Chapter 24
Kandace
W hen I finally go downstairs, I hope Dax is still here. I also wouldn’t blame him if he left. Getting Molly to sleep took a little longer than usual. She had so many questions about Dax. Each time I said he’d come back to Riverbend, I also said a silent prayer that I wasn’t misleading her.
With my hands in the pockets of my dress, I go down the stairs.
The breeze through the open windows cools my skin.
The living room is empty, and the television is off despite knowing the Cardinals are playing right now.
The dining room is clean, and the kitchen is quiet.
I’m about to give up when I hear voices coming from out on the porch.
My heart sinks a bit, thinking Dax left without saying goodbye.
When I open the door, I’m relieved to see Dax’s golden stare and smile. Those simple qualities shouldn’t affect me the way they do, but I can’t deny they do. My mind is wary, but my body remembers what it’s like to be loved by this man.
“You’re still here,” I say, looking from him to my parents. I don’t know where Justin has gone, but the three sitting here seem to be doing well.
Dax stands. “I wouldn’t leave without saying goodbye.”
I lean against the side of the house. “Then I guess this is goodbye.”
He offers me his hand. “How about a walk?”
“Yeah, that didn’t exactly work out last time.”
Dax’s smile quirks. “I’d say it worked out exceptionally well.”
“We’ll listen for Molly,” Mom says. “Don’t worry.”
I’m not worried about our daughter. I know she’s asleep. “A marching band could parade through her room, and I don’t think she’d wake.” Finally, I look at Dax and removing my hand from my pocket, I take his.
Together we walk down the steps. The sky above us is dark and filled with stars. The farther away we get from the house and barns, the brighter the stars become. Low on the horizon is a large moon, shining its blue hue over the fields.
“I can feel it,” Dax finally says.
“What?”
“You’re closing yourself off. Today, upstairs in the store, you were laughing and?—”
“Kissing,” I say.
“But now you’re different.”
He’s right. I feel it too. My heart is beating too fast, and my skin is clammy. The delicious dinner is churning in my stomach. And prior to coming downstairs, I considered the urge to vomit.
But other than that...I’m fine.
I look out at the world around us.
The soft autumn breeze rustles the leaves as night sounds chirp around us. The path we take leads us to the edge of a soybean field. I look up at the sky before I turn my gaze on him. “I’m so scared.”
Dax’s arms go around me, pulling me against him. Instead of kissing him, I lay my head against his chest and close my eyes. His heartbeat is steady and fast. I want to stay here forever, in the warmth and safety of his embrace.
“I love you, Kandace.”
My head pops up, looking at his expression. “Don’t say things you don’t mean.”
“I mean it.” His body tenses. “I fucking do. I have since we were kids, and I’m an idiot for not doing something about it before now.
” He reaches for my cheeks. “Molly is amazing. I want to be her dad in all senses of the word. But you, Kandace Sheers, you rock my world, and you always have. You are gorgeous and kind. You’re stubborn and loving.
You’re true to your soul, a great friend, a fantastic mom, daughter, sister, and a hard worker. I. Love. You .”
I hold back the tears.
He goes on, “I don’t know if this is some plan hatched by my grandma, but whatever it is, I don’t want to lose you. I want another chance.”
Sniffling, I confess, “I’ve loved you for as long as I can remember. I never stopped.”
With his hands still on my cheeks, Dax pulls me to him until he claims my lips. Our kiss goes on as if we’ve been on a hunger strike. Despite the meal we’ve just eaten, we’re ravenous for one another. Our tongues twist and slide over one another as Dax’s touch lowers to my arms and back.
I’m lost in the sensation of his body against mine as Dax awakens parts of me that have been hibernating for years. There’s energy in our connection, a spark that could threaten the nearby wooded acres.
The longer we kiss, the more his hardness beneath his pants pushes against me.
My nipples draw tight and my core twists.
For the first time in years, desire swells within me, reminding me of what I’ve been without.
Such as a dry field in need of rain, my body wants to be his, to have Dax make me feel the way only he has.
Finally, I take a step back and let my mind win. “The last time I had sex,” I say, “was when we conceived Molly. I’m not ready for that, not yet.”
His brow furrows. “There’s been no one else?”
“Never. It isn’t like I was waiting for you to come back, Dax. A single mom living with her parents isn’t exactly a great catch.”
His smile shimmers in the moonlight. “I think you’re an amazing catch.”
“Well, I’ve been busy.” Taking a breath, I blurt out my next sentence. “You don’t need to tell me anything about the last six years. It’s none of my business. But if you’re married or committed to someone, I guess I should know that.”
He reaches for my hand, intertwines our fingers, and lifts mine to his lips. “I can’t say there’s been no one else.”
“I don’t need to hear this.”
His forehead tips down to mine. “I can say that no one was you.”
“Right. You haven’t thought about me until you saw my name on Ruth’s will.”
“That’s not true. Since Grandma didn’t talk about you, I figured I’d missed my chance. I assumed that you were happily married and living your dream in Riverbend.”
“The thing is,” I say, looking into his golden gaze, “my dream had you in it, my quintessential one.”
“Let’s make that dream come true.”
I take a deep breath.
“I’m committed to someone,” he says. Before I can respond, he adds, “You, Kandace. I’m committed to you if you’ll have me.”
For a long time, we stand near the soybean field simply holding one another.
It isn’t a night of passion. Maybe instead, it’s a night of healing.
We talk about Molly, and Dax asks a million questions.
Finally, we sit on the grass, and I tell him stories about our daughter.
It feels right for him to know these things.
As he laughs with me about her antics and grows concerned when I mention her ear infections, I want to share more.
A look at my watch tells me it’s after midnight.
Standing, I brush the grass from my dress. “I need to get to bed. Tomorrow is already here.”
Together, we walk to Dax’s car. It’s slick and black with an expensive logo on the front grill. “Not a good car for baling,” I say.
“Maybe a truck is in my future.”
“Don’t change for me, Molly, or Riverbend.”
“I’ll do whatever I need to do to earn your love, Kandace.”
“You have it. Please don’t break me again.”
He pulls me to him and takes my lips. When we pull apart, Dax grins. “I’ll be back.”
It’s the last thing we say before he gets into his car and drives away.
Every cell within me wants to believe him, yet I’m frightened.
I’m so frightened.
Telling me he’d return was the last thing he said six years ago.