CHAPTER SIXTEEN
T he pristine white sand beaches of Gulf Shores were a sight to behold. I recalled a trip to the Caribbean as a child, and the crystal clear waters of Jamaica were the only other body of water I could relate them to. Alabama had its very own Caribbean Sea, less than thirty minutes from my hometown, and for me it was the perfect escape. I wasn’t one to spend my days lounging on the beach and soaking up the sun, but I found the gentle sound of the waves crashing against the shore soothing. Normally, a trip to Gulf Shores involved at least one water sport, kayaking or paddleboarding often the choice, but my mind was too occupied with thoughts of Amelia.
I stepped onto the soft warm sand, flip-flops in hand. The grains seeped between my toes. The gentle sea breeze brushed against my face. I pulled the peak of my cap further down my head to stop the sun’s glare. I’d chosen my light blue Stetson vintage trucker cap that morning, and it wasn’t a subconscious decision. It didn’t go with my outfit, but the last person to wear it was the one person I couldn’t shake.
I pictured Amelia hovering over the barbecue just a few nights earlier, the cap casually placed on her head as the rest of her curls fell around her shoulders; it suited her, I thought. She had the most gorgeous head of hair that no cap should ever cover, but when it did, it suited her, like most things.
The morning had been slow. I woke up at seven, completed most of my mundane tasks by eight-thirty, and found myself concerned with the lack of plans ahead. I made a snap decision to pack a bag and head for the beach. I watched the waves roll in and out. My ruby red striped beach towel was doing a terrible job of being my barrier from the sand below. You could say I found solace in the ocean. The vastness of the sea reminded me how lucky I was to experience life and pain for that matter. Many people were not so lucky.
I considered renting a paddleboard and venturing out on the water; the sun glistening off the surface made it look appealing. The physical activity would help clear my mind, but before I knew it, an hour passed and my mind was still wandering, searching for her figure, hoping she would somehow appear at the water’s edge.
Cindy called my mom, and she called me with the news that Amelia had checked out that morning. My throat tightened as the words registered. The shot of Amelia in my rearview mirror played in my mind over and over, stuck on loop. I’d arrived home from work yesterday to a homemade strawberry cobbler on my porch. The card read: Forgive me. I selfishly wanted her to be sat waiting for me, but she wasn’t.
I reached for my phone, using my hand to guard the screen from the sun. I checked the flights out of BTR Airport, one left forty minutes ago, another would leave in three hours’ time. I could’ve delved a little deeper, used the perks of being a police officer to obtain information regarding the passengers on the flight, but I refused. It took every ounce of strength to put my phone on do not disturb. I needed the time to heal. I needed to fully embrace my position at the beach, to understand and accept that Amelia was leaving.
Initially, I saw the strawberry cobbler as a peace offering; a reminder of the first time I ever saw Amelia laugh. Her playful nature was one of the most endearing qualities about her. I figured she’d attempt a conversation eventually, but the news of her checking out made me think the note was more of a goodbye and less of an apology.
I never expected that night in Cooper’s parking lot to be the last time I ever saw her. If Amelia wanted to return to Austin, I was right about one thing, she didn’t feel the way I felt about her. That realisation caused a sinking feeling in my stomach.
I felt numb.
A dinner party wouldn’t be complete without Katherine ordering me to safeguard her from our overbearing extended family and me ignoring her completely in order to watch her squirm. A distant cousin, his obsession with magpies and relics from early Buddhism, caused Katherine to sign some pretty offensive hand gestures in my direction.
I resumed my role as Auntie Riley the moment my niece saw me, and honestly it was a welcome distraction. I considered staying at the beach and avoiding social interaction, but the disappointed three-hour lecture that would follow from my parents wasn’t worth it. Maybe it was a southern thing, but my mom had always been adamant that we portray a solid family front, even if that were not the case behind the scenes .
Katherine got away with a floating jersey dress, being heavily pregnant had its perks. I opted for the khaki linen two-piece I purchased the summer before. The last time it made an appearance I received numerous compliments on the fit, so I figured my mother would approve, but it was itchy—annoyingly so.
The guests were awkward. It was nothing new. They were airing on the side of caution, as my dad used to say. All aside from family felt obliged to make an appearance, but spending the evening with the majority of the sheriff’s department was always a tentative affair. I tried to separate myself from on duty Lieutenant Wilson to plain-clothed Riley, but the town’s residents made that difficult. The conversations rarely saw below surface level.
In all honesty, my job was to uphold the law, but I couldn’t care less if Betty down the street accidentally stole a carton of milk from the grocery store because she only scanned one instead of two. I wasn’t about to drag her down to the station and interrogate her under a spotlight.
