30. You’re My Favorite
THIRTY
YOU’RE MY FAVORITE
Rylee
I snuggle deeper into the bed of blankets Trey set up earlier on the deck of our cabin. The moon rises gracefully over the lazy rolling waves of the lake, casting a shimmering reflection on the water’s surface. Shades of deep orange, soft pinks, and hues of purple paint the sky as stars fight to push through the darkening horizon.
The sliding door opens and Trey steps out, a mug of hot cocoa in his hand. When he’s within arm’s reach, he passes me the steaming cup. I wrap both hands around it, inhaling the chocolatey goodness before taking a sip.
“Thank you.” I glance up at Trey. “This is perfect. Well, almost perfect.” I place the mug on the Adirondack side table next to me. My fingers grip the corner of the blanket and lift. A shiver runs over my body. Trey kneels on the makeshift blanket bed, accepting my invitation. The cool air is replaced by his warmth. He wraps an arm around me, tugging me to his side. His thumb lazily brushes over my shoulder.
Goosebumps spread across my arms for an entirely different reason. I never grew up with dreams of what I wanted my life to be. If I’d told myself I’d be sitting under a blanket on a deck overlooking Lake Superior with a guy who I’m only having a baby with, I would’ve laughed. Especially when I already have a daughter with another man. Oddly enough, there isn’t anywhere else I would want to be.
“Oh.” I hold my breath, waiting to see if it happens again.
“What’s wrong? Everything alright?”
My lips curl into a smile. I grab his hand and shove it under the blanket.
“Oh!” His eyebrows quirk up as a devilishly sexy smirk crosses his lips. “We’re doing this out here?”
“No.” I laugh. “Our acorn is moving.”
“Oh! Well, that’s equally exciting!”
I position his hand on my belly where the baby moved, but after a few seconds of nothing happening, Trey’s face falls.
“I’m sorry. This won’t be the only time.” I drop my hand from his, but he keeps his positioned on my belly.
He pushes the blanket away with his elbow, and it falls to my lap. Scooting down so his head is next to my belly. “Hey acorn. This is your father,” he says in his best Darth Vader voice. “So, you might be too young for that, but I promise we’ll have a Star Wars marathon when you’re older. I’ve been reading a library’s worth of how not to screw up your kids’ life books. That’s not actually the title, but that’s the gist of it. Anyway, I’m supposed to talk to you, so you hear my voice. But don’t listen while me and your mom are getting it on. Just… earmuffs.”
My belly bounces as I’m unable to contain my laughter any longer. I wrap my arm around Trey’s shoulders, my fingers playing with the short hairs on the back of his head. My heart swells for this man. Our baby. Everything that’s happening at this moment. If I wasn’t already pregnant, I would tell him to put one in me. Right now. Instead, I’m basking in the special moment he’s having with our baby. This is what it should have been like the first time. Not me in a house—not a home, because living with Kyle didn’t give home vibes—waiting for him to walk through the front door. And when he finally did, pretending he didn’t smell like some other woman’s cheap perfume because I was too scared to be alone.
Trey’s cooing at my belly pulls me back to the present.
“After many failed attempts at getting your mommy to go out on a date with me, she finally agreed to let me walk her to her car. Once we were alone, she was unable to resist Daddy’s charm. She seduced me into getting into the backseat of Daddy’s SUV and had her wicked way with me. And that’s the night you were conceived.” He glances up at me. “Did I get that right?”
I giggle. “Something like that. But also, we are never telling our child the actual story.”
A playful grin covers his face before he whispers to my belly, “Mommy’s no fun.”
A fluttering sensation takes flight on the right side of my stomach. Trey’s shoulders tense.
“Do you feel that?” I whisper.
Trey glances up at me, hand still splayed over my stomach. “I do.” Then he stretches, placing a kiss on my lips. “I think our little acorn wants to know more about conception night.”
For the next fifteen minutes, Trey continues talking to my belly about each time Daddy convinced Mommy to go on a date with him. “I think our acorn had enough of me talking.” He sits up, yanking at the edge of the blanket, covering us again.
Over the lake, the moon rises higher as the last of the daylight disappears into the inky darkness. Crickets break the silence as their chirps sound around us. I fiddle with a loose thread on the blanket, working up the courage to ask Trey about his past, since he has yet to offer anything willingly.
“So, what happened?” My heart thunders in my chest, preparing myself for his answer. “Why don’t you do relationships? And why didn’t you want kids?”
Trey exhales a deep breath. “Well, it started when a teeny tiny egg started floating down. All the sperm just zipped by while I chill—”
“Really?” I playfully backhand his stomach.
“Okay. Fine.” He softly laughs. “I was doing what a sperm does and shot straight into the egg.”
I scrunch my nose and glare at him.
“Alright. Alright. Fast forward six years. I’m a strapping young lad minding my business on the schoolyard playground, and Quinn Anderson pulls me under the slide and tells me to kiss her.”
