Chapter 50
CHAPTER FIFTY
Eden
Clark Dodson was the boy I thought I would eventually love.
I think that was because my dad loved the promise that he held and I wanted to give my dad the world after everything he had done for me.
Clark had a throwing arm that brought scouts from some of the nation’s best football schools to his games.
He was edgy and good-looking.
Tattoos covered his body. His dark hair was always a spikey mess.
He smoked clove cigarettes and got good grades.
My dad told me that Clark would take ‘us’ to the NFL.
Clark’s prospects were good. He was offered a full ride athletic scholarship to Ohio State, but everything changed on the night we graduated.
We left the graduation party together.
Our relationship was mostly handholding and a few stolen kisses.
Clark would sometimes talk about marrying me.
For a girl who believed in romantic fairytales, it should have been exciting.
I had visions of a career on Broadway, a husband who loved me, and at least two children.
The only problem was that the face of the husband in my dreams didn’t belong to Clark. It belonged to Dylan.
“When Clark came into the bedroom, he asked me if we had kissed.”
Dylan’s expression shifts. “Kissed? He didn’t ask if we fucked?”
I shake my head. I remember everything about that night. “No. He asked if we had kissed. I laughed and told him that we talked.”
“What happened then?”
“He laughed too.” I close my eyes briefly, a rush of memories flooding me all at once. “He kissed me. He told me he was tired. I told him we could leave.”
“He trusted you,” he says quietly. “He didn’t believe me.”
He’s right. Clark trusted me just as much as I trusted him. I was holding a secret for him that he knew I’d never share.
It was sacred to him.
“We had a bond,” I explain. “He needed someone in his corner who would never betray him. That’s who I was to him.”
Dylan nods.
“I didn’t love him,” I clarify. “I don’t think he ever loved me, but I knew something about him that connected us.”
“What do you mean?” Curiosity knits Dylan’s brow.
“Clark had a secret,” I admit softly. “Only his dad and I knew.”
My relationship with Clark fell apart the night of the accident. The secret his father had tried so hard to keep buried was unearthed.
I saw him only a handful of times after the accident.
He begged for my forgiveness. I begged him to take care of himself.
He didn’t. He died a few years later without getting the surgery that may have saved his life.
I look up for forgiveness even though I know Clark would grant it unconditionally.
“What was the secret?” Dylan asks gently.
“Clark had a heart condition.” I circle my thumb over Dylan’s hand. “It was serious enough that he shouldn’t have been playing football.”
“I had no idea.”
“I promised I’d never tell anyone.” I hang my head. “He told me one night because he couldn’t keep it in. He was scared. I told him I’d always be there for him. He needed me to always be there for him.”
Dylan’s eyes search my face.
“He fainted behind the wheel the night of the accident.” I close my eyes. “I reached over to take control of the car, but it was too late.”
Taking my face in his hands, Dylan kisses my cheek. “I had no idea that’s what happened that night.”
“No one did,” I whisper. “After the accident, everyone did. It ended his football career. It ended everything.”
I sip water from the glass that Dylan handed me.
It pains me to know that he’s lived with guilt for so long. I had no idea that he had tried to trick Clark into believing that we had made love in a stranger’s bedroom in a house I’d never been to.
Clark would have been angry with Dylan for saying something like that about me, but he would never have believed it.
My virginity was important to me.
Clark respected that.
I did until the accident.
The pain of it and the long road to recovery changed me. I sought out short- term connections to feed a need inside of me.
One of those short-term connections was with Dr. Aron Steiner.
He was ten years older than me, very successful, and handsome.
His need to control me broke us apart, but it didn’t stop his obsession.
“You and Clark were over after the accident?” Dylan asks gently. “You didn’t leave Chicago that summer?”
I shake my head. “No. I stayed there until we moved to Boston for school.”
“We?”
“My dad went with me.” I smile. “He got a job at a high school there coaching ball. He loved it.”
The corners of Dylan’s lips curve up. “Football was his life.”
It was. My dad lived and breathed the game. If he wasn’t on a field, he was watching a game on TV.
“Did he follow you to Buffalo after you passed the bar?”
I’m quiet for a second. “After I got married, my dad moved to Buffalo. Kurt used his connections to land my dad a coaching job at a high school there.”
“You and your ex settled there after you were done school?” His brows perk.
I know it can’t be easy for him to mention my ex-husband, but he’s part of my past.
I’ve tried to forget about Aron, but I can’t.
I’ll do whatever I can to keep him behind bars for as long as I can.
“I took a job in Monroe County.” I don’t bother adding that Aron opened an office there as a General Practitioner once I was settled into my job.
“What am I missing?” He narrows his eyes. “Kurt’s practice was in full swing by then. You could have handled divorces in the big city instead of in a small county, and you would have been closer to your dad. Did your ex-husband have work there?”
I swallow. “I wasn’t handling divorces. I was a prosecutor.”