Chapter 20
CHAPTER TWENTY
Chloe
I sit at my desk and stare out the window at the building next door. I could draw the pattern of bricks in my sleep. There’s nothing unusual about it, but it’s familiar and that’s something that I’ve always needed in my life.
“You’re daydreaming again?” Gabi steps into my office. “This Evan guy must be something else.”
He is.
I haven’t seen him in days but that hasn’t stopped me from thinking about him on an hourly basis.
I used the sparse details I know about him to try and locate him online. I came up empty handed. After I searched for doctors named Evan, I broadened the scope of my mission to uncover his identity.
Combing through the staff directories at a few of the hospitals in the city was futile. It didn’t take me long to realize that I have no idea whether he’s a doctor or not. For all I know he’s an x-ray technician or an orderly.
I don’t care what he does for a living. I doubt that he cares what I do.
“I like him,” I admit when she takes a seat in front of my desk. “We have a lot of fun together.”
She tugs at the bottom of her hair. “Are you dating him or is it more of a casual thing?”
“Is that a diplomatic way of asking if we’re sleeping together?”
She sits up in the chair, crossing her legs at the knee. “You haven’t talked about him a lot and I know from the security guard in the lobby that you’re here past ten on most nights, so I’m assuming that your time with him is limited to time spent in bed.”
“You’d make a great detective.” I laugh as I lean back. “That’s exactly what it is. We meet to hook-up.”
“And you’re fine with that?” Curiosity laces her words.
“That surprises you?” I volley back. “Why does it surprise you?”
She heaves a sigh. “Your track record.”
Those words should sting but they don’t. She doesn’t mean it as an insult. She’s stating the truth. “Sometimes a person needs to try out a new track. I’m doing that with Evan.”
The corners of her mouth rise. “A new track is exciting but sometimes it comes with twists and turns we can’t predict.”
“Isn’t that part of the adventure? You see where it takes you and you can take one of those turns if you want to get off that track and onto a new one.”
“You’ve never had a fuck buddy, Chloe.” She grips the arm of the chair in her hand. “The number one rule is not to invest your heart in that person.”
I scoff at the idea that I’m doing that. “I’m keeping my heart locked up tight. This is fun and that’s all it is.”
She pushes to stand. “Feelings have a way of showing up when you least expect them to. Don’t lose sight of that. The last thing you need is to be hurt again.”
“You know that I love that you look out for me but I’m a big girl and I’m going to enjoy the fun of this while it lasts.”
“I’m always here if you need me. Just remember, that life is unpredictable even if you think you’re on the right track.”
I smile when I see Evan approach me in the café.
After my discussion with Gabi yesterday, I saw Rocco for dinner. I’d bailed on our pizza date so I thought I’d invite him out for a burger to catch up.
I needed the sibling bonding time and when he asked about Evan, I reiterated what I told Gabi but with much less graphic detail.
Rocco understood that it’s casual and he encouraged me to keep doing whatever felt right for me.
Since I value his opinion more than anyone else’s, I went to sleep last night feeling at peace with where my life is headed, both professionally and now, personally.
“Chloe, we need to talk.” Evan stops short of where I’m standing.
I look him over. He’s dressed differently today. He’s wearing dark slacks and a white button down shirt under a dark blue blazer.
It’s still cold outside so I’m surprised that he isn’t wearing his wool coat.
I doubt that he’s here to break up with me since we’re not officially anything but people who meet for a good time.
“What do you want to talk about?” I take a small sip of my tea. “Do you want to grab a coffee first? The line is short right now.”
He looks toward the counter where two baristas are busy stacking cups. “No. I’m not having a coffee.”
The nervous energy that is bouncing off of him is palpable. I feel my stomach flip-flop. “What is it?”
He grabs me by the elbow to lead me over to a vacant table near the door. I don’t have time to sit, but I do because it’s obvious that this discussion isn’t going to be short and sweet.
“I need to ask you something personal.” He rubs his temples with his fingers. “I’m sorry I have to do this, but I haven’t slept all night and I’m not the kind of guy who sees value in beating around the bush.”
I rest my tea on the table when I realize that I’m shaking. “All right. I’ll try and answer.”
He closes his eyes before they pop open and lock with mine. “Are you late?”
I breathe a sigh of relief. “I have another five minutes before I need…”
“No,” he blurts out. “I don’t mean today. Are you late?”
I suck in a deep breath. “Am I late?”
He rests both hands together in the middle of the table. “Chloe, I am asking if you’ve missed your period.”
I hang my head. Why the hell would he ask me that? Why?
“Chloe, I need to know. The condom might have broken that first night. I found out yesterday from the guy I got it from that the package was years old. It might have failed and if you’re late we need to talk about options.”
Options? I wish I had options. I’ve longed for options for years but some of us don’t have the luxury of options.
“I know you must be in shock,” he goes on. “If we have to deal with a pregnancy, I’ll help. I’ll be there to discuss what is best for us both.”
Tears sting the corner of my eyes. I shake my head from side-to-side wishing he would shut up.
“Say something,” he pleads. “You can scream at me all you want but say something. Are you on the pill? Is your period late? Is there any chance that I knocked you up?”
I finally look up and into his face. I see nothing but panic and fear.
“There’s no chance,” I answer softly. “You didn’t knock me up.”
He bends his neck back and audibly sighs. “Thank, Christ. So you’ve had your period since that night?”
I’m not going to lie to him. He didn’t have to tell me that the condom might have broke, yet he did. He deserves the truth from me too. “I haven’t had a period since then.”
He looks right at me. “That was weeks ago. You should have had your period unless you use something other than the pill for birth control.”
“I don’t use birth control.”
His eyes widen. “We need to go get a test done. If you come with me I can have someone draw your blood and we’ll have the results within the hour.”
He’s on his feet before the words leave my mouth. “No one needs to draw blood. I’m not pregnant, Evan.”
“You don’t know that.” He holds out his hand to me. “I know you’re scared but once we have the test results we’ll know whether this is an issue or not.”
“It’s not an issue.” I don’t touch his hand. “Trust me when I say that there is no chance that I’m pregnant.”
“How can you know for sure?”
“I’m infertile,” I say under my breath so the entire café doesn’t know my secret. “You have as much chance of getting pregnant as I do.”