Chapter 38 Is This Obsession?
IS THIS OBSESSION?
ASHER
“So,” I clear my throat, “was there something else you wanted to talk about?”
“Well…” she says, slouching in her chair. “I think we can both agree that we need to do something. You’re right, I don’t think I can keep working there, at least not long term. Not if Chadwick or your parents are there.”
I flinch when she calls them my parents. I know technically they are, that they’re my blood, but they’re not my family. She’s my family now, whether it’s official or not.
I want to tell her what I’ve been working on this week, the scheme to get me out from under their thumb once and for all.
I hate keeping things from her, but I’m not ready yet.
I haven’t fully faced what it would mean for me if it goes wrong.
My tentative plan could so easily backfire, and I fear I’d be trapped with them forever, unable to protect her.
“I’ve been working on a plan this week, something I think could get us out of this situation entirely.” I can at least share some of the background information with her, she deserves that much.
“Oh?” Her eyebrows jump and my heart thumps at the hope flooding her eyes.
“It’s not set in stone yet, I’ve got a couple last pieces I’m putting into place.
” I keep going before she can ask further.
“I found out Claude and Estelle bribed at least some of the board members, I’m not sure on all of them yet, but that’s how they came to be the new CEO’s.
They bought their way in. I wouldn’t be surprised if there were some threats involved as well. ”
Her eyes pop and I nod, pinching my lips.
“That’s…” she shakes her head. “Well, really not surprising at all, I guess.”
“No, it’s not.”
“You said you had a plan, though?”
“Raya, I need you to trust me. I’ll tell you when I have something more solid, but for now, I don’t want you involved. If they find out what I’m doing, if they catch wind of any of this, I don’t want you or your name anywhere near it. It’s too dangerous.”
“If it’s too dangerous for me, then it’s too dangerous for you too,” she whispers, her voice showing her panic.
I shake my head and squeeze her hand in mine.
“No, sunshine. They want me alive, they want me on their side. I’m not in nearly as much danger from them as you are. You, they wouldn’t think twice about hurting.” Or killing, or using against me.
Her eyes search mine, and I do my best to project calm confidence. I’m trembling on the inside thinking about what might happen if I fail, but I refuse to add any more worry or stress to her life right now. She’s already carrying enough.
“You promise you’ll stay safe?”
“I promise.”
She nods, but is still fidgeting, anxious. I pull her onto my lap, not caring that we’re in public, and she melts against me.
“Dinner? My treat,” I offer, hoping to take her mind off her worries, and not wanting to let her out of my sight yet.
“Sure.”
“Any place you’ve been wanting to go?” I ask.
“Oh my gosh, there’s that new place over on Oak down by the water. I heard their desserts are to die for.” Raya is practically bouncing in my lap and if she doesn’t stop, we’re going to have problems going anywhere respectable.
Her eyes turn to mine, wider than they were a moment ago, pleading and excited and hopeful. Does she seriously think I’d deny her anything at this point?
“Perfect. I’ll call for reservations. Do you want time to change, or should we head over there now?”
“Ummm, let me change first. My place is close so we can drop our stuff there if you want, and then walk down?”
“Perfect.”
I pull up the restaurant on my phone as I step outside to call, making a reservation for an hour from now. It gives us time for a leisurely stroll by the river, hot chocolate in hand, before we dump our cups and head inside.
After we’re seated and our drinks arrive, Raya holds her glass up for a toast.
“To hopeful plans and good food,” Raya says.
“To you, my sunshine,” I reply, clinking my glass to hers and taking a sip as her cheeks turn a delicious shade of pink.
I drop Raya off at her apartment after dinner.
She tries to protest, but when she started yawning while forking chocolate cake into her mouth, I decided it was going to be an early night.
We spend all day Friday working separately—me on my plan to oust Claude, Estelle, and Chadwick from PNCG, and Raya on her current client assignment—then she surprises me by showing up on my doorstep with an overnight bag.
I waste no time pulling her inside and latching my lips to hers, tossing her bag to the side and relishing her giggle as it cascades through me.
I ignore Milton’s protest at Raya not acknowledging him, too greedy for her myself.
We drown our worries in each other’s bodies, indulging in a night of slick skin on skin, lips and tongues endlessly tasting each other, and I end up sleeping better than I have all week.
Saturday morning, she invites me to her parents for family brunch the next day. It feels like things are moving forward, and thinking about what this could mean for me, that maybe I could have her, keep her—for real, forever—causes sweat to break out on my forehead and my heart to race.
Raya is all I’ve ever wanted, but avoided dreaming or hoping for.
