Chapter 1
Chapter One
S ophia rushed down the busy sidewalk. The snow was falling in thick fat flakes, blurring her vision even more than the tears. The salty drops were almost freezing as they rolled down her cheeks.
The luggage she was pulling behind her held most of her belongings. The rest she’d arranged to have shipped later.
Her mother was gone.
How? Why?
Her brother’s call had sent her down a deep emotional spiral. It had taken less than a minute for the realization that her mother was really gone to sink in. She’d cried so much during her brother’s phone call, it had been hard to hear all the details.
She’d thrown most of her things into her suitcases and had headed to the airport, cursing all the miles and hours between her and her family and her decision to move to New York, all the way on the other side of the country.
Lucas had promised her that Avery was arranging for her flight home. She knew that he and Avery were busy with the restaurant and expecting their first child. They had tried IVF for a few years but never conceived. When they decided to stop trying to have children biologically and had started looking into adoption, Avery had surprisingly gotten pregnant.
With their mother gone, she knew that they might need her there more than ever. Her mother had been managing the restaurant while Avery and Lucas prepared for the birth.
Nothing would be the same without her mom. She stopped in the middle of the sidewalk and took a deep breath as she raised her face to allow snowflakes to mix with her tears.
Mom.
The pain in her chest almost caused her to double over.
How was she going to live without her? She had been her rock. Everything Sophia had ever dreamed of being. She’d been so strong. Healthy.
Why was she gone?
Lucas had told her the doctors believed it was a brain aneurysm. They would know more after they examined her.
She was really gone.
How was she supposed to go on alone?
Her phone buzzed in her pocket, shaking her mind from its downward spiral.
“Your flight leaves in two hours,” Avery said when she answered the call. “Are you at the airport yet?”
“I’m on my way inside now.” She picked up her pace. She’d been dropped off at the wrong end of the building and had to push her way through the flood of people leaving the baggage area.
She made her way through the doors and stepped into the hot, crowded building.
“I’ve sent your flight information to your phone. I was able to purchase your ticket under a bereavement condition so you can use the fast pass through security,” Avery said. “Lucas will be there to pick you up in Portland.”
“Okay,” Sophia said, shifting her carry-on bag as she scanned her ID at the kiosk to print out her ticket. “I’ve got my ticket. I’m heading to check my bags and then go through security.” She rushed to get in the next line. “Avery?”
“Yeah?”
“Tell me how.” She felt her eyes burn. “Lucas just said that he found her. That Doctor Stevens thinks it was a brain aneurysm.”
“Oh, honey, it was peaceful. She was asleep. When she didn’t show up for work, or answer our calls, Lucas drove over there. I swear to you, it was peaceful.”
She nodded and set her two larger bags on the scales, then handed her ticket and ID to the agent. The woman quickly checked her bags and handed her the claim tickets.
She could see the long line for security but headed to the pre-check line, where she was surprisingly the only person there. The security guard took one look at her ticket and ID and waved her through.
She set her carry-on and her phone on the conveyor belt. Avery stayed on the line while she walked through security.
“You still there?” she asked, tossing her bag over her shoulder.
“Yes,” Avery answered.
Just hearing her sister-in-law’s voice soothed her.
“I don’t want to get off the phone with you,” she said as she stepped onto the escalator.
“Then don’t. I’m here,” Avery said.
“How are you?” Sophia asked out of the blue. “How’s the baby?”
“We’re doing fine,” Avery said, her tone getting softer.
Sophia could just imagine her rubbing her belly, and she smiled. Then she tripped slightly, which brought her back to reality, and more tears threatened to fall.
“What happens now?” Sophia asked.
“Now you come home, and we take each day together.”
A little over an hour later, Sophia found herself sitting in first class, heading home. The hum of the plane’s engines and the comforting weight of the blanket across her lap did little to quiet the whirlwind of emotions inside her. She sipped her water, staring out the window at the clouds below, her mind racing as the miles between her and the city disappeared.
Ten hours later, after a layover in Denver, she stepped off the plane in Portland. When she spotted her brother waiting near baggage claim, she walked straight into his arms. He hugged her tightly, his strong, steady presence grounding her in a way nothing else could.
