Chapter 6
Theo
Iwish I could say it’s a non-event, meeting Josh Lander, but Jesus.
The guy is a fucking legend. When he’s not being a dick to my cousin, that is. And he seems to have done the work to win her back. So kudos to him.
I swing by Elle’s place on my way to my folks’, to pick up my ‘date’. We agreed it would be less weird to arrive together than to greet each other in front of my nosy family.
Elle answers the door. ‘Nora’ll be down in a sec,’ she says as I kiss her, which doesn’t help, because it’s suddenly like I’m picking up my date for prom and Elle’s her mum.
I shrug and follow her into the living room. ‘Sure.’
‘And this is Josh.’
Holy fuck. My brothers and I run in some pretty elite circles—I’ve had beers with Prince Harry in the back rooms of various pubs in South Ken in my past—but it’s always confronting to see someone super famous in the flesh.
And boy, does Josh Lander in the flesh pack a punch.
Especially in an open-necked shirt and a fucking nice blazer.
We lean in to shake each other’s hand.
‘How you doing, mate?’ I ask.
He pumps my hand, hard, and flashes me that famous grin.
My poor little cousin didn’t stand a chance around this guy.
Although he’s as lucky to get her as she is to have found him.
When we were at uni, I had to beat my mates off her with a stick.
Luckily, she found a boyfriend pretty quickly, so I didn’t have to worry too much when I graduated and left her to it for another two years.
‘It’s awesome to meet you, bro.’ He winks. ‘I’m pumped Nora’s found herself a nice guy.’
So he and Elle know. Okay then.
‘Keep it to yourselves, all right?’
They exchange glances.
‘Seriously. You two are supposed to be actors. I’m assuming you can handle a bit of family subterfuge.’
Josh hits me on the arm. ‘Our lips are sealed.’
‘Just take it easy with her.’ Elle narrows her eyes, assessing me. ‘She’s had a shit time of it with Jonathan, okay? Don’t fuck her up.’
That hurts. I hold up my hands. ‘I have zero intention of fucking her up. She’s a nice girl.’
‘Damn right she is. Too nice for you. So don’t go accidentally shagging her or anything like that. Boundaries, Theo.’
Jesus Christ.
‘I have no intention of shagging her, accidentally or deliberately. All right? She’s not my type.’ She’s not. I like girls who don’t need me to convince them to have fun. Not like Little Miss Sensible. But then, that’s precisely why she’s the perfect fake girlfriend.
Josh snorts. ‘I heard about the on-screen threesome, man.’ He shakes his head. ‘Nice work.’
I roll my shoulders and stick my hands in my pockets, suddenly uncomfortable. That bloody thing is going to follow me to my grave; I can tell. ‘Not my finest hour,’ I tell Josh.
‘The ones they get on camera never are.’ He nods sagely. ‘No worries, bro. They’ll get over it. If anyone can help you rehabilitate your reputation, it’s Nor. Stick with her and you’ll be fine.’
That’s really an excellent point. I’ve been hoping Nora will warm my parents and my brother to me, but I hadn’t thought about my broader reputation. Maybe a few public outings with her aren’t a bad call. Especially if I can get us both in the society pages.
I’m aware of a scampering sound before Elle’s little dog hurls herself at me, her body twisting and her bum wiggling in utter delight. I’ve only met her once or twice, but I bet she’s like this with everyone. I bend and scoop her up.
‘Hey there, little buddy.’
I let her lick my face, but when she goes for a full-on snog, I hold her away from me. ‘No, thank you.’
‘Hi, Romeo.’
I turn. Nora’s framed in the doorway. Sweet Jesus.
She looks bloody gorgeous. She has a sleek cream dress on with some kind of leafy print, and her hair falls softly around her bare shoulders.
She’s done something different with it—she’s really pushed the boat out for this lunch, and that hits me in the chest in a weird way.
It makes me want to do a good job for her, if she’s taking today this seriously on my behalf.
After all, Jonathan’s not here. Today’s ruse is for me, not her.
And right now, she looks like any mother’s dream date for her wayward son.
I’ll have to keep track. Make sure I hold up my end of the bargain.
I try not to focus on how the dress skims her body perfectly. She shifts against the door frame in a way that tells me she’s nervous. Or awkward, at least.
‘Hi, Belle.’ I cross the room, and she tilts her face up so I can kiss her on both cheeks. When I’m done, I smile down at her. ‘You look very lovely, Fake Girlfriend. My parents will eat you up. You sure you’re ready to do this?’
She nods determinedly. ‘Let’s get it over with.’
‘Romeo’s your name for him?’ Josh asks from across the room.
