16. Ben #5
“There’s Moose Tracks ice cream in the freezer.” Holy fuck, had my voice sounded so wrecked during our countdown? It was like I’d been screaming at a metal concert for a few hours and now my throat was completely raw.
It would heal up in a matter of minutes once I got some calories into me.
“Moose Tracks? A man of taste, I see.”
I didn’t know how I managed it, but I winked at her. “Don’t you know it.”
Don’t you know it? Since when was I smooth? It must have been the adrenaline.
“Okay, you sit here, I’ll be right back. Do you have any fixin’s for it?”
“Fixings?” I repeated somewhat dubiously. “The fixings are already in it.”
“The world is cruel and life is short. I don’t judge a man for how he chooses to indulge with his frozen dessert.”
I managed a shaky half-laugh, but that seemed to be enough. Giselle hurried off to the kitchen, and it wasn’t until I heard her rummaging around that I realized I should have been in there serving her something, not the other way around.
I was being a terrible host.
I was tempted to go in there, apologize, and scoop her ice cream like the manly man I was, but right as I moved to get to my feet, she called out from the kitchen.
“And don’t you dare think about coming in here and trying to take over!”
Now that was uncanny. “Yes, ma’am!”
I stayed put. And it was nice to do so. Although I didn’t have the rapid heartbeat, sweat, or even the terror I usually had, I had blacked out. I couldn’t even remember getting to the couch.
Was I getting worse?
Or was I finally processing things I’d been blocking off all this time because it never felt safe enough to actually feel them?
That’s enough from you, Dr. Phil, I chided myself. Although I liked to think I was fairly in touch with my emotions, that didn’t mean I needed to sound like a talk-show conman.
“Here we are,” Giselle said as she returned, a bowl of ice cream in each hand and one of those Ensures under her armpit.
“That part of your new strategy?” I asked, pointing to it.
“Yeah. I’m supposed to have three of these a day. This is my second one.”
I looked at the clock on the wall—an increasingly rare decoration, from what I’d heard. “It’s seven.”
Normally that wouldn’t really be all that late, but Giselle was a teacher. And although I wasn’t one myself, I knew that they often had to go to bed ridiculously early. Either that or they chronically deprived themselves of sleep.
Ugh, I could not imagine trying to handle twenty kids while being short on sleep. It was different for shifters, since healing eased a lot of sleep deprivation.
However, that being said , I really liked my sleep and was way more comfortable if I could get my full forty winks. And the last time that had happened was… about a year and a half ago.
Funny how that worked out.
Except, it wasn’t really funny at all.
“Here ya go,” Giselle said, her soothing voice chipper as she handed me the fuller bowl. It had about twice as many scoops as hers. “I’m not conceited enough to think that I can out-eat a shifter.”
“Fair enough.”
“You mind if I sit next to you?” she asked and suddenly her scent was a little saltier. Such things were a little different with each person, but if I had to guess what my nose was picking up on, it was apprehension, or even a tinge of nervousness.
“Of course you can,” I said, trying to sound chill. I couldn’t tell how nonchalant I was, but it seemed to be enough because that tinge disappeared and her scent bloomed with happiness and even a little excitement.
“Thanks for the ice cream,” she said cheerily as she perched next to me. It wasn’t quite snuggling up, but it was definitely adjacent. What, was I a teenager again, my adrenaline perking up at the presence of a beautiful woman beside me?
“I should be thanking you,” I said. “You’re the one who suggested it and got it for me.”
She shrugged. “My brother always needed something sugary and then something satiating after his panic attacks, so I figure it’s probably even worse for you with your wolfy metabolism.”
“Wolfy metabolism,” I repeated with a chuckle. “That’s one way to put it.”
“I figured it was less of a mouthful to say than ‘higher caloric demands due to your shapeshifting nature’.”
“I dunno, HCDTYSN has a certain ring, doesn’t it?”
Now it was her turn to laugh and roll her eyes. “ Anyway, I figured once your stomach settled from this, we can heat you up another plate of the pasta you made.”
How was she so thoughtful? We barely knew each other, and she was already taking care of me with such insight.
In reality, wasn’t she the one who deserved to be pampered and taken care of?
It seemed that so much of her life was dedicated to helping those around her.
