Chapter 10
Chapter Ten
SOFIE
The storm breaks just as I get to the Wagoneer. I think about Zach getting soaked as I drive down the long gravel access road in the deluge. I never did find out what he was doing today, but I don’t think he planned to tell me.
The rain turns to hard hail that clatters on the roof and piles up on the hood, but by the time I get to the outskirts of Finn River, the sun is breaking through the clouds. The wet pavement is the only evidence that it rained at all.
A little like the buzzing in my chest from Zach’s kiss.
What the hell am I doing?
When I pull up to the house, Jesse is playing fetch with Fergie, her tongue hanging out like they’ve been at this awhile. Neve’s car isn’t here, and neither is Dad’s work truck.
My gaze zeroes in on Jesse again—his sling is gone. So of course the first thing he does is jump back on his dirt bike.
“Where’ve you been?” Jesse asks when I step out of the car. The grass is wet, but the roads weren’t too bad, like our part of town missed the brunt of the storm.
“Volunteering.” He doesn’t need to know about Zach.
“Thought it was canceled.” His tone has an edge to it. Like he’s upset I didn’t invite him, but he’s turned down my last two work parties, so why would I bother?
I let myself in through the gate. “I was already packed up, so I went anyway.”
“Let me guess, ol’ Dustin got his dates mixed up again?” He shakes his head for emphasis.
“Don’t be mean.”
Jesse lobs another long toss. Fergie takes off. “I talked to Mom.”
I drop my pack below the stoop and use the walk to the swing to gather my courage. “What’d she want?”
The cuffs of my jeans are still damp from the creek, reminding me of those stolen moments with Zach. I shouldn’t have let him inside my head like that. But he’s proving impossible to resist. I’m never going to forget that kiss.
Jesse’s eyes fill with longing, twisting my heart to shreds. “She said I need to be in L.A. Said she’d fly me out there.”
He likely doesn’t want my criticism. “What do you think?”
Fergie lopes back from the edge of the yard, so focused on the game that she barely gives me a glance on her way.
Jesse squats down and scratches Fergie’s head. “It’s not like I won’t come back.”
Using the tips of my toes, I rock the swing back and forth, the rope scratchy on my sore palms. I should ice my left wrist. “Sounds like you’ve already decided.”
“Neve thinks I should go.”
Oh.
“She believes in me, Sofie.”
The implication is clear as day—he thinks I don’t.
“What about Dad?”
He lobs the ball again and Fergie takes off, relentless. “I thought maybe… you could tell him.”
The surrounding green and yellows swirl in my vision. Zach’s Is that what it’s like for you? rings through my mind.
“He’ll just tell me not to,” Jesse adds.
“Because he cares about you. Where would you live in L.A.? With Mom? ”
He grimaces.
Not that I’d want that, but at least I wouldn’t worry about him ending up on the streets.
“She said she’d help. I’d still have to get a job. Hopefully as an assistant or something.”
“Or something?”
He shrugs.
I gaze up at the interlacing aspen branches and rock the swing with my heels. Fergie returns with the ball.
“The crash made me rethink a lot of things,” Jesse says. “If I don’t do this, it feels like giving up.”
This sounds like Mom talking. Did she give herself a similar pep talk before she bailed on us? “You are so far from giving up. This isn’t the only way. You know that, right?”
“I know.” His tone is turning defensive. He tosses the ball, and Fergie lopes off.
“What about Winter Games ?” Baiting him with his Winter Range film is weak—Jesse hasn’t been in the field with us since the accident—but I’m not above trying.
“I don’t have my drone anymore.”
Alarm bells clang in the back of my mind. “What do you mean?”
“I don’t know where it is.”
“Like someone stole it? Or you lost it, or…?”
“I didn’t sell it,” he interrupts, his eyes sharp.
“Okay,” I say in a steady tone while stuffing my worries down. Because that’s exactly where my mind went—that he’d sold the drone for drug money.
