ACCEPTANCE
“Hands off.” Jamie slapped Kate’s hand away from the triangle of Club Sandwich Kate had reached for. “You’ve already had two,” she exclaimed.
“I think I preferred it when you were a model and starving,” Kate said grumpily, still looking longingly at the sandwich.
“Ha bloody ha.”
“Can we share it, at least? Now that I’m doing the Inca Trail next year, I’ve upped my training and I’m starving.”
Jamie ignored her, grabbing the sandwich and shoving it into her mouth before Kate had a chance to wrestle her for it. “OMG I almost forgot, I have news!” Jamie blurted out in between chews.
“You’re finally in a real relationship?” Kate said excitedly.
“What? No. Why would I need that? No, I mean real news!”
Kate looked at her blankly. “Well spit it out then, what is it?”
“I … I … I found my first grey hair!” Jamie’s eyes grew brighter, as her smile grew wider.
“Ohmygosh what? Hahaha so I guess you’re not twenty-five anymore then?” Kate winked. “So did you pull it out?”
“Actually no, I’ve decided to keep it. It’s part of me and I don’t see why I should feel ashamed of it.”
Kate looked blankly at Jamie; the one she knew had clearly left the building. “So where is this grey hair then? I need to see this.”
Jamie ran her fingers through her hair in an attempt to expose it. And just as she did, Kate leapt up and began inspecting Jamie’s hair in the same way that she might inspect her daughters’.
“Get off me! We’re not going to do this here. I’ll find it later and show you,” Jamie protested, swatting her friend away like a fly with her long slender arms.
Defeated, Kate sat back down, and Jamie attempted to regain her composure after being subjected to a very public head inspection.
“Sorry,” said Kate.
“It’s okay. I guess I’ve just been doing a lot of thinking recently. Not having to rely on my looks for work has made me question everything I’ve ever been taught. I mean, why are we supposed to colour our hair when it goes grey anyway? Who decided that? And why don’t men do it? Well, most men. You know what I mean. In fact, have you seen some of those silver-haired beauties with flowing grey locks? I’ve started to follow some on Instagram and they call themselves the ‘Silver Sisters’ and they’re just fabulous. So I’ve decided I’m going to be one too.
Kate looked at her friend. “Right, but I think you’re going to need another few decades before you even get close to that.” Jamie’s face dropped and Kate realised her friend was actually serious.
“I’m sorry again. I suppose I never expected to hear those words coming out of your mouth. If anything, you’ve always tried to be younger, but I’m happy for you. Acceptance is a huge thing, and it’s not easy for us women to accept ourselves exactly as we are.” Kate reached over and touched her friend’s hand. How things had changed.
Suddenly Jamie reached out with her other hand clasping Kate’s with both of her own. “And I’m really sorry too, Kate.”
“You’re sorry now? For what?”
“I feel I owe you an apology.”
Kate couldn’t fathom what Jamie could possibly be apologising for. “Is it because you ate the Club Sandwich?” Kate said playfully.
“Haha no, of course not. I’m being serious. I’ve been thinking about that time we went to see the specialist and sat in the park afterwards.”
Kate frowned and interjected. “That was a great day. What are you apologising for?”
“Yeah, it was a great day. It’s for encouraging you to go ahead with the surgery. I feel like I pushed you into having it. I was just so clouded back then. You never needed to change anything about yourself. You were always beautiful just as you were. I guess I didn’t see it. In anyone, least of all myself. And that’s why I’ve decided to question it all now.”
Jamie had nothing to apologise for. Jamie had empowered her to change something about herself that she didn’t like. Nobody had cajoled her into the surgery, not Jamie and not David either. All they had done was support her in her own journey and she would do it all again in a heartbeat.
“Don’t be ridiculous. That decision was all mine. And I don’t regret it for a second.”
“You don’t?” Jamie’s eyes widened as she gazed back at her friend.
“I don’t. I did it for me, and only me. And even if you hadn’t been supportive, I probably would have ended up doing it anyway. But thank you … for thinking I was beautiful.”
“You’ll always be beautiful to me.” Jamie locked eyes with her friend and they both smiled. And in that moment, they knew their friendship would stand the test of time.
“Soooo … back to my question on relationships.” Kate stared directly at Jamie, her mouth now curled into a cheeky smile.
“I am dating Kate. I date all the time.” It was true. Jamie had found a great babysitter and, whilst she didn’t have as many sleepovers as she did when Maria was there, her sex life was still very much alive and kicking.
“Yes, I know and I love your stories, but I’m not talking about the shags. I’m talking about a relationship.”
Jamie shuddered involuntarily and pulled a face. Pah Relationship. Who needs a frickin’ man full-time?
Kate ignored her expression. “You know, somebody that I can meet. Someone from our generation. Someone, ‘appropriate.’”
“Yeah, yeah. I’m sure I will. One day.”
“Okay, I’ll drop the subject. Just promise me that if you do get together with an appropriate man, you’ll let me meet him. It would be so much fun to go on a double date.”
