Epilogue
LEAH
Settling in my seat for the second time, I prayed things would slow.
When I agreed to step in for a legendary Broadway actress who fell ill and to take up the reins of a musical’s original song, I never imagined how run down I would feel.
Pregnancy with twins kicked my ass. We’d been for an ultrasound where they’d spied not one—but two heartbeats. Relief and panic set in.
As I sat, a PA came to get Lou during a commercial break. She was presenting best costume. Lou gave me a quick kiss and stood from her aisle seat.
“You did beautifully,” Lou said.
“Don’t trip,” I giggled.
It was her biggest fear at these things.
“I promise I won’t.”
As a seat filler took her place, Dad leaned. “That was beautiful, sweetheart. You carried it. How did you learn that in two weeks?”
“Oh, two weeks is generous,” I whispered.
“I couldn’t learn a single song on piano, let alone play it in that time.”
I smiled. “It was fun. What sucks is the walking. My hips are crying out for mercy.”
I didn’t realize the toll pregnancy took on a body before you even looked pregnant. I had a feeling I’d be so sore tomorrow. I returned my focus to stage to see the presenters for the Best Short Film award category. It was the last category before Lou’s.
When she stepped out, gleaming in red—her color—I beamed.
She carried the thick gold envelope with the category winner.
I hoped it said Sisi. The camera caught my reaction to her appearance.
I tried to ignore it while we waited, wishing they were trained on our costume designer. It was her moment, not mine.
“Costumes transform actors into larger-than-life characters,” Lou’s co-presenter, a distinguished dramatic actor, spoke.
“They can transport us to mythical worlds, to the past, or to the unknown beyond Earth’s atmosphere,” Lou added.
“This year, the nominations for Best Costume Design are…” her co-presenter began.
I ignored it until they got to Sisi. I couldn’t think about much other than being sucked into beautiful gowns daily. It was miserable some days, but I looked gorgeous. I felt every bit a dowager empress.
“And the winner is,” he nodded at Lou.
Lou popped the envelope and I knew immediately it was ours. Her mouth shot into a beautiful toothy grin. “Beth Dideau for Sisi.”
A cheer rang. Dad and Papa helped me stand. My back ached as I waited for Beth to make her way down to the stage. We were in the second row. She had to traverse half the auditorium. I gave her a massive hug once she finally reached me.
“You deserve it so much,” I whispered. “Congrats.”
“Thank you,” she said through tears.
“Win number one,” Papa helped me sit as Beth spoke.
I hoped it wouldn’t be our last. I also knew it was a break and wanted to use the restroom, but had no time.
The next category was the first two for me, hence why a camera approached.
I was the favorite for Best Supporting Actress, even if I felt undeserving.
I cared far less about this than my adapted screenplay nomination.
As the presenters took the stage, I halfheartedly hoped I wouldn’t have to rise.
I had to pee. Papa held my hand in one hand and Dad’s in the other.
Lou’s father smiled over, proud of me, too.
When the envelope popped, I listened, face steely because a sudden wave of nausea hit.
“Leah Roughy for Sisi.”
They rolled b-roll of my performance as I fought through the urge to puke.
My father’s hoisted me and I wound to the stage, realizing that Lou had my speech in her purse. Caught completely off-guard, I had to wing it. I prayed that the gift of gab Auntie Nat possessed was genetic. The woman rarely needed a script. I accepted my award graciously and stepped forward.
“Oh… um… Christ,” I chuckled nervously, holding up the statue.
“I apologize because I don’t have my speech because, honestly, I didn’t think I would be up here.
Uh… thank you all. I am so grateful for the honor, even if I feel every one of the women in this category was more worthy of this than me. ”
I turned to where my fathers sat, shrouded by the stage lights.
“To my fathers, thank you for always encouraging me in my wild pursuits, even this. I know you didn’t want me to be an actor, but you always loved me.
I hope this proves a little bit why I pursued it.