“And you did?”
“Of course! It was Quinn Anderson. Plus, she shared her cookie with me.” He shrugs.
“Oh God. Please tell me cookie is actually a cookie and not cookie…” I motion my hand over my crotch.
“I was five years old. Who do you think I am? Of course, it was a cookie. They were the best peanut butter M&M cookies I’ve ever had.” Trey stares wistfully off into the distance.
“So that’s it?”
Trey shakes his head and narrows his eyes at me. “No. Because what really broke my heart was less than five minutes later, I caught her kissing Travis McNeil next to the merry-go-round.”
I raise an eyebrow. “I’m sorry Quinn broke your heart. But that was a long time ago and I think it’s best if you move on. I’m going to give you five seconds to grieve your loss, then I’m going to tell you to get over it. Nicely of course. One. Two. Three.”
He sits up straighter, resting against the side of the cabin. “I’ll have you know, I didn’t kiss another girl until I turned ten.”
I rest my hand on his and squeeze. “You poor thing. But again, maybe it’s time to move on.”
Trey stares up past the trees and into the black sky. The breeze rolls through, rustling the leaves. Unsure if the conversation is over or not, I sit patiently, but then Trey breaks the silence.
“During my senior year of college, I started dating a girl. Everything was perfect between us, or that’s what it seemed. After graduation, I immediately got hired at The Blue Stone Group, which is pretty impressive right out of college. The money flowed in.” He blows out a breath. “Looking back now, that’s the moment our relationship flipped from good to red flags. At first, I’d find a few of her things at my place, which wasn’t an issue until more and more stuff accumulated. Out of nowhere, she began demanding to know where I was, what I was doing, and who I was with. It got to be too much. When I went to break it off with her, she said she was pregnant.”
My heart stops. This must be the woman who lied about being pregnant. I brush my thumb over his hand, encouraging him to continue.
“I was excited. Nervous. Scared. The entire spectrum of emotions ran through me. Between repaying my student loans, I now had a baby to care for. During that time, she told me everything she needed for her and the baby. As each day passed, she continuously asked for more and more. Eventually she asked me to keep the receipts and then told me to only shop at certain stores. She was constantly in my ear, telling me a good dad would do this or buy her that. If I couldn’t take care of her, I’d never be able to care for our child. When I didn’t buy her something she asked for, she’d tell me how terrible of a parent I’d be.”
“That is horrible.” My heart shatters for Trey. No one should have to endure that kind of manipulation. I squeeze the top of his hand, offering whatever comfort I can.
“Unfortunately, that’s not all.” He glances down as he flips his hand so our palms touch. With slow movements, he runs his fingers up and down mine. “A couple of times she’d come home with ultrasound photos. When I asked her why she didn’t tell me so I could go, she claimed she forgot, or she had to reschedule last minute, and she didn’t want to bother me at work. By the time it got to when you’d expect someone to show, she never did. She said the doctor told her that can happen and it’s nothing to worry about. I had no reason not to believe her. Then I hit a wall. I was mentally and physically exhausted from everything. Since I couldn’t afford everything myself anymore, I went to my parents about it, and they knocked some sense into me. They demanded that I go to the next doctor appointment because they believed she was lying. When I confronted her about it, she accused me of not believing her and not wanting to take care of her or the baby. That I was selfish. She said a lot of hurtful things. Again, my parents stepped in, threatening legal action if she was not pregnant like she claimed. The threat of a lawsuit must have spooked her because after that she came clean. She lied about everything, then left town.”
My jaw falls open. “Oh my god, Trey. That’s terrible.” I rest my head on his shoulder. “I’m so sorry you had to go through that.”
He nods. “It’s been years since I’ve talked about it. Mostly because I’ve never had to bring it up. I locked it up deep inside and never wanted to let it escape. She ruined the experience for me. After that, it was easier to convince myself that I never wanted kids.”
He wraps one arm around my shoulder, tugging me to his chest, and rests his other hand on my belly. “But with you, everything feels different. From the first time we had an actual conversation at Porter’s.”
“When you tried to save me from the guy hitting on me?”
“I knew you could hold your own. I was there for moral support.”
I giggle and snuggle deeper into his chest.
“Since that moment, there was something that made me want to get to know you more. You’re strong and feisty. You don’t take shit from anyone, including me. That’s what I love about you.”
Every muscle in my body goes rigid. Holy shit. Did he just say what I think he said? He loves me. Everything in me wants to say those three words back. They’re only a breath away, but I can’t. He notices my stiffness and squeezes me tighter as if he’s afraid I might get up and walk away. But I have no intention of leaving.
“I love you, Rylee and I’m ready to take this next step in our lives. I’ve loved you since that night at Porter’s and then I loved you more every time you turned me down. But I loved you the hardest when you told me we were having a baby. And I will love you every single day from here on out.”
