Chapter 5
Chapter Five
MEADOW
The ride to Miles’s parents was kind of long, but gave me a lot of time to think. Allan and Jeremy took the backseat, while we’d piled up front. We’d switch on the way home.
In the passenger seat, I shifted so I could stare at Miles without turning my head. He noticed me looking at him and cleared his throat, a pink flush rising to his skin.
“You look so good,” he commented softly. The awe in his voice was ridiculously flattering, and I could feel my ego swelling just a bit. “Did you really make that?” he asked, referring to my fancy little holiday suit.
“Yes,” I said, though what I knew was his perception and the truth of the matter were just a bit different. I hadn’t pored over measurements and sketches and slaved over a sewing machine to make the suit.
As a faerie, I had access to certain fun little party tricks, like creating objects out of nothing.
The only limitations were that I couldn’t make food or water, and I couldn’t profit off any of my creations.
When Allan had offered to pay me to make him something, and I’d said I couldn’t take his money, I’d meant that literally.
I could only make things to use myself or give away.
But that was fine with me. Money was not something that had ever particularly thrilled me.
Most humans seemed to have an obsession with it, which I’d always found a bit sad.
“That’s amazing. You’re really, really talented,” Miles said. “But, uh… can I ask something?”
“Sure.” I already knew what he was going to ask.
I’d gotten just a bit cocky pulling out my magic, when I’d already told him I didn’t have anywhere to live, therefore I wouldn’t have had anywhere to store this suit.
I’d never been so brazen with a human before, but with him… I didn’t feel like I needed to hide.
His trust in me was so pure and had come so easily, but I couldn’t actually reveal to him who I really was. Still, I didn’t feel like I needed to be so careful.
“Where were you keeping that?” he wondered, exactly as I’d known he would. “You said you didn’t have anywhere to stay, right?”
“Is it okay if we talk about this later, in private?” I answered quietly, though there really was no good answer, and there wouldn’t be one later. I subtly glanced in the back to see if Allan and Jeremy were listening. Luckily, they seemed wrapped up in each other.
“Oh, yeah, okay,” he agreed. He didn’t even sound suspicious, like he should have.
But he was so incredibly smitten with me that he was willing to believe anything.
I was familiar with being on this end of things, having a guy so infatuated with me, but I wasn’t familiar with returning those feelings.
It was sweet and strange. It was dangerous to feel so close to a human, I knew, but I didn’t have it in me to pull back. What the hell was I going to do?
I decided to put all of that out of my head, at least until the party was over. I’d promised him a lovely evening, and I intended to follow through on that promise, pushy parents and all.
Just like Miles, the party was quaint and cozy and sweet. His childhood home twinkled with lights, inside and out, and cheery holiday music flowed through the house. It still hadn’t snowed yet, much to Miles’s dismay, and he complained about it loudly and with great feeling.
As I’d predicted, I ended up having a lot of fun. I loved games and socializing, and everyone at the party took to me right away. No tension, no drama, just happiness that Miles was with someone who seemed to make him very happy.
I’d never been perceived that way, as someone’s happiness.
A strange little twinge in my chest informed me that I liked it, but there was still a little bit of apprehension.
This happiness wasn’t permanent and couldn’t be.
A truly happy relationship had to be completely open, with no secrets.
And I couldn’t give that to him. Or could I?
As the party wound down and people began leaving, I hovered in the kitchen, where there were still treats lining the counter.
I had an insatiable sweet tooth, and as a magical being, I didn’t have those pesky human troubles like calories and cholesterol to worry about, so I popped another little peppermint fudge ball into my mouth.
Thanks to my slightly enhanced senses, I caught the sound of Miles’s and Pamela’s hushed voices from the next room over.
Glancing around to make sure no one was watching me, I brought out another of my useful little party tricks.
Concentrating my magic to let my image fade so no one could see me, I carefully made my way over to where they were and peeked at them from around the corner.
“Honey, he’s gorgeous,” she whispered, and he nodded, clearing his throat with a very cute and sheepish grin. “And so well-spoken.”
“Yeah, he is.”
“He seems perfect for you.”
“Um… yeah. I don’t know.”
Surprised by his answer, I slid around the corner, moving in so I could watch him more closely as they talked.
“Is something wrong?” she asked, her eyebrows drawing together in concern as she rubbed a hand over his back.