“Welcome home, Soph,” he murmured, his voice thick with emotion.
The three-hour drive back to Pride stretched on longer than usual, thanks to the crawling early-morning traffic on Portland’s congested streets. The familiar landmarks they passed barely registered, as her exhaustion and the weight of why she was returning home pressed heavily on her.
When the truck finally crested the hill overlooking the town, the foggy morning air carried with it the distinct scent of saltwater and pine. Lucas pulled into the driveway of his home, and Sophia stepped out, the cool dampness clinging to her skin as she took in the view of Pride’s coastline nestled beneath the mist.
Avery met her at the front porch, her face lighting up with a welcoming smile. Sophia hugged her tightly, the warmth of her sister-in-law’s embrace easing some of the tension she hadn’t realized she’d been holding.
“It’s good to have you back,” Avery said softly, pulling back to look at her. Her sister-in-law’s large belly had her smiling. She looked healthy and happy, even through the difficult times.
Sophia managed a small smile, but words failed her. Instead, she let the moment settle, the smell of the ocean mingling with the faint aroma of coffee wafting from the house.
Once inside, Lucas showed her to the guest room, a space she knew so well it felt like an extension of her own home. The fresh air, the comforting hum of family voices in the background, and the familiar rhythm of the waves breaking in the distance brought her a sense of calm she hadn’t felt in months.
But as she curled up on the bed later, the quiet gave way to everything she’d been holding back. Tears she’d hoped had dried up began to flow freely again. The grief, the exhaustion, the relief of being back where she belonged—they all came crashing down at once.
Sophia hugged her knees to her chest, sobbing into the soft comforter as wave after wave of emotion poured out. Eventually, the tears slowed, her body exhausted. Sleep found her, pulling her under in a way that could only happen at home.
When she woke, it was dark outside again. She heard someone moving around in the kitchen downstairs and, after washing her face and using the bathroom, she headed downstairs to face what came next.
The only way she made it through the next hours and days was because of Avery’s and Lucas’s strength and support.
Avery helped her find a company that would go into the one-room apartment in the city that she’d called home and box up her things to be shipped to her.
She hated to cancel the rest of her classes, but she knew in her gut and heart that it was for the best. There wasn’t a chance in hell that she’d be able to focus on classes. Not now. Maybe never.
One morning, a week after they’d buried their mother in the cemetery on the hill that overlooked the town, her brother suggested that she move back into her and her mother’s home.
She hesitated.
Then it clicked that the guest room she was staying in was most likely the one they were going to be turning into the baby’s nursery. There were already a few boxes of baby items stacked in the corner of the room.
“Oh, sure,” she said, feeling stupid. Of course he and Avery wanted their privacy—needed it—before her niece or nephew arrived. “I’ll pack up and leave after breakfast.”
Lucas reached across the table and took her hand in his. “There is no rush.”
“You’re trying to get ready for the baby.” She felt her eyes start to water and shook her head to clear the dark thoughts. “Besides, I need to figure out what I’m going to do next. I don’t even know if I’ll be able to keep the house.”
“You will,” Lucas said easily. “Taxes and utilities will be on you, but the mortgage was paid off last year.” He smiled. “Mom busted her ass to pay it all to secure your future.”
She closed her eyes on the pain. “She was always thinking of us before herself.”
“I hope I’m half as good of a parent as she was,” Lucas said.
“Your both going to be amazing.” She squeezed his hand.
After breakfast, she packed her bags and had Lucas drive her to the beach house in Hidden Cove that her mother had bought when they’d first moved to Pride.
The two-story white cottage was smaller than most of the other homes in the neighborhood. It had three bedrooms and two full bathrooms upstairs and a small den or office space downstairs along with a living room, dining room, and kitchen. In her opinion, the house had far more charm than the ones that sat on either side of it.
The stone steps and pathway that led to the wide front porch were well lit and lined with flowers that grew in the spring. It was easily one of her favorite places on earth. It had a modern beach look with its black metal roof and dove-white paint.
Large black-framed windows and French doors gave each room lots of light during the day. The detached two-car garage sat slightly to the right at the front of the property. The lot was one of the smaller ones in the neighborhood, but they still had almost a full acre. The home sat in the middle of the lot, giving them plenty of space behind the building before the yard turned into soft sand and tall sea grass.
