Chapter 9
Chapter 9
Joselyn
W hen Brennen proposed we experience shibari together, I couldn’t believe it. If anything can reconnect us, I’m confident that the art form I’ve come to love will. I have to admit since participating, I’ve envied the couples I see experiencing the intimacy and emotional connection provided through the ropes. Can Brennen and I achieve that? I want it more than anything.
I spent time last evening thinking about what I need and want to get out of the experience with him, and my hard and soft limits. I’m looking forward to being able to communicate with him, openly and honestly. In my mind, it’s the key to a future with the man I’ve never stopped loving.
The jingle of my phone alerts me to a text.
Brennen: Good morning. Want to meet up today?
Joselyn: Yes.
Brennen: Lunch at the Silver Willow?
Joselyn: Perfect.
I see his texting style hasn’t changed. Brief and to the point. After agreeing to meet at noon, anticipation flows through my veins. I’m hoping we’ll come to an agreement today, and if he suggests we start immediately, I want to be prepared. I look for the perfect outfit to wear, along with the undergarments I want Brennen to see when we have our first scene. I pack a bag with essentials, including what’s necessary to freshen up and change afterward. I apply some dry shampoo to my hair, which is currently styled straight, and secure it in a ponytail to keep it out of the way for now. It can easily be let down in case Brennen wants to play with hair ties, which is on my list as a favorite. I keep my makeup minimal, as I prefer a natural look anyway, and don’t want to stain or dirty the ropes.
When I arrive at the restaurant, the hostess escorts me to a secluded table in the back corner, where Brennen is already waiting. He stands to greet me and holds out a chair.
“Thank you.”
“You’re welcome. Would you like something to drink?”
“Just water for me. I want to hydrate as much as possible.”
“Same.”
I take a paper out of my purse and hand it to Brennen. “I made some notes for you. Ties that I like and don’t like. Hard and soft limits.”
He takes a moment to read through the document. “Any medical issues or physical limitations I should know about?”
“Nothing comes to mind.”
“Okay. When we’re in a scene, I’ll always check in with you frequently. But if for some reason I don’t, please speak up. Since we haven’t been together for a long time, I may miss something. Do you use the standard safe words?”
“Yes.”
“What expectations do you have for today?”
I pause, considering my words carefully. “First and foremost, I want to know you again. I want to create the foundation for open communication and trust. I want to give you the power to meet my needs and give you what you need to trust me again.”
“That’s exactly what I want, too. By giving you what you want and need, I get what I want and need in return.”
He takes my hand and caresses it. I’m already feeling more connected, even though he hasn’t taken out a single rope.
We chat about mundane things as we finish a light lunch and head out.
“I’ll drive us and we can pick up your car later.” He leads me over to a vintage Mustang convertible.
“Sure. I just need to grab my bag first.”
I slide into the passenger seat and buckle the old-fashioned seatbelt, grateful that my hair is tied back since the convertible top is down.
“This car is gorgeous!”
He grins. “Thanks. It’s been a labor of love getting her restored to all her glory.”
Fifteen minutes later, we pull up to a stately mansion. No one would ever guess from the outside what lies within. He helps me out of the car, then grabs my bag before taking my hand and leading me around to a back entrance and entering a code to unlock the door.
“Here we are. We have the place to ourselves today.”
Once inside, I look around, taking in the expansive space as Brennen gives me a quick tour.
“Ladies room is down the hall to the right. There’s a kitchen and break area with snacks and drinks, and several private play spaces. We’ll use this one.” He opens a door and turns on a dim light. “Why don’t you get comfortable and meet me back in here?”
I retreat into the ladies’ room to get ready. Since Brennen and I know each other intimately, I’m planning to have him tie me with as little clothing as possible. Rather than a swimsuit or sports bra, I’m wearing an emerald green lacy bra and panties set under my dress that makes me feel sexy. Even though today is not about sex, I want to feel desired. I want to feel .
I remove the hair tie and brush out my hair to give it a silky and slick sheen, then moisten my lips with a lip balm that has a slight shimmer. After covering up with a kimono and putting on slippers, I head across the hall.
While I was changing, Brennen prepared the room with soft lighting and Japanese music. The subtle scent of essential oils makes for a relaxing and peaceful environment. I look around and see a platform bed, various comfortable chairs and chaises, and several pieces of suspension equipment. Different types, colors, and lengths of rope are on display on a tabletop. One look at Brennen, and I’m already anticipating his touch. He’s shirtless and wearing comfortable black pants that hug his lean hips but leave room for him to move around. He commands the space with the dark scruff of his beard and vivid brown eyes, leaving no doubt he’s in charge. He absolutely is. I’m ready to surrender.
He points to the bed. “I thought we could start here; it’s probably the most comfortable place.”
I nod and approach the edge of the bed, slipping out of the kimono and footwear before sitting.
He kneels at my feet so he’s at eye level as he speaks. “I want to start slowly, letting you feel the rope first. And Jos, I have to say, you look beautiful.”
