Chapter 25
ANSWERS LEADING TO MORE QUESTIONS IS THE WORST
RAYA
“So tell us about your family, Asher," Mom says, eyebrows politely lifted as she steps directly into the pile of shit I had been most hoping to avoid. My face pales, and Jo notices immediately, eyes shifting between the two of us as I clench my hand onto his.
He clears his throat and takes a sip of water before answering.
“Truthfully, I’d rather not talk about them," he says. His voice is slow and careful as he attempts to navigate a topic full of landmines. “We don’t exactly see eye to eye.”
It’s clear no one in my family likes this answer, and my sister has no qualms about poking the beast.
“Why not?” she demands.
Asher clears his throat, and I interrupt.
“Jo, don’t.” I turn to Asher, “You don’t have to talk about them if you don’t want to.”
“Are they dangerous?” my dad asks, and when I avert my eyes, Jo pounces.
“Oh, we most definitely do need to talk about this.”
My eyes dart to each member of my family, noticing how even Wesley has stopped eating to eye Asher. I open my mouth again, ready to deflect, but Asher squeezes my knee. A blank wall coming down over his eyes gives him a look of resolved detachment.
“I was born Asher Walton, son of Claude and Estelle Walton," he says, and my sister’s fork slams to her plate while my mother’s knuckles turn white around hers.
He nods and rolls his lips between his teeth before continuing.
“I see you’ve heard of them. I changed my last name to Sullivan when I moved out at eighteen, and did everything I could to cut myself off from them. I don’t agree with their way of life.”
“And they let you go?” Mom asks, suspicion coloring her tone.
Asher drops his eyes from hers.
“Not exactly. They’re still trying to convince me to rejoin the family. Or at least, I assume they are. Anytime they find a new way to contact me, I delete without reading it. They have been reaching out more lately, but nothing has come of it.”
“How will you ensure that our Raya stays safe?” my dad asks. He puts a hand on Josephine’s arm when she clenches her fists on the table.
“Her safety is my top priority, followed closely by her happiness. I would never put Raya in danger. I haven’t seen my family in years, and if I thought for even a moment that they’d harm her because of me, I’d end them.
” His voice is laced with steel, his eyes are cold and hard on my dad’s, and the rigid line of his body demonstrates exactly how serious he is.
My dad nods once, slowly, letting the silence stretch with his eyes locked onto Asher’s, then nods again at whatever he sees in Asher’s gaze.
He leans back in his chair, and the release of tension ripples around the table as everyone relaxes.
Jo remains suspicious, but Wesley returns to his food.
I exhale a sigh of relief as tingles rush down my arms, trailing light grey fur in their wake.
“Raya?” my mom’s hawklike attention is on me now. “I thought you had your shifting under control, dear.”
“I mean,” I gulp, “I do, mostly. It’s just every so often it gets the better of me still.” My face heats with embarrassment and shame.
Asher leans in, his hand on my thigh again and his lips close to my ear so my family can’t overhear, even with their enhanced shifter hearing.
“Deep breaths, sunshine. You’ve got this," he says, and I lock my eyes onto his as I take a steadying breath. Then another.
With a slow exhale, the fur pulls back into my skin and I look back to the table to see my parents both with slight smiles on their faces, my mom nodding in approval. My sister is indecipherable at this moment, whereas my brother looks downright confounded.
“What type of shifter even are you? Are you adopted?” He turns to our parents. “Is Raya adopted?”
“Stars above, Wesley. What is wrong with you?” Josephine explodes at him, and I sit back in my seat, astonished. That never occurred to me, but before it can even settle into my thoughts, Dad is already shaking his head.
“No, she’s not adopted,” he says. “She’s special.”
Special, when all I’ve wanted was to be normal, to fit in, to belong.
I hoped that by gaining my ability to shift, I’d finally be accepted, but if my brother’s reaction is anything to go by, that isn’t any more likely to happen now than it was before.
Now, instead of being the shifter freak who can’t shift, I’m the shifter freak who shifts too much.
My parents exchange a significant look.
“What is it? What’s that look?” I say, voice urgent.
When they don’t answer, my sister pipes up.
“Well? We all know you’re hiding something now, so you might as well come clean.”
My dad folds his hands on the table and looks down at them as my mom shakes her head, then takes a deep breath and straightens her spine.
“Are you sure you want to do this now?” Mom asks, eyes going to Asher sitting next to me.
“Yes," I say, taking his hand in mine, not caring if he overhears my business. I’ve wanted answers my whole life, and I’m not about to wait any longer if they’re finally within my grasp.
“We don’t know anything for sure. All we have are guesses," she says, and I lean forward.
“You were born on the summer solstice, Raya," Dad says. “Not only that, but it was also at the height of the new moon.”
“Ooookay. So what?” Jo voices my exact thoughts.
“We looked into it once you started shifting,” he continues, “and not only was it the day of the solstice and new moon, but somehow you were born at the exact height of both events, while they were in eclipse.”
“Wait, what?” This time it’s my brother who voices my thoughts.
“We checked your official time of birth, then looked into the astronomical records of both events. It’s well documented that shifters respond to the moon and other celestial anomalies in unique ways.
I thought I remembered there was an eclipse that day, and I was right.
When you started shifting after your birthday last year…
Well, we were trying to find any explanation we could, and this is where it led.
We don’t know what it means, but it does seem significant. ”
“Okay, but…” I trail off. “Sorry, what? I mean, solstice and new moon, eclipse. Sure. But what does the “height of events” or whatever mean?”
