Love Me As I Am (Nights in Winter Lake #1)

Chapter 1

“Goddamn motherfucking son of a bitch!”

Laura trudged through the snow at the edge of what she thought was the driveway—hoped was the driveway. Each step she took proved harder and harder as the snow coming down piled higher and higher.

She was pissed as hell. Not only because it was colder than a witches tit out here, but because she’d gone and made a rookie move resulting in the back passenger quarter of her police issue SUV being roof deep in a fucking snow-filled ditch.

“Fucking idiot!”

Wedged in the snow with the front end sticking up in the air like the damn thing was ready to launch into space, she had no hope of digging it out without a tow truck.

“Stupid dumb motherfucker,” she grumbled, clapping her gloved hands together in an attempt to get some blood, and therefore warmth, into her aching fingertips.

Not that movement had helped her toes. They’d gone numb in spite of her insulated boots and thermal socks. And that numbness was creeping up her legs and sinking into her bones with every step she took.

A cup of her sister’s peppermint spice hot chocolate with a generous splash of whiskey would go down real nice right now.

Or just the generous slug of whiskey.

Not that either were in her foreseeable future.

Nope. At this rate she’d be lucky if she managed to make it to her destination.

Lakeside Inn.

It hadn’t been occupied for at least a year or more.

But no one had driven by in the hour she’d waited with her vehicle, and the police radio had crapped out due to the weather—or maybe when she’d tipped the SUV into the ditch—and don’t even get her started on the snow coming down thicker every damn second.

“God, I fucking hate winter!” Her scream got lost in the snow and wind swirling around her. If someone was close they’d be lucky to hear her.

She’d been nearing the end of her shift, just finished with her blizzard preparedness check over in Broken Bay, which sat across the lake from the police station—and the rest of civilization—in Winter Lake, when her driver’s side front tire had popped.

Instead of doing the sensible thing and checking the road edge she’d pulled onto she’d just opened the back hatch, grabbed the jack and set to changing the flat.

It wasn’t her first flat. She knew what to do. Her father had seen to that. According to him you couldn’t live in the mountains without knowing how to take care of yourself no matter what did or didn’t hang between your legs.

He’d made sure her and her twin sister Carly were as capable and prepared for mountain life as their brothers Grady and Joshua.

Unfortunately the rear passenger quarter was on the diagonal from the flat and she’d tipped the whole fucking vehicle into the ditch she’d failed to notice was hidden beneath the snow before she’d realized it wasn’t her strength or skill that was jacking up the SUV with surprising speed.

She’d been so pissed at herself for the dumbass move her anger had kept her warm for a good half hour or so. Then her situation began to sink in and she’d had to make a decision on what to do.

Thankfully she’d been on her way back to the station from a full day of checking on the residents of Broken Bay and knew everyone was well equipped to ride out the storm.

Un-thankfully, the storm had blown in earlier than predicted and the way it was ramping up she’d be lucky if she wasn’t buried alive before she found the old Lakeside Inn.

Which meant she was currently making her way through the worsening snowfall toward an abandoned building in the belief she’d be able to find shelter, and possibly warmth.

If it wasn’t for the fact the storm was supposed to last more than forty-eight hours she’d wait it out in her cruiser but as the snowfall grew heavier it became apparent that wouldn’t be in her best interests and if she was going to make a move for somewhere safer it was now or never.

She slapped her hands together again, flexed her fingers, and raised her feet higher as the path she walked got deeper and deeper with snow.

What she wouldn’t give for a set of snowshoes right now.

They were on her mental list of essentials—along with a flask of whiskey—to add to the survival kit she kept in the backpack currently slung over her shoulders once she got back to Winter Lake.

There were other pressing things to think about now though.

First order of business was getting inside the Inn and starting a fire.

Assuming she could find Lakeside Inn. Also assuming at least one of the many fireplaces the old building had was functional.

It had been a while since anyone lived there, before last winter if memory served, but surely the place hadn’t deteriorated that much.

As long as there was a roof over her head and walls to keep out the wind and snow she’d be fine.

She had a space blanket as well as matches and fire starters in her kit, she just needed a supply of dry wood and somewhere safe to set it alight.

Barring that, she’d find an old tub or sink she could use as a fire pit, and bust up a couple of doors or furniture to burn if she had to once she got inside the big old house.

Survival first. She’d worry about defacing someone else’s property later.

On her next step her left foot slipped and she quickly planted her right only to have her leg sink to the thigh in a deep drift. As she went down the weight of her backpack shifted sending her careening to the side onto her hip and shoulder, half burying her from head to toe.

“Motherfucking cock sucking—”

“Whoa. You kiss your mother with that dirty mouth, Officer Murdock?”

“Jesus fucking Christ.” She was lying on her right side, her weapon underneath her with no way of getting to it fast. Panic bubbled in her veins for a split second before it fizzled out when her numb from the cold brain recognized the voice.

Looking up, she squinted against the falling snow. “Nash?”

“You got me.”

Shoving her hands into the snow she tried to find purchase and stand but only managed to get her top half vertical while sinking her lower half deeper into the cold—and wet—snow. “What the hell are you doing out here?”

“That was my question.” Wrapping long fingers around her upper arms, he easily pulled her out of the snowdrift and onto her feet in front of him as though she weighed nothing. “You know there’s a blizzard winding up, right?”

