35. Holly
THIRTY-FIVE
HOLLY
“Bad.” Always the bad. There was no way to prepare myself for this. I’d tried not thinking about it. I’d tried living with the pain. I’d tried hoping , but my life didn’t work like that. Despite the blocks I’d torn down and broken through, I was still expecting the other shoe to drop.
Things had gotten too good. I was with Graham. He was more fantastic than he used to be.
Hell, I was having a blast with Eli and Tanner and watching my little family of friends grow.
Something had to fall. Something had to turn it all sour.
“The bad news is we didn’t need that biopsy after all, so I’m sorry for putting you through that unnecessary pain.”
I blinked. Blood rushed from my face, straight to my toes. Might have left my body altogether. “What?”
A soft but still wary smile broke out on Dr. Myer’s face. “The biopsy was an extra precaution, as you remember, so you don’t have to keep waiting for tests and pushing everything back.”
“I remember.”
Next to me, Graham was listening intently. I knew I was hurting his hand. I kept seeing him flinch in pain out of the corner of my eye, but every time I tried to loosen my grip, I kept coming back to him.
I needed him. I needed him for more than this.
The last week with him had shown me how much I was missing out on, how much Jonah was, and how much I wanted to give him everything with Graham. There wasn’t anyone else who’d be good enough.
But if I were broken…
“I don’t understand,” Graham said, frowning at me and then the doctor.
She slipped something out of the file the nurse left, set it on that flat lamp-looking thing, and flipped a light on.
“This isn’t going to sound like good news, but I promise you it is.” She kept her gaze on Holly. “It’s not cancer, and it wasn’t tumors on your cervix, Holly.”
“What is it?”
“Fibroids.” The doctor smiled then, it was serene and hopeful and full of genuine peace. “I know that sounds bad, but they’re not cancerous. They’re basically benign cells that grow, but they don’t turn to cancer.”
“I can get rid of them?” Holly asked, and this time when she went to squeeze my hand, I pulled my fingers out and took ahold of her hand in both of mine. This time, I held on to her. Let her know she had someone there, holding her, taking care of her.
“We’ll have to discuss treatment. We should be able to get rid of these three here quite easily.” She pointed to some blobs I couldn’t detect, but I wasn’t the doctor. “These might cause some concern, but don’t get worried. It just might mean a different kind of surgery. The thing to know is really, out of everything we considered, this is the best outcome , Holly.”
I was reading the relaxed features on the doctor’s face, but Holly must have read something else. “But it’s not a great outcome. It’s not…it can still be bad.”
“There is a chance, given the placement of this.” She pointed out all the fibroids. Six of them. On her cervix, her uterus, and her left ovary. “We might have to remove the ovary, and in the future, years down the road if they return, you might need a hysterectomy. But at least through the next few years, you should be okay. This type of fibroid tends to be slow-growing, which means they’ve been there awhile before you started having any issues, maybe even years.”
“With one less ovary.” She didn’t glance at me, but she swallowed thickly. “Kids?” she asked. “Will it…I hadn’t even considered it, not really, but would I be able to have kids someday?”
I saw it then. Holly laughing with our kids. Both of us teaching them to cook, maybe dancing in the kitchen along with baking. We’d take them to parks, she’d bring them to watch me coach hockey. I’d teach my kids and her how to skate. All the things I started to see with her all those years ago…and now they could be gone.
“Have all the kids you want. Lots of women only have one functioning ovary. It might take longer to try, but it shouldn’t be a problem. We’ll keep an eye on you every six months and then yearly check-ups to see if the fibroids return. But the hysterectomy is the worst-case option, years away. I truly believe that.”
Holly was quiet for so long I thought she’d turned to stone. And then she turned and smiled at me. “I’m going to be okay.”
Tears slipped down her cheeks, and I didn’t care if a doctor was in the room. I leaned forward and kissed one away and then wiped the others. “I told you. You should really start listening to me.”
Holly chuckled.
The doctor smiled.
“Call my office next week so we can talk to you about scheduling the surgeries to start getting them removed. It’ll be a few visits, but the procedures are very low-risk and outpatient for the most part.”
“Okay. Thank you.”
The doctor grabbed a tissue and handed it to Holly. “Any questions for me?”
Holly shook her head. “Outpatient, that’s just a morning or something, right? Because Jonah…”
“We’ll make sure he’s taken care of,” I assured her.
“Outpatient, usually just a couple hours in and out and then resting for the rest of the day, maybe two. But you won’t be in the hospital, not any more than overnight if there are issues.”
“Okay. Thank you again. I just…I really thought it’d be worse than this.”
“It’s normal to let your fears get away from you when this stuff comes up. No one blames you for that, but now you get to go celebrate.”
“Celebrate,” Holly muttered, like the concept was foreign to her. “I get to celebrate.”
“And I get to be tortured by your cop friend.”
I got a strange look from the doctor I ignored.
Because Holly was smiling, and when she smiled, it was all I ever saw.
* * *
I kissed her against the truck until it became almost indecent for the public. I kissed her in the cab of my truck until she laughed and pushed me away. I kept reaching over and kissing our interlocked hands on the way back to Deer Creek, and as we made the drive to the restaurant to pick up Jonah and tell Caroline the good news, I couldn’t stop touching her.