“Maybe someone stole it, I don’t know. I thought I had it at Neve’s but it’s not there.”
Jesse misplaces things sometimes, so it might turn up. At least it wasn’t in the back of the CJ-7. “How much filming do you have left?”
He lowers to the grass with a sigh and leans back on his hands. “Not a lot. But… I don’t know if it’s what I want to be doing. What if I get pegged as some woo-woo nature cinematographer or something? That’s not me. ”
This is new thinking, so I tread lightly. “At one time, you had a lot of passion for that story.”
Ferg returns and collapses in the grass between the V of Jesse’s legs, tongue hanging sideways while she pants.
“Did you apply for that internship?” I ask.
“I don’t want to work on a miniseries.”
I resist the urge to roll my eyes. “How do you know unless you try? And it’s about making connections. Look at it like a stepping stone.”
“I’m going to L.A.”
My heart feels tight and sharp behind my ribs, making me wince.
“What about Neve?” Though I think she’s contributing to my brother’s distorted view of the world, she’s in Finn River and not L.A.
He shrugs. “We aren’t exclusive.”
I don’t press this because what’s the point? He’s got it worked out in his mind that he can have everything he wants.
“When will you leave?”
“A couple of weeks, maybe.”
He looks at me for the first time. I try to hold onto the purity and focus I see in his determined gaze. I need it to banish my fears.
Banish the hurt.
“You’ll tell Dad?” he asks.
For the second time today, I blink back tears. “Yeah.”
Linnie’s school bus rumbles past our driveway.
“Stay and take Linnie out on the quad,” I say. Even though she’s been riding her own dirt bike since her tenth birthday, a quad ride with her brother would be ten times more fun.
“Can’t,” Jesse says, already walking toward the garage. “Tell her hi from me, though.”
Gritting my teeth, I let myself out through the gate and hurry down the driveway to meet Linn. It gives me the space I need to get my shit together, but Linnie’s serene eyes tense when she steps off the bus.
“What’s wrong?”
“Nothing!” I smile. “How was your day?”
She watches me a moment longer, then shrugs. “It was okay.”
The bus door squeaks shut, and the wheels crackle on the gravel as it continues down the road .
I lift her backpack from her shoulder and sling it over mine. “I rescued an owl today.”
Her eyes widen. “Where?”
I rattle off a quick summary.
“Who’s Zach? Is he a volunteer?”
I choose my words carefully, or she’ll know there’s more to the story. “He’s doing some work for the ranch, and he just happened to be there.”
And I just happened to kiss him.
“I’m glad you found her,” Linnie says, her tone heavy with grief. “I wish I could have been there to help.”
I’m grateful the attention isn’t stuck on me, but I don’t like that she feels left out. “It was intense, Linn. Even though we were helping her, she was really stressed.”
“Still. I’m good in a crisis. Dad even says so.”
I resist the urge to yank her into a hug and squeeze her. She’s so damn precious I can hardly stand it sometimes. “He’s right. There’s nobody else I’d want in a crisis but you.”
Her eyes are wide. “Nobody?”
The implications are clear. She likely means our dad, or Jesse, but my mind goes to Zach, and how calm and focused he was. All confidence and totally in control. Under normal circumstances, this is not a turn-on.
The rescue took minutes, yet I’ll be replaying them until the end of time.
“You’re my first pick,” I say as we approach the house. Fergie is lying in the middle of the yard, panting with her tongue lolling in the grass. Her eyes follow us as we enter the gate.
“Awe, you wore her out.” Linnie hurries over and dives into the grass. Fergie rewards her with sloppy kisses.
I don’t correct Linnie because she’ll just get sad that Jesse didn’t stay.
Linnie giggles. “You stink, Ferg.”
Inside, I fix Linnie a snack and put away what’s left of her lunch. There’s not much, which is a promising sign. But what’ll happen when Jesse leaves for L.A. ?