Yanking her arms from his grip she kept her balanced and huffed, “Yes. Of course I do. I’ve being doing well checks in Broken Bay all day.” Not that she needed to explain herself to him.

“Okay…?”

Clearly the man needed more information. “I got a flat on the way back to Winter Lake. Unfortunately, the cruiser ended up in a ditch beside the road and now I’m heading to the abandoned Lakeside Inn to find shelter.”

“Abandoned?”

“Yes. It’s been vacant a year or so. I’ll break in if I have to, get out of the wind and snow, get a fire going and—” A thought struck. “Wait. What are you doing out here? And how did you get here?”

Glancing around she couldn’t see a vehicle. Not even a snow mobile, which would have been handy to have right about now.

“I saw someone walking through the snow and figured I should check on them.”

“You saw me?” She’d walked a good distance from the main road and couldn’t see it anymore, so how had Nash seen her? “From where?”

“Yep, hard to miss that yellow vest. Spotted it bobbing around in the snow from my place.”

“Your place?” She ignored the comment about her safety vest and arched a brow, her lopsided—thanks to her fall—beanie slipping down over her left eye.

Pushing it out of the way with a snow covered glove she eyed him skeptically though the dusting of snow on her lashes.

“You saw me from your place clear across the lake?”

“Ah, yeah, my place. It isn’t across the lake anymore.”

“What are you talking about? Of course it is. You’re in the apartment above Della’s Dina.” She liked to keep abreast of who lived where in her town. Helped her keep the locals and tourists safe to know who was where and when.

He grinned down at her. She didn’t like that grin. It screamed I’m about to say something that will piss you off, and she should know. Nash had used that grin on her numerous times over the years since he arrived in town to work for her cousin Alex.

“What?” Her back had stiffened and it had nothing to do with the cold that had crawled deep in her bones or the fact her blood was the consistency of a slushy if not frozen solid.

“Lakeside Inn is no longer abandoned,” was all he said around that gloating grin.

She didn’t need him to say another word. The smile and twinkle in his eyes was enough. “Motherfucker.”

Nash laughed. A full bodied rolling laugh that made her equal parts turned on and pissed off.

Christ this man did her head in. She could never decide if she should punch him or kiss him, which mean she ignored him most of the time.

Sighing, she turned in the direction she’d been heading. “Lead the way.”

“No need to sound like you’re on your way to the gallows, Officer Murdock.”

“I’m cold and getting colder. Let’s just get out of this damn weather.”

“You let dispatch know where you were going?” he asked, his stride matching hers in spite of his longer legs.

“Not yet. Radio went out. I was hoping to get a couple of bars on my cell once I got closer to the lake.”

“I can do you one better. Got a satellite phone in the house.”

Of course he did. The man was prepared for anything.

Then again, she would normally have a sat phone in the cruiser but they were down a unit since the rookie ran over one last week and the Chief hadn’t replaced it yet.

And because she’d grown up in Winter Lake, and knew it and Broken Bay like the back of her hand, no one had thought she’d need one. Least of all, her.

More fool them. Or her.

She knew better than anyone how things could get fucked up in winter. The mountains and lake often ended up completely snowed in, power and phone lines out, people stranded. Too often for her to have stupidly handed over her sat phone to someone else.

Stupid motherfucker.

Next time the rookie busted something—because the kid seemed to break everything he touched—she wasn’t giving up hers.

Lesson learned.

“Thanks. Do you mind if I call my dad at the fire station as well? He’ll be worried if I don’t checkin. He knew I would be out this way today.”

“Sure. Call whoever you want.”

Goddammit. How was she supposed to keep her distance from Nash when he was always being helpful?

From the second she’d met him he’d rubbed her the wrong way. Made her anxious and jittery. It had taken a few months but she finally worked out why.

She was attracted to him. Something she hadn’t experienced in too long to remember.

Most guys didn’t give her the time of day. She was a cop and the least girly girl she knew and as Nash had pointed out, she had a dirty mouth that put off more than her mother.

Hell, she’d been mistaken for a guy a number of times over the years. And her chosen occupation hadn’t tamped down her tomboy ways.

Even when she was younger she’d never been the one to attract the hot guys, or guys in general, that was her softer more feminine twin sister.

And Nash Yates was hot.

Lord was he hot.

Just looking at him warmed a girl up a few degrees.

He was also at least a decade older than her.

Not that his age had stopped her attraction in its tracks. For some reason it made him more appealing. She appreciated his maturity and the confidence that oozed from him that she attributed to a lifetime of living. He had a confident swagger, but it was earned not put on.

She’d fought against her desire from the beginning but it would be a lie to say she hadn’t gotten herself off to fantasies of him since they’d first met. But that’s as far as she’d gone.

Fantasizing about a guy and making a move on him were two very different things.

And while Nash had made his interest to her know—hell, he’d been downright blunt about it at times—she couldn’t trust it was more than the need to scratch an itch and she wasn’t up for that.

Too much drama when the itch was dealt with and they carried on with their lives in a small town where everyone knew everyone and gossip was the favored pastime. Plus he worked for her cousin so their paths crossed more than most.

Yeah, she didn’t need that kind of drama.

Been there, done that, would not be doing it again.

Nope. She’d learned that lesson thank you very much.

Got a A+++ in that class and didn’t need to repeat it.