“It still doesn’t sound great.”
She was staring at her phone.
“Swear to God, Holly, you don’t take a night to enjoy the good news you just got, I’m chucking your phone out the window.”
“You wouldn’t.” She hugged it to her chest.
“I absolutely would.”
“I’ve been so worried for so long, and there are always risks with surgeries.”
I reached out and plucked the phone from her fingers and dropped it into my door.
“Graham!” she shrieked.
I pulled into the parking lot and shoved my truck into park in the first parking spot I could find.
“I can’t believe you did that!”
I grabbed her cheeks and kissed her. I slipped my tongue into her mouth until the fight went out of her, and she responded, leaning in. Only when she whimpered did I pull back. “You got good news today. Tomorrow is going to be even better. I’ll be here to help with your surgery stuff, and then you’ll be fine. Jonah is happy. Someday, I’m going to move here and find a job, and then after that, you’ll still be fine. You’ll be better than that. You’ll be happy.”
“You…what…you?”
At least she wasn’t worried even if her voice and words didn’t work right. “Spitfire,” I drawled and brushed my lips over hers. “Did you really think you’d ever be able to get rid of me again?”
“But…it’s been a week.”
“No.” I opened my door and hopped out. “It’s been six years, and I’m tired of waiting. Get used to it, because you’re not ever going to be alone again.”
I shut my door, waited for a second, and then hurried around the truck to get her door. “You coming in to tell Caroline the good news or not?”
“I suppose you’re not giving me a chance, are you?”
“Not a chance.” I lifted her out of the truck and carried her into the restaurant. Folks gave us strange looks, and Jonah ran right up to us.
“You don’t look like you have a stomachache,” he declared, before I could set her on her feet.
“That’s because she’s all better, little man.” I looked down at Holly. Her hair was a frazzled mess, her lips full and pink, but there was a glimmer in her eyes that was new.
One I wanted to start seeing much more frequently.
“That’s right, Jonah. Graham’s made me all better.”
* * *
“I like him,” Trina said. “He’s sassy but sweet, and I love the way he looks at you.”
“I think he’s sexy,” Ashley cooed. “His butt looks fantastic in those jeans.”
I laughed around the rim of my water bottle. “Keep your eyes on your own man’s butt.”
“But…”
“Not buts or butts,” Trina declared. “You look good. Happy. It’s kind of weird.”
“Thanks. You look like you’re going to puke,” I told her.
She laughed. “You’re not wrong. I’ve been throwing up every morning. Thank God the girls are at their mom’s this week now. It’d be impossible not to tell them yet.”
“I’m happy for both of you,” Ashley said. “Both of you, and Trina’s right, Holly. You’re happy with Jonah, but this is a new look on your face. It suits you. And the guys like him, too.”
“How can you tell?”
“They haven’t shot him yet.”
I blinked at Ashley. Trina shrugged.
Animals. My friends were all animals.
“Woo-freaking-hoo!” Tanner ran out of the hallway, stopped, and froze when he saw us. “Where are the guys?”
“Outsid—”
Before Trina could finish, Tanner ran at me and tossed me into the air. “I’m a freaking Carolina Ice King, Spitfire! I got it! I’ve made it!”
Tears poured out of my eyes before I could stop them, and I threw my arms around Tanner’s neck. “That’s amazing!”
“What’s going on?” Cole asked, standing in his doorway. He frowned at Tanner, probably because he was holding me.
“He did it!” I shouted to Graham, who was standing right next to him.
“No kidding!?”
“No shit! My agent just called!” Tanner shouted. He practically dropped me to the floor and I stumbled before righting myself. “I made it!” He threw his arms out in the air. “Who’s the man, now!”
Graham and Eli both rushed him, and soon the three were in a dog pile in a strange man’s living room, who was watching the mayhem with a smile on his face. Robbie was beside him, then in front of him.
“NOW it’s time to celebrate!”
He went to the kitchen. Beers were opened. Wine was poured. Even I had one. We celebrated Tanner’s great news. I cheered to my new friends, and soon, I found myself tucked off to the side with Cole.
“I like him,” he declared, so much like Trina but with more potential malice. “He’s good for you.”
I looked at Graham, shoving his hands through Tanner’s hair, and grinned up at Cole. “I’m going to marry him someday.”
His eyes widened with surprise and then crinkled at the edges as he smiled. “Good, because I’d kick your ass if you ever thought of letting him walk away.”
An arm looped around my lower back, and I was pulled to Graham’s side.
“What are you two talking about?”
“Nothing,” I quickly said, because no way was I telling him what I just told Cole.
Cole’s smirk appeared slowly, taunting me. He looked at Graham. “Your future wedding.”
He sauntered away and went to shake Tanner’s hand again. Crazy how everyone had gotten along immediately. Guess I had good taste in friends.
“Our wedding?” Graham asked, a teasing tilt to his voice. “Has the broken but healed princess finally found her prince?”
Well, when he put it that way…
I smiled up at him, lifted to my toes and kissed him. “I’m pretty sure they’ll even live happily ever after.”
“You’re damn right they will.”