Mom takes another slow breath before beginning again.
“Alright. You’ve all heard of the summer solstice.
” As her eyes circle the table to see everyone nodding, she continues.
“We normally consider it to be a full day, but in reality, it’s a moment.
In the summer, it is the moment in which our specific location on Earth is most tilted toward the sun, recorded down to the minute.
The exact minute you were born, Raya, was on the summer solstice for our location that year. ”
My skin starts to pebble and the hair on my arms stands on end. That’s a wild coincidence already, and my parents aren’t done yet.
“When we checked further, it turns out the new moon was at its zenith at that exact moment in time too, creating a perfect eclipse. We all know the moon is essential to shifters; we respond to its call no matter our animal, and celestial events have always been important to our kind. It makes sense that this could be why your animal is different.”
“Does that mean there could be others like her?” Jo asks.
Dad nods slowly, his eyes full of concern as he takes in my baffled expression.
“We think so. We found a few historical records of shifters with otherwise unheard of abilities—invisibility, partial shifting, communicating with animals—but not much information is out there. They also seem to be linked to astronomical events, but just as we haven’t gone around proclaiming your struggles, it’s doubtful others would either. ”
I can’t do more than blink. This is impossible. For a shifter, out of everyone on earth, to be born, down to the minute, during an eclipse on the solstice… what are the chances? I can’t even fathom doing that math, but the probability must be astronomically low.
I snort, and everyone’s eyes lock onto me in astonishment.
“Sorry, bad pun," I say, pointing to my temple. “In my head.”
Even Wesley looks concerned for my mental welfare now.
I stare at my reflection in the window across from me.
I have no idea what any of this truly means, or what additional impacts there could be, or if there’s anything to be done about any of it at all.
Everything is still up in the air, and while I have some possible answers, I also have more unknowns.
Fantastic.
Asher’s hand squeezes mine, bringing me back to reality. I blink my eyes to refocus, noting the increased concern on everyone’s faces as they stare at me.
“Okay, well," I say, then stop when I don’t know what else to say.
My sister swoops in, coming to my rescue as usual. “That’s enough of that, I think. Let’s give Raya some time to let it all sink in. Dessert, anyone?”
I offer a shaky smile, hoping it’s enough to reassure them for now.
While Asher drives me home, my reflection stares back at me from the window.
Average brown eyes, blonde hair in relaxed waves, no outward signs to hint at the confusing information that has rocked the foundation of who I am.
It seems like there should be something to show how unmoored, how detached I feel.
I’m unsure who I am or what any of this weird phenomena means about me.
When we pull up to my building, my body is on a slight delay. I open my car door after Asher has already closed his and is rounding to my side of the vehicle. It takes me an extra moment to remember to move my body to step out of the car.
I wait as Asher punches in my code to open the door, grateful he remembers it because I’m pretty sure I wouldn’t be able to. His hand is light on my lower back as he guides me inside, waiting for the elevator to take us up to my floor.
As the doors close in slow motion, I turn my body toward Asher. His lips are moving, and sound trickles into my ears like it’s coming through a long tunnel.
“Raya?” he says, and I notice the deep lines etched around his eyes and mouth. “Raya, sunshine. Can you hear me?”
I nod, and my head feels a little less muddled, but still slow.
Am I nodding correctly?
“Are you okay?”
“Mm’kay," I mumble. My lips don’t want to move properly.
“Shit.” His curse is low, and I’m pretty sure it’s not aimed at me, but I try to frown anyway. I feel my head tilt as I contemplate it.
“Where’s your key?” he asks, and I fumble with my purse, but manage to pull my keys out. The world is starting to come back to me now, as we walk slowly down the hall toward my apartment.
“I’m okay," I say, partly to Asher, but also in an attempt to convince myself. I can feel my feet hitting the ground and time speeds up in a rush, coming back to me all at once and bringing me to a sudden halt.
“That was weird. So weird. I felt, I don’t know, fuzzy all over inside my head. I think it was shock or something.”
Asher’s hand hasn’t left my body, whether supporting my arm or back or holding my hand, he’s not left my side for a single moment. We step up to my door and he looks down at me, then speaks softly.
“I know your roommate doesn’t like me, but can I come in and make sure you’re okay? I won’t stay if you don’t want me to.”
I’m already shaking my head. That’s a terrible idea, and not only because Zuri would probably accuse him of drugging me or something, but because Reverie will be there too. I have to warn him first, make sure he’ll keep our secret before I trust him with such precious information.
“No, I don’t think that’s a good idea. Zuri should be home, she’ll make sure I’m okay," I say, cringing at the hurt that flashes through his eyes.
His lips thin, but he doesn’t push the issue.
“Text me when you’re in bed?” he asks.
I raise my eyebrows and his ears turn pink. It’s adorable, I love it when I manage to needle him a bit.
“That’s, no.” Asher rakes a hand through his hair and I giggle. “That’s not what I meant. Just so I can make sure you’re okay. That’s all.”
“I know.” I grin up at him so he knows I’m not mad, then sigh as he gathers me into a hug against his chest.
“You sure you’re okay?”
“I’m sure. Thank you for taking care of me. I’m glad you were there for all of that tonight," I say, and his body softens at the vulnerability in my voice.
“I’ll always be here for you, sunshine. Always," he says.
Unlocking the door, I turn back to him one last time as I step inside.
“See you tomorrow.”