Chapter 22 Sailor Moon
Sailor Moon
“I thought I heard voices,” Yua says. Like her mom, dark bags hang under her eyes.
Her rainbow hair stands up in the back like she just rolled out of bed.
Mrs. Matsumoto mentioned that Yua told her everything last night.
Now that I see how exhausted she is, I wonder if either of them have had enough sleep lately. “What’s going on?”
Mrs. Matsumoto stands up quickly, smoothing down her pant legs. “Nothing, Yua. Why don’t you go back to bed?”
But Yua’s not listening to her mother. Her gaze shifts over to me, and the corner of her mouth rises.
“Sorry I haven’t texted back, Lilyn. I’ve been asleep all day because Mum and I talked about everything last night.
I dreamed about you, you know. And then I woke up because I thought I heard you say my name. ”
I’m blushing and my ears are probably redder than the lipstick missing from Yua’s face.
I can’t help but curl my toes inside my boots.
I’ve daydreamed about what it would be like to be on someone’s mind like this.
To be so deeply embedded in their thoughts that I follow them into their sleep.
And now Yua’s saying that. In front of her mom, no less.
Mrs. Matsumoto turns around and catches my dopey grin. Or I imagine she does, because she quickly looks away. “I’ll give you two some space,” she declares before inching out of the room.
Yua steps closer to me while Mrs. Matsumoto shuts the screen door behind her.
Now that we have all the privacy in the world, I can’t stop myself from sliding off my stool and skipping—yes, skipping—around the table to throw my arms around Yua.
Her own arms loop behind my lower back. She pulls me in until we’re touching.
Hips to hips, chest to chest. Without her boots on, we’re about the same height. And our lips are perfectly in line.
I can’t think about anything else. All I’ve wanted is her. Ever since I woke up from my medicine coma, I’ve wondered when I’ll see her again. Touch her again. Kiss her again.
“I’m happy to see you,” Yua says, rocking her head back before I can close the distance. “I was hoping we could talk.”
My head tilts on its own like a Doberman being told a new command.
Sometimes, talking is a good thing. It’s an opportunity to strengthen a relationship.
But other times, it’s a bad thing. Like it’s an opportunity to end a relationship.
And judging by the flat tone in Yua’s voice, it feels like the latter.
“Oh.” I loosen my grip, castle walls climbing up around me to defend against an emotional barrage. Maybe after talking to her mother, she came to the conclusion that it was a mistake to be together. It’s the only explanation.
Yua’s brows furrow. I take a seat again and slump against the table. My palm is pressed against my cheek as I hold myself up. Let’s get this thing over with.
Yua tugs at the hem of her shirt. “A lot has happened since we last spoke.”
“You don’t have to be polite with me, Yua,” I cut in, clacking my nails against the table. “Just get to the point. What do you want to talk about?”
Yua’s brows wilt at the corners. She bites her lip as if it’s taking all her willpower to figure out how to speak delicately.
But I don’t want that right now. I need her to be blunt.
It was her idea to make our relationship official.
And honestly, if she wants to break up now because we’re going to have to break up anyway—then fine.
Guess this relationship was doomed from the start, and I have no one else to blame but myself.
I saw the signs and still took a chance on us. In the end, it was all for nothing.
Yua slides onto the seat beside me. Her knees are pointed at me, and she keeps her gaze fixated on her lap. “As you know, Mum and I talked about everything last night. My career as a tattoo artist, going to America, and, of course, you.”
My jaw is taut.
Yua sighs when I have no response. “I don’t know how to tell you this, Lilyn. I just…I don’t want to hurt you, because you mean so much to me.”
“Get it over with, Yua,” I grumble. “Or better yet, I’ll do it for you. We need to break up.”
I can’t believe those words left my mouth.
Every time I’ve imagined kissing a girl or holding hands with a girl or even just feeling this way about a girl, it was always going to be with someone like Yua.
Someone who not only understands my soul but feeds it.
I’ve wanted something the complete opposite of my broken home—someone different from me.
But maybe I’m destined to be like my ma.
Yua and I were never meant to last longer than a season.
“Break up with you?” Yua’s brows arch. There’s a panicked flush over her cheeks, and her eyes are wide, as if I’ve turned into a monster right before her. “No, that’s not what I— Do you want to break up?”
“Me?” I recoil, hand to my chest. “I thought that’s what you wanted.”
Yua’s shaking her head so hard, I’m worried it will fall off.
“No—the opposite, actually. I was going to ask what you thought about long distance, because…” There it is again.
Yua’s voice has caught in her throat. Her Adam’s apple bobs as she tries to spit the words out.
“Because I’ll be leaving for California in two weeks. ”
“What?” My voice is so small, it could’ve been carried away by a soft breeze. My joints are cemented into place. My spine is as stiff as a tower. But inside, I’m crumbling. Brick by brick, stone by stone.
I wanted these four precious weeks with Yua. It was hard enough knowing that I’d be spending most of my time working on my collection. But now this month will be cut in half. And then she’ll be gone, and I’ll be in Tokyo without her.
I rise to my feet, the legs of the stool scraping the floor as it’s pushed away. Pressure builds behind my eyes, but no tears trail down my face. That tightness sits there. Stuck. Like how I’m trapped in this room with Yua.
I can’t deal with this right now. My feet move on their own.
“Lilyn!”
