Chapter 9 Clarity
CLARITY
LOURDES
When the audience filed out, I left the stage and waited in the wings to say something—anything—to Leah. She was on a high, but so was I. And I was finally brave enough to tell her how I felt. Unfortunately, I never made it.
Clive pulled Leah into a kiss and pressed her against the wall. The two of them snogged like horny teens for a good solid minute before she pushed him away. I rolled my eyes. Their intermittent boning was so very annoying to the entire cast.
I stormed off to my dressing room and began to rip my clothes off not out of rage but because I was a sweaty mess and would have to do this all over again for the matinee tomorrow.
“You did a brilliant job,” the wardrobe assistant said. “Everyone was good, but you were so fab.”
“Thanks,” I murmured, knowing that Victoria was a runaway hit because of Leah, not me.
By the time I was free of my stays, I found myself in a hallway staring at the face of actual royalty.
Or rather, faces. There was Her Majesty the Queen—live and acting like she was any other VIP.
She walked at a fast clip, stopping to thank people occasionally.
The Queen managed a crowd perfectly, stepping right in to congratulate the leads.
“You all have no business being so magnificent at your ages.”
Hair still in a wig cap and wearing a dressing gown, Leah rushed through the fray to hug her aunt.
“You came!”
“Well, of course, I did, darling. I wouldn’t have missed it.”
“Come here,” Prince George, Leah’s father and the Queen’s brother, insisted. “You were wonderful!”
“Thank you, Papa.” Leah hugged him tight.
“You were amazing!” Patrick, her other father, added to the hug.
“Thank you, Daddy.”
“It was wonderful, darling,” The Queen said. “Just wonderful!”
Leah blushed. “Thank you all for coming. I had the time of my life.”
“We all did,” I said.
Leah looked at me and grinned. I hated that I melted but I did.
“Everyone,” Leah moved towards me and squeezing my hand, “this is Alexandra a.k.a. Lourdes Lennon. She is a phenomenal talent.”
“She was lovely,” The Queen said, nearly knocking me off my feet. “Queen Alexandra was such a clotheshorse and so fashionable. You captured her well.”
“Thank you, Your Majesty, that is a total honor.”
Then, we were intercepted. Leah dropped my hand as Clive approached and threw an arm around her.
“Are we headed out soon, love?”
How dare he! He didn’t even introduce himself to her family?
No bows. No honorariums. Was he a brave republican making a statement about the royals?
Or just rude? I gathered it was him being rude and feeling a need to stake a claim.
I wanted to know how Clive knew Prince George on a base level but knew better than to ask.
“In a minute, Clive. I’m just saying hi to everyone,” Leah said quietly.
“What now?” George asked. “Where are you going?”
“Papa, we have a reception. You can come—or not.”
“We have been strong-armed into being charming,” I explained. “Promo.”
“George, this is the party I told you about!” Her Majesty rolled her eyes. “They want a photo op.”
“With me?” George pointed to himself.
Leah threw her head back in annoyance.
“No, Georgie, me. The Head of State,” The Queen said, exasperated. “Where on earth does your mini get her main character energy from?”
I held in a snicker, unsure if it was rude.
“You can laugh, darling, it’s quite alright,” Her Majesty said.
“So, are you working?” George asked. “Daddy and I wanted to actually spend time with you.”
“And that is why I scheduled brunch tomorrow. Because after we fool people into think we’re charming, Papa, we’re going out to tie one on,” Leah said. “The young people—not you.”
“Bullocks.”
Leah rolled her eyes. “I will see you tomorrow for brunch. Calm the fuck down!”
Her language surprised me. She had such a potty mouth, but no one batted an eye. Did The Queen swear like a sailor? I was dying to know more, even as I seethed about Clive’s move to assume ownership of Leah.
“Bullocks.”
“Fine. We will see you on the other side. Go on, do as you need to. We’ll be down drinking at the reception.” Her Majesty turned to leave and barked, “Come, George!”
I stared in disbelief.
“And that is why everyone jokes that they were born in the wrong order,” Leah said. “Please ignore them. Go back to doing what you were doing. And do not mention them or I will smite you.”
I smiled, almost dreamily. Though I was cross with her, now that I’d seen her entire family emote, I couldn’t ignore the way her brow furrowed just like her father’s or the way she barked orders in Victoria’s accent just like the queen herself.
Leah glared. Finger pointed, she dispersed, “I’m dead serious, Lou!”
“And I’m not afraid of you,” I turned to my dressing room.
I shut the door, trying to soak up the tumultuous and disparate emotions that floated in my brain.
There was the post-show high that gave way the low of rejection and another feeling I couldn’t place.
Why did everything familiar about Leah make me want her more?
And why didn’t she see how badly I wanted and needed her?
I focused on the rise and fall of my breaths and the cool doorknob touching my arm.
A knock jolted me awake.
“Yes?” I panicked.
“It’s me,” Leah said. “Uh… I wanted to see if you wanted to sing with me at the thing?”
I opened the door. “What?”
“Monster-in-Law?” Leah asked.
I furrowed my brow. “What?”
“Do you want to sing Monster-in-Law for the encore. Babes, are you okay?” Leah giggled.
“Why?”
“Because we’re supposed to thank them or make them happy or whatever. I just thought—”
“I know how this works,” I said, annoyed. “Unlike you I’ve been at this forever, Leah.”
As soon as I said it, her face dropped. Wounded, Leah looked at her toes.
“I… I just meant you’re… the star,” I rubbed my temples. “You are, Leah. Not me…. and…”
“But I live for that song, Lou,” she said, voice tiny and gaze still on the nasty vinyl tile below our feet. “We were electric tonight. Don’t you see?”
I rubbed her shoulders, needing to reassure her. Leah’s gaze returned to mine. Her blue eyes were so pure and sweet. She was handing me a bone and trying to be gracious. I’d just slammed the door in her face.
“I would love to sing the song,” I agreed. “I just didn’t want to step on your toes.”
A smile began to cross her face. “I appreciate it, but I say what I mean, unlike you people. If I offer something, it comes out of my genuine Midwestern side.”
“I have no idea what to do with that,” I snickered, dropping my hands from her shoulders.
Leah took my hands. “Just say thank you.”
I squeezed her hands. “Thank you.”
I couldn’t shake her gaze. I expected her to turn and leave, but she didn’t.
Leah dropped my hands. Then, slowly and sweetly, she cupped my face and leaned to kiss me.
It all happened so fast that I barely had time to stop her.
The way her lips tenderly brushed mine sent a shiver down my spine.
But where I felt longing, I worried once more this was all some sort of fun backstage fling she was having.
I pulled back. “Leah, I… I need to change. Sorry.”
Hurt spread across her face. “Oh. Sorry. I—”
“No, it’s just… I am sure Clive is waiting—”
“He can wait,” Leah said. “If I’m the star, I can spend my time how I want. He can wait. He’s been up my ass all night.”
“He’s a bloody barnacle I—”
“You warned me, yeah,” Leah said. “But… I sometimes gotta make mistakes to learn.”
“Well, don’t make the mistake of angering the producers. That is the kiss of death, ingenue.”
“Point taken.” Leah put on a cheeky grin. “To be continued.”