Chapter 27
Chapter Twenty-Seven
VIVIAN
“What’s wrong?” Sepp asks the second I come through the door.
I’m tempted to open my mouth and let all my worries loose. But then I’ll have to say that awful word out loud. I’ll have to admit to my messed-up feelings for his brother. The ones that are slowly shredding my heart.
“I had kind of a rough night,” I say.
“Will this help?” He lifts a tall paper cup and gives me a kind smile. “I can go back for donut holes if you need those too.”
Hot tears prick my eyes. I turn away and hang up Everett’s wet coat. “You’re too good to me, Sepp.”
When I turn around, he’s standing there with his arms open.
I step into one of his soft hugs. The crisp cotton of his dress shirt is soft against my cheek, and his subtle citrus aftershave grounds me. I soak up the little dose of strength his embrace is bringing me.
“I’m okay,” I say to him, exhaling a deep breath.
“You need anything, I’m here.”
“Thanks. ”
By lunchtime, I’ve thrown myself into work so deeply that I’m startled by Doug’s hello to Lisa out in reception.
When Doug enters the clinic area, he gives me a warm smile. “Vivian, so great to see you again.”
“Hi,” I say, my forced enthusiasm making it sound like a chirp. I don’t know how I’m going to get through this when my mind is a thousand miles away and my lack of sleep is making me edgy.
Doug reaches over the counter to shake hands with Sepp. “Nice to see you, too, man,” he says.
“Thanks for bringing lunch,” Ava says, rushing from her office. “This is so nice!”
We follow Doug to our little break room, where he sets out special-order sandwiches from The Dame and Drake, Finn River’s best lunch café, a pretty fruit plate with strawberries and pineapple and melon wedges, and an assortment of gourmet kettle chips and drinks.
We spend several minutes adding food to our plates. Lisa joins us and soon we’re seated around the table together.
It’s lively with all of us here, but when everyone starts sharing what they did over the weekend, emotion clots in my throat.
“Matty and I went to the park,” I manage when it’s my turn.
Sepp sends me a concerned glance, but the conversation moves along. I poke at my food while Doug talks about the new medications Pfizer is developing. Dr. Greely has several Type I diabetic patients and Pfizer is promising a better delivery system than the current patch adhesive. It’s potentially life-altering for kids with the disease, and I’m grateful no input is required of me because just eating is taking all of my focus.
When we finally bring our working lunch to a close, I grab Everett’s coat and step outside for some fresh air. The drizzle has softened to a fine mist, with bright patches separating the thick clouds above, like the sun might melt them away. Wearing Everett’s coat, rich with his scent, reminds me how we parted this morning.
Does Everett know who wrote that awful word on my car ?
Does he know why ?
I slip my phone from my coat pocket. He said he wanted to know when I was feeling unsafe. Does this qualify?
Even though I know he’s working, I dial his number.
It goes straight to voicemail. It’s not a surprise, but my already heavy heart sinks another notch.
“It’s Vivian,” I say after the tone. “Just making sure you still have time to help me later. I should be there by four thirty.”
Sepp offered to bring Matty to Ruby Gulch for me, but I‘m going to need one of his hugs after this day.
I hang up and turn to go back inside, but when I come around the corner, Doug is standing by his Lexus, typing a message into his phone.
“There you are,” he says, slipping his phone into his pocket and flashing me a grin. “Thanks again for having me today.”
I shade my eyes from the sun and try to smile. “You’re welcome. Thanks for making it special.” The minute the words leave my lips, I want to take them back. I didn’t mean “special” in the way he’s clearly interpreting. I meant ordering my favorite sandwich from such a fancy spot.
Doug’s eyes have softened, and he gives me a slow up-down scan. “Anytime,” he says.
Before I say anything else I don’t mean, I hurry back into the clinic.
When I get to my trailer after dropping Mateo at Ruby Gulch and picking up snacks we can munch while we work, Everett’s not here, but Sepp and Hudson are waiting. I tell myself Everett is just busy. He’ll come. When I check my phone, I see he’s replied to the voicemail I left him at lunchtime with a text.
I’ll be there as soon as I can
I give it a thumbs up and step into the rain, pulling the hood of Everett’s jacket over my head.
Hudson and Sepp could almost be twins with their fit, lean frames, sandy blonde hair, and easy smiles. Sepp’s eyes are a warm hazel-green while Hudson’s are a striking blue.
“Put us to work, boss,” Hudson says, rubbing his hands together.
“Let’s start in the kitchen,” I say, and dig out my keys.
With the three of us working and Sepp’s disco dance tunes filling the airwaves, we make steady progress reclaiming my kitchen. I nibble on cheese and crackers and the cashews I brought while I work so I don’t lose momentum. The three of us take turns keeping the laundry going, and by nightfall, we have Mateo’s room back in order. I do my best to sanitize every surface, but it’s impossible to erase the lingering sense of intrusion. I’ll just have to hope it fades with time.
The guys maneuver my couch through the doorway, allowing me to vacuum the rest of the floor. Hudson comes back in with carpentry tools to tackle the rip in the flooring. I start on the walls while Sepp starts ferrying the trash bags we’ve filled to the dumpster. The main room is looking ten times better when Sepp returns from outside and catches Hudson’s eye.
“Be right back,” Sepp says before they disappear.
I return to my bare pantry and scribble down my list of things I need to replace. Rice and flour and sugar and cereal. Snacks for lunches. Matty’s favorite cookies.
A roll-down door slamming shut outside draws me to the window. In the middle of the pavement is a white delivery truck. It rumbles to life and cruises to the exit. I crane my neck to the right, where Hudson and Sepp are shuffling something big and brown up my front steps.
