31. Chapter Thirty-One
Chapter Thirty-One
C ody had woken up every morning wrapped around Brooke for weeks and he loved it. And her. More each and every day. So when he opened his eyes to the bright sunlight and saw Brooke’s side of the bed empty, his happiness at greeting another day with her dimmed to concern. Especially because of the turbulent visit they’d had with the governor last night.
Something was wrong. He felt it to his bones.
He threw off the covers, grabbed his slacks from the chair beside the bed and pulled them on, then ran from the room. He pounded down the stairs and rushed into the dining room, hoping to find Brooke eating breakfast with her mom.
The room stood empty, amplifying his fears.
He found Susanne in the kitchen with Janie. “Where’s Brooke?”
Susanne set her coffee mug on the breakfast table with a thump. The hot brew sloshed over the edge onto the counter. Her eyes went wide, sweeping over his bare chest to his pants barely hanging on his hips. “I haven’t seen Brooke this morning. I thought she was upstairs with you.”
“I woke up alone.”
Janie wrung a dish towel in her hands. “Maybe she had a bad dream and needed some air. She probably walked down to the stables to see the horses.”
It could be true, but anytime she had a bad dream in the past, she turned to him. Why not this time? “I’ll call down to the stables and see if she’s there.”
Cody rushed to his study to make the call. Out of the corner of his eye, he noticed the truck Brooke liked to use when she was home wasn’t in the driveway and stopped short.
In his haste to find her, he hadn’t considered what Brooke would do if she was really upset. It hit him all at once. He knew where to find her. He ran up the stairs, taking them two at a time, and went straight to his bedroom to change and gather what he needed.
Ready to leave, he pounded down the stairs again.
Susanne waited at the bottom.
“I know where she went. I’ll bring her back. Don’t worry, everything will be fine.”
Susanne nodded, completely trusting in Cody. “Go get her.”
Cody ran out the front door. He had everything he needed, except Brooke. He refused to let her sink back into depression and live in the dark world that sucked her away from him. He’d find a way to pull her back to him again. He’d done it before. He’d keep doing it until she found a way to live in the light and enjoy her life again. A life he wanted her to live with him.
The sleek sports car roared over the road. The comforting rumble of the engine helped settle his mood. The turnoff to the dirt road came into view, along with Brooke’s truck, parked just where he knew he’d find it. Skidding to a stop, he killed the engine and got out. He walked the trail through the tall grass and trees, winding his way down to the creek. He walked into the clearing and sighed out his relief. Brooke had brought a thick blanket and spread it on the bank by the rushing water. Lying on her side, facing the water, she slept soundly in her favorite spot. Soft hiccups punctuated her shallow breathing. She’d cried herself to sleep.
His heart clenched with sadness. She’d turned away from him, rejected him, deciding to be alone instead. Why?
He slid down onto the blanket beside her and pulled her against his chest. Holding her close, he listened to the water and her soft breath. She didn’t stir, but snuggled closer into his embrace. He had to admit, he liked her pretty spot. The hypnotic rhythm of the tinkling, gurgling water settled his nerves and steadied him. The quiet solitude became a part of him.
Maybe that’s what Brooke needed.
Still, he didn’t like waking up alone, not knowing where she’d gone.
The cadence of her breathing changed, alerting him she was finally awake. Brooke rubbed her hand over his on her belly and scooted closer to him.
“I woke up alone and you were just gone.” He held her close and buried his face in her hair. “Why?
Brooke reached back and slid her fingers over his head. “You missed me.”
“Always.” He kissed her neck. “But you scared me.”
She turned and looked back at him. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to do that.”
“Don’t do it again,” he grumbled.
“You haven’t had your coffee,” she teased.
He was always a bear in the morning until he got his caffeine fix. “No. I haven’t. I came after you.”
“You must really love me if you gave up your coffee just to come and find me when you already knew where I’d be.”
“How did you know I’d know where to find you?”
