Chapter 18
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
Gage
I could see the curiosity in her tear-filled eyes before she asked the question. I knew that as soon as Katie found out about my daughter, that she’d wonder if I cheated on her.
If she only knew that my heart, my soul and yes, my body has only ever belonged to her.
I watch as she taps her thumb against each of the fingers on her right hand. She’s silently counting out the years, trying to determine how old I was when Kristin was born.
Scratching the side of my nose, I fill in the blanks. “When I met Kristin she was four. She was born a few days after my twentieth birthday.”
“Four?” She questions back with a genuine look of surprise on her face. “You didn’t know about her before then?”
“Not until the day I…”
My voice drifts because I should say, “Not until the day I fucking broke your heart.”
“Until the day you left,” she says softly. “You said earlier that you found out that morning. How?”
“Her mother called me.”
Katie’s eyes narrow. “Her mother? Who is her mother?”
I know the name I’m about to say is going to sting Katie. I only had one semi-serious girlfriend before we met.
Madison Velmont was a constant in my life when I was growing up. Her mom took care of the cleaning and cooking needs of my family. She was a single woman trying to support a daughter on her own.
They lived in an apartment in downtown Los Angeles but spent every day at my parents’ estate until seven p.m. when they’d catch a bus that would take them home.
When it came time for Madison’s prom, my mom insisted that I take her.
I didn’t complain. She was a cute brunette who was always flirting with me.
A year after I was accepted into UCLA, Madison got a full academic scholarship to Vanderbilt University.
She wanted me to make the move to Nashville with her. I refused. She said she loved me. I told her the feeling wasn’t mutual and she took off without another word.
Our paths didn’t cross again until she made a trip back to California to settle her mother’s modest estate.
That’s when she called me and dropped the bombshell that eight months after we broke up, Kristin was born.
“Is it Madison?” Katie blurts out. “Madison is her mom, isn’t she?”
Katie was a virgin when we met. I wasn’t by a long shot. Madison wasn’t the only lover I had, but she was the one my parents mentioned one night when they had too much wine over dinner.
“I always thought you’d end up with Madison,” my dad slurred.
“It’s a shame you didn’t,” my mom added after her goddamn fiftieth sip of the expensive Chardonnay they dug out of their wine cellar to toast to my engagement to Katie.
I’ll never forget the look on my fiancée’s face or the tears that streamed down her cheeks on our ride home.
I scolded my parents for that. I threatened to cut them from my life if they ever uttered Madison’s name again.
They didn’t until the day I told them that they were grandparents.
“Yes, Madison is Kristin’s mother,” I answer.
Silence stretches between us as she studies my face. “You left me to be with her…with them. You went to be with them, didn’t you?”
I did, and I didn’t.
I consider my next words carefully. “I couldn’t be around anyone when I first found out, so I got on my dad’s sailboat the day after I talked to you. I was gone for a week… maybe ten days. When I got back, I took a trip to Nashville to meet Kristin.”
I don’t mention that my first stop after I hit dry land was the apartment we shared, but Katie wasn’t there.
She broke the lease and cleared her stuff out. I picked up what was left from the landlord and stored it at my parents’ house until I settled into my own place in Nashville. I unpacked it then. I’ve kept those items close to me ever since.
A shaky breath leaves her. “Did you marry Madison?”
My reply is quick and clear. “No.”
The only reaction from her is a blink of her eyes.
“I went to Nashville to meet my daughter,” I go on. “I stayed because I had to.”
I pat the middle of my chest so she understands that love kept me in Nashville. The love I felt for my daughter the moment I met her only grew as time passed.
“So, Madison, Kristin, and you all live here now?” She gazes down the hallway. “Will they be back soon? I don’t want to be here when they come back.”
“I’ve never lived with Madison,” I stress each word. “I lived in the same apartment building as her and Kristin in Nashville, but we were never together, Katie.”
“Oh.” Her eyes widen. “I just assumed that you moved in with them.”
“No,” I shake my head. “We co-parented until…”
“Until what?” She takes a step closer, the blanket around her shoulders sliding down.
“Madison got married a year-and-a-half ago.” My hands fist at my sides. “Her husband landed a job in London. They made the move eight months ago.”
“London as in across the ocean?” She questions with narrowed eyes. “How does that work? Does Kristin come here for vacations or something?”
“Something,” I mutter.
It’s too fucked up to get into right now. The entire situation is a goddamn nightmare that I don’t think I’ll ever wake up from.
Her gaze drops to the floor. “This is a lot to take in.”
She doesn’t even know the half of it yet. My life since I left her has been out of control. I haven’t felt grounded until this minute.
Katie always made me feel that everything would be all right.
“I’m going to go now.” She tugs her phone out of the pocket of her skirt.
Her fingers fly over the screen. She hesitates before she types again. It’s obvious that she’s exchanging messages with someone. I hope to hell it’s not Preston.
“Can we talk again soon?” I ask because I need to tell her more. I want to explain everything to her.
“Maybe.” She sighs. “My friend is sending a car for me so I should get downstairs.”
“Your friend?”
She nods but doesn’t offer anything else.
A mental image of her finding comfort in Preston’s arms and his bed flashes before me. I push it aside because my petty jealousy doesn’t compare to what she’s feeling.
“I’ll walk you down,” I offer.
“No.” Her hand darts in the air to stop me. “I can find my own way out.”
I take a step toward her, but it only results in a step backward for her.
“Thank you, Katie,” I say hoarsely. “Thank you for coming and for listening.”
The only response from her is a brisk nod before she’s out my apartment door.