Chapter Sixteen
Sixteen
“You’ll be fine, Aunt Jo,” Kitty said. “You just have to think of your anxiety as something that’s trying to help you. That’s what Dad said when I was practicing for the school play, and it worked. It’s science.”
“You didn’t get a part,” Mia said.
“But I wasn’t as nervous,” Kitty said, shooting Mia a dirty look.
Mia ignored Kitty and turned to me. “If you can jump out of a plane, you can sing karaoke. Even if you suck, it’ll at least be entertaining,” she said, which didn’t console me at all. She pushed me again and added, “Will you hurry? You’re making us look like weirdos.”
The girls shoved me inside and led me through the restaurant.
Karaoke hadn’t started yet, but the place was filled with noise.
All this time I’d imagined a dinky little stage, like the kind bars sometimes had for live music.
But this was the stage of a grand production, complete with an array of lights that danced out across the room, making me feel as if I’d stepped into a rave, not a restaurant.
It had a real party atmosphere, which shouldn’t have surprised me, seeing as Nina chose it.
I preferred the comfort of a dimly lit dive bar, but Nina would never allow me to check off this item somewhere unphotogenic.
My stomach flipped at the thought of my performance being photographed, or even worse, recorded.
But there had to be documentation for the blog, otherwise what was the point?
And even if the blog hadn’t been a factor, how likely was it I could convince my best friend to not record what would be my one and only foray into the performing arts?
It wasn’t hard to find Nina, who, in a sparkly red minidress, looked like a bow on top of a present.
Her hair was as over-the-top as the rest of her, transformed from its usual sleek high ponytail into a beehive, though she still wore the same dangling unicorn earrings.
I felt too casual in the dress I’d bought for item number ten (short, tight, blue, expensive), though it wasn’t casual at all.
I could already predict Nina would complain about me wearing it again.
But at least I hadn’t left my hair in its usual limp curtain.
Mia had curled both my and Kitty’s hair into soft waves with a curling iron I hardly ever used.
I’d taken a selfie with the girls and sent it to my sister, the first contact I’d had with her since she told me about Mark moving out.
I pushed the thought of that away. I couldn’t let the girls sense something was wrong.
I’d promised Beth, and, besides, I wanted them to have as many happy moments as possible before finding out.
The table Nina had chosen was, predictably, beside the stage. Nina, surprisingly deft in stilettos for someone who spent most of her time barefoot, raced over when she spotted me.
“I can’t believe you showed!” She squeezed me as if she hadn’t seen me in weeks, though it had been less than twenty-four hours since she’d left the condo after returning from her walk with the girls.
“Of course I showed. It’s for the list,” I said, and at Nina’s skeptical look added, “I tried to get out of it, but Mia and Kitty wouldn’t let me.”
Nina held me at arm’s length and looked me up and down. “Trying to squeeze every last dollar out of that dress, huh?”
“It cost five hundred dollars!”
“So you’re at what? A dollar per wear now?”
I flicked at one of her unicorn earrings. “Are you sure you want to fight about wearing something too often?”
Nina cupped the earrings in her hands. “These are different. One, they’re accessories. And two, they’re my signature item. It’s impossible to overwear a signature item.”
“This is my signature item!” I said, gesturing to the dress.
Nina sighed. “You’re impossible, Josephine.”
All week, me, Nina, and the girls had practiced songs by looking up the karaoke versions on YouTube and singing them in the condo activities room.
I’d even chosen a song and practiced it a few times: “What Is Love?” Easy, accurate, no talent needed.
But the lyrics fell out of my head at the sight of the stage looming before me.
Not great, considering most of the lyrics were in the title.
I sat at the table, which was three tables pushed together. “Nina, I don’t think we need this many seats. There’s only six of us, right?” I looked up at her, but she examined her nails and pretended she hadn’t heard me. “Nina!”
“What? I can’t let your performance go unappreciated by those who love you!”
Oh God, I thought, wondering who she’d invited to this shindig. “You should’ve asked me!”
She pulled me to my feet. “We need to get a drink in you. Mia, Kitty, you watch the table.”
At the bar, Nina ordered us each a rum and Coke. “Drink it!” she demanded, and shoved the glass into my hands.
“How many people did you invite?”
“Just a few friends.”
