Chapter 17
Chapter Seventeen
SOFIE
Henry says something to Zach, drawing his attention away from me. I follow Barb through the open back door of the barn and turn left on a worn path through the dry grass. My heart flutters like a bird in my chest, tickling my insides.
Henry and Zach exchange words I can’t hear. Zach nods and eases down the fence, his grimace a testament to how much he’s still hurting.
“I was going to take Galaxy on a short trail walk after Zach got him warmed up.” Barb shoots me a warm smile. “Maybe the two of you could go instead?”
“Oh, um, sure.” My voice is up in the high notes. I smile back at her to make up for it.
Henry slings his arm over Barb’s shoulders, and they stroll back into the barn. I watch them go while their simple, unspoken welcome trickles down to my toes. Moments later, they’ve melted back inside, leaving me and Zach and the foal alone in the brisk wind.
When I turn away, Zach is standing close to the foal, stroking his neck.
“This is Galaxy?” I climb up the fence rails so I can sit on the top one. It’s a much better view. The cool afternoon breeze whisks past my hot cheeks .
“Barb named him.” Zach reaches up to scratch his cheek.
“He seems very sweet. Skinny, though. Is he a rescue?”
“Yeah. Barb said she couldn’t resist.” He ducks under Galaxy’s neck and gives his lead rope a gentle tug while clicking his tongue to get him moving. By the way Galaxy’s leg muscles quiver, he hasn’t been exercised in a while.
They walk the perimeter of the corral. Galaxy’s head bobs, his gait slow but steady. It’s going to take consistent care for Galaxy to get strong again, and maybe longer for him to learn to trust people. Though it looks like Zach is already making progress in that area.
“So besides having expert knowledge of falconry, you’re a horse whisperer, too?” I call out over the wind’s steady hum.
To my delight, Zach grins, making his blue eyes twinkle. “The only thing I know about horses is they poop a lot.”
“You seem to be doing okay with this one.”
The steady thump of the horse’s hooves on the soft dirt as they walk is proof enough.
“My dad was a vet. Sometimes, we took in horses to get them well.”
I don’t miss his use of the past tense. “Are you saying I should strike former cowboy off my list?”
He shoots me a playful glance. “What list is this one?”
“What you did in your past life. Before you came to Finn River.”
I lose sight of him on the other side of Galaxy’s neck as they pass me. Galaxy is breathing harder, his nostrils flaring, but he’s doing the work. That such a sweet animal would be neglected cracks something painful inside me, but I tell myself that with the Huttons and Zach, he’ll get strong again. He’s going to be okay.
“Not a lot of ranching where I come from,” Zach says as they continue around the corral. “No big need for cowboys.”
I file away his where I come from bit for another time. “Bodyguard?”
He cracks another grin, which turns to laughter. He hisses in pain.
“Sorry,” I say, wincing.
He glances over, and I smile.
“Swimmer?” I remember the water squirting from his fist.
He shakes his head, but the thoughtful set to his jaw makes me think I’m getting warmer. “An athlete, though, right? ”
“I played football and baseball. I like mountain biking too.”
The idea of him in athletic tights is almost too much for me. Trying to be discreet, I release a slow breath.
He passes by me again. Galaxy’s not breathing any harder, which is a good sign.
When Zach gets to the far side, he glances over. “Why psychology?”
“Because I like knowing the whole story.” He’s not the first person to ask me this.
Zach grunts, his eyes on his boots.
“it’s impossible to help a person otherwise.”
“Not everyone needs helping,” he says on his way past me again.
“That’s true.”
He squints up at me. “Does that get to you?”
This is the second time he’s asked a question like this. It’s as if he’s trying to find the shortcut to what’s underneath my words. Like he yearns for understanding. Before that kiss in my kitchen, he told me he cares, but I wasn’t ready to believe him. Is this the proof I was looking for?
“I hate seeing someone suffer,” I say. “Especially when there are tools and resources that could help.”
“Did this start with your brother?”
I smooth my palms down my thighs, thinking this over. “Probably.”
“Some problems aren’t easily fixed.”
