12. Ben #2
Charles and I had grown up together, hit puberty together.
He’d helped me through my alpha training, and I’d connected him with the girl I had thought would be his mate—she’d ended up running off with a different guy to another state.
We’d been through thick and thin since he showed up on our lands when he was six years old, his hand clutched in his mother’s, who had been bruised from head to toe.
What she had to endure to look like that after even a day of travel had told our alpha all he needed to know, and they were adopted into our pack with open arms.
Charles had killed her, too, along with my wife. Her body had been outside my house under a shattered door. She’d tried to show her love to our pack to the very end, even against her own son.
I could never forgive him for that.
And yet, the wolf standing in front of me was not Charles.
“ Who the hell are you? ”
The wolf slammed into me and tried to sink his teeth into my neck.
Shit, I had to concentrate! But how could I when I was smelling my beta, when I was seeing my beta, but somehow wasn’t hearing my beta.
Nothing was making sense!
I jerked my head to the side and spun, one of my legs catching the wolf in the side. It was enough to push him back, but not enough to have me be safe, because then he was jumping right onto my back, jaws trying to close over my head.
My first instinct was to roll, but I had been around long enough to know that was the worst thing I could do. Turtling would give him total control if he actually managed to sink his teeth into me.
I backed away rapidly, then reared up. It definitely rattled the wolf, and I whirled to press my advantage.
But then I was staring into the same golden eyes of the man I’d once considered my best friend. The man I’d trusted with everything.
Thousands of thoughts and emotions all slammed into me at once, all of which I thought I’d never have to experience again. That and the fact that I hadn’t fought since I’d stood over Charles’s corpse rattled me yet again, and the next thing I knew, the wolf tackled me to the ground.
We rolled over each other, ass over teakettle, both of us snarling and snapping and biting. I knew I was losing, but I couldn’t scramble back to the present like I used to be able to. Flickers of my past kept trying to take over, superimposing upon reality.
I had to win. I had to. But those dark, clawed hands were reaching out of the blood again, wanting to drag me to oblivion.
“Get away from him!”
Just as abruptly as our fight had started, the weight on top of me and the gnashing teeth were gone. I lay there, panting as I stared up at the stars, trying to figure out when I was.
“I said stop! ”
Giselle.
Realizing that it was her voice I was hearing slammed into me far harder than not-Charles had, and I popped to my feet in horror. Sure enough, she was under the gray wolf just a few feet away, his drool and blood dripping onto her face.
I lurched forward, knowing I had to save her, but I didn’t so much as take a full leap before my opponent howled and collapsed onto her.
Was I dreaming?
My brain rebooted, and I rushed to her, afraid she might be crushed under the massive wolf’s body, but then steam began to pour from the writhing beast, and he fell to the side before turning completely human.
I was stunned. Completely gobsmacked. I had no idea what was going on until the man stilled, and I saw a silver bracelet sticking out of his eye.
A silver medical bracelet.
“I…” Giselle whispered raggedly before standing up. I could hear her heart hammering even from where I was, but still, I was in awe of her. I had no idea how she was on her feet, and also had no idea how she turned and stared at me with utter calm.
“I don’t want to be hospitalized again, so I need my beta blockers.”
Wait, what?
I looked from her to the still-writhing form of the man who’d stolen my car, taken her, and fought with me. He kept trying to grab the bracelet and pull it free, but every time he touched it, his hands sizzled, and he lost his grip.
He had to be in terrible pain. Truly agonizing pain.
Good.
“My beta blockers are in my purse, so I need you to shift back and drive your car back to my purse, please,” Giselle continued calmly.
I didn’t comprehend her words at first. My gaze was locked on the man who smelled exactly like Charles. Except he didn’t look quite the same. Despite the darkness, I could tell his hair was redder, his frame leaner and taller. And his blood?
His blood smelled off.
But if it wasn’t Charles, who was he? Clearly, he knew me enough to attack me.
My wolf howled, wondering why we weren’t ending it with our opponent. Why we weren’t taking out any threat to our loved ones. But when I took a step forward to appease him, Giselle stepped in front of me.
“I’m not sure if you can hear me, but I need my beta blockers now. There is no time to delay. So, please shift and take me back to my purse.”
She was talking to me like a teacher, but my wolf bristled at it. She didn’t know! She didn’t understand! We had to take out the enemy. We’d already done it once, but clearly it hadn’t stuck!
My mind was in a furor, overlapping thoughts all fighting and shouting at the same time. I wanted revenge. I’d thought I’d gotten it, but the man in front of me proved that I’d failed. Again. Vengeance would bring me no solace, but my wolf crowed that we needed it. We wouldn’t survive without it.
Then there was the paranoia. Somehow, I hadn’t killed him good enough the first time. I had to do it again. And better.
But he’s not Charles, the more human side of me tried to insist. And yet the wolf side of me didn’t understand how he could be anyone else.
Chaos. Pure chaos. It made me want to puke. It made me want to sink my teeth into the helpless man’s throat and rip and tear until all that remained of him was a bloody paste. I wanted… I wanted…
“Ben, please. I need your help.”
Those words were like a balm over the raging infection of hatred within me, and suddenly I was acutely aware of her racing heart again, and her cortisol scent was so strong it was nearly enough to overcome the blood and pain of not-Charles as he continued to whine and whimper.
She needed me.
I gave the bleeding phantom one last look. One last look at the man who couldn’t—shouldn’t—exist. And in that moment, I let him go.
Breathing deep, I pushed my wolf to the side and took the reins again. He was pissed, but I told him our job was to protect, and Giselle needed our protection.
That shut him up enough for me to shift. In spite of that, it was far more searing and aching than it usually was. Granted, did I even have a usual anymore, considering I hadn’t shifted since that night I’d killed Charles in retribution?
I didn’t know, but I would worry about that later. I pointedly didn’t look at Giselle’s expression as I changed from a giant wolf to a man and got to my feet.
When we did lock eyes, her hazel with my blue, her pupils dilated to pinpoints even in the dark, I didn’t see terror there.
“Let’s go,” I said simply.