Chapter Twenty-Eight #3
Oh Jesus. He probably shouldn’t have shouted that.
Joe gaped at him, red-faced. “Um,” he said.
What the fuck? Austin repeated in his head.
“But the—the work hours? And the clothes changing? And the phone calls. And you didn’t want red wine—”
“We have a houseful of kids,” Austin pointed out, because that seemed the most pressing issue. “Sorry for wanting a little privacy in our sex life, which I absolutely will not get if you drink red wine, sweet thing.”
The endearment slipped out. It felt awkward at a moment like this, when Joe was being, frankly, kind of insane. But Austin couldn’t help it. Obviously Joe had worked himself into a frenzy. Now Austin had to talk him out of it.
Joe blinked and licked his lips. “But—okay, and last weekend you didn’t want me to, uh….”
“Fuck me into a coma at ten o’clock on Saturday morning?” Austin filled in. Because yeah, he’d stopped Joe from trying to make him come more than once. “And… what, you thought I was saving it for someone else?”
Joe averted his eyes.
For fuck’s sake. “Babe. I love how well you know my body and how good you can make me feel, but if you want to fuck me like that, you need to tell me in advance so I can clear my schedule for the rest of the day, because I’m too stupid afterward to watch TV.
Take some pity and wait until the afternoon at least.”
Joe made an embarrassed noise that he muffled in his sleeve, half turned away. His ears were bright red too. After a moment he turned back and met Austin’s gaze. “And, uh, and the changing, and the… coming home from the wrong way…?”
Austin had to tell him now. He would’ve done it weeks ago if he’d known Joe would jump to this kind of conclusion. “Sweet thing.” He held out his hands. Joe took them. “I sold the garage.”
Joe’s mouth dropped open. “What?” And then: “Why?”
He shook his head, pulling Joe closer. He wasn’t allowed to try to get away.
He wasn’t allowed to feel guilty about this.
“You were sick. Starling needed the money we owed her. I was trying to figure out what to do, if I could borrow against the house, but I think I’d need your sign-off on that ’cause we’re co-owners, and then I remembered your mom mentioned she had a client who was looking for commercial property on that section of Malden, so… .”
“My mom was in on this?” His voice cracked, and shame crept into his expression, and he tried to take a step back. Austin kept gentle hold of his elbows. “If you—where have you been going?”
“Work,” Austin said. “Uh, the dealership in town happened to be hiring. It was fate, I guess.”
Joe took a deep breath. He was taller than Austin, and broader, but right now he seemed tiny in Austin’s arms. He was better at hiding his neuroses than Austin had given him credit for too. Austin wouldn’t make that mistake again. “Why didn’t you tell me?”
Austin cupped his cheek. “I knew you’d feel like it was your fault, and I didn’t want that. And you were so determined we had to take things slowly. If you thought I sold the garage for our relationship….”
Groaning, Joe closed his eyes and leaned his head into Austin’s touch. Something inside Austin started to unwind. Joe was getting closer, not farther away. “I’ve been so stupid.”
“Hey.” He bent forward until their foreheads touched.
“No, Austin. Fuck, I’m so—if I’d just asked—”
“I could’ve told you about the garage at any time,” Austin said gently.
Joe opened his eyes only to narrow them. “Don’t let me off the hook. I’ve been such a baby.”
“You maybe should get some therapy,” Austin said lightly. “I think my fancy new insurance might cover that, actually.”
JOE LAUGHED wetly, wondering how in the world this conversation had ended up here. Austin wasn’t wrong. He probably should invest in therapy if a few presents had him freaking out this badly.
He was still processing the conversation from most to least recent, because his brain could only handle so many surprises at once, so he started with a weak attempt at a joke to divert attention from his sniffling.
“Putting me on your insurance isn’t exactly going slow, since I don’t really qualify as a dependent.
” He couldn’t bring himself to let go of Austin’s hands to wipe his eyes.
Austin shrugged. “No. Putting you down as my domestic partner on official paperwork is definitely not slow, but I’m tired of slow. I’d rather be honest about what I want.”
Honesty.
Joe didn’t want to go slow anymore either. Had they ever even really done that, or had they only lied to themselves about it? From day one Joe had known he could have feelings for Austin. He’d told himself he’d keep on his guard, but he hadn’t. He didn’t want to.
He wanted to be here, in this house, with Austin, being honest about what he wanted.
