WAKE UP CALL
FUCK. SHIT. FUUUUCK . Jamie checked her phone, which of course had been switched to silent. ‘10 missed calls’ and all from ‘Home.’ It was eight in the morning, and on a school day. What had she been thinking?
Scrambling to her feet and quickly amassing her clothing, which seemed to be scattered all over Cameron’s tiny one-bedroom apartment, Jamie went into overdrive. She hadn’t even told her mother she was staying out. Maria would be out of her mind by now. If the police hadn’t been called and she wasn’t already registered as a Missing Person, it would be nothing short of miraculous. FUCK . She had to get out of there. Also, Maria didn’t drive, which meant she’d have to take Madison to school in a cab, something she was only happy to do if Jamie had work. And Jamie had most certainly not been working.
Cameron still appeared to be sleeping. No need to wake him. She’d message him later … or rather, wait for him to message her. Jamie had been playing with Cameron for over a month now and that was getting seriously close to relationship territory. The sex was still pretty amazing, yes, but she always felt nervous about getting serious with a man. They always let you down. In any case, what did she really need from one? Great sex was more than enough.
Must get dressed. Now. Fast. Faster. Where the hell did I leave my flippin’ top?
Top, along with oddly enough, a fuchsia feather boa was found decorating the bare hallway. Ooh, the hallway. Such a great hallway. Stop your daydreaming you stupid girl and get the hell out of there before you find your face on the BBC news.
“Are you leaving me already?” Cameron was awake.
Shit . She didn’t want to get into anything now. Cameron didn’t even know she had a child. Besides, he didn’t need to know and she didn't have time to explain.
“Yeah, totally forgot. I have a casting. I need to go home and sort myself out,” Jamie lied. She fumbled with the buttons on her denim miniskirt, which she’d successfully retrieved from the cold checkerboard bathroom tiles.
“I had an amazing time,” Cameron enthused from the bed, the sheet only partially covering his naked body whilst half of his toned chest and firm, athletic legs remained exposed.
He’s in such great shape for a ‘graphic designer.’ Not that they ever discussed work. In fact, they rarely discussed anything. Jamie tried to avert her eyes. She had to leave.
“Me too. Gotta dash. See ya.” Grabbing her boots on her way out.
“Missing you already,” came from the bedroom. But Cameron’s words were left unheard as Jamie was already out of the apartment and halfway down the communal stairs to the front door. The communal area was dark and in desperate need of a paint job—and deep cleaning. Somehow, it just seemed to add to the sordidness of the situation.
Checking her reflection in the dusty, small black-framed mirror beside the front door of the building, Jamie was horrified to find the wild woman of Borneo looking back at her. Arrrrgggghhhh . What would her agent say if she saw her now? Memo to self, next time ‘you never know’ bag must contain a cap or hat. Very large hat even better. Balaclava perhaps?
Jamie’s fingers frantically reached into the depths of her ‘you never know’ bag for her phone and immediately dialled home.
“Jamie, Jamie. Where you are? I been so worried. Why you no call me? Where you been?” Maria’s voice was trembling. She was scared. Jamie had made her scared. It was all her fault. What kind of daughter doesn’t inform home that she won’t actually be coming home?
“I’m so sorry … ” Jamie’s mind scrambled to think of an excuse.
Upon realising her daughter wasn’t in an imagined ditch somewhere, Maria’s tone changed, and she began her usual interrogation instead, “And Madison? School? Where you were? Out with that India? No, don’t tell me. Out with some horrible boy? Sei pazzo? Oh, you know what, I don’t even wanna know. I take Madison to school myself, otherwise she be late. How you be so irresponsible? When Madison wake up, she ask where you were. I no idea you no home, so told her you must be working. What else I say?”
Maria went from being scared to relieved to finally ablaze with inferno-like fury. This was not good. Not good at all. Jamie was going to have hell to pay. Maria was going to crucify her, and then, when she was dead, she was going to feed her to the ducks at Chiswick Park. Jamie was not looking forward to getting home. Having a feisty Mediterranean mother could be brutal at times.
* * *
Ever so quietly, Jamie snuck into the house and quickly ran upstairs to her room. There appeared to be no sign of either Maria or Madison, so it was safe to surmise they’d already left. She would freshen herself up and think of an excuse. India? Hmmmm. India got sick? Yeah, really sick. No, not alcohol poisoning, that would only antagonise Mamma further. Just sick. Food poisoning perhaps? Or worse? Perhaps a terrible stomach ache? Something so bad that she had to stay by her side all night. Yes. A get out of jail free card whilst getting to look like the caring friend all at the same time. Sounded good, except for one thing—India. Best call and check she hadn’t called home at some point during the night. No good creating an alibi if the alibi wasn’t ‘alibi-able.’ But realising it was still morning, Jamie recognised it was way too early to call the lady of the night. India never woke up before noon unless she had to. And, Jamie was pretty sure she didn’t have anything booked until Monday. Never mind; she’d understand. This was an emergency, for Christ’s sake.