Yua’s right behind me, and she’s following me between the racks of fabric.
My focus is glued to the front door. I’m so honed in on it that I don’t notice Mrs. Matsumoto until I’m passing her.
She has a tea set in her hands, like she was about to bring us drinks and cookies.
But I’m not hungry right now. All I can think about is how I need to get away.
The bell tings above my head as I pull the door open and step into the humid Tokyo air. The sparkling river reflects the daylight, burning my eyes with a dance of silver. I turn and head toward the park. Toward the main road. Toward anywhere but here.
“Lilyn—wait.” I can’t walk as quickly as I’d like to in these boots. And I must not’ve caught Yua sliding into a pair of sandals as she followed me out the door. But now she’s matching my stride, long legs catching me before I’ve gone too far.
“That’s why I didn’t want to tell you.” I can hear the desperation in her voice, but it doesn’t negate my feelings.
“I didn’t think I’d be leaving so soon. It only came up after I’d already said good night to you.
Mum finally agreed to help me find a flight.
We looked at the tickets, and the most affordable one was right before the end of summer, when everyone is flying back home.
It was a last-minute decision. I didn’t have time to talk to you about it. I’m sorry.”
It’s not fair that something I like gets to be snatched away from me so soon. I try not to think too hard about it, but when my thoughts slip, they fall on the father I never grew up with. And now Yua’s leaving, too.
“I don’t want to break up, Lilyn.” Yua’s voice cracks beside me. “Please. Can we talk for a little bit?”
My steps slow at the sincerity in her tone until we’ve found a spot on the sidewalk below the trees.
“I just need a moment to process this,” I say, swiping at my forehead. I’ve only been outside for a moment, and already this heat is melting me like a candle.
Yua sucks in a deep breath. “Okay. Take all the time you need. I’m right here.”
Our footsteps fall in stride as I walk beside her with my arms wrapped around my stomach like I’m going to be ill again. Tenno Park is up ahead. Even from here, I can hear the rush of falling water and children laughing.
I spot a bench under the trees. Yua and I must’ve had the same thought because we both take a seat. We sit there with our backs to the park. A couple bikes down the street. Once they’re gone, silence takes over.
“Can I tell you a funny story?” Yua asks, breaking the quiet between us.
When I say nothing, she continues.
“See this tattoo behind my ear?” Yua folds down her right ear so that I can see the Hello Kitty tattoo there. Actually, now that I’m right next to her, it doesn’t look like Hello Kitty at all. If anything, it looks more like Stewie from Family Guy. “It was the first one that I ever did.”
“I thought you said your frog tattoo was your first?” I retort.
Yua shakes her head. “That was the first tattoo someone else gave me, but this is the first tattoo I gave myself.”
I gape at her.
“I know.” Yua winces as if reading my mind.
“A couple years ago, I was at this house party in Roppongi, believe it or not. One of the girls at the party showed me her tattoo equipment. She’d just graduated high school and was apprenticing at another studio out there.
Anyway, she was still new to tattooing, but she was already so good at freehanding just about anything.
All she needed was a picture. So later that night, I snuck into her room and tried to do the same thing on myself. ”
“Behind your ear?” I grimace.
“Well, I couldn’t do it on my own thigh. The image would’ve been upside down,” Yua says defensively. “And I couldn’t do my arms because I kind of need both hands for a tattoo. I figured behind the ear was best because I could hide the tattoo with my hair, and I could see it in a mirror.”
“How old were you?”
“Sixteen.” Yua chuckles, half to herself and half to me.
“To be fair, I had been drinking. It hurt. A lot. And it was so swollen because I hadn’t cleaned it first. It hurt so bad that I couldn’t even let my hair touch it.
I was wearing my hair up when Mum noticed it the next day.
I thought she was going to kill me, but you know what she did instead? ”
My brows furrow and I lean in. “What?”
“She slathered healing ointment all over it.” Yua’s lips twitch. “Because she thought it was a bug bite.”
I chuckle. “So, you didn’t get in trouble for your Hello Kitty tattoo?”
Yua blinks at me. “Hello Kitty? No, Lilyn. This is Sailor Moon.”
A laugh erupts from me against my will. On this quiet street, I’m the loudest person out here. But I can’t stop myself from laughing. I needed this. I needed to remember that this is the girl who has made my summer in Tokyo worthwhile.
“I don’t want to lose you.” I sigh, coming down from the laugh and nestling my head against Yua’s shoulder.
She strokes my arm so gently that I get goose bumps. “I don’t want to, either. I love you.”
It takes me a while to register that Yua said she loves me, and I’m not sure why.
Maybe it’s because I always imagined that hearing those three words for the first time would feel like being gifted a pearl necklace or smell like a dozen wilting roses or taste like eating spongy Japanese shortcake for the first time.
But it doesn’t. It feels like this moment.
It’s the smell of river water and sunny Japanese air.
It’s the sound of birds singing from the telephone wires.
It’s a fact. One I’ve known for a long time now but didn’t want to admit myself.
I sit up and gaze into Yua’s tired eyes. My hand cups her cheek so that I’m the only thing she can see. “I love you, too, Yua.”
The corners of Yua’s lips quirk. Her gaze lowers to my own lips, and then she’s leaning in. We meet in the middle. Yua sighs into me while I’m holding on to this moment. I love her. And I’m not letting go of the hope that this love won’t end, even when we go our separate ways.