19. Chapter Nineteen
Chapter Nineteen
B rooke was tired of staring at the walls and everyone in the house staring at her, wondering if she was okay. She wanted to feel normal again. She wanted to get out of the house and do something. So she asked Cody if he’d take her to see her new building and storefronts. He’d suggested the trip a couple of times over the last few days.
Today when she approached him, it had made him happier than something so small should, and she knew she’d made the right choice. She couldn’t wallow forever.
Though she had her reservations about being in public with her injuries and her head not in a great place, the thought of seeing all her plans for the building coming together actually excited her.
But she couldn’t stop fidgeting, hyperaware of how many people were out on the sidewalks downtown.
She knew Adam was locked up in a hospital, but that didn’t mean her body knew it. Adrenaline pumped through her veins. At least it was light out. She didn’t know if she could take being out at night.
Cody opened the car door and held out his hand to assist her to her feet. She didn’t remember them stopping and him getting out of the car while her mind raced.
She sucked in a deep breath, concentrated on the feel of the warm sunshine on her face, and that she’d worn a long-sleeved shirt to cover her sliced up and bandaged arms. She couldn’t hide the brace, but no one would think anything but that she’d sprained her wrist or something.
“You okay?”
She nodded at Cody, biting her bottom lip. “Fine.”
“No one knows anything. No one is staring. It’s just you and me.”
She appreciated the reminder. She feared being ambushed by the press. But so far, all anyone knew was that the campus stalker’s unnamed victim had gone home just before the semester ended and he remained at large.
She’d have to do something about that soon.
But not right now.
Today was to look toward her future, and he had no place in it.
She squeezed Cody’s hand and he squeezed back, letting her know he was there and she was safe. It settled her nerves like his kiss grounded her, even as it made her heart soar, and she appreciated his understanding and not saying anything about her sweaty palm.
This was the first time she was seeing the renovations in person and she wanted to take it all in and enjoy it. Cody and Danny Quinn from Quinn Construction had sent her extensive pictures and videos of the progress. But nothing beat seeing the improvements in person.
They were parked right outside the old bookstore. The front windows had been cleaned, the trim painted in black. A sign hung over the door. Brooke’s Book Nook Café.
He’d gotten all of that done over the last week while she was at home grieving and just trying to breathe through each agonizing day. He somehow found the strength to take care of her, grieve, work to satisfy his obligations, hold her through each night to keep the monster away. How did he do all of that and help her to make her dreams come true?
“Cody?”
“Yeah.” He stared down at her, expectant and ready to answer or give her whatever she needed.
“Thank you.”
“For what?”
She held her hand out toward the building. “This. Everything. Taking care of me. Being you.”
He put his arm around her shoulders, drew her close to his chest, and kissed her forehead. “You don’t have to thank me for anything. It’s my pleasure to do anything, everything for you.”
She went up on tiptoe and lightly kissed him. “Thank you.” She wanted him to know she meant it.
He cupped her cheek and brushed his nose against hers. “You’re welcome.”
She gave him a smile and got one back. “I love the sign’s design with the shelf of books all lined up under the shop name.”
Cody squeezed her hand and turned to look at it with her. “Did it turn out the way you hoped?”
“It’s even better in person.”
“You’ve been in the bookstore a bunch. Let’s start in the café space.” Cody held her hand as they walked next door. The front of the storefront matched the bookstore’s whitewashed painted brick exterior to brighten up the facade with black-trimmed windows.
“I think I’ll get some large pots to put out front and fill with flowers. Maybe a few café tables, so people can sit outside.”
“Sounds good to me.” Cody unlocked the café and guided her in before he stepped back and let her take it in.
“Last I saw the space, there was just a big empty room.” Now, a twenty-foot counter spanned the right side of the area, with counters and mirrors against the wall. The far side of the counter had space for two cash registers, where customers would order their drinks and purchase food. Next to that space, a glass case beneath the countertop would show off all the baked goods they’d sell. To the right, customers could sit at the counter, or wander to the cozy chairs and love seats with tables to sit and enjoy their food and beverages while reading or chatting with friends.
The furniture was covered in plastic to protect it until opening, but she loved all the colors of the items she’d picked out in jewel tones of purple, blue, green, and pink.
“That little blue sofa by the window is my favorite.” Cody pointed to it. “I love the Brooke’s Book Nook Café logo on the wall above the sofa. It is the perfect little spot to curl up and read.” His praise boosted her confidence and pride.
“Thank you. It means a lot that you like it.” She’d worked really hard on all the details, wanting this space to feel light and airy and comfortable. She wanted people to feel like they could sit a spell and get lost in a book.
“I don’t just like it, Brooke. I think it’s fucking amazing what you’ve done here.”