The weather was perfect, as always. I swore my mom had some sort of deal with mother nature. I couldn’t recall a single garden party where the weather was off. The temperature was warm but not scorching, a gentle breeze cooled guests from the east. Humidity was moderate, zero chance of rain, only the occasional fluffy white cloud brought a moment’s relief from the sun. I don’t know how she did it.
The charismatic bartender was dubbed the most creative within a hundred-mile radius of Alabama—I wasn’t sure how that was decided, maybe there was a secret bartender awards I wasn’t aware of, but according to my mom’s best friend he was the only choice for someone innovative and engaging. I asked for something strong, and he crafted me a classic old fashioned with a twist. The intense richness of the cocktail took the edge off.
Katherine floated over in the perfectly pregnant way she did.
“Hey,” I greeted.
“I love this colour on you,” Katherine complimented. The two-piece was a hit.
“Thank you.”
She placed her arm around my back, hooking her fingers through the belt loop in the annoying way she had since we were kids; it was a comfort thing. We observed the party from our spot beside the bar.
“Will Amelia be joining us?” Katherine asked.
“I know mom told you,” I said.
“Told me what?”
“Amelia left town,” I admitted.
“Are you sure?” Katherine probed.
“Well, I didn’t escort her to her seat on the plane but I’m pretty positive.”
“Oh,” Katherine whispered. “She seemed to really like you.”
“I really like those fancy little homemade banana puddings at the dessert table, but I’m not going to eat the whole tray.”
“Are you comparing yourself to a banana pudding?” Katherine laughed.
“You get the point.”
“I think you should have more faith in yourself and what you can offer another human. You’re a Wilson. We’re irresistible.” Katherine tugged at my trousers, playfully.
“I don’t have the best track record, Kat. ”
“Neither do I! Well, the past four years and two kids aside. I couldn’t hold a boyfriend down before that, but it all worked out in the end. Ley, you’re gorgeous, you have a great job, you have a great family, you’re down to earth, kind, even a little bit funny at times. Who wouldn’t want to be with you?”
“Amelia, clearly,” I scoffed.
“Circumstance doesn’t always allow two people to be together, but it isn’t a reflection on you.”
“I know,” I said, sincerely.
I missed Amelia.
Katherine’s eyes widened at something in the distance.
“Like I said, who wouldn’t want to be with you?” She smirked and nodded towards the side of the house.
Out stepped Amelia Baker. The group of guests congregating by one of the many food stations seemed to part for her to slip through the middle of the crowd. She walked towards me with purpose, and it reminded me of the first time I saw her, which felt like a lifetime ago.
It felt like the whole scene played out in slow motion. Katherine subtly scuttled off to the left. My mom did a complete U-turn and headed back towards the dock. I clumsily pushed my sunglasses atop my head to get a clearer view.
I blinked twice. Nope, she was still there.
She stopped directly in front of me, staring deep into my eyes, but not saying a word. My breath caught in my throat. I couldn’t make sense of the situation, but I felt a surge of warmth spread through my body in her presence.
She didn’t leave.
I spent the whole day convincing myself she’d left town never to return. I was convinced she was sat with Mason on a private jet, preparing her womb for the three male offspring she would produce, all with swept-up hair styles and Rolex watches.
But she wasn’t. She was here.
“I thought—” I began.
Amelia took my hand in hers.
“I thought you’d left,” I said.
“Without you?” Her voice was soft, trembling with emotion. She shook her head. “No, I would find that impossible,” she whispered.
Her words washed over me. Impossible.
“Cindy said you checked out?” I said, confused.
“I did, so I could stay at the house. It’s almost done, but—” Amelia paused.
“But, what?” I asked.
In a rush of words that tumbled out, her honesty shocked me.
“It feels empty without you,” Amelia confessed. “I know the other night confused you, quite frankly, it confused me too. I didn’t expect my mom to ambush me like that. I certainly didn’t expect her to stoop as low as to bring Mason on board. My mom is a lot of things, but she continues to surprise me. I just need you to know I had nothing to do with it. The only reason me and Mason were having dinner was because her plan failed miserably. It wasn’t what it looked like, and I was going to tell you.”
“When?”
“Right after dinner. The whole time I sat there listening to my mom’s outrageous plans, followed by Mason’s poor performance, I was thinking about you. I was counting down the seconds until I could drive to your house, kiss your lips, and tell you all about my crazy night in the hopes you would understand why I didn’t tell you sooner,” she said sincerely.
“Why didn’t you?”
“It didn’t seem appropriate at first, but the more time passed the harder it was to find an opening, ‘Oh by the way I have an ex-fiancé and my mom is desperate for us to get back together for her own selfish reasons, so she might fly him here to try and win me back’. There just wasn’t a good time.”
There’s always time if you make time.
“Do you still have feelings for him?” I asked.
“No.” Amelia didn’t answer with confidence.
“Why don’t I believe you?”
