage-whispers.
‘It’s like the funeral scene in Ted Lasso, when Rebecca and Keeley and Sassy all get bollocked by the vicar for screeching too loudly.’
‘Bags be Sassy!’ Stacey puts her hand up, and we all look at her.
‘Yep, no one’s going to argue with that,’ Astrid mumbles, and I snigger.
‘Yesss. That means I get Ted.’ She punches the air.
‘They can all sod off,’ I say. ‘This is a hotel, not a church. Anyway, Ellery, you were going to distract me with your torrid tabloid gossip?’
‘Ugh. It’s so bad.’ She sighs. ‘Okay. Remember Josh Lander?’
‘Yikes.’ I draw in my breath. Josh and Ellery’s history is the stuff of celebrity nightmare.
Literally, it’s any actor’s worst dream.
I’ve never stopped being angry at him for what he did to our sweet, beautiful Ellery.
I feel sick for her for a moment. ‘How could they possibly have anything to say about you two after all these years?’
Ellery had a brief and very intense whirlwind romance with Josh Lander, douchebag from hell, about five years ago.
He swept her off her feet at the Cannes Film Festival when she was an ingenue and he was one of the hottest movie stars on the planet.
They dated for a few months, with some very public displays of affection and commitment along the way, and she ended up at his family home for the Fourth of July weekend with several of their (his) friends.
I’ll never forget the photos. They were all over every news outlet on the planet. A few guys (his douchebag frat-boy buddies) and Elle all wearing I JL t-shirts. Twitter went mental, and a few days after she got back to the UK he dumped her. Via his agent. And she never heard from him again.
She was a mess. I remember Astrid and I seeing her at an industry event a few months later and she was still distraught.
He broke her. Until she won a fucking Oscar the following February, pulled her amazing, Cambridge-educated self back together and got back out there.
Meanwhile, her star has soared higher and higher, and last I heard, his first post-rehab movie bombed. Now that’s what I call karma.
‘Well,’ she says now. ‘You may well ask that, and the answer is, we’ve both been cast to do Grosvenor. Together.’
‘You are kidding me.’ Grosvenor is a massive new production from the streaming platform Azure, set to jump on the Bridgerton bandwagon and take a slice of Netflix’s share. My mind reels. Oh, dear Lord. ‘As… I can’t even say it. As love interests?’
‘You’ve got it.’ Her gorgeous little face says it all.
‘Sweetheart.’ All my own problems are forgotten in the face of this horror. ‘How the hell did this happen? What the fuck was your agent thinking?’
‘It was a bit of a bait and switch, I suspect. We didn’t know they were thinking of him, but they said they’d written the role of Georgiana especially for me.
And when I read the script of the pilot, I loved it.
Like, loved it. I knew I had to play her.
And it wasn’t until I was properly besotted with the role that they announced they’d lined He Who Shall Not Be Named up to play the Duke. ’
‘Ugh! The Duke? And you really want to go ahead with this? Did they not even ask for a chemistry read?’
‘No one who saw those two together five years ago would need a chemistry read.’ Astrid nods sagely. ‘Just saying.’
She’s right, of course. The sparks between the two of them were electric. The world fell in love with them, and the world got its heart broken with Elle.
Ellery grimaces, like it’s excruciating for her to think about it.
‘The thing is, I know this series is the right next step for me. I mean, Jackson’s doing the same thing, right?
Making the jump from movies into TV? And this role is my dream role, I’m telling you.
Except for, maybe, the many parts where I need to get pretend-naked and pretend-intimate with the person I hate most in the world. Oh, God!’
I bristle. ‘Jesus, Elle. I hope they’re offering you a good intimacy coordinator—’
‘Relax, Hon. Believe me, everything’s being negotiated to the nth degree, and everything will be fully choreographed.’
‘Glad to hear it. Also, remember this, my friend. When you met, he had all the power. Now the world is your oyster, while he’s been festering in rehab hell and is making dire movies.
He needs this a lot more than you. Which means you.
Have. All. The. Power.’ I jab her with my finger to make my point.
She shifts uncomfortably. She’s always been self-deprecating. ‘You’re right, I suppose. But I’m still dreading it!’
‘Because you hate him and you’re worried you’ll gouge his eyes out when they allow you close to him?’ I ask hopefully.
‘No.’ Her voice drops to a whisper. ‘Because this is my chance to show him what a huge mistake he made all those years ago, and to make him regret ruining my life in front of the whole world. But what if I fall for him again?’
‘You won’t.’ I’m horrified. ‘You couldn’t—your sense of self-preservation won’t let you.’
‘I hope not. I just remember how… magnetic he is. He’s very, very hard to resist.’ She twists her beautiful mouth. ‘You’re right. I won’t. This is about closure, pure and simple. He’ll regret the day he ever dumped me.’
What I wouldn’t give for her youth and beauty, though I don’t envy Ellery her situation. Maybe I can sneak on set and warn that miserable prick to stay the hell away from her heart. And her knickers.
Ellery’s plight has certainly done wonders for distracting me, but a moment later I’m back in the thick of my own life in the most pleasurable way possible, because Noah puts his hand on my shoulder, and smiles, in his usual, hopelessly gorgeous, panty-melting way at the girls, and asks if he can borrow me.
It’s time to follow Mum’s advice. To choose my happiness. To get my man.