Chapter 12
Miranda
“Do you want me?”
As soon as the question leaves my mouth, I wish I could take it back.
Things just stopped being awkward between us.
And even after he told me about his past, I kept my mouth shut about mine.
He knows I’ve dated a bit here and there, but nothing serious.
The truth is no one ever allowed me to feel comfortable being myself.
My feelings were always too big. My reactions, too much.
None of the men were like Hayden. When I’m with Hayden, I know I’m safe.
Even when things were awkward between us, I never felt like I had to pretend to be something I’m not.
I’ve never had that with anyone else. So, I stuffed everything inside and eventually the relationships fizzled.
I part my lips to speak. To say what, I’m not so sure; something to bring us back to the comfortable feeling from a few minutes ago. But before I can, Hayden covers my mouth in a kiss.
I gasp in surprise, and he uses the opportunity to slide his tongue past the seam of my lips, deepening the kiss.
As soon as our tongues collide, any hesitation I had instantly disappears.
His kiss is thorough and commanding. Needy.
I move closer, but he pulls back and rests his forehead against mine as he catches his breath.
“What are you doing?” I breathe.
“Kissing you.”
Reaching out, I stroke the soft scruff covering his jaw. “We’ve been here before...”
“I tried to stay away from you,” he says in a low voice. “I stayed away all winter. And I was fucking miserable.”
I take a sharp breath. Certainly, I’m having an out-of-body experience.
I’ve fantasized about hearing those words ever since that night in the supply room.
As much as he’s avoided me, I’ve avoided him more.
I went as far as quitting my job and searching for a new place to live.
But even after spending all that time trying to set up a fresh start, all I’ve wanted to hear is that I’m not alone in the way I feel.
“But you said-”
“I know,” he says, cutting me off. “I know what I said. To answer your question, yes. I want you. And maybe it’s all the reasons we shouldn’t that make this pull between us so damn strong. Maybe just this once…”
I’m not sure how long I stare at Hayden, trying to figure out if this is really happening.
If he really just said the words I’ve been so desperate to hear.
I know I should stop this. I should say no.
As hard as I’ve tried to move on, I missed him every single day…
which is ridiculous. I haven’t exactly been waiting around for him, but he’s right.
This pull between us is too strong to ignore.
Hayden strokes my cheek with the back of his hand. “Just this once. Then we leave it all here when we head out in the morning.”
It’s only now that I take in the man before me. The entire time I’ve been in his bed, I made it a point not to look. But as I drag my gaze from his face and down his naked chest and torso, I swallow hard, imagining what’s hiding beneath the blankets that cover him from his navel down.
“You can say no,” he rasps, bringing my attention back to his face.
The room is silent aside from the sound of my heart slamming against my ribcage.
Reaching out, I place a hand on his bare chest. His ragged breath is my undoing.
Without another moment’s hesitation, I close the distance between us and press my lips to his.
Hayden slides a hand to my lower back and pulls me to him, pressing his erection against me.
I pull away to catch my breath. His breathing is as uneven as mine, and when my eyes meet his, the intensity of his gaze is nearly too much.
If I walk away, we can just go on the way we have been.
Once I move away, we’ll forget all about each other.
But that’s not what I want to do. When we leave this place, I want it to be with memories of Hayden, not questions of what if.
Even though I’m not convinced that getting it out of our systems is even possible.
“Please,” I whisper. “I don’t want to say no.”
In a surprisingly gentle move, Hayden rolls me to my back and hovers over me. He tugs my shirt over my head, dragging his rough hands over my body as he goes. His touch sets my body on fire. I want to feel him everywhere.
“Hayden,” I pant. “Touch me.”
He returns his lips to mine and trails a hand down my half-naked body.
His touch is so light it nearly tickles.
I squirm when he begins kissing his way down my body, starting at my neck and then moving down between my breasts.
When I arch my back in a less-than-subtle hint, his low chuckle sends shockwaves through me.
His mouth continues a steady path of nips and kisses until he finally reaches the waistband of my sleep shorts.
“You’re sure?” His breath tickles my sensitive skin.
I’m more than sure. Instead of responding, I slip my thumbs into the waistband of my shorts and slide them down. Hayden’s muttered curse is the last thing I hear before his warm tongue meets my needy pussy. Holy shit. I cry out, nearly coming undone from that single swipe of his tongue.
“Shhh,” he warns. “Do you want everyone here to know what you sound like when I have my tongue buried in your tight little cunt?”
God, his words. They send a new wave of heat to my center.
Once again, instead of responding verbally, I thread my fingers into his hair and pull him back down as I angle my hips to meet him.
His tongue feels too good. I’m overwhelmed with sensation as he switches between leisurely swipes and flicking my swollen clit.
“I need you,” I breathe. “Please.”
I can already feel my orgasm beginning to build, but I don’t want to come until he’s inside me. Gripping his hair, I tug, causing his burning eyes to meet mine. I falter, momentarily speechless under the intensity of his gaze.
“I’m so close. I need you inside me.”
Hayden grunts when I tug harder on his hair, and then he’s on me.
He loses his only layer of clothing before settling his weight on top of me.
Yes. This is really happening. His scent surrounds me, and I close my eyes, wishing I could freeze this moment in time.
The moment everything between us will change forever.
“I don’t have a condom,” he warns.
“I’m safe. I want to feel you.” My cheeks burn, and I’m relieved my eyes are closed and it’s too dark for him to see me blush.
“Look at me.” When I open my eyes, I find him staring down at me, his expression unreadable. “Ready for me?”
“Yes,” I whimper. “Please. Now.”
He notches himself at my entrance, and we both stop breathing when he glides inside, one slow inch at a time.
“Fuck, sweetheart,” he groans. “Breathe for me. Let me in.”
I drag in a ragged breath, and it releases as a moan when he slides the rest of the way inside. I’ve never been this full. The sting from being stretched turns to pleasure when he finally begins to move. My hands stroke the taut muscles of his back, and I can’t believe this is really happening.
Gripping my thigh, he spreads me wide as his thrusts become harder and faster.
I feel him everywhere. The delicious weight of him as he claims me.
His hard cock as he plunges into me. His hands as they caress my sweat-slicked skin.
It isn’t long before every nerve in my body tingles and I go tumbling over the edge, my orgasm hitting me like a freight train.
Hayden’s movements falter, and after a few more thrusts, he follows me over the edge, spilling into me with my name a whisper from his lips. I’m ruined. No matter what lies we’ve told ourselves, there’s no way anything can ever go back to being the same. And I don’t want it to.