23. Chapter Twenty-Three
Chapter Twenty-Three
B rooke stood in the doorway, staring at Cody, highlighted by the single lamp on his desk, casting the rest of the room in shadows. She remembered a lot of other nights she’d found him just like this. She remembered the night they made love.
Deep in thought, he stared at nothing. She walked into the room and around the desk. She didn’t think he noticed her, then he reached out, took her hand, and pulled her gently down into his lap. She went willingly, sinking into his warmth. His arms wrapped around her. He pressed his cheek to her head and held her close. She sighed and snuggled in closer, her heart glowing warm with the love he made her feel more and more each day instead of the cold emptiness inside her.
“Hey, sweetheart. I was just thinking about you.” His deep voice resonated through her.
She traced her fingers along the vein running over his muscled forearm. “I hope I’m not the one who put that dark look in your eyes.”
His hand rested on her thigh and squeezed. “Never. I’ve just got a lot on my mind.”
His other hand held her bare arm. His fingertips traced the scars. The stark reminder of what happened would fade over time. But right now they stood out just like the nightmare in her mind. She wondered how long it would take them to fade.
Cody didn’t hesitate to take her hand and kiss each scar with openmouthed kisses. Each brush of his lips countered the grim sight of them with the warmth and desire he spread through her system.
He held something back from her despite his efforts to distract her from seeing it.
“What’s wrong, Cody?” The words were soft and coaxing.
The strain of whatever weighed on him left lines in his forehead and bracketed around his sad eyes. He leaned his forehead to hers and stared at her. He sighed his frustration. His breath washed over her face.
She placed her hand on his cheek. “Please, Cody, talk to me.”
“I love you.” He put his hand over hers on his face and looked her right in the eye. “I love you so much.”
The flutter in her heart made it feel like it could soar right out of her chest, yet she went still at the joy his words brought. After all she’d been through, she didn’t quite know what to do with the vibrant, light feeling inside her but stand still and bask in it.
Cody frowned. “If it takes a hundred million times to see you light up with happiness when I tell you I love you, I’ll do it. I won’t stop. I’ll never stop. Not until you really believe that everything you hoped for and dreamed about with me is yours. And no one is going to take it away from you or me or us. I love you.” His solemn eyes pleaded with her to hear him.
His head fell heavy against the seat back. His gaze fell away from her, so filled with regret and remorse it made her stomach sink and her heart ache.
Something inside her shifted.
How could she guard her heart and have the relationship she wanted with Cody? It wouldn’t work. Not like this. Not while she was holding back, holding him at arm’s length so she didn’t get hurt again.
Cody would never hurt her. He wanted to love her.
She wanted to love him. All she had to do was show him her heart might be broken, but it still beat for him.
Brooke closed the distance between them and kissed him softly, letting her lips linger over his in a kiss so achingly tender it brought tears to her eyes. She ended the kiss, rolling her head until their lips broke apart and her forehead touched his. She opened her eyes and stared into the blue depths of his, so filled with love for her it couldn’t be denied.
“‘I love you’ doesn’t cover how deeply, irrevocably I LOVE you.” She pressed her hand to the side of his face, her fingers softly caressing his temple, her thumb pressed to his soft lips. “I never stopped. I never will.” She kissed him again. Longer. Deeper. Lost in him and the love she felt him pour into the kiss to match her love for him.
“Say it again.” He grabbed fistfuls of her long hair and held her close.
“I love you. I’ve always loved you. I’ll love you until the day I die.”
“Will you marry me? Will you be mine forever?”
“I always have been. I always will be,” she answered without answering.
She hadn’t said she’d marry him, but she had told him what had always been true, and he’d never taken seriously. In fact, he’d taken it for granted.
Like he read her mind, he gave her what she needed. “I’m sorry I never accepted that, or realized the same is true of me. I’m yours, Brooke. I hope you know that.”
“I do. Everything has been so…overwhelming. Over the last few days, I feel like the postpartum depression, trauma, and my pregnancy hormones have eased off and I can breathe and think. I feel steadier. And a lot of that has to do with you.”
“I’ll do whatever it takes to help you heal and be happy and healthy again. I need you in my life. I need you by my side. I love you.”
“I want to be a real partner to you. So, please, tell me what upset you tonight.”
He barely hesitated before he confessed, “Doug called about the governor again.” Cody had been trying desperately to hold back the world and give her the time she needed to recover. She hadn’t really thought about how Cody had been dealing with his own grief, a full-time job, a breakup, a canceled wedding, the ranch, and now this. “I told him you’re not ready to talk about it.”
“Good. I didn’t get a say in whether or not Adam went to jail or that hospital. He doesn’t get a say in when I see him. Or how long it will take for me to be ready without it all crashing down on me again.” She shook off her rising ire and focused on him and the grin on his face. “What?”