I didn’t want to be just another one of those people.
I wanted her to know what it was like to sit back and be pampered, to truly rest without responsibility.
It was probably a pretty delusional thing to want, but oh well.
I was trapped between the past that had shaped so much of who I was, the love I still had for my wife, and the temptation of the new world of possibilities that Giselle was showing me.
The issue was, I didn’t know which way was the right way to go.
I never wanted to lose Millia. I never wanted to forget how messy her hair would be after spinning like a rotisserie chicken all night or how she somehow always managed to get a splotch of flour on her cheek whenever she baked.
She’d always looked so radiant when she was in her garden, harvesting food she would turn into a delicious meal or a preserve.
For the longest time, I thought that meant I would stay single the rest of my life, and that my love story had already been concluded. That I didn’t deserve to have another go-around. But now, that was beginning to change.
Benny was getting older, and although I had Natalie, I had a lot of issues that were working as a detriment to him.
And while I was resigned to have these wounds for the rest of my life, I would be damned if I was going to short my son on anything.
He’d already survived what no child should have to experience, something that would no doubt carry complications throughout his entire life.
So, if getting more therapy and healing myself was going to help him, I would do it.
“Do you want to watch something while we eat?” Giselle asked, all smiles.
As tempted as I was to forget all about the complications and responsibilities of my life, I was ready to hear what had happened.
“Actually, I want to talk about our attacker. Did he threaten you? Give some sort of ultimatum?”
Her eyes widened, and she swallowed hard, but she recovered quickly. “Uh, are you sure you don’t want to finish your ice cream first?”
I supposed Moose Tracks and malevolence were not a very common combination, but I couldn’t wait any longer. My mind told me something truly awful had to have happened, but the way Giselle was acting told me the opposite, and my brain was starting to have a conniption.
“No, it’s fine. You explain, and I’ll figure out if I’m eating this in celebration or to eat my emotions.”
“Well, that’s one strategy.” Giselle wiggled around, crossing her legs under her. Her nerves were making me even more nervous. The whole situation felt like it was all over the place.
“The guy’s name is Melton, and he is Charles’s older brother.”
“But—”
“Let me finish,” she said gently. Couldn’t exactly listen if I was talking over her, even if my inner wolf was pacing restlessly inside me.
“He said he ran away from home at sixteen to get away from his abusive family. You didn’t really mention it before, but I’m guessing you could corroborate that? ”
I frowned as ancient memories came back.
Charles had been skinny when he arrived at the pack, his clothes threadbare and arms covered with small, circular scars that looked a lot like burns.
At the time, I hadn’t known what they were, but as I grew older, I understood just how incredible the beta was for what he’d endured.
He always flinched when someone dropped a glass, and he hid when he smelled alcohol on someone’s breath. It was another life, really, but still... how could I have forgotten all that?
“It was never told to us explicitly, but yeah, I figured he didn’t have the best home life when he, his mother, and one of his cousins showed up here.”
“Cousins? Melton didn’t mention that!”
“He probably didn’t know. She was quite a bit older than Charles, about fourteen or so, and ended up falling in love with a wolf shifter from Ireland during a study abroad program for college. As far as I know, she’s still there.”
“You don’t keep contact with her?” Giselle sounded shocked but I couldn’t really figure out why.
“After I told her what her cousin did, she never spoke to me again.”
“Ah.” I sensed more of that embarrassment leak into her scent, but she quickly moved on.
“Well, you see, Melton promised that he would return and save his brother. But by the time he was finally able to, Charles was already with your pack. He saw how well he was taken care of, thought he couldn’t do any better and didn’t deserve to be reunited with the family he abandoned, so he left. ”
She looked at me so meaningfully during that last sentence I couldn’t help but wonder if she was reading my thoughts. Or if she knew me that well. Because those words echoed the sentiment I had had only moments earlier.
Or maybe she was just uncanny like that.
“So he left, living his life with the thought that his brother and mother were safe. But eventually, news of what happened reached him, and it led him to seek revenge against you. I’m not sure on the timeline of it all, whether he ruminated on it for a while or he just had trouble finding you, but yeah, that’s basically the why of all this happening. ”
“He probably had difficulty finding us, because I sold our pack lands, and I’m living in human territory now.”