This is sounding personal, and I don’t want to do anything to spook him from saying more, so I nod. “Most of them aren’t.”
“How old were you when your mom left?” Zach asks.
I’m not shocked he knows this—it’s legendary Finn River lore—and though I’m curious how he found out, I’m more interested in why he wanted to. “Fifteen.”
Zach keeps walking, but his jaw is set, and his grip on the rope turns his knuckles white.
“When you told me about Jesse wanting to move to L.A., is your mom part of that plan?”
The weight of this drastic shift in my life feels incredibly heavy—though maybe it’s a little bit easier in this moment.
“Yeah,” I say on an exhale .
Zach stops in front of me, with Galaxy huffing softly, his ears relaxed. “That must hurt after what she did.”
Moving slowly so I don’t spook either of them, I slide down to the ground. After I let Galaxy sniff my hand, I give his forelock a rub, his thick, coarse mane slipping through my fingers. His bones feel too close to the skin, so I keep my strokes gentle.
“I wish it didn’t.” It comes out sounding wistful, which makes me wince. “I don’t want to disrespect her. She stuck it out for as long as she could.”
A dark look passes through Zach’s eyes. “You make it sound like caring for her family was some sort of sentence.”
“I guess I’m saying she tried.” Memories of our last argument flash through my mind, but I shake them off with a deep sigh. “We certainly didn’t make it easy.”
He scoffs. “Don’t for one second think her leaving is your fault.”
While this is very kind and, no doubt, heartfelt, Zach wasn’t there. He didn’t witness the battles Mom and I had, and her warning that I was headed for trouble. In a way, she was right, and I hate that more than anything. “She and I were having some, uh, challenges. Jesse was cutting school. And Dad’s job was intense that fall.”
“All the more reason to be there,” Zach says, his voice tense. “Instead, she leaves when it sounds like you all needed her most.”
I remember what Ava said—that it’s all in the past, that I can be free of it now.
“This is why college is on hold?” Zach asks when I don’t answer, as if he senses the turbulence in my thoughts.
“I couldn’t leave my family, so I took all of the classes I could online and at Bitterroot Community College, but the rest needs to wait until I can enroll full-time at Western.”
“So you’re putting everything off for them.”
“It was my choice.” I kiss the white star on Galaxy’s nose.
The tension behind Zach’s eyes tells me he’s weighing his words, like he’s fighting the instinct to dig deeper. “I never went to college.”
I love that he’s offered me something of himself in this moment. “Do you want to?”
“To be a vet, like my dad, I would have to. ”
“You’re certainly good with animals,” I pet Galaxy’s neck. “Is that what you want?”
He shrugs. “Brian was going to help me become a firefighter.”
“Who’s Brian?”
“A family friend. From back home.”
I get the feeling something big happened to disrupt these plans he was considering. “Why couldn’t he still help you?”
“I let some people down when I left home, including Brian.” He swallows, and his face calms. “But it was the only way to protect my little brother.”
I hold his gaze so he knows I’m not afraid. That I can be trusted with something so important. “That sounds really tough, Zach.”
He heaves a full breath. “He’s safe now, but I don’t know for how much longer.”
This feels heavy, and I’m desperate to ask for more, but he’s including me, and the last thing I want to do is spook him with my rabid curiosity. “Is there anything you can do for him?”
“Stay away until things settle down,” he says in a strained voice.
Is this why he seems ready to bolt at any moment? What things need settling?
Zach gazes across the corral to the horizon, giving me a moment to take in his strong jaw and his dark lashes. “How are you going to let Jesse go?”
“I don’t know.” I remember Kirilee’s words about not holding Jess and Linnie’s lives in my palm forever. She’s right, yet not doing so feels terrifying.
To my surprise, Zach steps close and reaches an arm around me. I’m mindful of his wounds, but his warmth and manly scent and the strength in his body make it impossible not to reach for him too. I slide my arms around his waist and press my cheek to his chest.
“How did you get my phone number?”
“It’s on your refrigerator.”
“You memorized it?”
He leans back to catch my eye. “Does that brain of yours ever stop working?”
