25. Chapter Twenty-Five
Chapter Twenty-Five
A dam sat in the chair opposite Dr. Green. He hated these mandatory therapy sessions. Even worse, the group ones.
Everyone stared at him.
Word had spread that the governor’s son was here. He had no privacy. He couldn’t make a phone call, send a text or email, go outside without an escort, let alone leave this fucking place. He couldn’t do anything without permission.
And right now, they’d placed restrictions on everything.
He hated the food, the constant supervision, the bare-bones room they gave him, the drugs they fed him that made him groggy, his head in a fog.
“How have you been sleeping?” Dr. Green sat across from him, his attention solely on Adam.
He hated the patient look in his eyes. “Fine.”
Dr. Green frowned. “Your chart states that you spend three to five hours a night pacing your room.”
Because they wouldn’t let him out to see her. They’d locked him in a cage. Didn’t they know he had to finish what he started? “When I sleep, it’s fine.”
“Any thoughts of harming yourself?”
Yes. Kill me now and save me from this incessant prying. “No.”
“What are you thinking about when you’re alone in your room at night, pacing?”
I think about her. “Nothing.”
“This process only works if you open up to it.”
“To you.” He eyed the doctor with disdain.
“Yes. I want to help you, so that one day you can go back to your life.”
Adam guffawed at that. “There’s no going back.”
“Why do you say that?” Dr. Green held his stare, one eyebrow raised. He didn’t know what had really happened. He thought Adam had tried to take his life. He didn’t know why.
The why mattered.
She mattered.
Adam couldn’t tell him what he’d done. Not that it would do any good. There was no taking it back. Saying I’m sorry wouldn’t fix anything. If he wasn’t here, he’d be in jail. At least here he had a chance to make things right. He needed to make things right. He needed to see her.
“Adam. Why can’t you go back to your life? You’ve graduated college. Aren’t you looking forward to getting a job after all the hard work you put into finishing your degree?”
“Sure. Whatever. Are we done?”
Dr. Green leaned in. “I’d like to talk about that night and what you were feeling before you tried to take your life.”
“Take it? It’s mine. I decide what to do with it.” That didn’t sound exactly right to his ears because up until he met Brooke, he’d still been trying to please his parents, doing everything they wanted him to do. He’d even taken a major that, yes, he was good at, but didn’t thrill him. He’d caved to pressure. So it would look good when his father talked about him.
Adam couldn’t give a shit what anyone thought. Except for Brooke. He needed to show her that she mattered. He was sorry. “When can I make a call?”
“Who do you want to call?”
“Her.”
“A girlfriend?”
“I thought she was.” In a way. This was as close as he could get to saying anything about Brooke without explaining what happened. “I need to talk to her.”
Dr. Green nodded like he understood, then crushed Adam’s hopes. “Now is the time to focus on yourself. She’ll be there when you’re better and able to communicate your feelings once you’ve reconciled what you did and why.”
“I know why.”
“Then let’s talk about it,” Dr. Green pushed.
“I did something terrible. I didn’t realize how bad, when I started. But now I know. I have to make it right.”
“You need to understand what led you to that dark place, how you ended up there, and what you can do to prevent yourself from ending up in that place again.”
“I know what I need to do, but no one will let me fucking do it.” He grabbed fistfuls of his sweats at his thighs in frustration as his right knee bounced up and down like a piston.
Dr. Green noted the nervous action. “What do you feel like you need to do?”
He gripped the arms of the chair so tight his knuckles went white. “You don’t understand.”
Dr. Green leaned forward, his forearms on his knees. “Help me understand by explaining it to me.”
“I hurt her. I need to make it right.”
“Do you think your loved ones are upset or angry about what you did?”
Of course they are. I’m a monster. One that needs to be put down.
But all I want is her.
He rocked back and forth in his chair. Please. I need her.
She had to have gotten his note.
She knew he was coming to see her.
His parents had refused to send her his letters, so he’d had to find another way. The cute young nurse who was so eager to help, so enamored with the fact that she got to take care of the governor’s son, the one who didn’t want to get into trouble by upsetting him and possibly getting fired for not taking care of him.
She didn’t know what he’d done. No one here did.
So he had a cute little nurse who was eager to please. And yes, he fucking used it. Her.
He begged her to get the note to Brooke with a simple story of how he loved Brooke and wanted her to know that after everything that had happened, he still loved her. They weren’t over.
Little Nurse Nell ate that shit up, and because the facility was close to downtown and Brooke’s bookstore, she agreed to drop the note off there, refusing to take it to Brooke’s house. She didn’t want to get caught as his go-between.
What-the-fuck-ever.
She’d reported back that not only did she deliver the note, but she’d put it on Brooke’s car so she wouldn’t miss it.
He knew he was taking risks, but it was the only way to let Brooke know he’d fix this. Them.
Which gave him another idea. Her store was soon to open. He’d send her a gift to let her know he was thinking about her.
He was always thinking about her.
Adam stood. “I’m done. I want to go back to my room now.”
Nurse Nell would be there soon with his next round of meds. He’d take them because he had to, then send her off on another errand.
She wouldn’t deny him.
He was the governor’s son.