Chapter Thirty-eight
Alyssa
Jodie? She's Jodie? Oliver's mother? What is she here for?
“What are you doing here?!” Nathan went from shocked to shaking with anger in just a few seconds.
“Nice to see you again, Nathan.” She said, completely ignoring his question.
“GET OUT!” His sudden outburst startled Oliver and I.
I felt Oliver bury his face into my legs. I put a reassuring hand on his head and ran my hand through his hair. This is the angriest I've ever seen Nathan and to be honest, I was scared. His teeth were clenched so hard I thought they wound break and I was sure his nails were about to break the skin of his palms with the how tight those fists looked.
“I came for my son and I'm not leaving till I get him!” She declared stubbornly.
My reassuring hold on Oliver turned protective instantly. The boy picked his head up and turned to her, an innocent look on his face. He slowly detached himself from my leg so he was facing her fully.
“You're my mommy?” He spoke softly, his voice breaking slightly.
The way she smiled was off. It looked like she was more proud of herself to be called his mom than she was happy to see him. “Yes darling, I'm your mom, come to mommy.”
She stretched her hand out for him. When he didn't move and inch towards her she took a step closer to him and that set Oliver off.
“GET AWAY FROM ME!” We all drew back surprised at his outburst.
Jodie was the first to recover from her shock. “I don't know what you've been taught but you do not speak to your mother this way.”
Did she just yell at him? She must be looking for a beating.
“You're not my mother!” His voice cracked again and I knew he'd be crying soon.
Before any of us could say anything, he ran up the stairs probably to his room. Nathan went after him, signaling for me to stay with Jodie. She moved to follow Nathan but I stopped her.
“You can't go with him.” I told her, gripping her arm.
She sneered at me and forced her arm out of my hand. “Who are you to tell me what I can't do? You don't have any authority over me, I can get you fired so don't test me.”
Oh, she must not know, poor girl. “Fired? From where?”
“You're the nanny aren't you?”
I let out a sarcastic laugh and shook my head. “And you say I live under a rock. If you must know, I'm not the nanny or any of the help.”
“Then who are you?”
I lifted my left hand to show her my rings. “Nathan's wife and I suggest you leave our home before I make you.”
I've had enough of her. Her attitude was terrible and I her perfume is irritating me. I know she wanted to say something but Nathan came back before she could.
He looked really distressed and it really worried me. “Oliver's locked himself in his room and he won't open the door for me. He's crying really hard.”
My heart ached for the both of them. I didn't know what Oliver was feeling but it sure was bad, no one would feel good seeing the woman who abandoned them in a hospital the day they were born.
Nathan was more angry than anything but I could tell it pained him to see Jodie again. This is a woman who he was once in love with, who gave birth to his child and left without any explanation. He also hated seeing Oliver cry and from what he said the boy was crying a lot.
“I'll try to talk to him.” I offered.
He gave me a grateful smile as I made a move to leave only to be stopped by Jodie's voice. “Shouldn't I be the one talking to him? He needs his mother right now.”
I get she was trying to pass a not so hidden message to me, that I wasn't Oliver's real mother but I didn't care, I've been more of a mother to him in the few months I've been in his life than she's ever.
I smiled sardonically as a reply came to mind. “You're right, he does need his mother. With that said, I'll be right back.”
I didn't let her say anything else as I made my way up the steps to his room. Pressing my ear to the door, I heard him sobbing, the sound making my heart hurt more.
I raised my hands to knock on the door praying he would answer.
“Go away, Dad!” He screamed.
“Olly, it's me sweetheart. Can I come in?” I hoped he would let me, I didn't want him going through this alone.
Thankfully, I heard the door unlock then it opened. I looked down to see Oliver with tearstained cheeks, staring up at me with sad eyes. I gave him most loving smile I could muster and bent to his level.
“Ally!” He practically jumped on me as his arms wrapped around my neck.
“Oh, Olly.” I pat his back softly, standing straight so I could carry him to his bed.
Sobs raked through his body as I whispered comforting words to him. Pretty soon, his cries turned into hiccups and whimpers. I was glad he was calming down, crying so much couldn't be healthy for him.
“I hate her.” I heard him mutter.
“Don't say that, it's not nice.” I admonished him softly.
“She wasn't nice leaving me like that.” He grumbled.
A sigh escaped my lips. “I know, but you can't hate her.”
“But I do.”
I think I should humor him for a while. “Why?”
“She's bad. She left me when I was a baby and made all those kids bully me at my old school. I hate her for that.”
“Olly, do you know what hate really is?” He craned his neck to meet my eyes and shook his head. “My mom told me that hate is like a parasite, like a worm, that goes into your body, your heart and destroys you from inside, not the person you hate. Do you want to be destroyed?”
“No.”
“Then you have to let go of all your so-called hate.”
“B-but…” I saw fresh tears welling in his eyes.
