Chapter Twelve #2
We set off for the CVS when Nina returned.
Even at dusk the July heat was stifling, and as Nina and I waited at the crosswalk, I realized she hadn’t spoken since we’d left the parking lot.
She stood beside me, staring straight ahead and chewing on her lip.
The Walk sign appeared, and I looped my arm through hers, hoping she’d loosen up, but when we made it to the sidewalk and she still hadn’t said anything, I couldn’t take the silence anymore.
“Nina, what is it?” I asked.
Nina opened her mouth, then hesitated. Strange. Nina never held back what she was thinking. “You’re going to be upset.”
Even stranger. “Seriously? You’ve never cared about upsetting me before.”
She gave me a sidelong glance as we neared the glowing red sign of the CVS. “I’ve been . . . getting this feeling around Alex.”
Here we go, I thought, sure my suspicions about her and Alex were about to be confirmed. I tried to keep it light and nudged her with my elbow. “Gross, Nina, I don’t need to hear about your lady boner.”
“God, Jo, not like that.”
Now I was really worried. Since when did Nina not find boner jokes funny? “Okay. What kind of feeling do you get around him? Indigestion?”
We pushed through the doors of the CVS and stepped into searing fluorescent lights. Nina moved in the direction of the household items and pulled me into the aisle. She stopped, tucked a roll of paper towels under her arm, and faced me full on.
“I’m only going to bring this up once. And before I say anything, know I’m only doing this because I love you.”
“Okay . . . ,” I said, wondering what I’d done that Nina needed to have this big talk with me.
“I know I’ve teased you a lot about Alex,” she said. “And it was a joke at first, but I think there may be something more between you two.”
Nina paused, her eyes hesitant, and I examined the rolls of toilet paper on my right. “I don’t know what you mean.”
“Really, Jo? You have no idea?”
Of course I knew where she was going with this, she’d been teasing me about it all summer. But that was a joke, like she’d said. I didn’t like this serious version of Nina. What did she expect me to say?
Nina looked me up and down, then grabbed a second roll of paper towels. “You’re both clearly into each other.”
“You’re seeing things,” I said. “He told us he doesn’t date. And even if he did, you’ve got the wrong girl. If he’s so into me, why was he so interested in you coming to the Zefron-a-thon, huh? Maybe you’re projecting your feelings onto me.”
“Don’t be ridiculous. You know I’d never date someone who drives a minivan.
I can’t tell you why he cared so much about me tagging along.
What I do know is he can’t take his eyes off you.
You know what he talks about when I’m on service?
You. And I hate to break it to you, Jo, but you’ve been sending out some strong signals too. And I know—”
I laughed. “Now who’s being ridiculous? The only signals I’m familiar with are the deckhands’ arm signals for anchoring, not exactly seductive.” I swung my arm right, then left, then above my head. “See? I’m not even good at them.”
“Can you stop joking around for a minute and let me finish?”
I let my arm drop to my side. “Fine, go ahead.”
“You say you’re done with love. And if you truly want to be single forever, that’s fine. I support that. It’s me, after all. But I don’t think you really want to be alone. I think you’re scared. And I know Alex says he isn’t into relationships, but I’m not so sure that’s a hard-and-fast rule.”
I stared at her. Okay, sure, I was attracted to Alex. According to Greyson, many women were. But that didn’t change anything. “We’re just friends,” I said. “Good friends. And I’m not scared. Or alone. I have you, don’t I?”
“You know what I mean.” Nina grabbed my hand, her expression so sincere I had to look away. “I normally wouldn’t butt into your love life, you know that. But Alex isn’t like Peter. Whatever’s between you two is . . . different.”
“You’re right. Because we’re just friends. I don’t know what’s gotten into you, but this is ridiculous.”
“Is it? Because every time you’re around him you’re laughing.
I don’t remember that with Peter. And if you do have feelings for Alex, I think you should give it a shot.
I know it’s scary to bring someone into your life when nothing’s guaranteed.
I know Peter really fucked you up, and you’ve lost so much already—your dad, Samson—”
“Nina, stop.” I pulled my hand from hers. “Just leave me alone, okay?” Talking about Shitty Peter was bad enough, but she’d gone too far bringing up Dad and Samson. Blood rushed in my ears, drowning out the pop music playing softly overhead.
Between Nina’s unicorn earrings, the sequined fanny pack, the sassy mom tee, and the smell of vomit in my hair, I wasn’t sure if I wanted to laugh or scream. Nina nodded and walked down the aisle away from me and out of sight.
