Chapter Nine
Dickens
Should I have asked him about the tears?
Possibly not.
Probably not.
And yet I couldn’t regret the question. I passed off the dyslexia like it was no big deal because I suspected he didn’t want me to comment. So I accepted it as fact, pointed out Darlene would be perfect, and moved on.
Should I have told him he never had to be alone again?
Possibly not.
Probably not.
And yet I couldn’t regret my statement. I didn’t want to leave him alone. I wanted to spend more time with him. Get to know him. Find out what made him tick. What made him laugh. What else made him cry. Ridiculous as it sounded, I was looking into the future and seeing him as part of it. And that didn’t scare me. I hadn’t had a man seriously in my life since Isaac. Now, within days of meeting this annoying man, I wanted something permanent with him.
Well, annoying was too strong a word. Irritating? Even that felt too harsh. He just had quirks—like playing music too loud—but that was something we could compromise on.
Right?
You’re getting way ahead of yourself.
True. Hell, I didn’t even know if I was welcome here or making a pest of myself.
We continued to eat in silence. My call had thrilled Darlene.
Apparently her husband had just lost another job, and things were tight. He wouldn’t be happy about her working, but they needed the money.
I had strong opinions about the man, but I always kept my own counsel. If she ever saw the truth and left, Sunshine and I would be there to support her. I suspected Spike would be in that camp as well.
“What’s your name?”
His fork clattered to the plate.
I grinned. “A mother who read you Keats did not name you Spike.”
A shadow crossed his expression.
I instantly regretted my words said in jest.
He swept his arm in the air as if shooing away a fly. “She passed a long time ago.”
“I’m sorry.”
God, such a trite thing to say.
His sad, dark-brown eyes met mine. “Yeah, me too. I wish it’d been my dad and not her, but we don’t get to make choices like that.”
“But you’ve chosen to honor her.”
I might’ve been extrapolating a lot, but the love was so clear to see.
“If I honored her, I’d use the name she gave me.”
“Which was…?”
He was killing me.
“Fritz.”
I nearly burst out laughing. I held it in, though, but it was a near thing.
His expression told me that I wasn’t fooling anyone.
“She loved Swiss Family Robinson.”
He pushed some rice around on his plate. “I watch the film now, and I see how the natives were treated, and I think about colonialism.”
He cleared his throat. “But as a kid, I remember watching the movie with Mom and loving it. I thought it was cool to be named after a character in a book. Until I got to school and all the kids made fun of me. Mom tried to soothe the hurt, but between that and the fact I couldn’t read…well, school was hell for me. After mom died, I quit trying. I did the minimum it took to pass each grade, and the day I graduated I came out to my dad. As I expected, he booted me out. At least he gave me a couple hundred and enough time to pack a suitcase. I came down here and made a life for myself.”
So much to unpack. Was now the time? I should’ve been more prudent in asking him his name. Still, how was I supposed to know what a can of worms I might open?
He waved again. “No big deal, okay?”
He met my gaze directly. “I don’t regret anything in my life because it brought me to this point, and I’m fucking happy here.”
I spotted no prevarication. No wavering. Nothing to indicate he was anything but sincere. I’d have to take him at his word.
“Did you order dessert?”
Having just consumed a massive amount of food, I didn’t have room for dessert. And I hadn’t thought to order anything. “Uh, no.”
He clapped his hands together. “Great. I clean up, you…do whatever you need to do…and we meet in my bedroom in five minutes.”
His grin slipped. “Oh, what about your cat?”
“Sunshine took Aristotle home tonight. Just in case you needed me to stay with you.”
“I love your diligent employee, and I definitely need you to stay with me tonight.”
His grin was wicked.
Well, that was blunt. But I loved that about him. He said what was on his mind. I needed to do that more often.
Love? Strong word. I loved he was blunt, but did I love him? Had enough time passed for that? Maybe not. Whatever this was, though, I wanted more.
I rose, nodded, and wordlessly headed to the bathroom. I’d showered this morning and, despite all the stress, hadn’t sweated much today. I pissed, washed my hands, then grabbed the toothpaste and put a bit on my finger. Okay, so this was so tacky, but I wanted our second kiss to be nice. I didn’t want to worry about bad breath.
Were we even going to kiss? We’d fucked. Hard. And we’d had a clashing of the mouths, but that hadn’t really been a kiss. Nothing like leisurely exploration. Nothing like a getting to know you kiss. What if he just wanted me to pound into him again? I mean, he seemed up to the exertions. He certainly appeared to carry no lingering effects from his earlier episode. Was I overthinking this? I had a tendency to do that.
Once my teeth were clean, I washed my hands again, sniffed my pits, straightened my shirt, and headed into Spike’s bedroom.
Fritz’s bedroom.
Surprisingly, the name fit him. Yes, he wasn’t a blue-eyed blond. He was dark and broody. Yet, Fritz was far more suitable than Spike.
Whatever his name was, he lay on his bed. He’d pulled the comforter back, and he lay on the top sheet. Buck naked. Stroking his erect cock. “How do you want me?”
Any way I can get you.
A worthy sentiment, but unnecessary to speak aloud. Actions spoke louder than words anyway, right? So as I unbuttoned my shirt, I held his gaze—telegraphing my intention.