That night, I don’t see Dad until late. He’s beat from a long day in the field but insists on tucking Linnie into bed. After, he joins me in the barn where I’ve put Cocoa in her stall. He brings in her dinner while I brush her. Her coat is stiff from Dad’s full day in the saddle and dusty from the drive down.
“There’s leftover chicken in the fridge,” I tell him while making long strokes down Cocoa’s hindquarters.
“Saw that. Thanks.” He checks Cocoa’s water, then gives her neck a gentle stroke. “Linnie have a good day?”
“Yeah. She got invited to a birthday party on Friday. I can take her.”
Dad nods in acknowledgment. “Linn says you rescued an owl today, huh?”
I pat Cocoa’s rump as I move behind her to the other side. “Yeah.”
“I’m sorry I wasn’t there.”
“It worked out okay.”
“I’m glad.” I can’t see him because of my position but he sounds… tired.
I gather my courage to discuss Jesse’s plans to leave, but before I can start, Dad says, “I found another elk carcass.”
“Poacher?”
“Looks that way.”
“That’s awful.”
“Yeah.”
I pause my brushing to let Cocoa yank a clump of alfalfa from her feeder, then move to her back. “Can you get help from one of the other districts?”
“I notified Brinnon. I also collected some forensics. Maybe the lab will find something.”
I peer around the back of Cocoa while brushing down her left side. “I got this. Go eat.”
He hesitates for a second, but he’s too tired to argue with me. “Thanks, Sofie.”
By the time I finish turning out Cocoa, Dad’s in bed, and the house is silent. I make sure the range is off and the coffeemaker is set, then take a long shower before falling into bed.
Sleep doesn’t come easy. I should have told Dad about Jesse. When I close my eyes, I start dreaming of the owl Zach and I rescued. The way she calmed when she felt safe, then took off the first chance she got.
Zach’s is that what it’s like for you? rattles around in my head.
Something stiff pokes from the pocket of my work chinos when I get ready for work. It’s Teague Lennox’s card, the one with just a phone number. Crap. I forgot to call him.
As soon as I get Linnie off to school, I slip the card from my pocket and dial from the house line. Maybe I’m being paranoid about not using my cell, but whatever.
He answers on the second ring.
“Mr. Lennox? It’s Sofie Whittaker from the Childcare Center.”
“Hey, Sofie,” he says, his tone warm, like he’s excited to hear from me.
“Sorry I didn’t call this weekend.” I hold back from sharing the reasons why. He likely has no interest in my life.
“No problem. I’ve got an event at the house this Friday, and I need help with Arlo. Would you be interested? Your boss said it’s okay to ask you.”
He already cleared it with Eddi, huh? That means I definitely can’t bow out. “What time?” I’m pulling fences until four, and then I need to take care of Linnie until Dad gets home.
“Seven o’clock, but these things sometimes go into the wee hours. It’s probably best if you stay the night. There’s a guest room. I’d pay you extra, of course.”
It’s not unusual to get babysitting requests. Last winter, Ava landed a month-long gig with a family she adored and made enough money to cover an entire semester’s tuition. So why does saying yes to Mr. Lennox make my chest feel tight?
“Arlo would love it,” Mr. Lennox says. “There’s the pool, and the game room, or movies—whatever you guys want to do.”
“I just need to check on one thing,” I say. “But I should be able to.”
“Wonderful. Arlo will be thrilled.”
“I’ll get back to you later today.”
“Arlo will be at the Childcare Center on Wednesday. You can tell me then.”
Kind of demanding, but he’s a Hollywood star, used to getting his way. Maybe that’s what’s got me feeling hesitant. “All right.”
We end the call, and I finish the dishes, then brush my teeth and slip into my coat.
I tell myself it’ll be fine. It’s a babysitting gig. One night. Just because I’m on edge about it doesn’t mean Mr. Lennox has anything else on his mind besides someone he trusts to take care of his kid.
So why am I considering turning him down?