Chapter 42
Miranda
Istare at the set of keys on my counter, and then at the empty box I just finished taping together.
Moving wasn’t a surprise, yet I haven’t been able to bring myself to pack.
I don’t have to completely empty my place out, but I need my kitchen items. I’ll need everything from my bathroom. My clothes. Some furniture.
I heave another sigh and return my gaze to the apartment keys like they might get up and bite me. Hayden has kept his distance since chasing me down at Boulder Ranch, but there hasn’t been a single moment when I haven’t been thinking about his words. The sincerity in his eyes.
Removing the stack of plates from my cabinet, I begin wrapping them in tissue paper one at a time before neatly placing them into the box.
As I work, my mind drifts to Sierra. Her excited chatter as she told me about the horse Hayden gifted her cut me to the core.
I haven’t even known the girl for very long, but leaving her will be as hard as it is to leave Hayden behind.
Forcing thoughts of leaving aside, I move on to the cups and glasses.
With box number one filled, I tape it up and move it to the side.
Once again, my apartment keys catch my eye, shining like a beacon of doom.
If starting over is the right thing, it shouldn’t feel this hard.
I should be playing music and dancing around. I should be excited.
I don’t get any further than taping the bottom of the next box before I find myself reaching for my truck keys and heading for the door. The heaviness weighing on me eases as soon as I step outside.
Yelping, I come to a halt when I nearly run straight into Sierra. “Shit. I mean—sorry!”
Sierra steps back, covers her chest with her hand and lets out a nervous laugh. “I’m sorry. I didn’t expect you to be walking out the door.”
Looking around, I don’t see Hayden’s truck anywhere. “I didn’t expect anyone to be standing on the other side of the door when I opened it. Are you okay? How did you even get here?”
She meets my gaze with watery eyes. “Your mom picked me up.”
I narrow my eyes and study her as I wait for her to elaborate, but she doesn’t.
Once again, I look around but don’t see any signs of my mother anywhere.
Opening my door back up, I gesture for Sierra to come inside.
This wasn’t my plan when I rushed out the door, but something is wrong. What I need to do can wait.
“Sierra, are you okay? What is it? You can talk to me about anything,” I say as my mind races with all the reasons a teenage girl can show up in what looks like a near panic.
“You can’t tell Hayden I was here.”
I swallow hard, and my limbs grow heavy. She can talk to me, but I’m not sure about promising to keep secrets from Hayden. Especially when he’s her legal guardian. Making my way to the seating area, I direct her to sit before taking the seat beside her.
“What’s wrong, Sierra?”
To my absolute horror, her bottom lip begins to tremble, and tears spill down her beautiful face.
Swiping away at the tears, she takes an uneven breath and pins her brown eyes to mine.
“You can’t leave. Being around you and your mom and working with you at Boulder Ranch—it’s all I have.
I’m not trying to replace my mom or anything, but… ”
She trails off as a sob escapes. I sit quietly, covering her hand with mine as I wait for her to compose herself.
My heart feels like it’s breaking in half, leaving a painful ache in my chest as I watch Sierra break down.
She moved here right after her mom died, but this is the first time I’m seeing her cry.
So, I let her. I let her take all the time she needs to get it out.
“I know you aren’t moving far…and I shouldn’t ask you to stay just because of me, but…”
“Hayden doesn’t know where you are?” I ask, wanting to make sure he isn’t somewhere in a panic, trying to find her.
She sniffles and nods her head. “Sort of. He thinks I’m with your mom.”
“And does she know you’re here?”
Flashing me a secretive smile, she nods again. “I asked her to pick me up so I could come talk to you. But you can’t tell Hayden. He specifically told me not to try and talk you into staying.”
Once again, I narrow my eyes and study her. “Now, why would he do that?”
A flicker of guilt flashes across her expression, and she fidgets with a loose string in the rip of her jeans.
“Well, I begged him to make you stay. He said he couldn’t do that.
That your decision is your decision. Then he told me not to either.
But I just couldn’t sit around and let you leave. I just—I don’t want to lose you, too.”
The painful ache in my chest gives way to warmth, but that doesn’t stop my tears from spilling.
I never gave a lot of thought to having children, but I know this feeling of love must be close to what parents must feel.
I reach for a tissue from the side table and dab at her wet cheeks, a warm smile spreading across my own face when she relaxes into my touch.
“I don’t want to lose you, either. I was actually heading out to talk to Hayden.” It’s my turn to take in a ragged sigh. “I was packing, and it just didn’t feel right. I belong here, not in the city. Not nearly an hour away from the people I care most about.”
Sierra’s face brightens, and I’m thrown off balance when she throws her arms around me.
I can’t tell how long we hug, but when we pull apart, I already feel lighter.
Like I made the right decision, and not just the easy one.
I’m not leaving. I can’t leave. Leaving Hayden would break my heart, but leaving Sierra just might kill me.
It’s ridiculous, because she isn’t even my kid, but I just can’t picture leaving her behind when she needs as many people surrounding her as she can get.
“Well…” I say awkwardly. “You can come with me, since I’m headed that way anyway.”
She’s shaking her head before I even finish my offer. “No, I was never here, remember? I’m going to go back and hang out with your mom. She told me I could once I was finished over here. You kids have fun.”
I watch in surprise as she gets up and walks out my front door. Now there’s only one thing left to do. Talk to Hayden and hope I’m not too late. Even if I’ve ruined things between him and me, I will be there for Sierra in every way possible.