‘His surname’s Montague,’ Elle explains.
‘Ah. Got it. So it’s nothing to do with your reputation?’
‘It’s a fitting nickname. Believe me.’ Nora’s tone is as flinty as her face.
We agree that Josh and Elle will take Josh’s car so they don’t get papped, and Nora and I will walk the short distance to my folks’ place with Olive. It’ll give us time to get our story straight.
‘So we got together at the engagement party?’ she asks as we stroll.
It’s a gorgeous, leafy May day. There’s no better time to be in London.
The magnolia and cherry blossom have gone, but the wisteria is out in full force.
Heaven. Just walking through the pretty streets of Notting Hill makes me feel able to drop my shoulders.
My family’s disapproval of me is suspended momentarily, though it’ll be clear as day once we rock up at my parents’.
‘Yeah. Let’s say I asked you out then, and we went for dinner this week. That work for you?’
‘Okay. Where did you take me?’
‘I dunno. Where would you like me to have taken you?’
She considers. ‘Daphne’s?’
Daphne’s is a fantastic Italian in South Ken that’s been around for donkey’s years.
‘Perfect. Classy chick. And I owe you dinner at Daphne’s, at some point.’ I bump her on the shoulder and she rewards me with a small grin.
‘Damn right you do. So is today about warming your family up on the Manhattan position? Is there anything you want me to drop into the conversation?’
‘Nah. My parents won’t talk business over Sunday lunch.
They’re too polite for that. They’ll want to focus on the wedding, which my mum is ridiculously excited about, and on their grandkids, and on Elle and Josh, obviously.
Normally, at a lunch like this, I could get away with being completely ignored, but given I’m turning up with a very pretty, very sensible, appropriate date, they’ll be all over you.
And Mum will want to hear all about the wedding plans. ’
‘So I’ll need to work hard charming them, and you’ll just sit beside me and quietly get drunk?’
I flash her a huge grin. ‘Got it in one.’
The champagne is flowing in my parents’ garden, and everyone’s tucking in except for Josh, who’s a recovering alcoholic, and my sister-in-law, Margot. I imagine doing the bedtime routine with twin babies isn’t much fun if you’ve been drinking all day.
I told Mum I was bringing a date, but when she gets a load of Nora, the woman practically has an orgasm. She was probably expecting a gold-digger with fake lips and arse-length hair. Not that that’s my type, but I’m still digging my reputation of out a Trixie-and-Dixie-sized hole.
Anyway, Mum’s all over Nora like a rash, and when she looks at me, it’s with wide eyes and lips pressed tightly together like she’s about to explode with gushiness.
I take Nora in from Mum’s perspective. She’s beautiful.
There’s no doubt about that. But, though I can tell she’s made a real effort today, she still looks wholesome.
Radiant. Her Disney princess eyes are massive and clear, her skin is glowing and her glossy brown hair is like a siren’s call to wrap it around my hand and pull her head back (I resist). Plus, she smells fucking amazing.
So, it’s no hardship at all to play the part of the new and captivated boyfriend.
I slide my arm around her narrow waist and lightly pinch the band of her dress.
I squeeze her hand before gently running my fingertips up the soft skin on the inside of her arm.
And when I leave her side for a second to grab her a refill, I step back into my spot and drop a kiss on her bare shoulder.
Nora’s taking my attentions in her stride.
I’m definitely the one doing most of the touchy-feely stuff, but if she’s repulsed by me, she does a good job of not showing it.
It occurs to me that she’s treating me like an affectionate but slightly too needy puppy—she’s not giving me the brush-off, but she’s not encouraging me, either.
I’m a bit of a spare part in this conversation, because Nora, Saoirse and Mum are discussing the wedding plans so far, and I have nothing to add.
Obviously. I knew Saoirse was working for Siobhan Quinn, a high-end event planner who does very well for herself and is an old friend of my brother’s, but I hadn’t clicked that Siobhan’s company would be involved with the wedding, too.
‘So, how do you envisage it all working?’ Mum asks. She seems anxious about too many cooks in the kitchen. ‘Will you be able to split up the work between both parties, Nora?’
Nora exchanges glances with Saoirse, who gives her a grin and a nod.
‘It actually helps me, Laura,’ Nora says.
‘I often work with event planners, and Siobhan’s the best in the business.
My area of oversight is the logistics, mainly.
Bookings. Procurement. Budgeting. Those are my strengths—I need to make sure all the wedding-related events run like a Swiss watch.
And I’ll help Miles and Saoirse execute a high-level vision for the event, too.
But Siobhan and Saoirse’s team will be far more concerned with executing the aesthetic vision, and they’ll handle that right down to micro-level sourcing.