Chapter 1
Chapter One
SALIZAR
Thirty-five years of marriage, five children, three grandchildren now as of last month, when Phillip and Jesse had their second, and the most exciting thing Nick could say to me when he called me at the end of my break at the Barrington Christmas Market was, “Whatever you do, don’t forget to bring home some of those amazing cakes Crispin Merriweather from Sweet Dreams are Made of Yeast makes for dessert tonight. ”
Not even a “Hi, Sweetie, how’s your day going?” or a “Have I told you how sexy you look with that beard you grew for the Santa gig?” Just a pedestrian cake order.
“Sure,” I said, glancing around to make certain none of the kiddos exploring the market with their parents or grandparents noticed Santa talking on his phone.
“The chocolate ones with raspberry filling,” Nick said, then gasped like he was one of the kids and said, “Or, no, the white chocolate and strawberry cakes we had last year.”
“Mmm hmm,” I said, raising a hand to wave to Micah Lawson, the alpha who had played Santa for the last few years, but who had gotten a promotion to market manager this year.
“Oh! And I wouldn’t say no to some of the cranberry orange muffins they make either,” Nick rambled on, far more excited about baked goods than he needed to be. “Or those donuts. Crispin’s omega, Bailey, makes the most amazing donuts.”
“I’ve got it, Nick, I promise,” I snapped.
I probably shouldn’t have done that. I probably shouldn’t have been grumpy that my beloved omega mate was more excited about cake than he’d been about me lately.
“I’m just trying to make sure we have some sweet treats for the holidays,” Nick said tightly. “That’s the least I can do, since I’ve fallen short in so many ways lately.”
I winced and rubbed a hand over my face.
I could feel my mate’s annoyance with me even over the phone.
All because I’d been stupid and made a dumb comment about how I wished we would spend more time together the other day.
You know, time together. Horizontally. I mean, just because we were both in our fifties now didn’t mean I didn’t have a libido anymore.
Nick had one, too. And I’d never said it was his fault we hadn’t been…
snugglier lately, but it was clear that saying those thoughts out loud had crossed a line.
“Sal, are you listening to me?” Nick said in that tone he had sometimes.
“Absolutely. White chocolate raspberry—”
“Strawberry.”
“Strawberry, and muffins and donuts.”
“Only if you have time on your way home.”
Nick was annoyed with me, but there was something else there, some other bubbling, stirring emotion that I couldn’t put my finger on.
I’d delve more into it when we were together again.
We’d been bonded for so long that I could almost read my omega’s thoughts, but that ability pulled thin when we were apart.
And we’d been apart more than usual this holiday season.
Not intentionally, mind you. We usually spent all of our time together, since we were the co-founders and owners of Barrington’s most exclusive emergency heat support service, Bangers & Mash.
The company was named after us, Salizar Banger and Nicholas Mash.
We were dedicated to the mission of our company, to aid and assist single omegas in heat distress by providing them with trained and vetted Emergency Support Alphas, or ESAs, on call to take them through their heats, worry and drama free.
In the last few years, we’d expanded into research and development of various drugs and systems that could allow for omegas married to betas to go through heat in a physically satisfying way without bringing a strange alpha into an existing relationship.
Our most successful product to date, though, was the Heat Lightning pill.
Heat Lightning was originally intended as a heat stimulant for omegas suffering from various heat deficiency syndromes or a lack of libido.
It was great for that, but these days, over seventy-five percent of our Heat Lightning sales were as stimulants to bring on mini heats with ordinary, healthy omegas, heats that only lasted two or three waves, for recreational purposes.
Apparently, the drug was incredibly successful at doing just that. One of our biggest distributors was a company that specialized in kink and fetish supplies.
“You’ve stopped listening to me again.” Nick’s slightly shrill voice dragged me out of my wandering thoughts and back to the conversation.
“Hmm? Yes,” I said, covering for my lack of concentration. “Chocolate orange donuts and…and some kind of muffins.”
Nick sighed. “Christmas is in three days, Sal. The least you could do is give me the gift of listening to me when I talk.”
“I always listen to you when you talk,” I said, even though it was more an aspiration than truth.
The omega Christmas-elf assistant helping herd the kids who had come to see Santa looked at me and tapped his watch, signaling that my break was over.
“Just bring home whatever you like to eat,” Nick said, sounding disappointed. “And don’t be late tonight. I know those kids want their Santa, but I have something special planned for supper tonight. Thus the cake.”
“Okay. I’ve got it,” I said. Nick made a sound like he wasn’t so sure of that. “Honey, I’ve got an elf tapping his watch at me and a line of restless kids waiting to tell Santa what they want for Christmas. I promise I’ll bring you cake later, but I have to go.”