I whisper, “thank you,” as he takes a soft green rope, the same color as my lingerie, and begins caressing my skin with it. I close my eyes as the sensation of butterfly kisses flit across my shoulders, down my front, extending down my arms and legs. It feels heavenly. I sigh in contentment.
“Brennen. Tie me. Please.” I hold out my wrists to him in offering.
He begins wrapping my wrists in a handcuff tie, knotting the rope in the middle. As he knots the rope tighter, the restraint actually relaxes me, like a soft hug.
“How does that feel? Too tight?”
“No…perfect.”
He reaches out and slides a hand down my hair, gently caressing the strands. My eyes drift closed.
“Tell me what you want. Trust me to give you what you want.”
“My hair. Tie my hair. Please .”
“I’d love to play with your hair.”
He sits behind me, straddling his legs on either side of mine. I lean back, melting into him, loving the feel of his chest against my back. He laughs softly.
“Jos. Baby. I can’t work with your hair unless you sit up.”
I sit up straighter. It’s all I can do to remain upright as he threads the rope through my hair, like foreplay before tying. He then grabs the length of it in his hand and pulls it up so he can fasten the first knot. With each tightening of the rope and tying of a knot, I feel more relaxed. I’m able to let go of the worries and stresses of being accepted by the people I left behind. I zone out in a meditative state until he ties the last knot in my hair and gives my ponytail a gentle tug.
A moan escapes my lips.
“Good?”
“Good. More.”
Brennen tugs more firmly, pulling me back into his chest, restoring our skin contact. The contact with the rope is not enough. I want to be closer to him, touching him. Since my hands are bound in front of me, I can’t do that. He must be able to sense the noise in my head.
“Jos?”
“Mmm?”
“Talk to me. Tell me what you’re thinking.”
“I need to feel you. You, Brennen. Not the rope. Hold me. Bind me with your arms.”
He wraps his arms around my chest firmly but not squeezing. I feel his lips on my neck, and I turn my head slightly, silently begging him to nuzzle there. He teases with little nips, then applies soft kisses to the same spot. A warm, slow burn starts building in my sensitive area, spreading upward to my breasts. We’ve barely begun, and already I’m feeling the transition from self-care to experiencing intense pleasure and an intimate connection. It’s never been about that before.
Because it wasn’t Brennen tying me before.
I wonder if he feels the same way I do? Is this what he expected to happen today?
“Brennen?”
“Yes?”
“Do you feel me?”
“Yes, Jos. I feel you.”
“I need to see you.”
He turns my body around to face him.
“Tell me what you want, baby. It’s my responsibility to take care of you.” I raise my bound wrists to caress his face. My fingers still have the ability to move. I use them to trace his lips. I brush my fingers against his checks, relishing in the roughness of the stubble. I trace an eyebrow and look deeply into his eyes, wanting to fall into them.
“I want to watch you work. Use my body as your canvas to create a work of art. Use me to get what you need from the ropes. Trust me to give you what you need.”
He lowers his lips to mine and kisses me so tenderly, tears well up in my eyes. I don’t know what I expected for our first session, but already it’s been more than I could have dreamed of.
“Lie down and stretch out. Place your arms above your head, Legs spread. I need your entire body to work with. Relax. Let it all go. ”
I do as he asks without hesitation. I want to please him, bring him the joy that he’s bringing me.
Brennen takes a long length of rope and begins tying me, spinning a design as intricate as a spider’s web. He periodically strokes my skin and always checks each knot to make sure it’s not too tight. As he works, I watch his face and the movement of his muscles, taking pleasure in his facial expressions and the grunts and moans of satisfaction he releases as he works his craft. When he binds my breasts, framing around my bra, my nipples harden, and I shiver in satisfaction.
“Are you cold? I can adjust the temperature.”
“No, everything’s perfect.”
As my pleasure amps up, I close my eyes, unable to watch him any longer as I focus on my own feelings. My body starts to float, even though I’m lying on the bed, rather than being suspended in the air.
When Brennen finishes his design, he caresses the ropes and my bare skin as if putting the finishing touches on a painting. I open my eyes when I feel the loss of his touch. He then moves away from the bed and stands back, admiring his work. He looks like a Greek god, his torso glowing with sweat, his lean muscular frame subtly showing his strength.
“You’re beautiful, Jos. I don’t have the words to express what a vision you are. Having you here in my ropes, bound by me, is the greatest gift. Thank you.”
His praise washes over me, infusing my body with warmth.
“Are you ready to be released? I want to gradually untie you, savoring every minute.”
Not yet. I want to savor the feeling for a little longer. “Brennen? Would you take some pictures first? So I can remember this moment?”
He retrieves his phone and snaps several photos, then begins a methodical process of untying me. As he removes the ropes, he stops to rub and soothe any red spot or imprint he sees on my skin. Finally, the only bindings remaining are on my wrists and hair. Our session concludes as he glides his hand across my scalp, then slides the rope down from the top knot. When the rope is released, he fluffs out my hair and pulls it forward to frame my face. His eyes meet mine, silently commanding me to offer my bound wrists to him. He presses a kiss to each wrist before removing the ties.