Tears prick my eyes. “I can’t compete with that speech.” I reach up and cup his cheek. The short stubble tickles my fingertips as I haul him down to me, pressing my lips to his. It’s soft and gentle and I pray he doesn’t hate me for what I’m about to say. “I care about you. A lot. So don’t take my lack of saying those three words to mean otherwise, but I just can’t. Not right now.”
A hint of disappointment flashes over his face, but he quickly recovers, giving me a half-smile. “I understand. Are we still doing the exclusive friends thing?”
“It’s better that way.”
“Maybe friends who live together?”
“How about one thing at a time? This baby being the first one.”
“Okay. Baby steps.” A smile flirts on his lips. “Get it. Baby. Steps.” He rests his large palm on my belly.
I shake my head but can’t help but share in his playfulness with a smile of my own.
“I can wait. You’re worth waiting for.” He presses his lips to mine. “Honestly, I’m glad you turned me down so many times.”
I peer up at him, head tilted. “Why’s that?”
“It made me work for it and then it made the reward that much sweeter. Not to say you’re a trophy to be won.” He rubs the back of his neck. “I’m fucking this up, aren’t I?”
I cup his cheek, forcing his gaze to meet mine. “Not at all.”
Love and adoration shine behind his steely gray irises. “Not to sound like an asshole, but if you didn’t keep your distance, it would have been a one and done situation. That’s what I always did. You gave me a challenge. It made me a better man. You make me a better man.”
A tear rolls down my cheek and he wipes it away with his thumb.
“Shit. I didn’t want to make you cry.”
I laugh through my blurry vision. “Happy tears.” It’s on the tip of my tongue to tell this amazing man that I love him. The words are right there, but I can’t spit them out. Three words. It shouldn’t be this hard. All I can do is pray that he’ll be patient enough to wait until I’m ready.
I caress his cheek. “You’re an amazing man, Trey Alexander Wilson. And you’re going to make an even more amazing father. You’re my favorite.” I rise and press my lips to his in a soft, lingering kiss, hoping he feels everything that I want to tell him but can’t.
He pulls away. Lips centimeters away from mine. “Is that your version of the three word phrase?”
I contemplate his words. It is three words and to me the meaning is the same. A smile flirts on my lips. “I guess it is.”
“I can live with that.” He kisses the tip of my nose. “What do you say, want to go to bed?”
I nod. Trey stands and holds out his hand to help me to my feet. While I push the sliding door open, he collects the blankets. Once inside, he deposits them on the couch. I climb the stairs to the loft and Trey’s right behind me. As I change into my pajamas, I notice Trey stripping out of his. I can’t help but drool over the way his muscles move and flex as he removes his shirt. After brushing my teeth and splashing some cold water on my face, I fold the corner of the blanket down and crawl under the covers. Shortly after, Trey joins me and turns off the lamp. He rolls away from me and wiggles his butt against my hip. I roll my eyes but can’t help but laugh. That’s my cue. I throw my arm over his waist and snuggle into his back.
* * *
The next morning, I wake up to Trey snuggling me, his semi-hard cock poking me in the ass. This is what always happens. Sometime during the night, we swap positions. He stirs awake and nuzzles my neck with his nose.
“This is my favorite part of the day. Waking up next to you. Especially lazy mornings like this.” His hand runs over the swell of my belly. “I figured out why we are meant to be together.”
I wiggle my ass against his cock, and he groans. “Do tell.”
“My favorite beer is a Rye IPA. Your name is Rylee or Rye. Two of my favorite things.”
“That’s very serendipitous.”
His hand skates down to the apex of my thighs and my breath hitches. “You know what else is serendipitous? How wet I bet you are right now.”
“That’s not how it works.”
“It will be a happy discovery.” His fingers slip under the elastic waistband of my sleep shorts. “Bend your knee,” he whispers against the shell of my ear. When I do as I’m told, the pad of his finger runs along my slit.
I exhale a breathy moan from the contact. His finger trails down and back up before rubbing a circle around my clit. “Mmm. I definitely love lazy mornings.” I rock my hips, needing more contact. His finger teases at my entrance before plunging in. I inhale a sharp breath and exhale a moan.
“So, fucking wet for me. I think I’m going to eat my breakfast, then you can have yours.”
I roll over while Trey collects pillows to create a back rest. My phone buzzes on the nightstand. Glancing over, Parisa flashes on the screen.
“Ignore it. You can call them back after breakfast.”
“I can’t. It’s Parisa.” The phone buzzes again and I reach over to grab it. I press the green talk button. “Hi Parisa.” As she talks on the other end, my heart plummets. “Okay. We’ll leave right now.” I hang up the phone.
Trey’s mop of dark hair peeks up from between my legs. “What’s wrong?”
“There was an accident. It’s Abby.”