“If you’re asking me if I’m still in love with him, it’s a no. I stopped being in love with him a long time ago. If you’re asking, do I still care for him? Then yes, I do, reluctantly. I spent ten years of my life with him, and although he isn’t right for me, I still care for his well-being. I miss the person he used to be, and I think that takes some time to disappear,” she admitted. I admired her honesty.
“I don’t know if I can trust you, Amelia.”
“Riley, you can,” she whispered.
“I want to, but I’m fighting against every instinct I have right now telling me to run in the opposite direction.”
Don’t let your past determine your future. That was easier said than done. I had succumbed to a life of meaningless pleasure, of brief encounters, fleeting company, and I had grown fond of that life in a way. Only since Amelia’s arrival had I considered the possibility of a life fulfilled with a companion. Could that be Amelia? Or was it too late ?
“Just give me a chance to prove to you that you can trust me,” she pleaded.
Tears welled in her eyes.
How could I wholeheartedly trust someone I’d only known for a month? It was a risk.
“I need a minute.” I let Amelia’s hand fall and made my way towards the water’s edge.
Growing up with a river behind our house brought me years of joy. Playing in the shallow waters, searching for crayfish among the rocks, or skipping stones across the surface. My parents watched on as we created amazing memories in nature’s playground. As I advanced into adulthood my relationship with the Magnolia River evolved. The playing turned into appreciation as I found solace in the peacefulness and beauty of the water. The water that once brought me so much joy, now had the power to calm me.
I stood amongst the trees on the riverbank as I had numerous times in years gone by. The sense of nostalgia washed over me as I remembered simpler times. As a child, I was faced with painless decisions like what time to head in for dinner or which friends to invite over. Now I found myself searching for answers that the water couldn’t give.
Do I trust Amelia? Is she genuine?
Will I get hurt? That one was almost impossible to answer.
I’d spent enough time with her to know she was a kind person. That had to count for something.
The air was filled with the earthy scent of the river’s water. I inhaled deeply, and each breath brought a sense of relief.
Please give me some clarity .
I gazed out at the expanse of river. The rhythmic ebb and flow of the water soothed me. The noise of the party behind me echoed across the water in the form of laughter.
I felt Amelia’s hand touch the back of my arm gently. We stood in comfortable silence for a moment.
“You know, when we delved deeper into Caroline and Frances’s relationship, the more we uncovered, the more jealous I became of their story. It was an epic love story. I was terrified because I thought that kind of love was a fairy tale, it happened only to the most fortunate, and everyone else had to settle for a mediocre kind of love,” Amelia began, her voice contemplative.
“It wasn’t until yesterday when I read one of the last letters Frances sent to Caroline that I saw the similarities. The way Frances spoke about Caroline and her unwavering support, her understanding, the deep empathy, the way Caroline made Frances feel, so heard and valued. Caroline was a safe space for Frances. She was the stability and the reliability in Frances’s life. Caroline’s honesty and willingness to communicate openly and build this strong foundation through decades of love and trust was truly remarkable, and I couldn’t help but see the similarities in you.” Amelia looked at me.
“I guess what I’m trying to say is... I didn’t think I would be lucky enough to find that kind of love, until I met you,” she admitted, her voice soft.
“Amelia,” I started.
Trust her!
The voice echoed in my mind. It sounded like Brittany’s sarcastic tone. I pictured a mini bobblehead version sat on my shoulder observing the whole interaction, and I knew exactly what she’d say .
Stop being a fucking moron.
“I’m in love with you, Riley.”
I took a deep breath, and it felt like a weight was lifted off my shoulders. Those six simple words had the ability to strip away all the doubt and uncertainty in an instant. The idea of opening my heart to Amelia and expressing my deepest feelings was terrifying, but the knowledge that she cared so deeply about me created this truly special empowering sense of security. It was like nothing I’d ever experienced before.
“I’m in love with you too,” I whispered.
Amelia’s eyes brimmed with tears. I reached out a trembling hand, cupping her cheek gently. I leaned in, hovering for a moment. Millimetres separated our lips from meeting one another, but the warmth in my chest was a feeling I might never be able to replicate, so I savoured those seconds. I looked into her eyes. I watched her lips curl into a flirtatious smile, and I buried all my worries.
The kiss lingered. It was delicate and tender, a silent declaration of the admittance of our feelings for each other. The soft touch of her lips sent a shiver down my spine and ignited a desire deep within that I so desperately wanted to explore away from prying eyes. Amelia pressed her body close to mine as we lost ourselves in the moment.
I found it amazing how a single kiss could change a whole perspective. The insecurity and fear I felt evaporated. The walls I tried to erect crumbled, and I was left to accept that the connection we had was going to force me to take the risk regardless of my apprehension.
I had fallen in love with Amelia Baker.
“Does this mean you’re staying in Magnolia?” I smirked.
“There’s nowhere else I’d rather be,” Amelia said.