Chapter 35 HER
HER
ASHER
“It’s you.”
I’m not sure if I speak out loud or not, but somehow through the blood roaring in my ears, I hear Raya’s distant reply.
“It’s… me?”
I have her hand clenched in mine, and I quickly loosen my grip, then push it back into her lap and let go entirely.
I look away from her questioning gaze, unable to meet her beautiful eyes right now with my inner beast barely leashed.
My vampiric urges are riding me hard after that fleeting taste of her, telling me to take, to conquer, to own.
The vampire inside thinks it needs to drain her dry or risk never having another taste again, and that’s a dangerous thought to even acknowledge.
It’s exactly the type of heinous mentality my parents tried to torture into me.
The treachery I gave into too many times after weeks of starvation at their hands.
I need to get myself under control.
Immediately.
Spearing my hands through my hair, I squeeze my eyes shut as I turn my upper body away and tilt my face to the ceiling, then employ nearly every single coping mechanism I taught Raya all those weeks ago.
I focus on my breathing, the soft sheets and firm mattress pressing against my body.
I fist my hands in my hair, taking note of the slight sting in my scalp as I remind myself the monster doesn’t rule me, then relax my muscles with an exhale.
It barely helps, but slowly I’m able to regulate myself and reign in the cursed urges.
“Ash?”
I take one last deep breath before tipping my head back down to meet her eyes.
“What’s going on? Are you okay? You don’t have to do this if you don’t want to, or if it’s, I don’t know, bad. Or something.”
Her cheeks turn adorably pink as she inspects the lingering cuts on her hand, avoiding my gaze. I wish I could knock some sense into myself when I realize what my reaction must have looked like to her.
“No, sunshine.”
I reach a hand out, intending to turn her face back to me, but I hold back, turning it into a fist that I drop in my lap instead. I don’t quite trust myself to touch her yet. Not until I’m sure my inner vampire won’t break free.
“Raya, please look at me.”
Her confused eyes peek up at me from beneath long, dark lashes.
“I want to heal you more than anything, please believe me, but—” I shove a hand through my hair again, wondering how to tell her I’ve been obsessed with her blood since before I knew her. “Your blood, it tastes incredible.”
Her eyes pop wide, and I rush to explain.
“I don’t know what it is. I’ve never tasted anything like it, except for one time. Months ago…” I trail off, eyes searching hers as her brow furrows and her head tilts a little more than is normal for most people.
“Did you give blood before we started working together?” I ask.
“I did…” Raya replies, eyes narrowed in confusion, but I’m already nodding.
“Well, somehow I ended up with it.”
Raya’s eyes flare again and her eyebrows shoot up. She shakes her head, but doesn’t say anything. I don’t blame her, it’s such a wild coincidence I can hardly believe it myself.
“I drank the whole bottle in one sitting and couldn’t get enough.
I even called the clinic to try to get more, and then when they said they had none, I hoped to get your information.
Of course, they said no, and I didn’t know it was you.
I don’t know what it is about you...” I trail off when I see her eyes shutter.
“Just another thing that’s wrong with me, I guess. The shifter freak.” Raya’s voice is full of self-deprecation, and she sighs, fisting her hands into her stomach.
“No, sunshine. You’re not a freak, and I’ll thank you for not talking about my girlfriend like that,” I say, mock sternness lining my voice.
She huffs, allowing me a crooked half-smile. I’ll take whatever I can get.
“I don’t even know how to process this. I figured it was a fluke.
The way you taste, it’s what I imagine a euphoric high must be like.
It’s unbelievable. Honestly, now that I know, it totally fits," I quickly continue, seeing her mind going back to the freak idea. “And not because there’s anything wrong with you. It fits because you smell so good, too. Your scent, it’s like sweet coconut and ripe strawberries on a hot summer day.
Now that I know, I can recognize those same undertones in your scent that I tasted in your blood. ”
I feel more steady now, so I reach out and pull her into my lap.
“And you smell so freaking good,” I say, nuzzling my nose into her neck until she giggles.
“Okay, so. What now?” Raya says.
I sigh and my shoulders slump.
“Honestly, I don’t know. Now that I know what to expect, I can heal you, but I’d rather we do it while fully clothed, at the very least. It can be hard to keep my urges contained, and your blood brings them out like nothing else.
I can’t believe I’m saying this but… less of your tantalizing skin showing might be a good idea, in this very rare circumstance. ”
Raya chews at the corner of her mouth, and I can practically hear her mind spinning.
“What if,” she speaks slowly, “I were to tell you that I want you to bite me?”
My body goes preternaturally still. I’m not even breathing at the thought of biting her, marking her, drinking from her.
“I mean, you said it can feel good, right? That you can make it feel good?”
Her bottom lip is caught between her teeth now as she twists to look up at me, renewed desire and hope swirling in her gaze.
“I did say that, yes.”
“So… what if you heal my hand, and then we…” She trails off, and her bedroom eyes are going to be the death of me. I can’t say no to her, and I don’t want to.
