23. You’re Eating My Child
TWENTY-THREE
YOU’RE EATING MY CHILD
Trey
I motion for Rylee to enter the exam room ahead of me. She takes a seat along the left wall, and I sit down next to her. Rylee kept her word and as soon as she had an appointment scheduled, she called me. It was the most nerve wracking twenty-four hours of my life. I’ve been in this situation once before, but never made it to the doctor’s office. In all fairness, neither did she.
“The doctor will be with you in just a few minutes.” The nurse closes the door with a soft click.
My leg bounces on the ball of my foot as I glance around the small room. The pungent smell of cloves wafts around me, reminding me of the dentist's office. Sterile.
I jump to my feet, wandering from one side of the room to the other, examining all the pregnancy anatomy models. I stop in front of a baby anatomy poster. The last time I had to look at this stuff was during sex education in grade school.
“Is everything all right?” Rylee asks.
I tilt my head, trying to figure out how the baby fits out of the vagina. “Yeah. Just nervous energy.” I squint.
“That’s understandable. I feel it too.”
I move on from the poster and continue to wander around the room, poking and prodding at the different displays. In front of me is a poster that shows the growth progression of a fetus but uses food as an example. Now this is something I understand. “What do you think our kid is? A blueberry? Or a kumquat?” I turn and point at the poster.
“I’m pretty sure we’re past the blueberry stage.”
“I want to go with kumquat.”
“You just like saying the word.”
“I kind of do. Kumquat.” I move on from the food because it’s making me hungry and thoughts of eating foods that could be the size of my child doesn’t sit well. I stumble upon a model showing two fetuses. Shit. “What if we have twins?” Fuck. If there’s two babies, I don’t know what I’d do. I’m not prepared for one baby. I don’t think I can handle two.
“The chances of two babies are very unlikely, but there’s still a chance. I mean you got me pregnant while I’m on birth control. Do twins run in your family?”
I pause to think. “No.”
“Me either. So, I don’t think we need to jump to that conclusion right this second.”
“What if there’s three or five or six?”
“Now the statistics are becoming drastically lower.”
“I’m a man of chance. Good chance if it were to happen, it would happen to me.”
“Trey. Come sit down. You’re making yourself nervous and, in turn, making me nervous.” She pats the cushion next to her. In two long strides, I’m lowering myself to the chair. Her fingers intertwine with mine. “Let’s do this one step at a time. When the doctor comes in, we’ll get all the answers.”
My leg bounces as Rylee does her best to ease my nerves. The last three months of my life has been a freefall off a cliff. It’s been thrilling and frightening at the same time. With Rylee by my side, I feel like I can pull the parachute cord and soar to the ground with ease. Maybe. A couple of restless minutes later, a middle-aged woman with dark hair and a white lab coat comes in and introduces herself as Doctor Lisa Dobb, OB-GYN. They run a blood test and confirm that Rylee is, in fact, pregnant.
“Do you know how far along you might be?” Doctor Dobb asks.
I tap my chin. “Oh man. There’s so many. How do I choose?”
“You don’t just pick one,” Rylee adds.
“It could have been the time after our first date. Or when I bent you over my desk in my office. Or in the backseat…” Rylee slaps her hand over my mouth, but I keep mumbling behind it.
“Honestly, I just found out I was pregnant a couple of days ago, but I’m also on birth control. My period has always been a little irregular and spotty,” Rylee says.
Doctor Dobbs nods and makes notes on her clipboard. “As we know, birth control isn’t always one-hundred percent effective. We’ll also have to take you off your birth control.”
“I have some pretty determined swimmers.” I sit up straighter and puff out my chest.
“What is the timeframe when you first started having intercourse?” Doctor Dobbs asks.
“The first time was about three months ago,” Rylee says.
“Oh. Shit.” My eyes nearly pop out of their sockets.
“What’s wrong?” Concern is etched all over Rylee’s face.
I run my hand over the two-day stubble on my chin. “The condom. That bachelor party was like two years ago.”
Her head jerks back. “You didn’t think it could have been expired?”
I shrug. “Your boobs were in my face. I wasn’t really thinking about the date on the condom. But either way, your birth control should have been the backup. This is your fault.”
“My fault? You’re the one with the two-year-old condom.”
“You said you were on birth control.”
“I am. And apparently it failed.”