“Okay, I promise.” Jamie grinned mischievously before intentionally changing the subject. “What you up to now? Sure I can’t change your mind about the Cosmopolitans?” They’d been there for over an hour and it was her fifth attempt at persuading Kate to break her ‘no alcohol’ stance.
“No, I can’t Jamie. I’m training this afternoon. My body is a temple,” she said with a playful yet stern look, indicating that the subject was closed.
“So you keep telling me,” Jamie groaned, wishing for a moment that she could have the old Kate back. “You’re so booooring. I took the afternoon off. I thought we were going to play.”
“A temple.”
Jamie pulled her mouth down, sulking, realising that her attempts to bring the ‘new’ Kate over to the dark side were in vain.
“We should get the bill.” Kate looked around for a waiter.
“Yeah okay. I guess I’ll see you in spin class on Monday then. And seeing as you won’t play with me today, I think I’ll go and have a walk instead.”
* * *
Once Kate had left, the thought of ordering herself a Cosmopolitan floated into Jamie’s mind, but then departed as quickly as it had landed. She didn’t need it. She didn’t need it at all. The walk would do the trick just fine, and she gathered her belongings and headed out.
As she meandered towards the end of the port, she took her time to take in her surroundings, which, to be fair, were pretty damn amazing. The luxury marina was home to boats of all shapes and sizes, from small MasterCrafts used for wakeboarding to luxury motor yachts, belonging to the rich or famous, or decidedly infamous. You never knew who you might bump into. Glamorous boutiques and an endless supply of cute cafés and chic restaurants attracted people from all over the world, and Jamie was struck by just how different her life was back on the island. She was surrounded by people who didn’t live by the normal rules, people who paved their own paths, and that was exactly what she was doing now too—paving a new path for herself and Madison. As she reached the end of the marina, she decided to head towards the sea wall instead of the beach. It would be quieter there, plus she’d get an unobstructed view of the sea.
The path along the wall itself was deserted, and as she walked, she noticed everything from the jet skis making their mark across the waves like white lines of frothy fizz, to the solitary couple on top of the tiny, rocky island just across the way. Reaching the end of the wall, Jamie carefully eased herself down onto the flat side of one of the large, multifaceted boulders and stared out to sea. Closing her eyes, she filled her lungs with the fresh salty air as the glorious Mediterranean sunshine warmed every inch of her body. And then, slowly, she exhaled, and in that one breath it was as if all the stresses of the past year had been released and she realised she was smiling. She did that a lot these days. Her job was amazing. Madison was deliriously happy being back on the island. And she was happy, too. More than happy; she was free.
As she gazed at the vast blue expanse where the sky merged with the sea, Jamie felt peace. The sun cast golden ripples across the surface of the water. This was home. This little slice of paradise was where she lived. She wanted to pinch herself. How had she ever doubted it? The beautiful island offered everything she’d ever needed, ever really wanted, but she just needed to learn that for herself. It had taken going back to London to realise how empty that existence was, how much the modelling was destroying her, how the pace of life was just too frantic. Although one good thing had come out of it, and that was meeting Karl.
Since their afternoon together scouring the bustling area of Shoreditch, they’d found a real connection. The narrow streets had been alive with activity, cool coffee shops and small boutiques alongside incredible street art. Somewhere between the exploration and the conversation, she’d encountered a different sort of chemistry from the one she usually had with men. Karl wasn’t like any man she’d ever met before. She loved that she didn’t have to play games with him. He was just there for her in a way that she’d never experienced. And whilst she couldn’t see him as often as she’d been able to in London, she’d miraculously grown to care for someone of the opposite sex for reasons other than sex. They were friends, and just thinking about him made her eyes sparkle.
Jamie was so deep in thought that she didn’t notice the man walking down the sea wall until he was right behind her. He stood in silence, also taking in the outstanding natural beauty that was before them. Unexpectedly, he cleared his throat, making her jump up; startled that the moment was no longer a solitary one. Wobbling precariously on the rocks, she lost her footing, and the man reached out a hand to steady her. Surprise turned to a flicker of excitement as she turned around to face him. His blonde hair flopped over his eyes and, whilst he definitely wasn’t in his twenties, there was something magnetic about him. He stepped back, realising he’d startled her and grinned, fine lines etching the corners of his eyes, further accentuating the rugged handsomeness of his face.
Hmmmm , she thought. Appropriate .
“I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to creep up on you,” he said, releasing his hold on her. His golden hair glimmered in the sunlight as he took a finger to flick it away from his eyes.
“Oh gosh, don’t worry. I’m the one that should be sorry, jumping up like that. I didn’t hear you.” Jamie returned her gaze back towards the sea. “Beautiful, isn’t it?”
“Breathtaking,” he said, and as she turned back around, she realised he hadn’t taken his eyes off her. A slight blush crept onto her cheeks and she smiled, noticing that when he smiled back, his whole face lit up in a way that was quite simply, irresistible.
“Hi, I’m Robert …”