Chapter 20
Chapter Twenty
I wake curled around Ava, her breaths slow and easy—the opposite of my pulse, which is tapping hard in my throat.
It’s 2:17 a.m. What woke me?
A dream? I’ve certainly had plenty of them lately.
I listen, straining to identify what my senses are telling me. A soft breeze shifts the branches outside her window.
Was that all I heard?
I caress down Ava’s arm and gently kiss her shoulder. I hate to leave her, but I can’t shake the sense that something’s wrong. Carefully, I slip from the covers, unweighting slowly from the bed so I don’t jostle her, and pad to the hallway.
Last night, I checked all the windows and doors before we went to bed, so unless someone’s an expert lock picker, the house is still secure. I pause to check in with each of my senses, but there’s nothing out of place. Continuing into the kitchen, I do a careful scan in the darkness, but the sliding glass door dowel is still in place, the locks are set on the windows, and everything is still.
When I pass through the dining room, memories of last night flood my mind. I let the deep sense of satisfaction settle through me. Fuck, I loved every second of being with her. From the laughter we shared to pampering her with my cooking to pushing her buttons right to the edge.
How am I ever going to get enough?
I peer out the shades, but her yard is cloaked in darkness, the leafy cottonwoods just visible in the muted lights coming from the street. After checking the locks on the windows, I move to the living room.
My cock stirs the instant I lay eyes on the couch.
Fuck.
I run a hand through my hair, but it only reminds me of the way Ava likes to tug on it.
At the window facing the street, I peek out the side of the blinds. Everything is still.
I’m about to turn away when a car engine purrs to life somewhere on the street. I strain to get a better view of where the car is located, but the angle is wrong. The engine’s hum fades, like the car is driving away. I wait, my heart thumping, but the night turns silent again.
If I was dressed, I could have stepped outside for a closer look.
It’s not like it’s completely out of the norm for someone to leave home at two in the morning. Maybe it was a neighbor leaving for work. Ava said an ER nurse lives down the street. Or someone driving to Boise for an early flight. Or it’s a dude leaving his mistress’s place before the hubs gets home.
I’m tempted to text Zach or Everett, but what the fuck would I say? Whatever woke me doesn’t seem to be a current threat, and they’d tell me the same thing. I’m not disrupting anyone’s sleep for that.
I’m overreacting.
I check the locks on the front door and the rest of the windows and give the side yard one last glimpse through the blinds, but nothing stands out .
Back in bed, Ava is sleeping on her stomach. Gently, I scoot closer and pull her to me. She stirs but doesn’t wake. I close my eyes and try to reclaim a sense of calm so I can fall back asleep, caressing her back and down the arm draped across my chest.
But I’m too worked up, both from my senses giving me false vibes and the memories of being with Ava.
When it’s time for me to return to duty, how am I going to say goodbye to her?
It’s not supposed to be so fucking complicated.
I want her in my life. Permanently. That should be the hard part.
Stroking each of her fingers, I release a full sigh.
How do I make us work?
Though sleep refuses to come, I savor the feel of Ava’s body warming mine and her soft, deep breaths. I take in the details of the room. The intricate iron headboard and the big, fluffy comforter with the soft, blue outlines of clouds. Her low dresser adorned with picture frames of her friends and family, and several of her on horseback. There’s one of us from high school graduation—she’s riding piggyback, her face bright with laughter, while I grin at the camera. And the group shot from Zach and Sofie’s wedding where Kirilee pinched Ava’s butt to make her laugh. I knew how I felt then, and it’s only gotten stronger since.
We belong together. Ava Greely is it for me. It’s been that way for longer than I had words for it. When I was too afraid of hurting her to do anything about it.
I’m still scared, because I don’t know how to be what she needs. I’m willing to try, but what if she doesn’t want to? She’s always had her plan, but for us to have a chance, she needs to toss that plan to the wind.
The sunrise wakes me just before five. Ava has rolled away from me, so I curl closer to her and wrap my arm around her body. The warmth from where our bodies touch pulses through me. Leaving this bed is going to be torture.
Her alarm chirps at five-fifteen. She groans in protest. Reaching out, she silences the alarm, then pulls me closer, wriggling to eliminate any space. My cock gives a little pulse against her thighs, making her grin.
I kiss her shoulder. “Morning.”
“Morning.” She sighs like she’s happy. “Does that rod of steel ever turn off?”
“It’s not recommended. Kinda hard to butter your biscuit without it.”
“You did just fine with your tongue last night.”
A delicious shiver rattles down my core. “Careful, Greely, or I might need to make you late for work.”
She rolls to face me, then caresses down my stomach, lighting up my skin, and grips me with her delicate fingers. “You first.”
I brush her lips with mine, savoring the softness of her mouth and her touch. She breaks from my kiss and shifts lower, kissing her way down my chest. She slips between my thighs and sucks just the tip of me into her heavenly, wet mouth.
“Baby,” I groan.
She takes me deeper, caressing with her fingers while her plush lips stretch around me.