I laugh. “Would you like me better if it did? ”
Galaxy shifts his weight, tugging on the rope Zach’s holding. He grunts in pain.
I cover his hand with mine on the rope. The contact between our hands quickly warms, turning what should be a simple exchange into something charged.
His gaze meets mine, the blue there so deep and true. “I like the way you are just fine.”
My heart ga-wumps into my throat.
From deep inside the barn, Barb says something to Henry, who gives a hearty guffaw.
Zach’s gaze flicks to the barn and back, like he’s asking if I’m okay being this close to him with the Huttons nearby. But I don’t feel self-conscious around them. I almost get the sense they’re glad I’m here.
That would be a first.
“Should we walk?” Zach asks.
I take Galaxy’s rope and follow Zach through the gate on the other side of the corral. “The trail goes to the edge of the valley and loops back. It’s not far.”
I click my tongue to keep Galaxy moving. The stubby, dry prairie grass crunches beneath my sandals. I really should be wearing boots for this, but as long as Galaxy behaves, I’ll be okay. Where the prairie breaks over a rise, a trail leads into a grove of trees. Inside, the forest swallows us up, and the cool air tastes of dust and pine. The trail widens, allowing Zach and I to walk side by side with Galaxy trudging along behind.
Zach sends me a thoughtful glance. “What did you come here to tell me?”
I thought I felt eyes on me when I stood in the driveway. Knowing he was watching gives me a secret thrill. “Gabe’s front left headlight isn’t busted. No scratched paint, either.”
Zach releases a soft sigh. “Do I want to know how you learned this?”
His tone has an edge to it.
“I saw him at Autumn Fest. So I grabbed Ava and we snuck to the parking area to look for his truck.”
Zach doesn’t reply, and our footfalls and Galaxy’s hooves on the hard ground fill the silence.
“I can see how Gabe would want to stop you from telling anyone about those salt licks, but I don’t think he was the one who came after you that night.”
The trees thin and we come to the edge of the river canyon, which slopes down a few hundred feet of sandy dirt and jumbled rock to the wide, shallow river. Beyond, the Bitterroots rise into the late afternoon haze, their peaks white with snow. The trail splits, but Zach pauses.
“Any chance he’s the one poaching?” he asks.
I think about Gabe’s most recent warning. Why did I sleep with him on New Year’s Eve? Why did I let my guard down at the concert? “He can be reckless, but I don’t think he’d risk his job like that. Sage Creek is a reputable outfitter, established. When ranch guests want to hunt, they always hire their guides.”
He must see the distaste in my expression because his voice softens. “Was he reckless with you?”
“It didn’t start out like that.” I shrug like I can make the heavy emotions rising through me slough off my shoulders. If only.
Zach reaches for my hand. His touch is so gentle, reassuring.
“I broke up with him for good on New Year’s.”
Zach pulls me close and kisses my forehead.
With a sigh, I wrap my free hand around his waist and lean into him, the steady tap of his heart against his ribcage reassuring, solid.
“Did something happen that night?” He strokes my hair and down my lower back. It’s reassuring and sweet, but scary because of what I want it to mean.
“He knew I’d be a mess. I always am that night. I should have told him off.” I cringe against Zach’s chest. “It’s textbook escapism, right down to feeling worse when it was over.”
Zach pulls me tighter. “He’s the one to blame here.”
I close my eyes and try to drink in this simple kindness, but it’s fleeting.
“What about that night do you need to escape?”
Galaxy sniffles the ground and nibbles a patch of dandelions.
“It’s the night Mom left us. She went to a party and never came back.”
“Shit. I’m sorry.” He releases a full sigh. “Maybe celebrate New Year’s with someone who actually cares about you. ”
“You got ideas?” It comes off snarky, and I know why—it’s my defenses rising up to protect me. Because I’m longing for something I can’t even put words to, something I’m terrified to ask for because of how much it’ll hurt to be refused.
You’re stronger than anyone I know, Fie.
Zach brushes the side of my face with the back of his fingers, sending a tremor down my spine. He kisses me softly.
“Yeah, I do,” he whispers in my ear.