That took her aback. “You oversaw all the work.”
“But this is your design and vision. I liked the idea when you presented it to me. I expected that you’d do well. But people are really going to love this place. It’s going to be packed all the time. There’s nothing else like it downtown.”
She grinned again. This time it came easier. “Did you match all the chairs at the tables?”
“Yeah. Well, me and your mom. Why?”
“It looks great. It’s just…”
“What?” His gaze roamed the room, looking for anything out of place from her detailed plans.
“Everything is exactly where it should be,” she assured him. “It’s just that I thought I’d mix and match the chair colors at each table.” She’d bought the chairs in four different but complementary styles and thought it would be kind of cool to have different chairs at different tables.
“I’ll rearrange them if you want.” He let her loose and stepped toward the first table.
She grabbed his arm. “Cody, no. It’s fine. I actually think keeping the colors together makes the place look more polished and soothing.” Everything in her head felt chaotic. Order made her feel more relaxed. She wanted that for her customers.
“I don’t mind changing it if that’s what you want, sweetheart.”
She stared at the beautiful space. “No. This is perfect.” Except… “I think I’ll buy a few plants to spread around the place in pretty vibrant pots to match with the furniture material.”
“That would look really nice,” Cody agreed. “We’ll add a trip to the nursery for the week before opening.”
Brooke’s hand pressed to her belly the second she heard the word nursery. Yes, it was a different kind than the one she’d planned to decorate for her little girl. Still, it hit her right in the heart.
Her spirits dropped at the thought of postponing the opening. Even if it was only a couple of weeks. But she just wasn’t ready to take that on in her condition.
“It’s okay, Brooke. You need time.”
“I don’t know how you’ve held it together this long.” The two weeks she’d been home felt like they dragged on forever.
“I do it because I have to.”
“For me?”
“Yes. I wasn’t there when you needed me. I’m here now. I won’t let you down.”
“But that’s not fair. You lost her, too.”
“And I grieve right alongside you. I just…”
“What?”
“I need you to get better. That’s all I think about. I just want you to be happy again. I know that probably feels like a lot of pressure. I know it will take time. And I see the steps you’re taking, like the walks you and your mom have taken the last few mornings together. You always look…relaxed when you come back.”
“We talk about her, you, life. The past. The future.”
“That’s good. And you can talk to me anytime you want. You know that, right?”
She nodded. “I am trying, Cody.” But it was hard to find her way out of the pit she’d fallen into after the attack. Cody was always there when she reached for the light. When she reached for him.
“I know you are, baby, I just miss the way things used to be. The way they were for that split second when you and I were happy together before it all went to shit.” He turned away from her. “I know you’ve changed because of everything that’s happened. So have I. But I still think we can get back that magic we had when our love shone the brightest.”
She pulled him back around to her. “I know you want that. I’m just…”
“Not ready. I know. And I’m trying to be patient and not push you for something you aren’t ready to give. I’m just…” He repeated her words. “Lonely without you.”
She cupped his face, drawn in by his sadness. “I’m here.”
He shook his head. “Right now…yes. But then I lose you when you sink into that place where I can’t reach you. And it makes me feel desperate.”
“And alone.”
“Yes. I’m sorry. I know you’re going through a lot. You deserve your time and space to cope and heal in your own way and time.”
“You’re hurting, too, and you need me, too.”
He held her face, the way she held his. “I always need you. Always. Forever, if you’ll have me.” His earnest and love-filled gaze held hers.
She couldn’t find the words to tell him she wanted that but she was afraid. That glimpse of sheer joy they’d shared had been taken away. She didn’t know if she could have him and lose him again.
And if they went there, he’d want to have children.
The thought of losing another child scared her. But she didn’t want fear to deprive her of feeling the way she felt when she was pregnant. Happy. Expectant. Joyful as she dreamed of her daughter’s life.
Her arms ached to hold her baby.
Maybe one day she would hold another baby.
And maybe then she’d get to see the wonder and happiness in Cody’s eyes as her body changed and their child came safely into this world and their arms.
It would be such a blessing.
Cody kissed her forehead, drawing her out of her daydreaming, then stepped back and took her hand. “Come. Let me show you upstairs.” He didn’t say anything about her not answering him. He just led the way.
Maybe that was his plan for them getting back together. He’d simply lead her right into a relationship with him.
It wasn’t that long ago that she followed him everywhere.
Maybe it was that simple. That easy.
So she didn’t hesitate to walk out of the café and wait while Cody locked up.
“So this is how it is? I lose everything and Little Miss Magic Cunt gets you and is the talk of the town.”
Brooke nearly jumped out of her skin as she spun to face the woman spewing those angry words.
“Kristi,” she gasped, though she shouldn’t be surprised at all.