Chapter Eighteen
“REMEMBER THAT GIRLFRIEND I told you about?” Doc asked as he led Juliette through the trees.
Her stomach clenched. “What girlfriend?”
“My sheltered, first and only serious girlfriend.”
Relief brought a smile. “Yes.”
“Those games I taught weren’t her only firsts in these woods. She’d never even skipped stones, so I brought her up here to the lake where I grew up dicking around with my brothers and sisters and showed her how to do it. She was the cutest thing, sinking stones, and getting so frustrated she stomped her foot.”
“It was hard ,” she said, loving that he remembered, and then decided to play along with his storytelling. “I mean, that’s what I heard.”
He laughed and pulled her into a kiss. “That was one of my favorite memories.”
When the lake came into view, she was shocked to see a red-and-white cooler on a blanket a few feet from the water’s edge, just like the night he’d surprised her when they were teenagers.
“Seeley.” She turned to look at him, and her breath caught in her throat. He was holding a bouquet of freshly picked wildflowers, also like he had that warm summer night so long ago. His dark eyes were tender and as hopeful as her heart. But it was this whole special night, and what she realized he’d done for her, that had her getting so emotional, her voice came out barely a whisper. “You re-created our first date.”
“I was , until we dove into that extracurricular activity.”
She laughed softly. “That was my fault, wasn’t it?”
“It’s us , darlin’. As real and honest as ever.” He handed her the wildflowers and kissed her. “I know I promised you wining and dining, and you look so beautiful, I’m sure you were expecting to go to a nice restaurant. But I didn’t want to sit in a room full of strangers making small talk where you’d worry about seeing one of Lucas’s friends or their parents and word getting back to him if we’re holding hands or kissing. I told him we’re having dinner together, but still.”
“You told Lucas? I thought we were keeping this between us.”
“I know, darlin’, but he heard me say I’d see you later, and when we got in the truck, he asked about it. It didn’t feel right to lie to him. Should I have?”
“How should I know? I haven’t dealt with this before.” The Seeley she’d fallen for years ago had been painfully honest, and she appreciated that he respected their son enough to be honest with him, too, but she had no idea whether Lucas would feel the same. “What did he say?”
“I asked him if it was okay, and he told me to mind my manners, which is exactly what I told him to do with Layla. I also reiterated that he needed to be ready at eleven fifteen when you pick him up or he’d never drive my truck again.”
“I don’t know if I’m more shocked or relieved that he was okay with us having dinner. But I am pleasantly surprised that you told him to mind his manners and supported me about his curfew.”
“I will always support you.” He squeezed her hand. “And let’s go with relieved about Lucas giving us the okay. I don’t want there to be anything fake in our lives. I brought you here because I wanted to get to know the real you, not some stilted version. I wanted a chance to just be us . To talk or kiss or simply sit together without worrying about who might be watching.”
She thought about how nervous she’d been when he’d picked her up tonight and how that anxiousness had fallen away when they’d come to the ranch. She didn’t know if he was right, and she’d worried that Lucas might hear about something that could upset him, but it didn’t matter. The fact that he took it into consideration meant the world to her.
“I’m glad we’re here. It’s absolutely perfect.”
“You might not think so after you see what I brought for dinner. I was nervous about leaving hot food out here for so long, so I went with sandwiches, cheese and crackers, fruit, and wine.”
“I still think it’s perfect. I love that you thought to do all of this, and I love the reasons we’re here.”
He exhaled with relief and drew her into his arms. “Good. I’m hoping when the dust settles, you and Lucas will see how good we can all be together, and we’ll have years of wining and dining ahead of us.”
“We really do suck at going slow. I can’t believe I’m saying this after only a week, but I hope so, too.”
They sat by the water eating dinner, drinking wine, and talking.
“You know Lucas and his friends are probably playing Seven Minutes in Heaven, or whatever kids play these days.” He ate a bite of his sandwich.
“I know . Don’t remind me. He’s growing up so fast, and dealing with all of this will make him grow up even faster.”
