Chapter Six #3
Finally, James looked up at him. Their gazes met. Jacob didn’t know what the expression on the boy’s face meant. “I have questions.”
Jacob shuffled closer. “About?” He didn’t want to misunderstand the situation.
“Everything!” James said as he waved the items in his hands around.
“I could.” This was a mistake and Jacob knew it. “I could try to help. To answer your questions. If you’d like.”
“I know Michael would be willing,” James told him.
Jacob had to agree.
“This isn’t something that I really want him to know about yet,” James said.
“I won’t say a word.” Jacob knew that it might be hard for James to trust. “I’d never out someone’s sexuality.”
“He knows I’m gay,” James replied. “He just doesn’t know that I’ve been thinking about playing…”
“Sexuality doesn’t only mean sexual orientation.
” Jacob hoped James didn’t consider his words a lecture.
“It’s a broad, multi-faceted term for being human.
Encompassing our sexual feelings, thoughts, attractions, behaviors, desires, identities, and relationships, involving biological, psychological, emotional, and social dimensions, including sexual orientation, who you’re drawn to, and gender identity who you are, all of which are personal and can evolve over time. ”
“I…” James shrugged. “Okay.”
“Sorry, that was a lot of information at once.” Jacob was also spouting out details that no one else wanted to know. He loved to learn but that didn’t mean that everyone else did too.
“We moved not long after we found out Michael identified as a little. He’d just started dating Finn and we hadn’t even known about Jackson until right before we left.”
“From what I’ve heard, it was a confusing time for everyone. They had issues to work through before they got together,” Jacob said.
“Yeah, then they were attacked at the club and Michael wasn’t really sharing much with us,” James supplied.
“They’ve been together over a year now,” Jacob pointed out.
“And Michael is more comfortable engaging his little side in front of us. In front of everyone, I should say. Still, not being there meant that we weren’t really a part of his world. This Christmas was the first time I really got to see it for myself. To be a part of it.”
“I bet Michael appreciated it. Being able to be his true self,” Jacob offered.
“I hope so. He left his cape here.” James held up the red cloth. “I put it on.”
Jacob smiled. He knew.
“It was fun acting like I could fly. I’d always loved the Avengers movies and—” James shrugged. “It was fun.”
“Nothing wrong with that,” Jacob assured him.
“I just found out that one of my friends at the firehouse is a Daddy,” James shared.
Jacob tried not to show a reaction. Was this why the questions? Had James found a Daddy? A Daddy that wasn’t Jacob? “That’s…good.”
James snorted. “Caught me off guard. Especially with just spending Christmas with Michael, Daddy Finn, and his Bubbie, Jackson.”
“If this friend is interested in you—”
“No!” James held up his hand and winced. “Don’t even go there. Josh is just a friend. He’s not…I don’t see him like that.”
Jacob hated how much that relieved him.
“But he is another person that is in the lifestyle. I mean, what are the chances?”
Now Jacob could understand this concern and knew how to answer. “Both Jesse and I find the Daddy lifestyle attractive. Both identify as Daddies. It was weird at first. We’re twins. I thought that chances were so rare that it made me question why. Eventually I came to accept it as fact.”
“Your brother recently got engaged, didn’t he? I saw that on one of the gossip shows.”
“He did. Lake is the perfect for my brother. They’ll be very happy together,” Jacob replied.
“But his partner is a little?”
“Yes,” Jacob confirmed. He wasn’t telling James anything that would embarrass Lake. When Jesse and Lake visited, James would see for himself.
“And you want a little too? Or do you have one?” James asked. “Is it okay to ask that? I don’t want to pry.”
“I don’t have a little or a boy of my own,” Jacob answered. He ignored the other questions. “I haven’t met the right person.”
“But you know how to be a Daddy?” James pressed.
“Yes. I’ve played at clubs and have dated a few men that I hoped would turn into something special.
It hasn’t worked out for me.” Jacob wasn’t someone that most boys wanted for more than a few scenes.
He was known as the brat tamer at clubs.
Jacob didn’t mind the title but he wanted something more than what he’d found so far.
“Why not?”