“No, not really. I should be really happy, right?” he asked, looking somewhat miserable.
“Is there a reason you’re not? You can tell me, honey. You know you can tell me anything,” she added when he didn’t answer for a few moments. “Is there something wrong with him?”
“No,” he said quickly, shaking his head. “Like you said, he’s kind of… perfect.”
“And that’s a bad thing?”
“It is for me,” he said before heaving a deep breath. “I mean, how the hell am I supposed to keep a guy like that interested? I really, really like him.”
“And he obviously likes you!” she said, shaking her head at him. “Why else would he be here?”
“I don’t know.”
“Miles, I didn’t raise you to think so lowly of yourself.” She chided him a bit, but gently. “You’re a handsome, sweet boy with a lot of love to give. If Meadow, or anyone else, can’t see that, then they’re the ones with a problem. You get that, right?”
“Yeah. I guess.” He didn’t sound remotely convinced.
I suddenly felt a great deal of guilt, though I wasn’t exactly sure why.
This person that I’d so quickly come to care for somehow believed that he wasn’t lovable.
How could that be? I knew he had negative feelings about the dating apps, but I’d assumed he blamed the idiots who’d rejected him, not himself.
A crashing sound from another room made us all jerk in surprise, though they couldn’t see me jump in the seat I’d maneuvered over to.
“Damn it,” she cursed, then sighed. “Let me go check on that,” she added before hurrying off, leaving the two of us alone.
Having a human lover wasn’t so rare for my kind. Sure, the relationships weren’t usually very serious or stable, but there had to be some, I was sure. Some faerie, somewhere, must have fallen for a human and decided to be honest about who they were. I’d be far from the first to do that.
But I didn’t want this distance between us anymore. Keeping him at arm’s length was starting to feel cumbersome, like I’d never experienced with any man before. And I couldn’t stand that he had doubts about the fact that I really wanted to be with him.
“She’s right, you know,” I piped up. He gasped, whirling around to face me, his eyes wide and shocked as he processed the realization that I was sitting on the couch behind him. Again, I’d gotten a little cocky with my magic. I was tired of hiding. From him, at least.
“Meadow!” he breathed out. “Are you… where did you come from?”
“That’s an interesting question.”
“Have you been sitting there the whole time?”
“Not the whole time,” I said before patting the spot next to me. “We need to talk.”
He cringed, his facial expression and body language instantly snapping to misery and apprehension. “No, we don’t,” he said, his gaze drifting over to some corner so he didn’t have to look in my eyes. “I already know what you’re going to say.”
“There is an infinitesimal chance that you have even the slightest clue what I want to say to you,” I corrected him, rising from the couch. His insecurities ran so deep, but I would make sure he never felt unwanted or undesirable ever again. As long as he could accept what I was.
“Meadow, I know you didn’t promise me anything, and I know I’m clingy, and—”
“Miles,” I cut him off, placing my fingertips on his lips to shush him. “I don’t think you’re clingy. Would you mind if I sleep over again tonight?” And possibly many more nights as well?
“You want to?” he asked, surprised.
“I want to very much,” I said, sliding my hands over his shoulders so I could hook my arms around his neck and tap his forehead with mine. “If you’re not tired of me yet.”
“Of course I’m not! I could never be tired of you,” he added quickly. “Is that all you wanted to talk about?”
“No, not exactly. It’s about me, actually.”
He hesitated before responding. “Something I don’t know about you?”
“I’m afraid so.”
Untangling himself from my arms, he backed up a few steps, eyeing me cautiously. “Well, what is it?”
“I think it might be better to wait until we’re in private to talk about this.”
He exhaled a large breath, his hands wringing together nervously in front of him. “Are you… with somebody else? I mean, do you have a boyfriend or something?”
“Not unless you count yourself.”
He scoffed, but blushed. “I’m not your boyfriend.”
“Well, if you don’t want to be, then fine,” I said, shrugging a shoulder and turning up my nose in an exaggerated gesture.
“I do!” he backpedaled, eyes wide. “Wait, are you messing with me?”
I felt a tiny smile perk up the corner of my mouth before I could stop it, but I shook my head. “I think maybe you should wait until we talk before you agree to that.”
“Meadow, there’s seriously nothing that would stop me from—”
“Please, Miles,” I pleaded. “I’d hate for there to be promises between us that can’t be kept.”