Chapter 6
I startle awake, sitting up as my bedroom door bursts open.
“Wake up, sleepyhead.” Luke’s warm voice freezes me on the spot.
My heart drops to my stomach, every single memory of yesterday smacking me in the face.
Chris.
I look next to me in bed. He’s not here. Of course, he’s not. He must have tucked me in bed before leaving.
“Hey,” I say groggily.
I feel weird seeing my brother, perfectly knowing the things that happened with his best friend right here a few hours ago.
“You look like shit,” he chuckles as he comes in. “It’s eleven a.m. I thought I’d wake you up before leaving.”
“Already?”
He huffs. “I’ve got a lot of stuff to deal with in L.A. Seems Mom and Dad skipped on the whole present opening this year. They just left two big checks on the kitchen table before leaving for the airport. Hey, why don’t you come see me before going back to college?”
I nod, numbly. “Sure. Why not.” I pinch my lips, doing my best to stop the question that’s begging to spill out of my mouth. I fail. I need to know if he’s seen Chris this morning. “How was it at Chris’s?”
You’re stupid, Ella Baker.
Luke shrugs. “I was blacked-out drunk and had to sleep over. Chris woke me up this morning when he was leaving.”
“Leaving?” My heartbeat accelerates. Something feels wrong.
“Yeah,” he huffs. He runs a hand through his hair, his mouth twisting with annoyance. “He’s leaving Stoneview early.” He rolls his eyes. “Megan called.”
For a few beats, my body refuses to react. My brain freezes, my life pauses.
I blink up at my brother.
Megan.
Chris’s girlfriend.
Called.
“But…” I choke on something, unable to speak.
Oh, I know what it is. Regret.
My heart squeezes so hard in my chest, I could swear I’m having a heart attack. “I thought they’d broken up.”
“How do you know that?”
I startle, only now realizing I said it out loud. It takes all my strength to act unperturbed.
My shrug is stiff. “It’s Stoneview, Luke.” I fake a smile, hurting my cheeks. “Gossip works fast.”
He nods. “Yeah, well, you know how it is. He breaks up and then she calls crying on the phone about something, and our hero runs back to her because he can’t stand hurting anyone.”
He can’t stand hurting anyone but me.
He’s everyone’s hero but mine.
Sweet Christopher Murray. The wise friend. The sensible boyfriend. Mr. Perfect.
The man who chooses to show his true, vile personality to only one person.
Me.
And I fall for it every time. I let him deceive me every. Single. Time.
Christopher Murray. My treacherous liar.
Luke leaves around one p.m., and that’s when I call my best friends Peach and Alex. We meet at Baker’s Café on Main Street, so I can tell them about the stupid thing I did last night.
They hug me when I cry, like they did in high school when he broke up with me. They tell me that I’m amazing and he’s an asshole who doesn’t deserve me. And I pretend to believe them.
They come with me to the pharmacy to get the morning after pill because I acted like a stupid, reckless girl last night. We spend the day at Alex’s lake house. I even laugh when Peach falls on her ass while ice-skating on Stoneview Lake.
But when I go home to an empty house, the dread is still there. My heart is still heavy. I sit down at my desk, intent on finishing the Christmas cards I have to go distribute for Dad.
I always wonder why he doesn’t want them to be mailed. Why doesn’t he want them to be tracked? No proof. And why do I have to be the one to deliver the cryptic messages to his friends?
I sigh, knowing there’s a long evening ahead of me when my eyes catch a card that is already open, hidden under a stack of others.
There’s a note on it.
To my love from another life,
I can explain. I promise.
I love you.
My heart drops, wondering if I’m dreaming. If maybe…it’s from someone else? I know that’s impossible, but why would Chris leave me such a strange note?
I fold the card, noticing he filled in the front too.
Merry Christmas
From Daddy
To Little one.