Damn! How did Jacob explain. “There are different types of Daddies or Doms. Just like there are different types of littles, subs, and boys. I can find someone to…play with. That’s usually not a problem.
It’s being in a relationship, making sure we’re both getting what we need, that has been an issue. ”
“I wondered,” James said softly.
Jacob closed the remaining distance between them to lean against the rail. “Wondered what?”
“I have no desire to wear diapers,” James said. “I don’t think it’s weird or wrong. Michael loves it. I just don’t think it’s something I would ever want to do.”
“Abdl isn’t for everyone,” Jacob confirmed. “It’s just one aspect of age regression.”
“What’s adbbl?”
“Abdl,” Jacob corrected gently. “Adult baby/ diaper lover. Like most things in life, regression is a spectrum. You need to find what works for you. If you want to explore, I mean.”
“So if I don’t want to wear diapers or drink out of a bottle, I might still be a little?”
“You could be a middle or an older little,” he suggested.
“I don’t know what that means.” James’s voice held frustration.
“In age regression, a lot of people come together because of their needs. A Daddy might want a little who likes being a baby and who he could bathe, give a bottle to, put in a diaper. Some littles act more like toddlers. And middles are most likely someone who regresses around preteen age. Most couple find what works for them.”
James blew out a harsh breath. “This is just giving me more questions.”
Jacob winced. That wasn’t what he was trying to do. “I’m sorry.”
“No, it’s okay. I was looking for a quick answer and I’m starting to think there isn’t one.”
“There’s not,” Jacob offered. “Does it matter if you have all the answers?”
“What do you mean?”
Jacob held his hands up. “Please don’t get upset but what I’m getting out of this conversation is that you might be interested in exploring age regression.”
James slowly nodded.
“You’re comparing yourself to Michael. Michael is a younger little. You don’t have to do things the way he does. Just because he had two partners does that mean you should as well?” Jacob explained.
“I can’t even find one guy. I can’t imagine wanting two.”
Jacob could agree with that statement.
“You also have people that you could reach out to. Michael or one of his partners. Or your friend at the fire station. However, you’d rather keep this private for now.”
“Yeah.”
This was going to be the biggest mistake of his life. Jacob knew that he was going to get his heart broken. “You could try.”
“Try?” James repeated.
“I am an experienced Daddy,” Jacob told him. “If you’d like to explore this side of yourself, I could help guide you through this journey. It would be with someone who knows what they’re doing. No pressure. No expectations.”
“You would do that?” James asked. “Why?”
“I would feel better looking after you than having you go off with a stranger. If you find out age regression isn’t for you, then no harm done. It would stay between us. If you find it is something that you do enjoy, we can go forward from there.”
James rose as he looked at him. “I… Do I have to answer right now?”
“Of course not,” Jacob assured him. “Take your time thinking it over. We can never talk about this again if you decide. The ball is in your court.”
Biting his lip, James looked away. “Okay. Okay, I’ll…think about it.”
It wasn’t the answer Jacob wanted but he wouldn’t push. “If you have any questions, please feel free to come to me. You have my number?”
“Yeah. Yeah, I do.”
Jacob backed away to allow the boy to go upstairs. “It doesn’t matter what the question is. Big or small. I’m more than willing to answer. Even if it’s just to talk things out.”
“I appreciate it,” James said. This time Jacob was rewarded with a bright smile. “I need sleep. Then I’ll see how I feel.”
“Have a good night.” Jacob turned and hurried back to his house. Being a pseudo-Daddy for James was the worst idea ever.
The boy had called to Jacob from their first meeting.
He’d wanted to Daddy James so damn bad. And now he might get the chance.
It would be hard if James became more comfortable and went out to explore on his own.
Jacob knew it would happen. It always did.
But in the meantime, Jacob had some plans to make.
Without a doubt, James was interested in exploring.
Jacob needed to be ready when the boy decided to take the chance.
It didn’t matter if it was a day. A month. Or a year.
When James came to him, Jacob would be the best Daddy that the boy could ever have. It might not end in love. But maybe Jacob could help a lost boy and keep him safe. Be a superhero of his own.