“That’s so good,” I manage. I reach down to comb her hair from where it’s fallen around her face, letting it slip through my fingers.
She gives me a quick glance through her long lashes before lowering down again. I brace off my elbows, surrendering to this woman who seems to have made her mission to test my sanity. The pleasure sharpens, twists.
“C’mon, Greely, you can take more,” I grit out.
She comes off me, shaking her head. “No way.”
“Let’s see you try.” It comes out demanding, but by the way her nostrils flare—like she’s fighting what this little challenge does to her—I’m pretty sure it’s working for her too .
She closes her eyes and glides down.
“Relax your throat, sweetheart.”
She gives a little whimper, like she’s eager and maybe a little scared, so I caress her hair to the side and focus on her sweet mouth as she works me deeper. “That’s my good girl,” I praise. “Fuck, just like that.”
She gurgles a little but doesn’t stop.
“You okay?”
With a flick of her wicked little tongue, she lowers down again like the determined vixen she is.
The pleasure starts to burn hot at the base of my spine. I gently hold her hair and rock my hips to meet her, urging her faster. “You want me to come in this pretty mouth?”
She hums her reply, shredding the last of my control. With a groan, I let everything go. The shock wave of bliss hits me like a drug. I sink into the high and try to savor the feel of her warmth and focus and her eagerness to care for me like this.
When I come down, she’s perched next to me, drinking from the cup of water she placed next to her bed last night.
“That bad?” I ask, wincing.
Her sly smile makes her eyes sparkle in the low light. “No, my throat felt, um, a little raw.”
I wait for her to set the cup down then hook her around the waist and plant a soft kiss on her side. “My turn.”
Twenty minutes later, after Ava’s come twice for me and her body has stopped convulsing, I slip from the bed and pad into the kitchen. The espresso maker I bought her as an apartment-warming present years ago has dust on the top, but I get it fired up and have her vanilla latte ready by the time she steps out of the shower.
She gives me a look I can’t read—like she’s wary, or maybe it’s to hide her surprise. Haven’t any of her boyfriends brought her coffee in the morning? Why not?
“I don’t have time to help with farm chores this morning,” she says, biting her lip .
I kiss her on the temple. “I’ll give you a pass.”
“If you need to go, it’s okay.”
The mysterious disturbance that woke me last night percolates to the surface of my thoughts. “We can leave together. Breakfast?”
“I’ll get something later.”
I return to the kitchen and throw together some veggies, ranch dip, and crackers with a small container of hummus for a snack or maybe lunch later.
While I make her a breakfast sandwich, I slide my phone from my pocket and search my contacts for Luke’s number. There’s so much I want to say to him. Starting with an apology for losing touch. I feel like an ass reaching out to him with a demand, but since last night, I can’t shake the feeling that something bad is happening in Finn River, and we need help. He’s the smartest guy I know, and like a dog on a bone for a cause.
I type out a quick message, not bothering to beat around the bush—he’d see through it in a heartbeat if I tried.
I hear you might be working a case in my hometown. Call me?
When Ava comes out of her room dressed in pink slacks and a crisp white blouse, tucking earrings into her ears, I have the urge to pinch myself. She’s so fucking gorgeous. So confident and smart and warm and if that wasn’t enough, she’s sexy as hell. I want to rewind to last night and relive it all over again.
Her face brightens. “You made me food?”
“Can’t conquer the world on an empty stomach.” I cock an eyebrow.
She wraps her arms around my neck and smiles. “The power of two amazing orgasms is a good start though.”
I laugh. “More where that came from, Greely.”
Her eyes flutter closed as she presses her lips to mine in a slow, sensual kiss. I set the bag of her food down on the table and wrap my arms around her, holding her tight .
Because this is as real as it gets, and I want to soak it in. Every last bit.
We kiss slowly, her quick little tongue flicking with mine. I cup her ass and give a gentle squeeze. What I wouldn’t give to bend her over this table and…
With a sigh, she steps back and picks up the bag. “Thank you.”
I stifle my groan and grab my coat and follow her to the door. Outside, bright sunlight is filtering through the cottonwoods, a sign of how late we stayed in bed. It was definitely decadent. The kind of morning I’ll be dreaming about.
Because as many partners as I’ve had, not a lot of them reciprocate. I never ask them to, but it’s never seemed like a huge deal.
Ava definitely changed that today.
I give the driveway and yard a quick scan but I’m not surprised that everything looks the same as yesterday. Nothing out of place.
After walking Ava to her car, I open the door for her. She gives me a glance, the tiny flecks of gold in her eyes flashing in the sunshine, and I lower to give her a soft kiss. With a gentle caress of my face, she breaks away and settles behind the wheel.
I’m tempted to follow her all the way to work, but at the edge of her neighborhood, I watch her turn right, toward her office. Reluctantly, I turn left. As I swing around, I glance down the length of her quiet street, but nothing stands out.
Whatever woke me must have been a figment of a dream. Or maybe it’s my worry of the future. The version where Ava walks out of it for good.
When I arrive home, my good friend Kirilee’s black BMW and four other cars that I don’t recognize are lined up along the right side of the driveway. When I step down from the truck, several heads from the fields turn my way.
