23. Cherry
23. Cherr y
I have no idea what Jake has planned for today, so I don’t have a clue what to wear or think. I feel unsettled, out of control, and it isn’t a feeling I like. I woke to a text from him this morning and it was so reminiscent of how he was before, butterflies take flight in my belly.
Jake: Morning beautiful. What book are you reading right now?
Cherry: Morning, Jake. I’m reading one called How to Kill Your Ex.
Apparently, he found that amusing because he’d sent me a laughing emoji. I wasn’t sure this was a good idea, but he’d railroaded me and I’m not backing down like a frightened child. If he needs me to spend time with him to prove that I’m over him, then so be it.
The fact that I’m not over him and probably never will be, is immaterial. So I pull on a cute pair of denim shorts, and a sleeveless pink and white gingham shirt, and tie it under my boobs. I’m not giving him the satisfact ion of dressing up for him, but neither am I taking my standards down too far.
A knock at my door reminds me I need to charge my doorbell as I go to answer it. “Who is it?”
“The man from your dreams.”
I roll my eyes but can’t help the grin at Jake’s outlandish comeback. Although it isn’t entirely wrong, he’d been in my dreams last night, and I’d had to get up extra early to spend some time with my bullet vibrator this morning because of it.
I pull open the door and school my expression to one of mild boredom. Those pesky butterflies swarm again at the sight of him in dark jeans, a black tee, and his worn leather jacket. “Good morning.”
His eyes skim over me in approval which only makes my body respond more. Jake has never hidden his attraction to me before and he doesn’t now either, and I like that.
“You look beautiful.”
“This is old, but as you didn’t tell me where or what we were doing, I just threw it on.”
“It’s almost perfect.”
“Almost?”
“You gonna let me through the door, Blossom?”
Stepping back, I give him plenty of room, so that his body doesn’t touch mine as he walks past. The smirk on his face tells me he knows exactly what I’m doing.
“Almost?”
I follow him into my kitchen where he sets a bag on my counter and pulls out a pair of black leather trousers and a leather jacket. “I got you these. I don’t want you getting road rash on that gorgeous body if we come off for any reason.”
“You plan on wrecking your bike, Jake?”
“No, but I’m not taking risks with your safety.”
“It never bothered you before.”
A frown mars his face. “Yes, well, we’ve established I was a jerk back then who took thing s for granted, most especially you and that isn’t happening again.”
His words make a crack form in the shell of anger I wear around my heart. I point to a package on the side. “Fine. What’s that?”
“This is the new Lungo smartwatch.” Jake removes the pale pink watch with a rose gold face from the package and reaches for my wrist.
“Why are you giving me this?”
Jake bends closer and his woodsy, sexy scent makes me feel weak with lust.
“Because it can monitor your heartbeats, and this way I know how much I owe you for your time.”
“Oh.”
It had been a joke, a way to express how much I didn’t want to spend time with him, but now that it’s happening, the fact he’s followed up on what I said is touching.
“Put these on and we’ll head out.”
“You gonna give me any hint about where we’re going?”
“Nope.”
“It had better not be cliff diving or some other dumb, meathead activity.”
“Cliff diving isn’t a meathead activity, it’s fun, but you can relax because this doesn’t involve water.” He rubs his chin. “Although the thought of you in a bikini does give me an idea for our next date.”
“This isn’t a date.”
“It’s a date.”
“Urgh, you are so annoying.”
“Blossom, that’s not how you pronounce irresistible.”
I shake my head and begin to drag on the leather trousers over my shorts. They fit perfectly and even have two pink lines running up the side of the legs. The jacket matches perfectly and fits like a glove.
Outside, Jake takes my bag and secures it in the back storage under the seat, then slides the helmet over my head. His hands are gentle as he secures the strap and then lifts me onto the bike before sliding his leg over the front.
The rumble of the engine between my legs is an instant turn-on, but when Jake leans back and strokes my thigh, I almost jump him right there and then.
“You ready, Blossom?”
