Chapter 36
CHAPTER THIRTY-SIX
Evan
“My mom died two years ago.” Her warm breath traces a path over my neck.
I don’t move because it’s a confession that came out of nowhere. After a quick recharge of juice and a shared apple, we fucked a second time. After that, both spent we fell asleep in each other’s arms.
It’s too late for her to go. I don’t want her to. That’s why I’ve wrapped myself around her. I need her here, with me, while I sort through the fucked up shit that my heart is starting to feel.
“I’m sorry,” I whisper with my lips against her forehead. “Do you want to talk about it?”
She nods. “It was sudden. She was on her way to my apartment when she collapsed.”
Guilt. She may have moved past it by now, but the fact that she added the detail about where her mom was headed when she died, tells me more than the words do.
She waits for a beat before she speaks again. “She was always there for me. Always and when she needed me, I wasn’t there to help her.”
I should offer words of comfort about how no one can predict what will happen on any given day, but in my line of work, I know that little helps when someone is lost forever. “I can’t imagine the pain you and your brothers were in.”
“My dad too.” She runs the tip of her finger over my chest. “He loved my mom with everything he had. I tried to be strong for him, but I fell apart.”
I pull her closer, wanting to negate any distance between us so she feels every part of me. I need her to know that I want to swallow her pain. I long to steal it from her. I want to protect her from any more of life’s bullshit.
“I wish she was here to meet the baby.” She nuzzles closer. “My mom would have been an incredible grandma. I just hope that I can be half as good of a mom as she was.”
“I think you’ll make a great mom,” I say softly. “You’ll be an amazing mom.”
She murmurs something I can’t make out before her breathing evens. I hold her while she sleeps and when I start to drift I pray that this pregnancy goes smoothly so she doesn’t have to face another heartache.
I sit on the edge of the bed and watch Chloe sleep. She’s content and comfortable and that’s all I want her to feel forever.
We all have challenges and stories to tell. Chloe’s are tragic but they haven’t dampened her at all. She’s bright and beautiful. There’s a light in her eyes that tells you that she sees promise right around the next corner.
Despite everything she’s been through, she’s not jaded.
I wish I could say the same for myself.
I’ve wandered through life with a chip on my shoulder. I’ve spent too much time pissed off at the world for what it’s taken.
I glance at the clock on the table next to the bed. It’s past midnight here.
My phone hasn’t made a sound since I met up with Chloe and I’m grateful for that.
I’ll check in at the hospital before I crawl back into bed, but first, I need to make a call to California.
My sister, Carmen, didn’t make it through her battle with leukemia the way Chloe did. She suffered a stroke and her life is a shadow of what it used to be.
She doesn’t let it stop her though. She’s a teacher, a wife and one day soon she’ll be an aunt.
I scoop up my suit jacket and tug out my phone so I can call her and tell her the good news. It may be premature but it’ll give her some hope in a world that’s still filled with too much disappointment and pain.
I dial her number as I stand and walk out of my bedroom.
She answers instantly. ”Evan?”
“I’m having a baby, Carmen,” I whisper so I don’t wake Chloe. “I’m having a baby with the most incredible woman I’ve ever met.”