“What on earth have you done?” I ask as Hudson backs into my trailer, carrying the end of a loveseat.
“You needed a couch,” Sepp says from the other end of the loveseat, grinning at me .
“Guys,” I warn. It’s polka-dotted with raindrops but otherwise it looks brand-new.
“Sepp did it,” Hudson says, his lips twitching with a playful grin as he shuffles backwards into the living room.
“Not just me,” Sepp says. He and Hudson set the loveseat where my old couch had been. “Do you like it?”
“You did not need to do this!” I cross my arms.
“She’s mad,” Hudson says, sending Sepp a pointed look.
“Come on, give it a whirl,” Sepp says.
With a huff, I lower onto the couch. The cushions are dense and comfortable and it has that new smell. My last couch was a garage store find, and though it was practically new, it wasn’t as nice as this.
“It’s really comfy, guys.” I lock eyes with Sepp, then Hudson, and release a deep sigh. “Thank you.”
“I think she’s less mad now,” Hudson says under his breath.
“Mateo will love it.” I smile, picturing him curled up in the corner with his library books and a juice box while I steal a few minutes to knit.
A car door slams outside. I lean back and peer out the window just as Everett steps from my Kia. The blue letters that blared at me so boldly last night are gone.
I draw a shaky breath, but it only seems to sharpen the emotions rising up inside me.
His look from his driveway this morning has been playing in my mind all day. Then he shows up having fixed my car? What am I supposed to make of all this?
“We’ll load up your mattress in Hudson’s truck,” Sepp says, “then what?”
While I love having them here, they’ve stayed long enough. And I want to talk with Everett alone.
“You guys can take off,” I say.
Sepp cocks his head. “You sure?”
I force a smile. “Yeah. I’m about out of steam for tonight anyways. ”
“All right.” Sepp draws me close for a quick hug.
I peck his cheek. “Thank you again.”
Hudson is next, then they disappear into my bedroom.
Everett steps into the trailer. He’s dressed in jeans and a long sleeved t-shirt scrunched to his elbows, his hair still wet from a shower. He looks left, where Sepp and Hudson are arguing over how to get my ruined mattress out of the room, then he turns, his serious eyes finding mine.
“Hi.” He walks toward me, his wet sneakers squeaking on the parquet floor. “Looks good in here,” he says, taking in the clean kitchen. When he spots the couch, he smiles. “Like it?”
I put my hands on my hips. “You bought it?”
“It was sort of a group project,” he says with the hint of a smile.
My battle-worn heartstrings twang inside my chest. “Everett,” I sigh.
Crashing and cursing erupts from my bedroom, and Everett trots back to help get the mattress moved.
I collapse onto the couch. Outside, the guys grunt and shuffle, and then car doors slam and Hudson’s truck engine turns over.
When Everett comes back inside, he closes the door behind him.
“I’m sorry I’m late,” he says, his eyes pained. “It’s been… kind of a big day.”
I pull my knees up to my chin. “Where’s Logan?”
“At a friend’s house.”
“Are you going to tell me what’s going on?”
He gives the empty end of the couch a glance. “Okay if I join you?”
When I nod, he settles into the corner opposite me.
“The person who spray painted your car and I have a history,” he says.
I hug my shins. “Shawna.”
“Yeah. It wasn’t serious, and it didn’t last long. She manipulated me, lied to me.” He releases a heavy sigh. “I broke things off over a year ago, but things got ugly. Her coming after you like that is my fault. I’m sorry.”
“Did she break in here?” I ask.
He gives a slow sigh. “She denies it, but until we can work out a few kinks in her story, we can’t rule it out.”
A chill walks down my back “Where is she now?”
“At the station.”
That she would do something like this is crazy. “How can she function with such a distorted mind? Like what was her end game? To drive me away? Does she think you’re going to want her back after something like this?”
“I don’t know, and I honestly don’t care. As long as she leaves us both alone from now on.” His face twists into a grimace. “I shouldn’t have acted the way I did this morning, Vivian. I thought, maybe, things weren’t as they seemed. That you’d been lying to me.”
That’s why he came at me like that? I blink at the rain-streaked window as the hurt pulls my rib cage tight around my heart. To think I’ve been lowering my walls and letting him inside brick by brick, and now he’s leaving me out in the cold? “That’s not fair.”
His eyes turned pained, and he swallows hard. “You’re right. I’ve been asking you to trust me, when I’ve done nothing to earn it.” He moves closer to me. “I’ve been afraid of my feelings, Vivian. Afraid to trust myself.”
“Just because of Shawna?”
He glides the edge of his thumbnail down the top of his thigh “Teresa too. And…my parents.”
I frown. “Your birth parents?”
His earnest gaze is like a cobra strike to my heart. “Let me hold you. Please?”
He takes both my hands from where they’re wrapped around my shins and draws me toward him. I climb onto his lap. The contact of our bodies sends a pulse of warmth through me. But it’s more than something physical. Being connected to him right now is softening the edges of us. It’s also giving me room to breathe .
“They used to fight about us..” Everett tucks a wisp of hair behind my ear. “One day, they just left.”
“Oh, Everett, that’s awful.” I caress over his shoulders.
“Even though I know there’s nothing I can do to bring them back, I think trying to rescue women like Shawna has been my way of trying.”
“But instead, you just get hurt even more.”
“I thought I was doing the right thing by being more careful this time.” He presses the heels of his hands into his eyes. “But that’s obviously backfired too.”
“It’s okay to be careful.”
“Not when it hurts you.” He shakes his head. “I’m ready to trust what I’m feeling inside.” He takes my hand and cradles it against his heart, his big, soft heart, the steady rhythm tapping my fingertips. “In here.”