As fast as she could dial, fearing Maria’s imminent arrival, Jamie called India’s number from her ensuite. Ringing, ringing. Please answer goddammit. Ringing, ringing. Oh, for crying out loud India, just answer the fucking phone.
“Hello?” India’s gravelly tones, clearly still half asleep, were like music to Jamie’s ears.
“Babe, wake up. Wake up. This is an emergency.” Jamie tried her quietest shout as she sat precariously on the side of the bath.
India, suddenly much more lucid and alarmed. “What? What is it? What happened?”
“Oh hun, please tell me you didn’t call my house at any point last night?”
“No, why? What happened?”
“Well, I went out with Cameron again and let’s just say I didn’t come home.”
Silence. India was clearly not amused by the not entirely catastrophic event in Jamie’s world. “Yes, and? Is that why you’re calling me? Now? At six o’clock in the morning. It’s practically the middle of the night.”
“Actually, it’s nine thirty and I’m sorry about that. I need your help. I really need you to be an alibi for me. I’ve got to make up a good enough story as to why I didn’t get back home in time to take Madison to school this morning. And also, why I bloody well forgot to call last night.”
“Hmmmm, so how does this involve me then?” India didn’t like the sound of this.
“Well … I thought maybe … maybe you could be sick? Like really sick. Vomiting all over the place, maybe even coming in and out of consciousness?”
“Dying? You want me to be dying?”
“No, of course not, hun. Of course I don’t want you to be dying … but, almost? Sorry, I’m joking. Really. Of course I’m joking. I just need to pretend that I was with you last night and that, inexplicably and unexpectedly, you just got sick. So sick that I had to take you home, lost track of time. Next thing you know; I’ve fallen asleep next to you … from exhaustion. Are you okay with that? What else can I tell my mother? She’d kill me if she knew the truth.” Voice sweetening a touch, “And you wouldn’t want that now, would you, angel? Wouldn’t want your dear friend Jamie to be murdered by her mother. Then who would you have to go and play with?”
“Sure babe, anything so I can go back to sleep.”
“Thank you, thank you. I’ll make it up to you, I promise.”
Jamie hung up. Phew. Close call. Now she just had to get Maria to believe it. Splashing cold water over her face, followed by a concoction of brightening serums and concealer, Jamie managed to successfully resemble herself again. Hearing the front door close, she knew Maria was back. Renewed with hope, and cosmetics, Jamie sprinted back downstairs, full of the joys of spring. Hearing sounds emanating from the kitchen, she went to make her peace. “Hi, Mamma. You’re back? Look, I’m really sor—”
“ Basta! I don’t wanna hear it,” Maria’s tone was abrupt, and she was avoiding making eye contact. Suddenly, making tea had become as ceremonious as a Hindu wedding, as she painstakingly went through what appeared to be an extended ritual just to brew a cuppa.
“But, Mamma, you don’t understand. I couldn’t come home … India was sick. Really sick. I had to look after her.”
“Until this morning?” Maria’s arched brow suggested she wasn’t buying any of it, as she took a spoon to deliberately crush the tea bag before discarding it into the tall pedal bin.
“But Mamma. She was ill. What did you want me to do? Leave her?”
“Non ne posso più Jamie, I have enough of you and you lying. Even if India sick, which I no believe for second, she can look after herself. Who here look after your daughter?”
Jamie stood speechless. This was not going well. Not going at all as planned.
“But, she was ill, Mamma, Madison wasn’t ill. India lives alone. She only had me to look after her. I think she had food poisoning or something because she was vomiting all over the place. I didn’t even realise the time.” Jamie winced at the whine in her voice, but it was too late; she’d set her path and had to stick to it.
“So why you no call me, tell me this terrible situation?” Maria had more than a hint of sarcasm in her voice.
“I … er … I … was too busy looking after her. I mean …” Jamie began to struggle. This was going from bad to worse.
“ Che nervi, Jamie. If you wanna go out and act like some kind of prostituta with India, then that you business but you need think about others. All you think about is ME! ME! ME! You selfish and irresponsible girl. I have enough. From now on I no look after Madison, so you be here every morning or scuola will be calling to ask where she is.”
Jamie’s mouth opened to speak, but what could she say? Clearly, she wasn’t a very good actress and her mother seemed adamant not to hear her out. Damn, she shouldn’t have mentioned India. She should’ve pretended she was with another friend. Someone her mother actually liked. Someone like … like … there was no one.