Fine, leave, then, I thought. I found the snack and beverage aisle, my breathing shallow and fast. Suddenly, everything in this CVS reminded me of Samson.
The Mountain Dew Code Red Beth wouldn’t let him drink, but which I kept stocked in my fridge whenever he came to visit.
The sweet-chili-flavored Doritos the girls didn’t like, but he did.
Samson, who should be here tonight, jumping out from behind one of those ridiculous statues at Coral Castle to scare his sisters.
I wrenched open a refrigerator door and grabbed as many water bottles as I could carry.
I needed to get out of here as quickly as possible, whether or not Nina came with me.
I made my way to the registers, spotting Nina’s dark ponytail flicking behind her. At the sight of her, my anger dissipated. How had my night gone from singing Beyoncé to fighting with my best friend in a CVS? She was only trying to help. And was she really wrong? About my feelings for Alex anyway?
Nina set the paper towels on the counter along with a car air freshener, some Lysol wipes, and a box of trash bags. When I caught up to her, I dumped the water bottles beside the other items. “I’m sorry.”
Nina looked at me, and I was relieved to see she wasn’t angry, only sad. “Me too.”
We paid for our items, quiet until we left the CVS and started the walk back to Coral Castle. The night was growing darker around us. Streetlamps kicked on, flooding the sidewalk in yellow light.
“I’m sorry for getting so upset,” I said.
“I shouldn’t have pushed.”
I kept my eyes on the sidewalk, counting the cracks as we walked.
“It’s only . . . I don’t know how I feel about anything right now.
Not really. I haven’t let myself think about Alex in that way because it feels wrong.
Not that he feels wrong. I can’t go falling in love, or whatever, when Beth is .
. .” I shook my head, unable to finish the thought. “I’m not making sense, am I?”
“You’re making sense. But do you really think your sister would be upset about you having something good in your life?”
“I don’t know.”
“I think you do.”
Nina was right that I couldn’t imagine Beth being upset. But this wasn’t about Beth. It was about me. How could I forgive myself for moving on with my life when Beth was stuck? How could I leave her behind?
We dropped the subject as we neared the entrance to Coral Castle. The girls sat on their bags and talked about alien conspiracy theories, and Alex stood nearby, expression serious as he stared at the limestone walls.
“Finally,” Mia said when she saw us. “Alex won’t let us go in without you guys. What took so long?”
“We needed supplies.” I held up the bags on my arms.
“I’ll clean your car,” Alex said. He took the bag of cleaning supplies and walked away before I could get a word out.
Nina leaned in close to me and sniffed. “We need to deal with your hair situation.”
I handed Nina two bottles of water and flipped my head down, yelping when she poured the frigid water over me.
As she rinsed my hair, Mia and Kitty filled us in on everything we missed in the fifteen minutes we’d been gone, explaining how the event planner, a blond woman in an I believe in aliens T-shirt, had come to unlock the gate soon after we’d left.
“She did that forearm-touching thing to Greyson’s dad,” Mia said. “Which means she only wants one thing.”
Greyson, back in her usual good humor, smacked Mia on the arm. “That’s my dad you’re talking about! You’re gonna make me hurl again.”
I was pretty sure she was joking, but took a step back, just in case.
Alex returned carrying a backpack on each shoulder and wheeling a cooler behind him.
“Yes!” Nina raised her hands to the sky. “I knew I could count on you to bring food.”
“That’s not all,” Alex said. He let one bag drop from his shoulder and dug through the other, pulling out three thermoses. “Coffee.” He passed one to me and one to Nina. “Yours is decaf, Jo. It’s for psychological comfort only.”
I took a sip and closed my eyes. “I’ll give you this, you make a good cup of coffee.”
Alex shook his head at me. “I’m a Michelin-starred chef who has cooked you literally dozens of meals, and you compliment me on my drip coffee?”
“What? I didn’t say your other food wasn’t good. I’ve just got priorities, and coffee is one of them.”
We hauled our bags through the limestone gate of Coral Castle, which was even weirder in person than it had seemed online.
Other than a small tower in one corner, Coral Castle was an open-air courtyard filled with bizarre statues and furniture, all made from limestone.
We set our things in an area called the Grotto of the Three Bears, where limestone chairs circled a rock that had been hollowed out in the center.
Nina turned on a camping lantern, and the rest of us unfurled our sleeping bags.
Kitty ran a hand over one of the limestone chairs. “This place is freaky.”
Mia grinned at her sister. “I hear it’s haunted.”