My gaze shoots to the doctor. “So, this is your fault.”
Her lips twitch with a smile. “I only insert the birth control. I hold no guarantees on its effectiveness.”
“Alright. This is no one's fault. It just happened. So, let’s move on,” Rylee says, always the voice of reason.
“Will we be using these today?” I swing one side of the stirrup out.
“No. Not today,” Doctor Dobbs says.
“With your legs up in these, is this what childbirth looks like?” I glance up to Rylee.
She eyes the stirrup and then me. “It can, but also add in some extra screaming. Didn’t you watch the birthing video in seventh grade?”
“Nah. I skipped that day. As soon as I heard what day it was, I noped right out. They weren’t going to ruin sex for me at a young age.”
Rylee rolls her eyes. “You were not having sex at that age.”
“True. But I also wasn’t going to let it traumatize me, either. Like Scott from my class. One day after school, National Geographic was on the television, and they showed a rhino giving birth. I’ve never actually seen anyone rock in a corner until him. I wonder how he’s doing?” I rub his chin. “Is that what I can expect?”
Rylee’s eyebrows shoot to her hairline. “A rhino giving birth?”
“Yeah.”
She narrows her gaze at me, nostrils flaring. “I want you to think long and hard about that.”
My gaze flits to Doctor Dobbs, and she vigorously shakes her head. I turn to Rylee and mimic the doctor.
“How about we get you prepped for a transabdominal ultrasound, then we'll have a better understanding of how far along you are,” Doctor Dobbs says.
Rylee lays down on the blue vinyl bed. She lifts the hem over her still relatively flat stomach. The doctor squirts some gel on her stomach and her muscles twitch for a second before relaxing. “Oh, that’s cold.” Her body shivers and I grab her hand.
The doctor turns the machine on and moves a wand over Rylee’s stomach. A grainy image comes into view on the screen. A whooshing sound fills the room. I don’t know if it’s my hand or Rylee’s that’s gone clammy. Maybe both.
“Holy shit. We made that.” My gaze flits from the screen to Rylee.
A soft smile forms on her lips. “We did.”
Fuck. I’m going to be a dad. I can’t tear my gaze off the small black and white screen. Not in a million years, or at least the last ten years, did I think this would happen. Especially with Rylee. I can’t imagine having a baby with anyone else. With my fingers clasped around hers, I lift her hand, placing a kiss on the back. We both stare intently at the screen. The fetus moves along with a black blob.
“Oh damn! Is that his penis? Are we having a boy?” I drop Rylee’s hand and inch closer to the screen.
“Actually, I think that’s an arm.” Humor laces Doctor Dobb’s voice. “It looks like you’re about twelve weeks along, so it’s a little early to find out the gender. More likely at your next appointment. I’ll print you a picture to take home,” she says. After the click of a button, she exits the room to collect the picture.
Both of us continue to stare at the black and white screen. “That’s our little plum.”
“It is.”
“I’m a little disappointed it’s not a kumquat.”
She smiles and shakes her head.
“Do you think if I put the gel on my stomach, we’ll be able to see the burrito I ate for lunch?”
Her smile dissipates.
“It’s a valid question.” I rub my stomach, feeling around for the burrito.
“No. It’s not.”
“Would it be weird if I asked the doctor if we can try?”
“Yes, I do.”
“I’m going to ask her.”
She narrows her gaze at me and gives me the motherly scold. “If you ask her, so help me god, we’ll no longer play Treyfleupagus Goes Muff Diving.”
My smile dissolves. “But that’s my favorite game.”
* * *
Later that evening, I’m sitting at a restaurant with Miles and Bennett. While me and Miles were finishing drone footage for a massive six-bedroom house, Bennett texted me. I told him to meet us for dinner once we were done.
I push the risotto around on my plate. The ultrasound appointment earlier today still hasn’t completely hit me. I’m going to be a dad. I’m going to be responsible for the wellbeing of a tiny human.
I glance at Miles’ plate. “You’re eating my child.”
Miles slowly pulls the fork from his mouth and raises a questioning eyebrow.
“You’re eating my child,” I repeat.
He spits his food out into a napkin. “What are you talking about?”
“Your duck with plum sauce. The plum. It’s the size of my unborn kid.”
“Wait. Rylee? Rylee‘s pregnant?”
Bennett’s fork falls to his plate with a clatter.