She leaned back and looked up at him. “Because you know me better than anyone.”
He did. And he loved that she’d counted on him to come after her this morning.
“Yeah, well, you know me, and you knew I’d be concerned when I woke up without you, but you did it anyway.”
“Truthfully, I wasn’t thinking clearly. I couldn’t sleep and I didn’t want to wake you. I needed to be alone to sort out my thoughts and feelings.”
“Alone, huh?”
“Yes, but that doesn’t mean I don’t need and want you.”
Thank God. She wasn’t pulling away from him .
“Next time, tell me you’re going out. After last night, I didn’t know what to think. You weren’t in the house and I thought…” He’d thought the worst. When he drove out here, he expected to find her in bad shape. She didn’t seem to be. In fact, she’d joked with him. Her words, her mood, everything about her seemed steady.
Her gaze dropped. “You should have told me about the woman who committed suicide.” Her sad eyes met his. “I’m not so fragile that I’ll shatter.”
“I know you’re not. You proved that last night when you handled the governor with such strength and conviction.”
“I needed him and his wife to understand. They never saw their son for who he really was. And I don’t mean the bad part of him. His life was stunted by expectations and living up to an image he didn’t want any part of and never fit him.” She stared out at the water. “He turned my understanding of that into an obsession and a need to possess the one person who saw him as an individual. Everyone needs to be seen for who they are and to be appreciated by those close to them. He took it to a dark place.”
“You’ve really thought about this.” He brushed his fingers over her soft cheek. “You sound different, Brooke.”
“I’m better. As much as it hurt to talk to the governor and his wife about what their son cost me, I think it helped me to accept it. I will always miss her. I’ll forever wish for her. But I need to live my life and not live to grieve her.”
He let that sink into his battered heart. “I feel the same way, sweetheart. I can live with the hole in my heart because you fill up all the other places inside me.”
“You do the same for me, Cody. Maybe you don’t believe that, but it’s true.”
“I want to be the one you can always count on.” He hadn’t been that for her in the past, but he meant to be that from now on. “I want you to believe in me. In us.”
They were together, but she hadn’t made a commitment to him. He wanted that more than anything.
“Cody.”
“Yes, sweetheart?”
Her gaze locked with his, her eyes so earnest, a fathomless depth of how she felt. “I love you.”
He cupped her cheek and held her loving gaze. “I love you, too. More than I’ve ever loved anyone. And I know you love me. But when you say it…man, it hits me. Every time. I can’t get enough of hearing you say it.” He dipped his head and kissed her softly. Reverently.
God this woman owned him, heart and soul.
She brushed her fingers through his hair. “Right now my feelings are raw and all over the place. The only thing I know for sure each day is that you love me. That’s part of why I came out here this morning. I’ve spent the last several weeks surviving in the aftermath of what happened. My psychiatrist kept telling me to find a way to live with what happened and not in what happened. I didn’t truly understand what that meant until I came out here and thought about what I want for myself and my life. I think I needed these last few weeks to grieve for everything I’ve lost. Not just our girl, but the person I used to be. I don’t think I’ll ever be her again.”
“Honey, if you tell me the Brooke I’ve known for more than ten years is gone, I won’t believe you. You’re still you, just stronger, more independent. Someone who goes after what she wants. You’re the happy, nurturing, loving woman I’ve always known and so much more now because of what you’ve been through.”
Her lips tilted into a soft grin. “I’m not the na?ve girl I used to be. I played a lot of childish games chasing after you.” She put her hand over his on her belly. “It was selfish and callous not to tell you about the baby. You were her father, and I regret not telling you and dealing with the situation head-on.”
He appreciated that. “It was a complicated situation that I didn’t handle well either. We were both trying not to hurt each other and not to get hurt. In the end, we realized that the only way to be happy was if we were together, because we love each other. That’s what really matters.”