He spread his legs open and flexed his hips. Oh yeah, he understood.
I laid the shirt on the chair I’d sat in earlier. Then I unbuckled my belt. I lowered my zipper and removed my pants and underwear in one quick motion.
Still, I held his gaze.
I balanced myself on the back of the chair while removing my socks.
“Feet are so fucking sexy.”
Uh…so not going to go there. If he found my feet sexy, I guess that was all right.
He dragged his thumb across his slit, collected precum, and slid the digit into his mouth.
That was sexy as fuck. I palmed my cock in anticipation.
He pointed to the condoms and lube on the nightstand. “Did a run to the drugstore yesterday after work.”
In other words, after we’d fucked. Good, he didn’t have a stash on hand. I wasn’t the jealous type, but I also didn’t want to think about him with anyone else. Nope. He was all mine. And I intended to see it remained that way.
I crawled up the bed until I hovered over him.
“I’m fine, Dickens, honestly.”
He grinned ruefully. “I swear that’s never happened before, and it’ll never happen again.”
“See that it doesn’t.”
Of course I intended to keep a close eye on him. I didn’t need another fright like that.
He pressed his thumb to my brow. “Will you fuck me already?”
Just to be certain, I placed my hand against his forehead. Cool to the touch.
He snickered. “You’re about to make me hot and bothered, so don’t be thinking of checking later.”
“There are other ways to check.”
He cringed, and I winced. Yeah, so totally inappropriate.
Then he arched his hips up to meet mine, and our cocks brushed.
Heaven.
I lowered myself over him, and he opened his legs farther to welcome me. Like coming home. Somewhere comfortable. Somewhere familiar. Somewhere I wanted to return to again and again. As I dove in for a kiss, he snickered.
Surprised, I stopped.
“Just thinking this is going to be our first real kiss.”
His eyes lit with mischief.
I wanted to tell him to shut the fuck up, but fusing our mouths together would accomplish the same thing.
And it did.
He thrust his tongue into my mouth with little preamble, and I raked my teeth along the length as I pressed my pelvis against his.
His hips flexed, bringing us closer together.
Reminding me I had a job to do.
Sometimes the journey was as important as the destination.
Today was not one of those days.
Today I needed into him as quickly as I could, and I really needed him to come as quickly as he could.
A passing concern about his physical health flitted through my head, but I quickly dismissed it.
He’d been coherent through dinner, had drunk plenty of fluids, and very clearly knew what he wanted now.
I intended to give it to him.
I pulled back, he growled, and I grinned. I snagged the condom and wasted little time sheathing myself. I snagged the lube and coated my fingers.
He rolled his eyes.
“What?”
“I don’t need prepping.”
Perhaps not. Maybe he just liked it to go fast and hard. Sometimes I did as well. But tonight was not one of those nights. I wanted him to feel cared for. To know he was treasured. To get the sense he was important to me. Because he was. He was fucking everything to me.
As if sensing my steely resolve, he grabbed his knees and pulled his legs back and out of the way, affording me a lovely view.
I stroked his cock with one hand while I stuck my index finger into his entrance.
Our gazes held as I gauged every nuance. I stroked—he bit his lip. I slid in another finger—his pupils dilated. I scissored—he grunted. I hit his prostate—he let out a keening wail.
“More. God, Dickens, please, more. Want you in me. Now.”
His words were vaguely coherent, but the hectic color in his cheeks made it clear I was doing a good job edging him. Mimicking his earlier action, I slid my thumb across his slit, picking up a drop of precum, and then slipped the digit into my mouth and sucked.
He bucked.
Good.
I withdrew my fingers, and he snarled.
“Down, boy. I’ll give you what you want.”
As I coated my sheathed cock with lube, I held his gaze. I guided myself to him and tilted my head.
He nodded.
I pressed in.
He bore down.
I slid in to the hilt.
He gasped.
A moment passed where I held myself still, gazing down into his beautiful dark eyes. Then he slid his hands down my flank and grasped my ass.
I knew. Yes, he was giving me the signal to go ahead and fuck him, but he was also conveying so much more. Trust. Affection. Caring.
Dare I say…love?
He flexed his hips, drawing me in even farther. “Please.”
A hoarse whisper.
This I could give him. I pulled out almost to the tip and slid back in.
His fingers flexed against my ass.
Okay, message received. The next thrust was harder, and then I began a relentless pace. I didn’t give him time to catch his breath, and my own grip on sanity slipped with each stroke. Faster. I needed to go faster. I needed to bring him along with me and, fuck almighty, I needed him to go over first.
I reached down to grasp his cock, but he batted my hand away.
“I’ll do it.”
Okay, then. Meant I could focus on wringing every ounce of pleasure out of him. Out of myself. Out of where our bodies were joined so intimately.
His jerks became frantic movements as he chased his orgasm, and he managed to grit out an, “I’m coming,”
just before he erupted. His cum covered his stomach and chest and a bit hit me as well. His ass gripped my cock, and that was the beginning of the end for me as well.
Several deep and violent thrusts later, I tipped over the edge myself. Into bliss. Into heaven. Into somewhere I wanted to stay forever. So many words remained unspoken.
And yet, as I collapsed onto him, everything was crystal clear.