“He’ll get through it. But let’s not spend our evening worrying about what’s to come. We’ll handle whatever comes up as best and as honestly as we can. But tonight I want to know what you’ve been doing for all these years and how the hell you’re still single.” He leaned against her shoulder. “And don’t tell me you’ve been too busy to date. I might buy that when Lucas was little, but you must’ve had plenty of guys to choose from over the years. Has there been anyone special in your life?”
She swallowed the bite of sandwich she was eating. “I have been busy raising our son, and in California I also had my veterinary practice to run. But I dated here and there, and there were a couple of guys who I thought could lead to something serious.”
“Why didn’t they?”
She shrugged. “Life got in the way, or they wanted something I couldn’t give.”
“Such as?”
“One of them wanted to eventually move overseas, and I didn’t want to. I’ve always been a small-town girl. That’s where I’m most comfortable, and the idea of moving to a foreign country with Lucas wasn’t appealing to me at all.”
“I’m glad you didn’t. What about the other guys?”
“There was only one who I would have even considered getting more serious with, but he wanted more kids, and I couldn’t have them.”
“That must’ve been hard. I’ll understand if you don’t want to talk about this, but when you found out you couldn’t have kids, did you and Josh consider IVF or think about a surrogate or adopting?”
“The short answer is no. Josh wanted to father a child, which meant adoption was out, and he didn’t like the idea of a surrogate. We were so young, I didn’t even think about IVF. We never even went through any kind of testing to see why we couldn’t get pregnant. But honestly, a baby was his last-ditch effort to save our sham of a marriage. I would have given it to him if I could have, because he stepped in when I needed him for Lucas, but I wasn’t happy, and we both knew forcing the issue wasn’t the right thing to do.”
“What about the other guy? Did you love him? Couldn’t you have tried with him?”
“We weren’t there yet, and being with him would have been nice and comfortable, but it wasn’t like it is with us. I’ve never felt the spellbinding chemistry that you and I have with anyone else. You kind of ruined me for other men with that.”
He grinned. “I’m not sorry for that.”
“Neither am I, now that we’re here.”
“What about Lucas? How did he handle meeting those guys and the end of those relationships?”
“He never met them. He’d already lost Josh. I couldn’t take a chance of him getting attached. I wasn’t going to introduce him to anyone who I wasn’t one hundred percent sure I wanted in our lives.” She sipped her wine, debating asking the question that had been nagging at her. But if ever there was a time she should not hold back, it was now. “Before I fall any harder for you, I need to ask you something.”
“Anything, darlin’.”
“Are you asking about IVF and the other alternatives because you hope to have more children?”
“That wasn’t why I was asking. I wanted to understand what you’ve been through. But would I want to raise more children with you? Baby, I would happily raise a houseful of kids with you, like we dreamed about, whether they’re biologically ours or not. But that’s not a dealbreaker for me. I am incredibly lucky to have you and Lucas in my life. I don’t need anything more to be happy.” He leaned in and kissed her. “So feel free to fall harder for me. Fall at breakneck speed. Let me know if you need a push.”
She laughed. “As if I ever had a chance in hell of not falling for you?”
He kissed her again. “What other questions are swirling around in your beautiful brain?”
“Hm.” She pretended to think about it, but in reality it took no thought at all. “Has there ever been anyone special in your life, other than me?”
“No.” He finished his glass of wine and set it down, his jaw tightening.
She popped a grape into her mouth, waiting for him to say more. When he didn’t, she said, “Why not?”
“My family will tell you I never let anyone get close enough to become special, and they wouldn’t be wrong. Losing you hurt like hell. I never wanted to go through that again. But I don’t think that’s the only thing at play. I think when things are right —chemistry, friendship, values, future dreams—everything falls into place, and we don’t have an ounce of control over it. You and I are proof of that. All it took was hearing the truth to unearth and unleash all those emotions in both of us, and I don’t know about you, but I couldn’t ignore them if I tried.”