She waited while her brother unlocked the glass front door with his keys and then stepped onto the porch and out of the rain that was falling.
Lucas helped carry her things in and disappeared upstairs, no doubt to drop her bags off in her old room. She stood in the living room like a statue and looked around.
There was so much of her mother here. The house had seemed so small when she’d lived here before. Her mother had known how to fill a space. She’d been so vibrant. So full of spunk.
Even though most of the items in it were older or secondhand, she’d made it feel warm and like… home.
Being a single mother had hardened her, Sophia supposed. Before her brother returned down the stairs, the tears had blinded her and the pain of her loss doubled her over.
When her brother’s arms wrapped around her, she willingly melted against him.
“What am I going to do?” she asked between sobs.
“Live. It’s what she wanted. For you to just… be happy,” Lucas said into her hair.
“How?” she said into his chest. “How am I ever going to be happy without her? Without knowing she’s only a phone call or a text message away?”
“She was our rock.” Lucas sighed as his arms tightened around her.
When he stepped back, she noticed his eyes were as wet as her own.
“I love you,” he said, cupping her cheek.
She nodded and wiped her eyes with her sleeve. “Go to work. You’ll be late for the lunch crowd.” She squeezed his hand and released it.
“If you need anything…” he said.
She nodded quickly. “I’m good,” she said softly before he turned and left.
Out of habit, she hung her coat on the hook by the door and took off her boots. She put them on the mat next to her mother’s boots and slipped on her slippers, which her mother had kept by the door.
She stood for a moment before slowly making her way further into the house she’d called home for a while. This had felt like more of a home than the one in Edgeview where she’d grown up. That was due in part because of how welcoming the townspeople of Pride were towards them. The other reason, she supposed, was the soothing sound of the waves outside.
She walked down the hallway, past the small office her mother had used, and through the living room and kitchen that sat at the back of the home.
Opening the back glass doors, she took a deep breath and soaked in the crisp chilly salt air.
She wrapped her arms around herself and stepped out on the small deck, letting the sleet wash over her.
When her nose became chilled and the sleet turned into full-blown snow, she stepped back into the warmth of the house.
Her mother had always kept everything in the place tidy. A week after they’d moved there, they had gone together and purchased new-to-them used furniture for the entire home. They had a few older pieces, like her grandfather’s clock that sat by the fireplace, which was her only family heirloom from her mother’s side of the family.
She walked over to the fireplace and flipped on the gas, and the fire warmed up the space quickly.
Nothing had changed since she’d been here last. Had it been a full year? Christmas last year.
She’d missed coming home this year due to her classes. She should have made time. She’d planned a trip home for spring break. She had even purchased her tickets.
She stood on the bottom step of the stairs and glanced up. After taking a deep breath, she climbed them to stand directly outside of her mother’s room.
Her hand paused on the doorknob as she closed her eyes. She could perfectly see her mother’s room in her mind.
All of the walls had been stark white when they’d moved in. They’d saved money on the purchase by leaving them the basic color. That first year that they’d lived there, they had decorated and personalized each room to fit their personalities. They had painted her mother’s room a soft gray. Sophia had painted her walls a vibrant blue, one of her favorite shades.
For a moment, she thought about turning away from the door, just going to her own room and crying until she passed out from exhaustion.
An image of her mother smiling at her and telling her to take chances in life flashed in her mind. Her mother had encouraged her to go to New York for school when she’d had doubts.
Then she straightened her shoulders and opened her mother’s bedroom door.
The bed was made.
The bed where her mother had died.
Had Lucas made the bed or had Avery cleaned up?
Everything was in place. Perfect. Just the way her mother had kept it.
She sat on the edge of the bed and pulled one of the pillows up into a hug.
“Hi, Mom,” she said to the quiet room. “I’m sorry I wasn’t here.” Her voice cracked. Tears rolled down her cheeks, soaking the pillowcase. “I should have been here.” She closed her eyes and took a deep breath, smelling the clean scent of the fabric softener mixed with the floral scent of her mother’s favorite perfume.
It was the latter that had her collapsing onto the bed as the tears overwhelmed her.