“Yes, we can’t leave all the people who want to sit on your lap waiting,” Nick said.
His comment hit me sideways. I couldn’t tell what he meant by it.
True, Nick wasn’t a spring chicken anymore.
At fifty-one, he’d had his last heat over five years ago.
He was managing his omegapause symptoms better than most. Most of the time.
He had to know that just because, as an alpha, I was still able to go into rut with a fertile omega, that didn’t mean that I ever had or over would want any omega other than him.
I knew that was what his earlier comment was truly about, though.
He wasn’t angry with me, he was frustrated with himself.
“I can try to leave a little early tonight,” I told him in a softer voice, hating the thought of my omega being upset about anything. “I’ll bring cake and muffins and donuts, and maybe we can go out for a nice supper tonight.”
“No, no,” Nick said quickly. “I’ve already got plans to, uh, cook tonight.” His words were a little punchy, which made me think he was still upset with me somehow. “Don’t leave those kids waiting.”
“Um, alright, I won’t,” I said. I had no idea if I was doing the right thing or screwing up somehow. “I love you, okay?”
“I love you, too, dear. Bye.”
Nick hung up quickly, and I pulled my phone away from my face and sighed. “Thirty-five years, and I still never know if I’m a good alpha or a disappointment,” I muttered.
I tucked my phone into my back pocket and checked my appearance in the mirror behind the screen separating the Santa throne area from the private nook where I’d taken Nick’s call.
I’d grown out a beard especially for this job, if it could even be called a job when I was donating my time, and with all the white that had snuck into my hair over the last few years, I made a really convincing Santa.
“You are a good husband,” I told my reflection.
I wanted to think that I was. Nick and I had been happier than most in our long marriage.
We’d met in college and fallen head over heels within weeks.
I’d been there when Nick had gone into heat unexpectedly during an all-nighter study group.
That first heat had been wild and passionate.
We’d nearly been kicked out of the college for having sex in the library, but that first wave had come on so hard and strong that there wasn’t time to dash across campus to either my dorm or Nick’s.
We laughed about it now, but we really had been reckless in our early days. It had been fun. The two of us had been horny as hell, even between Nick’s heats. The library wasn’t the only time we’d been caught going at it in places we shouldn’t have.
The trouble had started during the second heat Nick and I spent together.
Once again, the sex had been mind-blowing.
So much so that we’d shared an epic breeding orgasm.
I’d never known it was possible to feel like every cell in your body was orgasming simultaneously or that your soul could entwine with another person’s until that moment. It had been magical.
And Nick had gotten pregnant with our eldest, Stephanie.
And then he’d been expelled from Preston College.
Back then, pregnant omegas or omegas with children were barred from higher education.
In those days, the argument about whether omegas should be allowed to earn a college degree was still raging.
Nick had been devastated, mostly because he’d felt like he was letting down omegas everywhere by losing his chance to advance the whole gender.
I’d been just as upset as Nick. Not because of the baby. Stephanie was amazing and there wasn’t a single day that we didn’t love her. I’d felt guilty for ruining Nick’s chances and setting omegas everywhere back a few decades.
But that’s when we’d hatched the idea of Bangers & Mash.
Omegas were held back by their biology, but during the late nights that we spent talking about the injustices of the world, while Nick helped me study for exams he could no longer take, we conceived of the idea of a service that would get omegas through heat without the danger of pregnancy and without losing their chances to better themselves and their families.
The rest was history, really. Nick and I married before Stephanie was born, way too young, but it worked out for us in the end.
I graduated, Nick did not, but we went into business together immediately anyhow, making our dream come to fruition.
Bangers & Mash grew and became wildly popular, we had four more children, and now here we were, bonded, wealthy, dedicated to helping people, and happy.
At least, I thought we were happy.
“Are you sure you’re feeling well, Mr. Banger? I mean, Santa,” Joel, the omega serving as my elf helper for the day, asked as I wandered back to my Santa throne with a slight frown.
“I’m fine,” I said, maybe a little too gruffly. “Just a little concerned about…I’m fine.”
Joel looked uncertain but said, “Okay. Well, we’ve got a lot of boys and girls who are eager to tell Santa what they want for Christmas. Are you up for that?”
I took a deep breath, tried to clear my thoughts, put on a smile, and said, “Ho, ho, ho!” as I walked out of the rest area and greeted the line of children with open arms. “Who’s ready for Christmas?”
The children cheered and their parents looked relieved that they could finally get on with things and keep their young ones entertained.
I wouldn’t be completely relieved until I figured out what was going on with my omega.