I clear my throat.
“Sunshine, please be sure. I need you to be absolutely positive before you agree to this. A vampire’s bite can bring immense pleasure, but it’s no small thing to allow me to bite you.
I also, well.” I pause to clear my throat again, not wanting to admit to this weakness, even though I know I must. “I don’t think I’ll be able to control myself if I bite you.
I won’t be able to stop myself from drinking. ”
Raya’s voice lowers and she whispers her reply.
“That’s exactly what I want.”
Fire burns through my veins and licks up my spine, lighting me from the inside as my cock surges to attention. Raya’s lips curve as she glances down and shimmies her perfect, round ass in my lap.
“I’d say that’s a yes?” she teases.
I have to hand it to her. This woman knows exactly how to get what she wants from me. I’m knotted around her little finger and I don’t give one shit. In fact, I’m quite happy to be there.
“Alright, little shifter,” I say, adjusting her in my lap so we’re facing each other. “I’ll grant your wish. I need you to do one thing for me though.”
“What’s that?” Her grin is mischievous as she looks up at me.
“I need you to shift your arm for me. Into a paw, or really anything with claws and the strength to move me if I am unable to let go.”
Her brows furrow and I want to punch myself for putting that disappointed look on her face.
“I trust you, Asher.” She places her hand on my cheek. “I know you won’t hurt me.”
“You can’t know that. This is new territory, and I nearly lost control from the smallest taste.
I need to know you can get through to me if things go sideways.
” I’m fairly certain I can contain myself now, my vampire having settled a bit with her willing submission, but I’d rather be safe than sorry.
“How about a safe word?” Raya angles her head at me.
“We can try that, but I still want you to shift. A last resort that hopefully we won’t need.”
“Alright. San Diego. That’s our safe word. I say San Diego, and you know I want to stop. Yes?”
“Yes. San Diego. Now, little shifter, show me those claws.”
Raya scrunches up her nose and I want to kiss her. I don’t yet, but I do trail my fingers over her neck. If she can’t do it with this tiny distraction, she won’t be able to when she really needs to.
“Ha!”
Raya laughs in triumph, holding up her hand.
It’s not completely transformed: instead of a paw, it’s still a human hand with her long, graceful fingers, but her skin has taken on the faint spotted design of a cheetah or leopard, some sort of jungle cat with spots.
What has me smiling with pride are the curled, wicked sharp claws. I nod in appreciation.
“That’ll do, little shifter. Now remember, I can easily heal myself, so don’t hold back.”
Raya rolls her eyes.
“Oh my gosh, you’re not going to hurt me. You’re healing me, remember?”
She holds up her injured hand between us with the back facing me, eyebrows raised and head tilted again. That sass is going to get her a spanking one of these days.
I snatch her hand from the air, giving her a warning look to behave herself. She grins in response, of course, but quiets when I stroke my fingers around the cuts.
“Ready?” I ask, eyes flicking to hers.
Raya nods. “I’m ready.”
I hold her gaze as I bring her hand to my mouth again, this time starting with a soft kiss, and she hisses in a surprised breath.
My fangs lengthen and my gums ache to bite, but I push the urge away.
So very slowly, I carefully run my tongue over each cut, ignoring the taste, avoiding my debauched thoughts, and focusing solely on my intent.
Heal. Heal. Heal.
As I lower her hand, the torn skin closes right in front of us. Raya sucks in a startled gasp and her eyes fly from her hand up to meet my gaze.
“That was amazing! I had no idea it would work that quickly.”
I smirk.
“Well. For one, I am from a very powerful bloodline.”
Raya gives me her most unimpressed look and I hold in an amused chuckle.
“Two, the more focus and intent, the more potent it is. Let’s just say I really, really wanted you to be healed and out of pain.”
Her eyes soften and she leans into my chest, then presses her delicious, soft lips to mine. I don’t waste a second, and quickly turn it into more, delving into her mouth and nipping at her tongue.
Raya has no patience, and I smile against her skin as she tugs my face down to her neck.
I pull back for a moment to roll on a condom, admiring her as I do.
She has her head turned to the side and her breathing is heavy, whooshing in and out of her lungs, pressing her breasts into my chest. I take my time peppering kisses, licks, and nips up and down her silky skin, from her jaw down to her shoulder and back again as she squirms in my lap.
“Ready, little shifter?” I whisper into the curve of her throat.
“Yes.” Her voice is even more breathy than mine.
I lick her neck, right over her pulse point, then my pointed fangs pierce her delicate skin, and my mouth fills with her blood.
Her exquisite, otherworldly blood.
We both moan, and I suck long and deep, eliciting another round of groans from us both. I force myself to pause for a breath, preventing my fangs from digging deeper and not allowing myself to take too much.
Raya isn’t having it, though. My feisty little shifter grumbles an incoherent protest and pulls my mouth further into her neck, angling it more and working her body until her legs are on either side of my hips with my cock lined up to her pussy.