Then it hits me like a kick to the knees. Today is Kirilee’s senior painting class field trip. The one I forgot about. Not that Kirilee needs anything from me, but I feel bad I wasn’t here to welcome her and her students. Beth’s car is still here and so is Dylan’s, so the chores are likely under control. I change into boots in the mudroom and hurry out to the field.
Kirilee has long, strawberry-blonde hair that shines to white gold in the sunshine, which is almost as blinding as her smile when she sees me waiting for her at the edge of the rows of peonies and lupine. Her charges are spread out with their easels and little stools and wide-brimmed hats. After checking in with one of them, she hurries down the trough between rows, her giant belly adding an adorable waddle to her gait.
“Morning!” she says, grabbing me in a quick hug. “Thanks again for letting us crash your flower patch.”
“Anytime,” I say.
“How’s your mom?” She rubs her belly.
“Doing better, thanks.”
Her eyes warm. “I’m so glad to hear that.”
“She’s coming home today, actually.” In the farthest corner, near the chicken coop, sits Kirilee’s grandma Theodora, who helped Kirilee start her community art school and has been an avid supporter since, even recruiting her cronies for classes like this one.
“You sure you’re feeling up for this? Can I least get you a chair?”
She laughs. “If I sit down, I might not get up.”
I give her belly a wary glance. “When is this watermelon due?”
“Three weeks.”
I wince in sympathy. “If men were in charge of having babies, the human race would have gone extinct long ago.”
“Indeed.”
“You need anything, let me know?”
She bites her lip. “Actually, can I use your bathroom?”
“Of course.” I make the quick decision to go with her because there is no telling what state our bathrooms are in after my sibling tornadoes have used it.
“The other night at Hazel Creek sure felt like old times,” she says, flashing me a warm smile.
I nod at her belly. “By the next time I make it home again, our numbers will have doubled thanks to all of these babies.”
Her smile fades. “When are you leaving?”
“Not sure. Mom’s getting better, so…” I climb the porch ahead of her so I can open the door.
“Does Ava know?” Kirilee’s eyes turn troubled.
I give a shrug but my muscles feel stiff.
“We’re all going to miss you,” she says.
I nod at her bump. “You’re going to be too busy to miss me.”
She’s still looking at me with those puppy dog eyes, like my joke flew right past her. “Do you still write letters?”
I rub the back of my neck. “Not for a while.” I still have all of your letters. After that night in Wolf Creek, she stopped writing. I shouldn’t have let that stop me, but it was too hard.
Instead, I re-read hers. On every mission, I choose one to carry with me. Not for good luck, because that kind of thinking is dangerous, but because having a piece of her along for the ride makes it more meaningful.
“Maybe you could start again.”
“You’re right.”
Kirilee walks into the house, and I give the bathroom a quick check before she gets there. Thankfully, it’s presentable.
When I step out of her way, Kirilee gives me a parting glance. “That morning after the wedding, when you came to my cabin. Do you remember what you said?”
I run a hand through my hair. “Not really.”
She gives me a patient smile. “It was the same thing Ava said.”
“Yeah?”
She reaches out to cup my cheek. “You said ‘I think I’m in trouble.’”
I try to smile but it’s like my face is frozen. “Sounds about right.”
Her eyes fill with kindness. “What’s the trouble you’re so worried about?”
“Hurting her.”
“Is that all?”
I release a slow breath. “Losing her.” I lean back against the wall and cross my arms like it can keep me from unraveling. “Like…really losing her.”
“If we replace ‘trouble’ with ‘love’, does that ring true?”
I think I’m in love.
I pinch the bridge of my nose to keep the sting from spreading to my eyes. “I don’t know.”
She places her hand on my chest. “It’s okay to be afraid, Hutch.”
“I’m not afraid,” I reply, and step back.
With a kind smile, she slips into the bathroom.
I’m in my room changing for a run before I realize that’s the plan. Kirilee leaves the bathroom, and I wait like a coward for her to let herself out, then bound down the steps and take off down the driveway.
When I return, the painting party is gone, the silence reminding me of the ten thousand chores I need to accomplish today. After a quick shower, I check in with Mom, who is thankfully getting released this afternoon, then reheat some leftovers in the microwave. Using my phone’s email app, I clean out my inbox while I scarf them down.
The header written in all caps from the secure sender used for military correspondence sends a jolt down my spine. I force a slow breath to steady my nerves, then open the message.
It’s my orders. And an ultimatum. If I want to rejoin my team deploying to the UK, I have to return to Hulburt Field by Sunday, enough time for me to get fit tested and approved for duty so I can depart with my team.
I brace against the counter and close my eyes.
Fuck!
Even though I knew this moment would come, I’m not ready.
It’s too soon.
Too fast .
I shake my head like it can wipe away the dread creeping into my heart.
Haven’t I always felt this way about Ava? Never enough time.
I need to hold on to what we have. Before it’s gone.
With shaking fingers, I type out a reply, then close the app and head out to the fields.