I nod and he pulls my hands around his waist, flattening my breasts against his back. With one hand on the handlebars, the other covering my linked hands on his abdomen, we speed off.
God, I’d forgotten what a rush it is being on a bike, the freedom, the air on my skin. A smile spreads across my face despite the fact I’m trying to control every emotion possible when it comes to Jake.
We’re about twenty minutes from my shop heading into the countryside, with sidewalks becoming fields and buildings giving way to trees and cattle. We pass several beautiful properties, including a few farmhouses and a barn conversion.
I know this area well. I’ve always wanted to renovate one of the properties here because that is as close as I’ll ever get to living in one. I do well. I’m more than comfortable but I’ll never have money like Jake.
We stop at the end of a long driveway with a dirt track, and Jake turns the bike. Navigating the gravel slowly, I take in the trees on either side of the drive. It’s picturesque and from another era, when life must have been slower, and the problems faced by those living them now came with rose-tinted glasses.
My breath catches when the house comes into view and I wonder who he knows that owns such a stunning period property. White with a blue trim, the wrap-around porch is to die for and then when I look up and see the same on the second floor I almost swoon.
“Wow.” I pull the helmet off and shake my hair out but my gaze never leaves the stunning home in front of me.
Jake helps me off the bike and keeps hold of my hand as we walk forward. To the left of the magnificent home is a huge pond with a white fence around the edge an d huge, established climbing roses in pink and white cover the entrance.
“It’s pretty special, huh?”
I drag my gaze from the house to Jake and find him watching me. A blush colors my cheeks but I drop his gaze and focus on the house. “Who does it belong to?”
“Me.”
“What?” I spin towards him, my mouth hanging open in surprise.
Jake chuckles and closes my mouth with his knuckle, mumbling something I probably don’t want to hear.
“You bought this place? Why? When?”
“I bought it a few weeks ago. I wanted somewhere closer to where Mac and Lexi will be with Theo and I know they bought somewhere a few miles from here. Plus, Hank and Vivian are close and I want to be where my family is. I want something different from what I have.”
“Well, this place is absolutely gorgeous.”
“Want to see inside?”
“Try and stop me.”
Jake leads me inside and I ooh and ahh over every single detail. The rooms are huge, with hardwood flooring. The back of the property houses the huge kitchen and dining room, that leads to a den on the left and a formal living room on the right. Out the back, the previous owners had added a pool and lush green lawns.
“How many bedrooms?”
“Why? You want to try them out, Blossom?”
Jake waggles his eyebrows and I fight not to find it endearing. “In your dreams.”
“Every night, baby.”
My gut clenches at the familiar words he’d said to me in college. The lines between the Jake of then and now are blurring until I have to squint to see the difference.
“Ha-ha. Show me the rest.”
Jake leads me upstairs, his hand on the base of my spine, as we ascend the double-wide s taircase that curves around to the second-floor landing.
“It has six bedrooms and eight bathrooms, but as you’ve probably noticed, it needs a fair bit of updating.”
“It has great bones though and a lot of the original features are in really good condition.”
“Yeah, I liked that about it.”
As we tour each room, I hate the stab of jealousy that knots in my stomach at the thought that one day, some lucky woman would get to share this with him. That eventually, he’ll give up on me like every other man before him, and in a lot of ways, including him, and he’ll move on. Meet some lucky bitch and have a horde of gorgeous kids running around this house.
“Who do you have in mind? I can recommend a few great contractors who can handle something of this scale with the finesse it deserves. Just make sure your designer works with them.”
Jake shoves his hands in his pockets and tilts his head to look at me. “Actually, I was hoping you’d be my designer.”
“Me?” I pointed at myself like an imbecile, my eyes going wide.
Jake chuckles and nods. “Yes. You have an amazing talent for this stuff and I trust you to do right by this property.”
I hadn’t expected this and don’t how I feel about his proposition. I’m not dumb enough to think this was because he thinks I’m the best, although I’m damn good. This is likely a ruse to spend time with me, but as I look around the property, I know I won’t turn down this chance either. “What if I turn it into a bright pink Barbie dream house just to fuck with you?”