I love playing a villain, believe it or not, and playing Sisi’s nightmarish mother-in-law was such a treat.
To my director, agent, and the producers who helped partner to make this possible, thank you.
And to Lourdes, I love you, baby. I only wish I’d gotten my speech from you before you came up to present. Thank you!”
LOURDES
“Oh my God, you’re here!” Leah rushed to kiss me, catching me off guard in the wings.
I stuck around to see if she won.
As with all things Leah, she dove in, wrapping her arms around me and kissing me deeply. I felt the cold of her award on my shoulders and pulled back.
“Well, what is it like to be one letter short of an EGOT?”
“Amazing,” Leah laughed. “I am sorry I left the speech with you.”
“It’s like not packing your mac. It will never rain.”
She kissed me. “I love you so much. Thanks for waiting. I have no idea what I’m doing next.”
Leah turned to her agent.
“It’s time to go to the press corps,” her agent said.
“Shit. I actually have to piss like a racehorse. Can I run to the loo quick?”
Her agent groaned.
“Look, my bladder is gonna explode.”
“She’s got people on her bladder,” I said. “Let me help you, love. This dress is too much.”
It was. The massive jade ballgown she’d put on to sing her song was too grand. She relinquished her golden man to the agent and followed me. Working together, I held the ballgown up while she took care of business in the loo.
“Sorry,” Leah said. “Least glamorous assignment of the evening.”
“Better me than anyone else,” I said. “It’s okay. I am sure this pale compared to watching a human leave your body soon.”
Leah washed her hands. “Does it freak you out?”
“Only because I worry about you, Leah. I can handle it. I love you, baby. I am excited. But first, let’s get you through this, a quick change, and your next few nominations.”
“The baby is killing me,” Leah sighed. “I want to vomit and fall down all at once.”
We emerged from the toilets and followed the PA through the liminal mélange of hallways to where the press waited.
I stepped back with her agent and let Leah do her thing.
She was still noticeably overwhelmed—a side of her I rarely saw on a professional stage anymore.
It harkened back to our early days on Victoria when she’d been so nervous to fuck things up.
“I am… overwhelmed,” Leah said. “And have no idea what is happening.”
“Are you happy?” Someone called.
“Of course!” Leah laughed.
“Your reaction looked a little sad,” another reporter added.
“Oh, my God, I am so sorry. I sort of froze. I left my speech in my partner’s purse which her agent had in hand, so I didn’t have it.”
“And what is next for you then? Anything?”
Leah laughed nervously, “Hopefully best adapted screenplay?”
“Wedding bells?” Someone called.
“Oh, good question. I guess we maybe should, given my current status.”
“The cat is out of the bag,” I massaged my temples. “Leah, stop talking.”
“I probably should mention that we’re having a baby—two in fact. Sorry, dads. They didn’t know. Also, Mel, apologies. I didn’t say anything. Lou, you look like you’re about to murder me, but I’m sorry.”
“So no wedding?” A reporter demanded.
Leah shrugged, “If Lou would have me, I would.”
“Oh, Leah, darling,” I groaned.
“Someone needs to put her on a leash,” Mel, her agent whispered, as if I could ever keep the woman on a leash.
“That’s just Leah,” I admitted. “She’s only Leah.”
And it was. It was Leah sharing the happiest moments of her life with the world because she refused to hold back. That was Leah—the woman I fell for years before. Leah Roughy would always make me smile even when she also made me want to tear my hair out.
“And how will this go over?” Mel chuckled.
“Uh… like a brick. Tomorrow. Tonight, I am just going to appreciate her. She’s a star.”
For the night, she’d be the star. I’d hang back as the groupie.
She prioritized my career so I could return to London even when she was pregnant, miserable, and on her own journey.
The least I could do was just roll with the punches.
And in the end, if the worst thing that happened tonight was Leah said too much, too soon because she was happy, well I could live with that.