I never thought there’d be a day when I’d meet someone who would accept me for who I am, despite my terrible family, my horrible past, and yet here she is.
Not only accepting me, but somehow burrowing her way deep into my dark heart and fractured soul so she’s always on my mind.
I can’t stop thinking about her, obsessing over her.
I carry her with me every moment of every day.
It’s infuriating when I have very delicate, dangerous, specific goals I’m trying to accomplish.
“What’s that scowl for?” Raya skips over to where I’m leaning back in a chair at my kitchen table, tilting her head and running her soft fingers over the crease between my eyebrows like she can erase it. I roll my eyes internally, because she basically can. One look and I’m done for.
I snake my arms around her waist and pull her into my lap, receiving a laughing shriek as she falls and burrows into me.
“What would you like to do with the rest of your Saturday?” I nip at her ear, relishing the slight uptick in her heart beat.
“Ugh,” she sighs. “I should head back to my place. I need to do laundry and it’s been too long since I’ve spent quality time with Reverie.”
My heart pangs, and helpless that I am, I almost offer to come over and do her laundry for her just so I can stay by her side and soak in her presence. I know she likes her space though, so I bite my tongue and squeeze her tighter for a moment instead before letting go.
“Alright, let’s get to it then. I suppose I’ll do some laundry while you’re gone too.”
I might as well be productive so I can ravish her when I get my hands on her again later.
Raya fidgets in the car as I drive her back to her apartment, and I glance at her from the corner of my eye, waiting for her to speak whatever is on her mind. She does, eventually.
“So, I was kind of thinking.”
“Mhm?”
I keep my eyes on the road and school my face to a neutral, hopefully non-threatening expression as she glances at me.
“Well. I know I’ve been spending a lot more time at your place.”
Poor thing, I hate seeing her nervous. I have an idea where this might be going, if she’s been thinking the same as me, so I suppose I can help her out.
“Ah, you want a drawer? I’ll clear out some space in my dresser and closet.”
Raya does a double take, and I catch her eyes blinking rapidly.
“No? A key? I’m happy to give you the spare for my place. In fact,” my brows furrow, “I should have done that already.”
“No!” Raya laughs now, clearly amused by my thoughtlessness. “I mean, yes to both of those, but that’s not what I was going to say.”
“Alright then, hit me with it, sunshine.”
“Well, I know Reverie gets lonely. So, I guess I was kind of hoping I could bring her with me sometimes?”
She has her hands clasped to her chest like she’s a child asking for a unicorn or something, and again, I can’t believe I hadn’t already thought of that and offered.
“Of course, Raya. Of course you can bring her over, whenever you or she wants. Reverie is always welcome.”
She slumps into the seat, her beautiful smile peeking out again.
“Oh my gosh, she’s going to lose it when I tell her.”
Her smile is beaming now, and my chest feels like it might burst. I want to bathe in the warmth of that smile every moment of every day.
“What can I get for her? What does she eat, drink? What about, like, sleeping arrangements or… I don’t know. I have no idea what she might want or need.”
Raya places her hand on my thigh and my muscle flexes at her touch. She circles her fingers up and down a couple times, clearly meant to be a soothing gesture that she doesn’t realize is doing much more to make my jeans feel tight than helping me relax.
“I’ll bring some stuff for her, don’t worry.
We have special cups and plates and such, mostly cute little tea sets.
She’ll bring clothes, and as far as sleeping, she likes to make her own little nest type thing.
She has one in my room and one in the living area, so I’ll bring one of them over to your place. I think she’ll be happy with that.”
I quirk an eyebrow as my eyes continue to scan the road and I flick on my blinker, trying to picture this nest she’s talking about.
“She sleeps in the plants, so you probably haven’t seen it.
She likes being surrounded by them, I think it’s calming?
Not sure. We’ve made a lot of guesses and best we can figure, since she’s basically a magical creature sprung into being by Mother Nature herself, she probably finds comfort in being so close to whatever nature we can safely provide her. ”
“Huh. Makes sense, I guess.”
I make a mental note to stop at the garden center on my way back home as I pull up to her building.
“Don’t get out, Reverie won’t let you leave if you come up with me.”
“Doesn’t sound like a problem to me.” I grin, and she wrinkles her nose at me playfully.
“Maybe not for you, but I have stuff I need to do!”
“Alright, alright. I’ll pick you up in the morning for brunch at your parents?”
“Yes, please.” Raya pecks far too quick of a kiss on my lips, and then hops out of the car before I can snatch her back for more, throwing a smirk at me over her shoulder as she saunters away.