Chapter 50
CHAPTER FIFTY
Gage
A man can wish for many things in his life.
Health.
Happiness.
Wealth.
Love.
I’ve had every last one of them.
My good health is a gift. Happiness has eluded me at times. Wealth was there until it was stripped from me when I dropped out of medical school. My parents donated my trust fund to a worthwhile charity since I wasn’t in line to follow the dream they had for me.
Love is the most complex thing in my life.
I have loved one woman. I still love her with every cell of my being.
My heart beats for her. My future belongs to her.
Yet, here I am, at the East River wondering what the hell I’m supposed to do next.
I touched down at La Guardia an hour ago.
I went home and then hit the sidewalk in running shorts and shoes.
This is where I landed, looking out over the water that used to be my oasis.
Katie is that now.
I want to be that for her, but I don’t know if life is going to allow it.
Madison is set on settling down in Los Angeles. She’s looking for a job and a place to live.
Perry is hanging back to start a new life in London, so Madison agreed to grant me as much time as I want with Kristin.
Her plan is simple.
I move into a place close to them and we pick up where we left off in Nashville before Perry dropped back into the picture.
Kristin will still visit him twice a year, but Madison and I will be her caregivers.
It’s not going to be easy since I’ve built a life in Manhattan.
I spot Gus walking toward me. I raise a hand in greeting. He responds in kind.
“You’ve been MIA.” He pats my shoulder as he passes behind me on his way to the bench. “Where did life take you, Gage?”
“Back to California.”
“You went to see your folks?”
Gus knows I grew up out west. I haven’t gotten into the details about my complicated relationship with my parents.
They love their granddaughter.
They’d love their son more if he were a doctor and not a bartender.
“My daughter,” I correct him taking a seat next to him.
“Kristin.”
I’m surprised that he remembers her name.
“How’s your girl?” He taps my knee. “I bet she’s growing like a weed.”
He’s never seen a picture of her. He has no idea how old she is yet he’s interested.
I suspect that stems from the lack of a family in his life.
“She’ll be as tall as me soon,” I joke.
“Time slips by in the blink of an eye.” He winks at me. “How’s Katie been?”
Supportive. I’d bet my last dollar that she’s also confused and concerned.
I need to see her. I have to explain where things stand with Kristin.
“Beautiful.” I smile at him.
“Bring her around.” He crosses his legs. The hem of his pants slides up, revealing a brown sock with holes.
His shoes look to be about a size nine.
I store that to memory so I can pick up a raincoat and socks. A sun hat wouldn’t hurt on mornings like this.
“You’ll be here tomorrow?” I ask as I push to stand.
“If that’s God’s plan you’ll find me here.” He gazes out over the water. “Whatever is troubling you, look to Katie for the answer.”
“Who says I’m troubled?”
He looks up into my face. “It’s not just words that tell a story, Gage. Your eyes give you away.”
I shove a hand at him. “You’re the wisest man I’ve ever known, Gus.”
He takes my hand in both of his. “You’re the kindest I’ve ever met so I’d say we’re even.”
I watch through the glass window at the front of Katie Rose Bridal as Katie consoles Annalise.
I’m not shocked that she’s back with her wedding gown in her hands. I am surprised that she’s here this early. The store doesn’t open for another twenty minutes.
Some might say it’s my fault that Annalise is facing the end of her engagement, but I did what needed to be done.
I called Myles when I was in Los Angeles, and we talked.
I reminded him about my mistakes with Katie and the loss that I carried with me for years.
He brushed it off, telling me that his situation is different from mine.
I pulled out the big guns and brought up the bachelor party.
I asked him to consider Annalise in this and whether it was fair to marry her if he still loved Karen.
He told me to mind my own fucking business.
Katie glances at the windows, her gaze catching on me. She looks beautiful in the white dress she’s wearing. Her hair is pulled up into a high ponytail.
I give the handle on the door a tug. It’s unlocked so I walk in.
“That’s a great idea, Kate. I’ll donate the gown today. I love the idea of someone else having a chance to wear it,” Annalise says before she looks in my direction. “Gage?”
“Annalise,” I answer back.
She drops the gown and rushes at me, launching into my arms. “Thank you. Thank you a million times over.”
I step back to study her face. “Thank you?”
She glances back at the crumpled dress on the floor. “I knew that he didn’t love me, but I got so caught up in the idea of the big wedding, the gown, some kids in the future… all of it.”
Katie moves closer to where we’re standing. The expression on her face is unreadable.
Fuck. This can’t be easy for her. I didn’t leave her because I loved another woman, but still, she was left with a wedding dress and no groom to exchange vows with.
“Myles told me that you talked to him.” Annalise wrings her hands together in front of her. The left is missing her massive engagement ring. “You told him to be honest with me, didn’t you?”
“I told him to be honest with himself.” I lock eyes with Katie. “I have some experience with that.”
Annalise’s gaze volleys between Katie and I. “I want a man who looks at me the same way you look at Kate. That’s what I’m waiting for.”
“You’ll find it,” I assure her.
“I hope you two know how lucky you are.” She looks to Katie before her eyes land on me. “One day you’re going to make beautiful babies together.”
A pained sound escapes Katie as her hands dart to her face.
Her knees give out, but I’m on her before she reaches the floor. I scoop her into my arms and carry her to a bench.
“I’m going to go,” Annalise whispers somewhere behind us.
Katie sobs into my shoulder. “I’m sorry, Gage. I’m so sorry.”
For what? What the fuck does this woman have to be sorry for?
“No,” I whisper as I hold her against me. “I’m sorry. I’m the one who fucked up the best thing that ever happened to me.”
“I’m sorry,” she whimpers.
“Katie.” I cup my hands around her face, forcing her to look at me. “You have nothing to be sorry for.”
Her bottom lip trembles as she stares into my eyes. “Please forgive me.”
“For what?” I spit out as tears cloud my vision.
What the fuck is going on?
Her voice is strangled as it leaves her lips. “I lost our baby, Gage. It’s my fault that our baby died.”