“I know she hurt you but she wants to fix it, she wants to be your mommy now.”
“I don't want her to be my mommy!” He kicked his leg for emphasis and pulled away slightly. “I want you to be my mommy.”
I don't know if it's possible to feel like your heart is imploding and exploding but that's pretty much what I felt when he said that. The shock was clear on my face as I thought.
Mommy? He wasn't ME to be his mommy? I opened my mouth to say something but nothing came out. What do you say to that? I mean, sure I want to be his mom but is he sure about this?
“I'm sorry for saying that, it was stupid, I'm sorry. I just thought… nevermind.” He rushed out, pulling away from me completely.
He sat on his own and turned away from me so I couldn't see his face but I did see him bring his arm up and wipe his cheek.
What am I doing? I have to say something. “Olly.” I put a hand on his shoulder.
He shrugged it off. “It's okay. I shouldn't have said that. You can go now, Alyssa.”
That had my heart shattering. He's never called me 'Alyssa' before and I hate it coming out of his mouth. His voice was so cold and emotionless, I didn't even know a child's voice could be like that, especially not his.
“Olly, look at me please.” He obliged and the first thing I noticed was how his eyes were glazed over, looking even sadder the earlier. “I would love nothing more than to be your mommy.”
He sniffed and swiped at his tears. “Really?”
“Of course.” This time he actually jumped on me. “I love you, Olly, so much.”
“I love you too, mommy.” I held him tight as a lone tear ran down my cheek.
We hugged for the longest time, neither of us wanting to let go. I chuckled when I realized he had fallen asleep. I pulled his covers back and laid him on the bed. He ever took his shoes or socks off as well as his sweater so I helped him with them.
His lights were turned off after I tucked him in, not forgetting to kiss him goodnight. I left his door open just a little bit so he'd see some light if he woke up and won't be scared.
She's still here. I groaned internally, returning to the living room to see Jodie still there, sitting on a couch. Nathan was sitting right across from her, his eyes set in the deadliest glare. He really doesn't like her, good.
“How is he?”
“He fell asleep.” I took my attention to Jodie. “And you should be leaving, you aren't welcome here.”
The nerve in her jaw ticked as she clenched her teeth. “I'm not leaving till I speak to him.”
“Can't you see you're hurting him?!” I yelled in anger. “Or do you just not care?”
“I cared enough to come back for him.”
“You also cared enough to leave him in the first place.” I retorted.
Her nostrils flared. “Can you not judge me? You don't know what I went through giving him up so don't try to call me a bad mom.”
I took a daring step closer and spoke very slowly and clearly. “You are a bad mom.”
A spark of hurt flashed in her eyes but she masked it quickly enough. I sort of felt bad for why I said but it was the truth. No mother should do what she did, didn't she know the risks?
“I think you should leave now, Jodie.” Nathan inserted, coming to stand by my side.
She glanced between the both of us before collecting her bag and walking out the door. A breath I didn't know I was holding escaped my lips as soon as the door shut.
From the corner of my eye, I saw Nathan plop down on the couch and bury his face in his hands. I gave him a minute before I joined him. In seconds, my hand was on his back, rubbing comforting circles on it.
We sat in the silence for a few minutes, taking the time to collect ourselves. I was a mess of emotions inside. I was angry, sad and happy at the same time, I'm not sure.
“Are you okay?” I snapped my head to him on hearing his question.
Is he really asking me that? “I should be asking you that. How are you feeling?”
He shrugged with indifference and got up, moving to the stairs. “I'm fine.”
I followed him closely. “That's not true. Please don't lie to me.”
“Oh, like you haven't lied to me.” He spat.
Guilt. Terrible guilt. That's what I felt. He was right, I couldn't expect him to be completely honest with me when I'm an even bigger liar. It wasn't my fault, I had to lie for his sake and I thought he got that.
“I understand.” The hurt I felt was clear in my voice.
I rushed up the stairs to our bedroom, ignoring his heavy footsteps behind me. He caught my hand right as I opened the door and turned me around.
“I am so sorry, I should not have said that.” He apologized frantically.
I shook my head to stop him and pulled my hand away as his grip loosened. “It's okay.”
“No, I really am sorry. The truth is I'm really upset about this and I'm stressed, I didn't want to put that on you. You have your own problems to worry about.”
“It's okay, Nathan.”
He put his arms around me and I returned the gesture as he buried his face in my hair. “Your hair smells delicious.”
I giggled. “You can't eat it.”
“It smells like apples, I like apples.”
He was getting heavier and his voice got deeper, I took it as a sign that he was falling asleep on me. I led him to the bed and helped him out of his work clothes before he laid down. I got in next to him after changing my clothes and as usual, even half asleep, Nathan wrapped his arms around me and had us cuddling. It was always the best feeling.
“I love you.” He mumbled sleepily.
“I love you too.”