Chapter Eighteen
B lake leaned down to kiss her good-bye, but Katherine turned her face. His lips landed on her cheek instead. His insensitive words still rang in her ears. And even though she could excuse them away, she couldn’t help but realize she’d been making excuses for his behavior for some time now.
“Thanks for lunch.” She smiled. “I’d better get this to Mom. Maybe it will jump start her appetite.” She climbed into her car and started the engine.
Blake tapped on the window and motioned for her to roll it down.
“Yeah?” she asked.
“I’m sorry. About before. You know that, right?”
She nodded. “I know.” She sighed. “Look, I’ve got to go before Mom’s burger gets cold. I’ll talk to you later.”
“Okay.” He waved to her as she pulled out of the parking lot.
Ten minutes later, she was in the driveway. The “For Sale” sign served as a reminder of the poor housing market. As their realtor had said a few months ago, if their house had been on the market only a year ago, it would’ve been snapped up immediately. Although it was hard for Katherine to think of selling the only home she’d ever known, her mom had been adamant about going ahead and listing it. Almost as soon as she’d gotten the original diagnosis, she’d decided it was time to downsize. “I want to simplify my life,” her mother had said. And even though it was hard to digest, Katherine had gone along.
She walked up the path to the front door, clutching the bag. Hopefully the burger would do the trick.
“Katherine, is that you?” her mom called from the living room as she opened the door.
“Yep.” She walked into the room, expecting to see her mother resting on the couch. Instead, she was sitting at the desk in the corner, ruffling through some papers.
“Is everything okay?” Katherine asked, worriedly.
“From the look of those red-rimmed eyes, I think I should be asking you that.” Her mom rose from the desk and walked over to where Katherine stood in the doorway.
“Just a stupid fight with Blake.” She handed the bag from In-N-Out to her mom. “Not a big deal.”
“Honey, I hate to say this, because I like Blake. . .”she trailed off.
Katherine shot her a look.
“I do like him. I just don’t like him for you .” Her mother chuckled, then her face turned serious. “It sure seems to me that you come home upset an awful lot of the time.”
If her mother only knew that many of their fights were about her, Katherine knew how bad she’d feel. “I know.” She sighed. “To tell you the truth, I’ve been thinking about ending it with him. But I’d need a clean break, you know?”
Katherine’s mother nodded. “I know exactly what you mean, honey.”
∞∞∞
The next morning when Katherine walked into the kitchen, her mother was already seated at the table, drinking a cup of coffee and writing on a notepad.
“Good morning.” Katherine pulled a coffee cup from the cabinet.
“Morning.” Her mother didn’t look up from her notepad.
Katherine took her coffee and sat down across from her mother. “What’s going on?” she asked.
Her mother put the pen down and looked at Katherine. “I have an idea.”
“Why do I not like the sound of that?”
“I know it’s going to seem like it’s out of the blue, but it isn’t. It’s actually something I’ve been thinking a lot about since I was first learned of my condition.”
“What’s on your mind?” Katherine took a sip of coffee and tried to prepare herself for whatever was coming.
Her mother sighed. “You know how I put the house on the market when I first got sick?”
“Yeah. And Mom, I understand. I’m on board. I think a smaller place would be a good idea.”
“That wasn’t really my only reason for putting it up for sale.”
“I don’t follow.” Katherine drew her brows together. “What was your other reason?”
“Now that you know what brought me to California in the first place, I think it’s time you know the rest of the story.” Her mother ran her finger around the rim of her coffee cup. “The truth is that all these years, I haven’t been able to forgive my parents for forcing me to marry Eddie. So when I moved out here all those years ago, it was partly to punish them.” She shook her head. “I know I keep saying how I was so young and stupid then, but I want you to understand that that is really the only excuse I have. I did you a great disservice as your mother by cutting you off from the rest of your family.”
“Don’t say that. I think you did a great job.” In recent years, even before she learned about the cancer, Katherine’s mom had begun to apologize for her mothering skills. “I think I turned out remarkably well.” Katherine grinned.
Her mother laughed. “I’ll give you that. But seriously, I do regret that you don’t know your family. And even more, I regret that they don’t know you.” She sighed. “I’ve been thinking a lot, especially lately, that I might like to go back home for a while.” She glanced up at Katherine. “What would you think about that?”
Katherine raised her eyebrows. “Really? Like for a vacation?”
Her mother shook her head. “I was thinking more like long-term.” She reached across the table and patted Katherine’s hand. “But I want to talk to you about it first.”
“School hasn’t started yet. So I could stick to what I mentioned and take the semester off from classes.”
“Or you could transfer.”
Katherine considered it. She hadn’t really made any great friends at college, mainly because she’d spent all her time with Blake. But a temporary relocation would give her an easy way to get out of that relationship. She glanced at the hopeful look on her mom’s face and knew there was no way she could say no. “Can you promise me something?”
Her mother nodded. “What’s that?”
“This isn’t one of those things where you want to get your affairs in order and make peace with your loved ones kinds of things, is it? Because I’m afraid then you won’t fight as much as I want you to.” Katherine couldn’t stop her eyes from filling with tears. She couldn’t believe she’d even voiced her fears.
A weak smile stretched across her mother’s face. “I wish you wouldn’t worry so much. I do want to make peace with my loved ones, but not so I can stop fighting.” She looked at Katherine with wide eyes. “So are you onboard?”
Katherine slowly nodded. “It could be nice to start over in a new place.”
“I’m going to call the realtor. You remember that couple who was interested in the house a few weeks ago?”
“Yes.”
“I wonder if they might be inclined to purchase if we brought the price down a bit.” She rose. “Keep your fingers crossed.”
“Mom?”
Her mother stopped and turned to look back at Katherine. “Yes, honey?”
“Do they know? Your parents, I mean. Do they know you’re sick?”
“They know. And they’ve offered for us to stay with them for a while if we so choose.” Her mother plucked the phone from the receiver and walked into the living room.
Katherine sat at the table and looked out into the backyard. She couldn’t remember ever feeling so unsure about things. The constant knot of worry in her stomach had only grown in the months since her mom first got sick. In some ways, the thought of being around family was comforting. Then she wouldn’t feel like she alone was responsible for taking care of her mom. But on the other hand, there would be added stress on her mom, and Katherine wasn’t sure if she was strong enough to withstand it. There was also a worry that she wouldn’t feel at home with her grandparents. She sighed. Life was difficult sometimes.
She reached over and slid the notepad her mother had been writing on across the table. It looked like her mom had been making a pros and cons list about moving. Katherine smiled. Every major decision she could remember her mother making had included a list of the pros and cons. She glanced down over the list and her breath caught. The first word underneath both columns was her biological father’s name.