“I love it that some of your spunk is back.”
She smiled for him, then kissed him tenderly, knowing that he’d noticed she’d initiated the kisses. “Let’s hold off the world for a little while longer.” She kissed him again. “Take me to bed, Cody. I need you as much as you need me.”
It was all getting to be too much, and she wanted to make him—both of them—feel better. She knew one way to do that.
“Are you saying what I hope you’re saying?”
“Yes. Make love to me, Cody. I need to be close to you. I think you need that, too.”
“I do. It’s just…as much as I want you, I’m afraid I’m going to hurt you, and the thought of that makes me sick.”
“I really am feeling better. No aches in my shoulder, arms, or abdomen. Just watch the wrist and ankle. Those I can keep out of the way. So, take me to bed. Love me.”
“I do. I will. Anytime. Always.” He stood with her in his arms and walked across the library with her pressed to his chest. She wrapped her arms around his neck, bent her head, and kissed a path up his neck to the back of his ear. Her fingers brushed through his hair. Her tongue swept along his earlobe a second before her lips closed softly around it.
He growled and took the stairs two at a time, kicked her bedroom door shut, set her on her feet by the bed, then sat and pulled her between his legs, his hands on her hips.
He placed one hand on her stomach and stared up at her, a question in his eyes.
“You won’t hurt me. Just love me.” She leaned in and kissed him again.
He swept his hands up inside her top and pushed it until he had to break the kiss to peel it over her head and down her arms. Her bra disappeared in a fraction of a second. Her breasts ached for his mouth. His lips pressed to the scars above her breast, then clamped onto her tight nipple. He swept his warm tongue over the peak, then sucked her into his mouth again and everything inside her turned molten.
“Yes, Cody. That’s what I want. You make me feel so good.” She moaned as he took her other nipple into his mouth, sucking hard, his teeth grazing the tight bud.
She let him know how much she liked it with another soft moan. She slid her fingers through his hair, arched her back and offered her breasts up for his thorough attention, and held him to her as he took his time and savored her.
With him distracted by her, she reached down, grabbed fistfuls of his shirt, and dragged it up and over his head, tossing it to the floor. She put her hands on his bare shoulders, felt the heat of him, and the rippling muscles beneath her palms.
“I think about that night all the time,” she admitted, sliding her fingers through his hair, holding him close. “How you touched me. How free I felt to be with you. It was all I ever wanted.”
Cody looked up at her, his palm over her breast. “ You are all I want.”
“Show me again.” She begged with her eyes.
He hooked his arm around her waist and pulled her close, taking her mouth in a deep kiss. He fell back on the bed and she lay on top of him, her legs dangling until she levered herself up and straddled his lap. His hard cock pressed against her soft folds. She rocked her hips and rubbed against him, needing the sweet agony of the contact that was just not enough.
His hands tightened on her hips. “Are you sure you’re up for this?”
She rubbed her aching center along his full length and hoped that answered his question. She wanted this. She needed it, to take back her body in this way after everything. Now she wanted to feel all the pleasure and share it with Cody. So she gave him the words to reassure him she was more than ready. “I want to feel you inside me and all around me. I want this to be a new start for us.”
He dipped his hands down the back of her leggings and panties and squeezed her ass, then pushed her along his length again. “I won’t let you go this time. Ever.”
“I know.”
He shifted her off of him and onto her back at his side and somehow pulled her pants and panties off all in one move, even with the small ankle brace. She lay there naked and desperate for his touch. The last of his clothes disappeared, but all she paid attention to was the revealing of all that skin and muscle. The way he moved, slow and deliberate as he leaned down and kissed her thigh, it built the anticipation and her need for him all at once. One kiss turned into two as he shifted between her legs and kissed his way up her thigh to her hip, then planted an openmouthed kiss just under her belly button.
His gaze shot up to hers, then he looked down at her mound and settled his big body between her thighs, pushed her legs wide, knees out so she was bared to him. His head dipped and his flat tongue licked her soft folds all the way up until the tip of his tongue teased her clit.
“Oh God, Cody, yes.”
He did it again and she melted into the mattress. He circled her clit with the tip of his tongue again and slid one finger deep into her. She rocked her hips as he slowly finger fucked her, his tongue teasing her clit and making her crazy for him.
She was nearly there. “Oh God, Cody, yes. Right there.”
To push her over the edge, he thrust two fingers deep and sucked her clit. She rode his fingers and shattered, her body spasming around his fingers and against his mouth.
His fingers worked her with a slow push and pull as her orgasm faded and he stared up at her. He pulled his fingers free, then stuck them in his mouth and sucked them clean. “You taste so damn sweet.” He licked his lips to get another taste.
