Chapter 32
CHAPTER THIRTY-TWO
Gage
If Tilly hadn’t shown up tonight, I would have taken Katie right there on her sofa.
I was so close to sliding down her body to taste her.
I sat through gelato and a discussion about Tilly’s work. Then I pretended not to notice how long they hung back in the kitchen.
I could hear their muffled voices, but I couldn’t make out one damn word.
Tilly took off just now after hugging Katie. She promised that she’d stop by Tin Anchor one night with her husband.
I told her that the first round would be on the house.
That brought a smile to her face.
I like her.
I can tell that she’s a good friend to the woman I love.
Katie turns back from the door to face me.
I don’t want her to feel uncomfortable about where we were headed earlier, so I step in and offer something I sense she needs. “I’m going to head out too.”
“You’re leaving?” The surprise in her tone catches me off guard.
I’d question if she wants me to stay, but I don’t want there to be an ounce of regret the morning after.
The only thing I want her to feel after we fuck is a need for more.
“I’m going home.”
Her hands fist in front of her. “Should we talk about what happened?”
I close the distance between us with measured steps. “The kiss.”
“We almost…” her voice trails. “I think we might have done more than kiss if Tilly hadn’t stopped by.”
“We would have done more than kiss.” I bring a hand to her chin. “We would have fucked.”
Her lips part, a small moan seeping out between them. “Gage.”
I trace her bottom lip with the pad of my thumb. “I want you, Katie.”
“It’s been a long time since we were together.” She looks up into my face. “It wouldn’t be the same.”
“It would be better.” I slide my hand to cup her cheek. “It would be so fucking good.”
Her lips thin into a straight line. “You think it would be better because we have more experience now?”
Regret slices through me like a hot knife. I’m the reason she has more experience. It’s my fucking fault that she’s been with other men.
“Katie.” I pause, trying to find the words to tell her that I don’t want to look into the past. I want to focus on what’s in front of me right now and I want her to do the same thing.
Her eyes lock on mine. “There were a lot, weren’t there? It’s been five years. You’ve slept with a lot of women since we…”
“Katie.” Her name escapes me in a growl. “Stop.”
“I’ve been with a few men.” Her gaze drops. “Just a handful. All of them here in New York.”
Christ. Please, fucking stop.
“We don’t have to do this.” I quiet her with a soft kiss to her lips. “We don’t.”
“How many, Gage?” Her lips tremble against mine. “Just tell me how many.”
I kiss her again, deeper this time. I taste her breath, slide my tongue along hers and claim her with my mouth the way I’ve wanted to for the past five years.
“Please,” she whispers as the kiss breaks. “I have to know.”
I gather her close to me, tucking her head under my chin the way I did when I needed her to know the profound depth of my love for her.
My arms circle her. Her hands rest against my back.
“Why won’t you tell me?” She sighs.
I lean back so I can look down into her hazel eyes. “Because you’ll understand just how fucked up I’ve been.”
Compassion swims in her gaze. “I want to understand. How many?”
I swallow back my hesitation and answer the question. “None, Katie. The last time was with you.”
Her eyes search mine for something. She’s looking for a sign that I’m speaking the truth.
The fact that my cock is hard as stone should be her first clue that I haven’t fucked a woman in half a decade.
I tried.
Jesus, did I try.
I never got past a kiss or a handful of a clothed tit.
Not one of the women I’ve met since I left California could compare to my Katie.
It wasn’t a conscious choice to abstain from sex, but that’s the journey I took.
I jerked off almost daily to the mental images I stored of Katie’s naked body, or her mouth on my cock.
I fucked my hand thinking about being inside her tight pussy.
It was enough because it had to be.
I don’t know how long I could have maintained it, but I never thought far ahead. I got through each day with the hope that I’d find her again.
“You haven’t been with a woman?” Tears well in the corner of her eyes. “Gage… I don’t know what… are you serious?”
I brush a tear from her cheek. “I’m dead serious.”
She shakes her head, her gaze dropping to the front of my jeans and the outline of my erection. “I didn’t know.”
“I tried to find you.” I shove a hand through my hair. “I never gave up hope that I would. I was harassing Eldred every few weeks. Eventually, he would have given up your location.”
Her mouth drops open.
I know that it’s news to her. I haven’t brought it up before now because damaging their sibling bond isn’t my intention.
I didn’t see the need to confess that I still call Eldred. He rarely answers. That doesn’t deter me.
“You talk to Eldred?”
“I try.” I huff out a laugh. “He’s usually too busy to take or return my calls.”
“I need to call him.” Her gaze darts back to the coffee table where her phone is. “He had no right.”
“He loves you,” I say because I know that her brother was only trying to protect her. “He thought it was his place to keep you safe.”
“From you?” She taps her hand on my chest. “I’m the only one who gets to decide whether I talk to you or not.”
“You’re talking to me now.” I cup her hands in mine and bring them to my mouth. I plant a soft kiss on her palm. “We’ll talk until we’ve said everything that needs to be said.”
She looks directly into my eyes. “We will.”
I tug her back into my chest, wrapping my arms around her. “I’m going to go so you can sleep.”
She nods.
I plant a kiss on the top of her head. “I’ll call you soon.”
“Tomorrow, Gage?” She tilts her head back to look up at me. “Call me tomorrow.”
I press my lips against hers in a slow kiss. “Tomorrow it is.”