All I can do is nod.
“Congratulations! That’s super exciting,” Miles’ tone would be infectious to any other person, but I’m still trying to process the situation.
I keep my gaze on my still full plate of food.
Bennett chuckles. “Holy shit. Seth is going to get a kick out of this.”
“Thanks asshole.” I frown. “This is all your fault. You all had to go out and fucking find love and shit. Then you had to be so goddamn happy. And now you’re making me question the last ten years of my single life.”
Bennett rests his elbows on the table. “Shit is scary. Every day I thank god that Charlie’s in my life. That she hasn’t left me because she can do better. Every morning, I make sure she knows my world is nothing without her.” He lifts one shoulder and lets it drop while his lips tip up into a smile. “That helps reinforce the never leave me part. But you can’t let the fear dictate your life. It’s more than falling in love. It’s finding your soulmate. Someone you can’t live without. That’s worth more than all the fear in the world.”
I scrub my hands down my face.
Miles nods along with everything Bennett says. “That was really beautiful.”
I roll my eyes. “Charlie has the rose-colored glasses shoved on his face.”
Bennett barks out a laugh. “We waited a long time for cupid to bitch slap his arrow across your face. I guess he used two since you’re also having a kid.”
I shove my plate away, not even hungry in the slightest. “I don’t know how to feel right now.” I blow out a breath. “Yes, I’m excited. Yes, I’m scared shitless.”
“Well, given your history...” Miles shrugs a shoulder. “She’s being honest?”
I pull out the ultrasound picture and slide it across the table. “The doctor handed it to me herself.” All three of us stare at the picture. “I also asked her to marry me.”
Bennett laughs and shakes his head. Miles coughs and sputters on a bite of food. I prepare myself to give him the Heimlich, which I’ve done once before. Granted, it was to my neighbor’s dog, but tomayto, tomahto.
Once Miles regains his composure, he asks, “You’re getting married?”
“Well, I asked. But she killed that idea faster than a knife fight in a phone booth.” I motion my hand in a jabbing motion, then flop it onto the table with a smack.
“Do you want to get married?” Miles asks.
I shrug. “Eventually. Rylee has flipped my world upside down. Every day she makes me want to be a better man and no one’s ever done that to me. And I absolutely adore Abby.” Then she questioned if I loved her. The words were on the tip of my tongue, ready for me to spit them out but I couldn’t. Even though I put it in writing, I couldn’t get the words out. Not yet anyway, but I will. I’ve never been one to give up.
Miles takes a drink of his water and sets it down. “Are you prepared to be a stepdad as well? Things like that can be rocky terrain.”
Ah. Fuck. The thought never even occurred to me. Not only will I be a dad, but also possibly a stepdad. I’ll have to navigate that if and when the time comes. “I’ve always been one to face a challenge head on. Whatever is thrown at me, I’m ready to face it full force, so yeah, whatever I have to do, I’m ready for it. All of it. Plus, Rylee will be there to keep me in check. She’s good like that.” All my nerve endings tingle from imagining a future with her.
“Congratulations. I never expected the day our fearless SBL leader would ditch the single life,” Miles says.
I run both hands through my hair. “If I’m being honest, I never expected it either, but here we are.”
“You’ll be a great dad. In your own special Trey way, but I’ve known you for years and I know you’ll give that kid every piece of you,” Bennett says.
His words reassure me a little. If someone else can have faith in me, maybe I should have a little faith in myself.
“What will the plans be for SBL? I kind of look forward to hanging out with the guys every week.” Miles gives me a weak smile.
I can’t imagine giving up the weekly meeting. “We might have to change it up a bit. We’ll see. But speaking of dates and ladies, how’s everything going with the librarian?”
“She basically dumped me without dumping me. She’s never returned any of my calls or text messages.”
“I’m sorry. We’ll hook you up with someone else. Maybe Rylee has a friend she can set you up with.”
“I don’t know. Maybe dating isn’t for me.” A somber expression covers Miles’ face.
“You can’t spend the rest of your life without dating or companionship. Believe me. I tried it. Now I’m having a kid.” Holy shit. I’m having a kid.
After dinner, the three of us go our separate ways. While walking to my SUV, I pass a small bookstore and pause. Might as well acquaint myself with all this baby and parenting stuff. I pull open the door to find some new reading material.