And he wasn’t done with her yet. He kissed his way up her body, stopping to nip, lick, and suck her breasts. She slid her hands over his head, shoulders, and down his back. She dragged her fingers back up both sides of his spine, pulling him closer and up to her. He gave her a quick kiss on the lips, but didn’t settle on top of her, instead leaning over to open the bedside table drawer to pull out a condom and tear it open with his teeth.
She eyed him. “When did you put those there?”
“The day after I was back in your bed. The doctor said you can’t get pregnant again for at least six months. Your body needs time to heal. I won’t risk your health or the baby’s.
Her eyes glassed over just thinking about the baby they’d lost and if they’d ever try again. She wanted to. Someday. Maybe sooner than later, because she’d been so excited to be a mom. She loved being pregnant. The anticipation. The excitement of it all.
And she wanted to share it with Cody.
But maybe after losing two babies, Cody didn’t want to risk another heartbreak like that at all. “Do you still want to have children?”
“Yes,” he answered immediately. “I want a family with you. But not until you’re ready.” He cocked his head. “Unless you don’t want to—”
“I do. I want you to be part of all of it next time.”
“I do, too. When you’re ready. However long it takes. I’m in.” He kissed her softly. “Until then, we can spend this time reconnecting and loving each other. We will have a family, Brooke. I promise. Until then, let’s enjoy this.” Cody kissed her, distracting her from the past and showing her what they could have for their future. Each other.
She lost herself in the feel of him moving over her, kissing her lips, then trailing kisses down her neck and chest until he reached her breast and licked her tight nipple, then took it into his mouth, heating things up between them all over again in such a delicious, sexy way.
He kissed his way back up to her mouth and slid his tongue along hers in a deep, sensual kiss that only made her want more.
He kept most of his weight off her, but she loved the feel of his legs along hers, his hips nestled between her thighs, his hard cock pressed intimately against her wet folds as he gently rocked his length back and forth along her slit.
She brushed her hands up his back and down his spine to his hips. The head of his cock nudged her entrance but barely sank inside, even as she raised her hips to take him in deep.
Cody broke the kiss and stared down at her. “I love you.” With that, he slowly slid into her channel, joining their bodies and burying his cock to the hilt, stretching her deliciously.
Her body responded to the fullness and heat of him inside her. She pulled her knees back and he sank deeper.
“Fuck, yes, Brooke. You feel so perfect.” He pulled out in one long, deliberately slow glide, then sank back into her.
She squeezed his ass and rocked against him. His dick hit that spot deep inside her and she shivered with pleasure.
That’s all it took to get him to stop treating her like she would break. He pulled out and thrust deep again. She let him know how much she liked that by matching his toe-curling pace.
They lost themselves in each other, just like they did the first time, only this time they knew nothing would tear them apart.
They took their time, savoring every kiss, caress, and glide of their bodies moving together, joined in the magic they created until they were both overcome with desire, their hearts thundering, and they both came with their lips and hands joined, eyes locked on each other.
Cody’s breath panted in and out against her cheek. “Am I hurting you?” He tried to move off her, but she liked his weight and the feel of him surrounding her. She kept him where she wanted him with her good leg hooked over his ass.
She slid her hands down his spine to his lower back. “Stay. I’m good. This is perfect.”
He rose above her on his forearms and stared down at her, his blue eyes filled with such deep emotion her throat went tight. He slipped one hand behind her neck and into her hair and leaned down and pressed his lips to hers. He kissed her with so much love and longing, the emotions behind it welled up inside her heart and overflowed, bringing tears to her eyes. He brushed his thumb along her cheek and held her close as the kiss slowed to just their lips pressed together.
The kiss had rocked her to the core because of its simple demand that she give all her love along with the press of their lips. And she did. He had her heart. He was her everything.
“I love you so damn much, Brooke. Nothing will ever change that. No one will ever come between us again.”
She believed him with her whole heart. “I love you, too.”
Cody brushed his lips against hers one more time, then shifted to her side and rolled out of bed to do the condom cleanup. He was back in seconds, pulling her close.
She laid her head on his shoulder and snuggled into his big, warm body. He kept his solid arms banded around her. She felt protected and safe. The steady beat of his heart hypnotized her into that relaxed space between awake and sleep. She sighed, rubbing her cheek against his warm skin, and kissed his chest because he was there and she could. She sighed again and whispered, “I feel better.”
Cody hugged her tighter and kissed her head. “I’m glad. I know you miss her. So do I. We will always miss her, but we’ll be together, and I think she’d like that.”
Tears clogged her throat and choked off her words. “If I can’t have her, I’m happy I have you.”
“I wish you could have both of us. But I know how you feel. I’m so happy you’ve come home to me. This is only the beginning for us.” His arms tightened around her.
She believed him, and finally allowed herself to dream of a future with him again. She drifted off to sleep with that happy thought in her head and blossoming in her heart.