With that, Maria took herself and her cup of Earl Grey and defiantly, victoriously, marched into the living room.
Shit. What now? Was she for real? Did she mean everything she’d just said? And what did she mean, I’m ‘selfish’? Jamie looked after all of them. She was the breadwinner. If Maria wasn’t prepared to look after Madison, she'd have to get a nanny. And how would she be able to afford that?
* * *
The room was dark, other than the light that illuminated Jamie's favourite painting, which hung above her mirrored desk-come-vanity table. It was home to her laptop as well as an extensive collection of makeup and beautifying products. The canvas perfectly depicted a deserted tropical beach with pure white sands and crystal clear waters. Gazing up at it from her desk, Jamie visualised herself there; immersed in its refreshing waters, with the sun’s warm embrace enveloping her all but naked skin. Staring and staring, as if by staring hard enough, she could literally dive into the painting and transport herself—far away from her current existence. Anywhere would be better than where she was at that moment. Bloody hell. Why hadn’t her mother believed her? Turning towards her laptop, Jamie decided to email Kate. Yes, Kate would commiserate with her.
Suddenly, her phone beeped.
Karl: Just finished an excellent
book and thought you might
be interested. Raising Good
Humans. Offers practical
strategies to make your life
easier. Really great. Regards
Wow. How weird. Was this guy psychic? Perhaps it was a sign? Perhaps this book would hold the answer to her current dilemma? She wondered if it could be applied to hot-blooded Italian mothers too?
Jamie: Hey Karl, thanks, great timing!
My life could really do with being
easier. Will read the book and hope
therein lies inspiration. I’ll let you
know how it goes. Thanx for
thinking of me. J
The message went off, but as Jamie stared at the phone screen, she was startled when it started to ring … Karl? No, it was India calling.
“Hi, babe.”
“Hi, sweetie. What you up to? You at home?” India’s voice was upbeat.
“Yup, where else? Feel like I’m grounded. My mum didn’t fall for it. So don’t worry, you don’t have to pretend anything next time you come over. And guess what? Now she thinks I’m the worst mother and daughter in the world.” Jamie's words spluttered out at a million miles per hour.
“No, seriously? I can’t believe it.”
“Believe it. I’m going to have to do something about it. I’m hoping she’ll calm down.”
“She will. Don’t stress about it. Anyway, it’s Friday night, if you hadn’t noticed. Was calling to arrange where we’d go and by the sounds of it, you, my dear, are in desperate need of a drink.”
“You have got to be joking. I’d be shot dead on the spot. My mum hates me right now, so I’m staying out of her way and have been holed up in my room all day. Actually, it hasn’t been all that bad. Because she hasn't wanted to speak to me, she also hasn’t bothered to try and get me to eat either. Bloody marvellous. Not even Madison’s come up. I’ve actually had a break. But as for going out—impossible.”
“Hmmmm, what if I come over then? Keep you company? I can sneak in a little bottle of something to cheer you up? Then when they’re all asleep, we can sneak out. They won’t even notice.”
“Are you completely mad? She’d have you too. Guilty by association. As attractive as it sounds, I’m going to have to give it a miss tonight. Think I had enough of a biggie last night.”
“You sure babe?”
“Sure. Go ahead and have fun without me.”
“Well, if you change your mind, I’ll probably be at The Arts Club and then onto Koko. I’ll keep my phone on just in case.” With that, India disappeared into the night again.
What now? It was Friday night. In fact, it was Friday the thirteenth. What was it with her favourite day recently? Friday the thirteenth always used to be such an awesome day. Not anymore. Strange forces were at work here. She was home, alone and with nothing but her horrible thoughts to keep her occupied. Staring at the half-empty bottle of Baileys on her desk, Jamie removed the lid and glugged several sips. Enough alcohol might just help her forget and fall asleep, and she could wake up to find the whole thing was just one long, nasty dream.
‘Beep. Beep.’ A text. Cameron? That would be nice. He hadn’t actually texted her yet, which was odd. Although it was because of that little shit that she was in this mess. Beautiful little shit though.
Jamie picked up her phone and opened up the message:
Karl: Chp 6. They title it Never
Give Away the Ice Cream.
In layman’s terms, I think it
should be called The Art of
Bribery. Good luck. Am here
if you need to offload and
moan. K.
Jamie: Actually you don’t happen
to know of a book called
Raising Good Humans
(Whilst Making Your Mother
Believe You Are One Too), so
she finally stops giving you grief?
It’s a long title I know lol.
Karl: You live with your mother
too? Oh boy. Think you’re
going to need a whole library!
Jamie couldn’t help but crack a smile.