Jake shrugs. “As I said, I trust you. I know despite how you may feel about me, you’ll do right by this property. You love architecture too much to do anything else.”
He’s right. I’ll never let my personal feelings affect how I approach a project like this. “What’s the budget and time frame? I’m just finishing up a few projects and, with Lexi out, it might take a little longer than usual. ”
“Unlimited budget and no set time frame. I have my place in the city, so it’s not like I need it finished in any great rush.”
“I wish I’d bought my notepad and sketchbook.”
“Hang on.”
Jake bounds away and I take the moment to really admire the master suite. I have so many ideas. My brain is alive with them, a few of the pieces in the shop would work too. Excitement bubbles in my veins like champagne bubbles, and I do a little dance on the spot.
“Here you go.”
I spin to see Jake holding out a notepad and sketchbook. “Where did you get these?”
“I remembered you always liked to sketch your designs.”
Taking the book and pencils, I try not to let him see how touched I am by the gesture. We spend the next few hours walking around the property while I question him on every style choice he might like. Some are obvious but others he shows a great insight as I lead him through.
“I have lunch set up by the pond if you’re hungry?”
“Starved.”
Somehow through this visit, we’ve established a tentative truce, and I’m glad of it. I’m exhausted from constantly being angry with him and this feels nice. Have I forgiven him? No. Do I trust him? Also no. But I’m seeing maybe there might be a way forward for us in some way, even if that’s only as friends of friends.
We go out to the pond, which is the size of a small lake, to find food set up on a blanket under the shade of one of the trees. The sun shines down on us in the late summer afternoon and a tranquil sense of peace falls over me as I sigh and lay back, closing my eyes.
“It’s so peaceful here.”
“It’s one of the reasons I bought it.”
“Tired of the city?” I open my eyes and gaze at Jake as he looks off into the distance. “I never liked the city but it’s where work is, and where my family was.”
“You never talk about them. Not in college, either. ”
“No point. It’s in the past.”
“Do you ever see them?”
He’s never talked about his family at all, so I never pushed in college for fear of upsetting what we had, but now that’s a shipwreck at the bottom of the ocean, I have no qualms about bringing it up.
Jake turns to look at me, and I sit up at the haunted look on his face. An ice-cold finger slides down my spine.
“They’re dead. Or at least most of them are. I never knew what happened to my father after he left us. He might be dead. I have no idea.”
“Oh, Jake, I’m so sorry.”
“Don’t feel sorry for me, Blossom. It was my fault they died.”
Reaching out, I lay my hand on his shoulder. “I don’t believe that, Jake.”
“Really? Even after what I did, you still think I’m incapable of that?”
“Yes.”
He’s silent for a few moments and I let him have his space, he clearly wants to get this off his chest, and I’m worried that if I say more he’ll shut down, and this is the first real insight I’m getting into the man I’d once loved.
“I was twelve, my sister Tiffany was five. I was babysitting while my mom went out to work. I knew even at that age that her work wasn’t right. That the strange men she sometimes brought home weren’t really friends but I was too young to realize that she was hooked on drugs.”
My breath freezes in my lungs as dread weighs me down. I hate the direction this is taking for him, but I need to hear it and he needs me to listen.
“Mom was out scoring drugs and I was meant to be watching Tiff. I thought she was watching cartoons. I went to play soccer in the alley with my friends. She found some matches and before I knew it, the apartment was on fire. I rushed back inside and she was unconscious by the window. I got her out and the fire department cleared the building but it was too late. Tiff died of smoke inhalation.”
“Oh, Jake.”
Tears run down my cheeks as I think of the little boy who blamed himself for an accident that wasn’t his fault. He was just a kid being given responsibility by a lazy, neglectful mother.
“Hey, no. Don’t cry for me, Blossom.”