“I think we both know that I can’t hold back with you, either.”
“I like that about you.” He put his hand on her leg and kissed her.
“So, you really never had any long-term relationships? Not even in college?”
“No. My brothers say I’m like an extended-stay motel.”
“That’s awful.”
He laughed. “Yeah, but it’s accurate. I’m not a dick about it. I tell women up front that I won’t catch feelings for them, and I treat them well.”
She was curious about his dating life and pried with a tease. “Wining and dining all the single ladies around town?”
“Not all of them, but dinner and drinks are expected when you’re dating. I don’t bring women to the ranch to hang out or back to my place, and I don’t take them to the Roadhouse with the guys. I keep that part of my personal life separate from my family and club life.”
“That’s surprising. Your family and the club were always such a big part of who you were.”
“They still are. That’s why I protect them. There have been women who thought they could get under my skin, and they got clingy. I don’t need any of them showing up at the ranch or the Roadhouse and making a scene.”
“ Oops ,” she said, remembering the scene she’d made, and they both laughed.
He squeezed her leg. “Darlin’, you’re the exception to my every rule.”
They finished eating and talked more about their lives. Seeley told her about the ways the ranch had grown and how they’d expanded the back of the veterinary clinic to include better surgical and recovery rooms. He shared stories about his family, the silly things he and his siblings had done, and the ways they’d supported each other over the years. She’d always wished she’d had a sibling to lean on, and hearing those stories made her wish Lucas had one, too.
She told more stories about Lucas, and they talked about her veterinary practice in California and the ranch where she and Lucas had lived. They reminisced about her grandmother and the time they’d spent with her when they were teenagers and talked about a hundred other things, sharing smiles, laughter, sorrows, and lots of delicious kisses.
They were lost in one of those kisses now, sitting in the moonlight, filling each other up with the years, and the love, they’d missed. It felt as easy and right as it had on their very first date. He’d re-created this beautiful night just for her, and she wanted to re-create one of her favorite parts just for him. “I need a second,” she whispered as she drew back. She pulled off her boots and socks, earning a curiously sexy grin.
“What’re you doing, darlin’?”
“Re-creating another memory I’m quite fond of.” She pushed to her feet and started unbuttoning her dress.
He flashed a wolfish grin.
She’d never seen anyone undress so fast. As the last of her clothes hit the ground, he scooped her into his arms, running into the water with her as they laughed. She shrieked when the cold water hit her skin. She wrapped herself around him as he walked them in deeper. “I don’t remember it being this cold!”
“I’ll warm you up.”
His mouth came coaxingly down over hers, their slick bodies sliding against each other, friction and desire setting her body aflame. His hardness pressed temptingly against her, and he lifted her up, aligning their bodies, and lowered her onto his thick cock, filling her so completely, sparks radiated outward from her core to her fingertips and toes.
They devoured each other, surrendering to their passion, thrusting to a frantic beat, like they’d never get another chance. He fisted one hand in her hair, sending an erotic sting of pain and pleasure coursing through her, and her thoughts spun away. She moaned, and he drove into her harder, deeper, so perfectly, every pump of his hips took her closer to the edge. “ Seeley ,” she panted out, wanting to say so much more, but every thrust stole her breath.
“I know,” he gritted out. “We’re fucking perfect together. Always have been.”
Her fingernails dug into his shoulders, and a low, sexy growl rumbled up his throat. Their hungry sounds sailed into the darkness, water splashing with their efforts.
He grabbed her ass with both hands, holding it so tight she was sure he’d leave marks, and she hoped he would. She wanted to see his handprints on her skin tomorrow, to know this was real and not a dream. God , she’d missed this, them , their raw, visceral connection. It seemed unfathomable that she’d gone so many years without him, when every second he was inside her, she felt like she needed him to breathe.
“Look at me,” he gritted out, a primal hunger gleaming in his eyes. “Tell me you’re mine . We’ll figure the rest out. Just tell me you’re mine .”
Oh, her heart! “I’m yours, Seeley. I’ve always been yours.”