“Define ‘a few.’ ”
Nina stirred her drink with her straw. “Only us, Alex and Greyson, which you knew about. And Ollie—”
“You invited Ollie?”
Nina ignored the comment. “And Captain Xav . . . and maybe RJ.”
“RJ? Since when are we friends with deckhands?”
“Speaking of.” Nina waved toward the entrance, where Captain Xav and RJ walked through the door. Why hadn’t I pushed harder for Applebee’s?
Nina flicked at my rum and Coke with a finger. “Hurry up and finish that. You’ll need it to get on that stage.”
I finished my rum and Coke and set the glass on the bar top.
I had no intention of getting onstage until well into the night.
I needed all the time I could get to find my courage (and for everyone else to get a little drunk).
When the DJ announced that karaoke would begin in half an hour, I turned back to the bar and ordered two tequila shots.
“Make that three,” Nina said.
“Three?”
She booped my nose. “One for you, and two for me.”
By the time we returned to the table, Ollie had arrived.
I circled the table to greet everyone and took my seat beside Nina.
Alex and Greyson were still missing, which was a relief.
I didn’t need to keep embarrassing myself in front of him.
But as soon as we ordered appetizers, Greyson appeared at the table.
I didn’t recognize her at first. Not because her looks had changed, but because she seemed totally unlike herself.
She kept her eyes on the floor and trudged past us before sitting beside Kitty, all without uttering a single word.
Nina and I gave each other a look that said, Has Greyson been replaced by a reptilian?
“Sorry we’re late.” Alex took the empty chair beside me, and though he wore a smile, a line of worry creased his forehead when he glanced down the table at Greyson.
“Is everything all right?” I asked.
“Huh?” Alex looked at me, seeming more anxious than when Greyson had gotten sick in the parking lot of Coral Castle.
“You seem . . . stressed,” I said, wondering if this had something to do with the woman I’d seen at his apartment the night before.
Alex flashed a smile that didn’t quite reach his eyes. “Oh, nothing. Tired.”
Other than the day after my dinner party, I’d never seen Alex tired.
Not even after a long shift on the boat.
He had as much energy as Greyson did, though the vibe coming from her tonight was .
. . concerning. I was tempted to push him but thought better of it.
If he didn’t want to tell me, maybe I didn’t want to know.
Before long karaoke began, and Nina was right, I’d needed the shot and the rum and Coke.
My stomach wound itself tighter as I watched person after person take the stage.
Sure, I could sing in the galley or the man van with Alex, or in the condo with the girls, but this was different.
I’d never been shy, but stage fright had plagued me ever since my kindergarten Halloween pageant, when, dressed as a pumpkin, I froze in the middle of my solo and threw up on the kid next to me.
My anxiety wasn’t helped at all by Alex, who drummed his fingers on the table as he stared vacantly at the stage and shot occasional glances Greyson’s way.
Nina elbowed me after the first few performances. “Go put your name in!”
I shook my head. “Let me eat dinner first. I can’t perform on an empty stomach.” Though given my history with singing and puking, maybe I should. Nina rolled her eyes, then left to put her name in. Mia, Kitty, and even Greyson, who still looked miserable, followed her.
I busied myself by taking photos of the stage, the friends around me, the restaurant, my food.
When the DJ called Nina’s name, she strutted across the stage as if she owned it.
She was no Whitney Houston, but she wasn’t bad either.
Her enthusiasm more than made up for any lack of talent. Ollie couldn’t take his eyes off her.
I leaned over to Alex. “What is cake by the ocean? Is that a drug?”
“You’re joking, right?” And when he realized I wasn’t, he laughed for the first time all evening. “Uh, it’s sex on the beach.”
“Like the drink?”
Alex stirred his drink with his straw. “Kind of, but the song is about, uh, actual sex on the beach.”
“Oh,” I said. My cheeks felt hot all of a sudden, and I turned back to the stage, where Nina seemed to be singing directly to Ollie.
When Nina returned, Mia and Kitty took to the stage, singing a pop song I only vaguely recognized but that Alex and Nina knew all the words to, of course.
I videoed their performance and sent it to my sister.
Wish I was there, Beth responded, and my heart ached for her.
I wanted nothing more than for her to be beside me so I could make her laugh, or let her cry on my shoulder.
I’d get up onstage and sing a thousand songs if I thought it would make her feel better.