Jake wraps me in his arms and holds me tight as the tears fall. I rarely cry and, after my father died, I thought I was broken because I couldn’t cry. Jake’s betrayal had fixed that problem. Although, even now, I’m not a weepy person. My therapist says it’s because I was forced to grow up and not crying had been my way of shielding my mom. I’m not sure if that’s right, but it doesn’t matter.
“I can’t help it. You were a child, Jake. That must have been so awful for you.”
“I was numb. My mom blamed me. Fuck, I blamed me. She wouldn’t even look at me and said it should’ve been me, not Tiff, and I agreed.”
I can feel the coiled tension in his body as he continues. “She was so beautiful, so full of life, and I killed her.”
“No.” I pull back to look him in the eyes. “You did not kill her. It was an awful accident and you were not responsible.”
“You sound like Hunter.”
I snort. “I knew I liked that man.”
A small, sad twitch of his lips makes me want to erase his pain, but guilt and grief don’t work that way.
“Indirectly, I was to blame for their deaths. My mom took an overdose six months later and died.”
My heart breaks for that young boy, who’d had to grow up too young, who was led to believe he was bad and ugly inside by the person who should have protected him.
“Jake, No. However hard it is to hear it, your mother was responsible for both you and your sister, and ultimately herself, too. ”
“I was the man of the house. I should have done better but I got worse.”
“What does that mean? You got worse?”
“After mom died, I went into the system. I was a little asshole, Blossom. I stole, I got into fights. I hated everyone and everything, but I was smart and I landed in a program that got me a scholarship to the same school as Mac. If it wasn’t for him and his family, I’d be dead or in jail, because I was headed down that road. I was running with some absolute bastards and I liked it.”
His arms loosen around me and I look up to see disgust and self-loathing on his handsome face. Pain gathers in my heart for that boy and this man who still blames himself and thinks himself so undeserving.
“Why didn’t you tell me this when we were together?”
Jake blows out a breath and shakes his head. “I was young, confident, playing the part I wanted to land. I loved you so much. I thought if you knew the old me, the vile kid with a record, you would’ve run a mile.”
“I would’ve loved you regardless.”
“Maybe, but I couldn’t take the risk.”
“Is this why you did what you did?”
He shakes his head, frustration etched into every pore on his face. “Yes and no. My past came back to haunt me, but it’s no excuse. I should never have done it.”
“No, you shouldn’t have but we all make mistakes.”
“Yeah, except mine cost me the girl I loved.”
I can’t argue or absolve him of those sins because he’d had a choice and made the wrong one. Maybe one day he’ll divulge the details but I can already feel him pulling away and I let him go. Today has been a lot, but I have hope that the festering wounds of the past, once out in the open, will be able to heal and maybe this is the start for both of us.
“We should go. I have plans later.”
Now it’s my turn to wrestle with the green-eyed monster. Jumping up, I dust mysel f off and give a nonchalant shrug. “Oh yeah, of course. You probably have a date. Wouldn’t want to deprive all those ladies of Jake the playboy.”
His lips twitch, before he breaks into a belly laugh, his hand holding his belly and he throws his head back. “Fuck me. You’re beautiful when you’re jealous.”
“I’m not jealous. Why would I be? You’re not mine and I’m not yours.”
A growl slips past his lips as he snags my waist and hauls me into his arms. His lips find mine in a kiss that bleeds any thought from my brain. His hands are firm, his lips soft and familiar, and the scruff on his jaw scratches enough to evoke the memory of what he felt like between my legs.
Pulling back, he cups my face in his hands as I try to wrangle my heart back into a normal rhythm.
“You are mine, and I am yours. I have been since the day we met in that coffee shop, so get used to it.”
He doesn’t give me a chance to respond, just places the helmet back on my head and helps me onto the bike. We ride home in silence but with a new understanding between us that, while unspoken and tentative, feels like the seed from which beauty might grow.
He walks me to my door and hands me my sketchbook and notepad.
“I’ll see you soon, Blossom.”
I watch as he gets on his bike, pulls his helmet on, and turns, giving me a wink that makes my knees wobble, before he pulls the visor down and rides away, taking my equilibrium with him.