Joe’s brain processed a little farther back. What Austin wanted was Joe. Because Austin loved him. And Joe had kind of left him hanging.
“I, ah.” Austin squeezed his fingers. “I love you too.”
A smile took over Austin’s face. “Yeah?”
Joe nodded, feeling the pressure in his chest ease at the admission. “I think I have for a while, but I didn’t let myself think about it.”
“Flattering,” Austin said dryly, but he didn’t look angry. The smile didn’t even leave his lips.
“I’m sorry I’ve been kind of, uh… irrational.” He swallowed. “I know you’re not Paul. I think I just… I got in my head and assumed the worst and—”
“Sweet thing”—Joe’s breath hitched to hear that name said so tenderly—“your behavior is totally understandable.”
“Still dumb, though.”
Austin cupped his face and brushed his thumbs along Joe’s cheeks. “I’m not saying I wanna do this again, but I won’t hold one moment of temporary paranoia against you.”
“Ha, thanks.”
There was no choice but to kiss Austin then.
Austin moaned into his mouth and twined his arms around Joe, who was suddenly keenly aware of how long it had been since the last time Joe hadn’t been an anxious mess while they made love.
Suddenly he desperately wanted to go to bed and make Austin feel good in all the ways they’d talked about.
After all, it was after dinner—Austin couldn’t complain about being too useless until bed at this time of day.
Then the sound of the front door opening interrupted those thoughts.
Joe groaned and buried his face in Austin’s hair. “Why did we have kids, darling?”
Austin chuckled. “Your idea,” he reminded Joe, scritching his nails pleasantly through Joe’s hair.
“I’m attached now, though, so why don’t you plate that dessert, and then later tonight, after they’ve gone home, you can fuck me through as many orgasms as you’d like.
” He paused and then added, “Sweet thing,” whispered right in his ear, which sent delicious shivers through him.
“Right. Dessert. Then orgasms.”
AUSTIN FOLLOWED through on his promise to let Joe have his way, so Joe felt no shame about sleeping in the next morning. In fact, he felt no small amount of pride at waking to Austin’s slack face and leaving him snuggled under the covers to go make breakfast.
Thank God Will had opted to spend last night at Meg’s place. He’d originally said he was leaving to stay with Gavin, but one incredulous unhappy look from Alex put an end to that.
Since the house was gloriously free of teenagers, Joe decided to go wild and crazy and make a french toast and bacon breakfast that wouldn’t be hogged. He and Austin ate in the kitchen in their boxers, standing up, trading syrup-sticky kisses that eventually needed to be showered off.
They took a lazy walk with Pepa and played with the kittens, Joe sitting on the couch and Austin on the floor, leaning on his legs; they passed the laser pointer back and forth. Finally even Ozzy tired of the game and climbed into Austin’s lap instead.
Joe wanted to pet something too, but Walker and Dallas had abandoned them to investigate criminal insect activity in the basement. He contented himself with running his fingers through Austin’s hair.
“You’re gonna ruin my curls,” Austin complained halfheartedly, pushing his head deeper into Joe’s touch.
“I’ll wash it for you again later.”
“That’s not good for curly hair,” Austin grumbled, but he didn’t move, so Joe didn’t stop. He half felt like he could hear Austin purring.
Some combination of the sex and the breakfast and the release of tension from last night, or maybe the soft, damp warmth of Austin’s hair sliding between his fingers, made him brave. Or maybe it wasn’t bravery. Maybe it was hope. He swallowed. “Austin.”
“Mm-hmm.”
He took a fortifying breath. “I love you.”
Now Austin tilted his head back, smiling. He couldn’t reach Joe’s mouth from that angle, so he caught his wrist and pressed his lips to that. “Yeah, sweet thing. I love you too.”
Okay, Joe. Now the rest of it. “I don’t want to sell the house.”
For a second Austin froze. Then he carefully removed Ozzy from his lap and turned around, taking Joe’s hand in both of his. “Okay,” he said softly. His eyes were warm. “We won’t sell the house.” Like it was that easy.
Joe wished it were. He swallowed. “But I, uh, I can’t pay you back yet, if we don’t. Landscaping work will pick up soon, but—”
Austin rose and pressed a finger to his lips.
Joe swallowed again.
“I don’t need it,” Austin said. “I told you. It can wait.” He pursed his lips. “When you were a kid, did you ever imagine where you’d live when you grew up? What you wanted your house to look like?”
“Sure. Doesn’t everyone?”