He tugged her mouth back to his, kissing her so passionately, driving into her so exquisitely, she soared into ecstasy. Her cries and his curses flew from their lips like thunder, their climaxes going on and on. She clung to him as they thrust and ground, kissing and moaning, wishing she could stay in his arms forever.
As they came down from the high, trying to catch their breath, she was floating on a cloud of pleasure. Reveling in his strong arms around her, in their bodies connected as one, she touched her forehead to his, and he murmured, “ Jule. My Jule. ”
The rawness in his voice brought her eyes to his, and her breath caught at the slew of emotions brimming in them.
“It’s always been you , darlin’. You’re the only person who could ever tear me to shreds or heal me in a single breath. The world was cold and gray without you. You are my light, my fucking heart, and you completely, utterly own me.”
She teared up and opened her mouth to speak, but love whirled inside her like a sandstorm, stealing her voice. But she didn’t need it, because as her heart bubbled over, he kissed her again, slow and deep, drawing all that love to the surface, and she showed him better than words ever could.
AFTER TWO MORE mind-numbing orgasms and dozens of glorious kisses, Seeley used the blanket to dry her off, the same way he had all those years ago. Only this time they weren’t silly kids. There were years of heartache between them and a world of questions ahead of them, which made his caring touch feel even more intimate and meaningful.
Juliette felt high as they dressed and headed out of the woods hand in hand. She carried the wildflowers he’d picked for her, and he carried the cooler and blanket, letting the moonlight lead the way this time.
She was still on cloud nine when the dogs greeted them in Seeley’s yard. They lavished them with attention, and the pups trotted beside them as they walked through the yard.
“I know you have to pick up Lucas, but if you can spare a minute, I have something I want to show you.”
“Okay.” They headed into his house through the doors off the back deck, and she felt like she was seeing it for the first time. She’d been so stressed the night she’d been there, she’d missed how warm and inviting it felt. “Your home is really beautiful. I love all the stone and wood. But I have to admit, I was bummed that you tore down the old cabin. Not that I blame you, after everything that happened.”
“That was a difficult time.” He led her into the bedroom, where there were candles ready to be lit and tin cans filled with wildflowers on every surface.
An incredulous and enamored, “ Seeley ,” fell from her lips.
“I thought we might end up here. Don’t get the wrong idea. I don’t want to go back to being the kids we were, but making love to you in that old cabin, lying on the floor making plans, and just…” He cleared his throat. “Those are some of my happiest memories. I thought it would be nice to re-create it when I showed you this.” He pulled back the area rug in front of the bed, revealing the scuffed and worn floorboards with the heart and their initials he’d carved into them when they were kids.
She couldn’t believe her eyes. “Is that…?”
“It’s the original floor from the old cabin. I refinished the rest of it, but I couldn’t bring myself to get rid of that. Even through all the anger, all the shit with your father and your marriage, and every sign telling me you played me, some part of me couldn’t accept it. We felt too big for you to turn your back on. We felt unfinished , and I just couldn’t do it.”
Tears burned her eyes, her voice cracking. “You were so angry when you saw me at the hospital. I can’t believe you kept anything that reminded you of us. I thought you hated me.”
Pain rose in his eyes. “In that moment, I might have.”
That hurt, even though it was warranted. She’d felt the same way at first, thinking he’d dumped her knowing about the pregnancy.
“Darlin’, when I saw you, my head and my heart had been at war for the past sixteen years. I did a damn good job of bottling up the pain and longing and the anger and confusion, but seeing you again broke my ability to hold it in. My emotions erupted like a fucking volcano, and I had to get away from you before I lost it. I’m sorry for what I said.”
She shook her head, stepping closer. “It’s okay.” She wound her arms around his neck. “That’s behind us now. I’m sorry you were so tortured, but I’m so freaking happy you didn’t forget us.”
“I could no sooner forget us than I could be done with you.”
Her heart felt like it might burst as his arms circled her, and he sealed those words with a long, sensual kiss.