She pulled him into a hug. “I love you so much, Cody. Loving you and being loved by you has gotten me through these last few weeks. Your steady and constant love has made it possible for me to wind my way through all the crazy twists and turns of my thoughts and emotions. No matter how hard I pushed you away, I knew you’d stand beside me. I knew you’d understand I wasn’t in my right mind and I needed you to just hold on to me.”
He pressed his forehead to her soft hair, his lips next to her ear. “I will never let go, Brooke.” A promise he’d never break.
She turned in his arms and looked him in the eye. “I know. I believe it, because you show me every day.”
He traced his fingers across her forehead and tucked her hair behind her ear. “And I will keep showing you how much I love you for the rest of our lives.”
“About that and our life together…”
He raised a brow. “What about it?”
“I want to use the money the governor gave me and buy the pizza place I told you about. Instead of a partnership with Mrs. Marino, I want to buy it outright, so she can let the place go after it’s served her family all these years, and she can do what she wants now, instead of carrying on a legacy for her late husband that she doesn’t want anymore.”
“Sounds like a plan.”
She rubbed the back of her fingers over the scruff of his stubbly beard. He hadn’t shaved this morning before chasing after her.
He smiled and kissed her fingers when she brushed them over his lips. “You’re smart and organized and can accomplish anything you set your mind to, like making me fall head over heels in love with you.” That made her giggle. “I think it’s perfect, Brooke. Whatever I can do to help, I’m in.”
“I can already see the renovation and the new menu. I want to add an ice cream counter, where kids can pick out their favorite flavor and toppings. For her. Because she made me crave ice cream every day.”
He smiled and brushed his nose against hers. “I love it.”
“Now that I’ve told you and you’re excited about it, too, I feel like I can really do it.”
“Of course you can.”
“I’ll have my bookstore, the café, and Italian place with ice cream as the cherry on top. And we’ll run the ranch together. It’s our home. It’s always been ours. Someday soon, we’ll get married, and as soon as it’s possible, and we’re both ready, I want us to have another baby. Or two. Three tops.” Her vibrant smile brightened her green eyes. “We’ll make a real life together.” She was practically doing the proposing for him.
“I want you to be my wife, the mother of my kids, my partner in everything. I want you in my arms every night and to wake up to you every morning.” He squeezed her to him and stole a kiss, then slipped his hand into his pocket and pulled out the red velvet box. “Will you make me the happiest man on the planet and in the universe and marry me, Brooke?” He flipped open the box and showed her the sparkling round pink diamond solitaire ring. Pink for their little girl. A reminder she didn’t need but she’d carry with her every day.
She gasped. “Yes,” she squealed. “I can’t wait to marry you.”
He kissed her so passionately she was panting and curled around him in seconds as they celebrated and poured their love and excitement into the kiss.
Brooke started giggling against his lips. “I can’t believe you asked me.” Her eyes were bright with joy. “You know you’re the only man I’d ever marry.”
“Absolutely. You can’t resist me.” He slid the ring onto her finger.
The diamond caught the light and sparkled as bright as the smile on her face.
“It’s so pretty. Why a pink diamond?”
“To remember what we lost and what we have. Forever, Brooke. Me and you.”
The smile she gave him was full of love and joy, touched with the sadness they’d always feel when they thought of the missing piece of them.
He kissed her again and held her close to his chest, and breathed a huge sigh of relief. Things were finally as they should be.
They’d only get better now. They’d turned a corner.
“I can’t resist you.” She reached up and cupped the back of his neck and brought his mouth to hers for another scorching kiss.
He smiled down at her. “I like your quiet spot by the creek.”
“It’s so pretty here. And private . I can share a quiet moment among the flowers with the man I love.”
He gave her a wicked grin. “Let’s make the moment count.”
She smiled right before he took her mouth in a searing kiss and made love to her right there on the bank of the creek with the birds chirping, butterflies dancing from flower to flower, and the sound of the water carrying their soft sighs and moans away as he showed her how much he loved her.
This was how he planned they’d spend the rest of their lives. Happy. Together.