Thirty-One
Trina
“I’ll clean up,”
I told Cole when dinner and dessert were winding down. The girls were getting restless, and I was still reeling from the regret of what I’d done to our child.
I needed space, my own room to get my head back on straight before I lost it in front of June and Ella. Great first impression for them to take back to their mom.
I took Cole’s plate from him. “Go have time with the girls.”
His brows furrowed, creating a deep line in between his brows. “What’s going on?”
“Nothing.”
I plastered on a fake smile he could probably read from a mountaintop away.
Scurrying around him, I began rinsing off plates and loading them in the dishwasher. Cole might have known I was faking my smile, but he certainly wasn’t going to talk about it then, because he told his girls, “All right you two. Take your plates to Miss Trina, and then we’ll get you ready for baths.”
“Ugh,”
June groaned. “I hate baths.”
“Can I pick the books, Daddy?”
Ella asked.
Cole ruffled the top of her head. “Only two tonight though, but yes, you can choose.”
“She always gets to choose,”
June pouted.
I turned away to hide my smile from them. June was a handful, and she loved things her way, but her scrunched-up pouty face was too cute for words. Probably why she got her way a lot, too.
“Go on,”
Cole said. “We’ll discuss books and baths for the week. Maybe write out a calendar of nights you girls get to choose to make it fair. How’s that sound?”
“I like calendars,”
Ella declared, and that didn’t surprise me either.
I’d been around these girls for a day and their differing personalities were clear as glass.
Their socked feet thundered down the hallway, and after a door clicked closed, Cole was there, behind my back, arms out to my side on the counter.
He caged me in at the sink, and I couldn’t move. The warmth from his body held me captive, and I glanced at his hands. There was strength in them, but they were tender too. They were the hands of a man who worked hard, but I could see those same hands cradling the girls when they were small, tucking their little bottoms close to his chest when they cried.
I really needed to get out of there.
“Want to tell me what’s going on?”
“Nothing.”
I shook my head and grabbed a plate on the counter. His closeness prevented me from moving much, and the rinsing was awkward, but if avoidance was all I had, avoidance was what I’d do.
“Is it Wolf? Is that why you went silent at dinner and turned into a robot?”
“No.”
For once, my fear of him had been overridden by something else. Someone else, really. “I just wanted to help.”
“Trina.”
“What?”
I reached for a bowl that held cheese.
Cole slapped the water off on his faucet and turned me to face him. I hugged the bowl to my chest, putting the space between us.
“What’s gotten into you?”
His brows were furrowed, his tone bordering on annoyed. “If you’re scared of?—”
“I’m not. Or, well, I am, but really, Cole. I’ve been around the girls all day. I thought it’d be good to give you time alone with them.”
He reached out, his thumb brushing along my chin, and he tilted my face up so I was forced to look him in the eyes. “You’re lying, but I’ll let you, because I know you’ll tell me when you’re ready. But think about this while you’re worrying about everything going on in your head that you’ve probably twisted up over the years.”
“I don’t?—”
“You do.”
He quieted me with his words, and his thumb switched to his whole palm cupping my cheek. My lips parted in surprise at the way he touched me.
So tender and gentle. So loving.
“Tonight, I sat across the table from you, a woman I’ve always loved, with the girls who have the rest of my entire heart, and I loved every single minute of it. I know you feel guilty for what you’ve done, and I was angry at you for a long time, but I have June and Ella, and I wouldn’t trade them for the world. In a way, you gave me that gift, too. So thank you.”
“Cole…”
I trailed off, because not only could I think of anything wise to say, or an apology that made it all right, but also because he was leaning closer, closing his eyes.
And then his lips were gently brushing over my forehead, freezing me to the floor beneath my feet. He kissed me, with a softness and care I hadn’t experienced possibly since I walked away from him. A warm shiver cascaded down my spine, making my body tremble, and then his lips were gone, his fingers brushing my cheek.
“Think about that tonight, too, while you’re worrying, okay?”
Like I had a chance of thinking of anything but that, now.
“Are you okay?”
Valerie whispered through the phone. “Cole called Kip earlier. Kip’s freaking out with Jonathan there.”
At least I didn’t have to tell her about the morning. As soon as I heard her voice, the strength I’d tried to hold on to all day started to crumble.
“I don’t know how I feel about this. He’s here, Val.”
“I’m sorry we didn’t know. Kip didn’t even know he was out of town, but we’re not all that surprised.”
“What? Why? I mean, outside his anger, anyway.”
There was a pause and then, “We’re working on some things here. I don’t want to get your hopes up, and I’m not going to tell you what’s going on, but there are plans in the works to get Jonathan fired.”
“Val, you can’t tell me that and not tell me what’s going on.”
“I can’t, honey. But I swear it’s for your benefit and protection. Trust me.”
I shook my head, even though she couldn’t see it. Knowing helped me know how to prepare.
“Just, listen,”
she said, and her voice was barely above a whisper which only scared me more. “There’s been information given to Kip, from reliable sources, and things have been snowballing this week. I don’t even know if he told Cole earlier but trust me. What we’re working on has the potential to send Jonathan away for a very long time.”
My head was spinning. “Val…”
“Honestly, if I could tell you more now, I would. But trust me that I’m truly thinking of you right now, and I’ve never steered you wrong before. You’ll learn everything when you can but until then, we can’t risk Jonathan finding out. It just might take some more time, but if he’s suspicious of anything, it doesn’t surprise me he’s there to get you. Stay strong though, and trust Cole and Kip and I.”
That I could do. I was at least learning how to trust Cole. “Promise you’ll tell me when you can.”
“Absolutely, honey. I swear it.”
It went against every instinct I had to let it go, but Valerie had been the only person I could trust for years.
“Okay, I’ll try.”
“Good. Now, Kip talked to some of the men who handle his private security. He’s used them before… remember when we had that stalker?”
“You had the stalker,”
I grumbled, because it was the truth. Some man started sending her pictures, inappropriate ones where you couldn’t see his face, just his unclothed hip area wearing nothing but his birthday suit.
“Regardless, Kip wants to send Jim and some of his men up there to keep an eye on you. They can do things that a man of the law can’t. If you get what I’m saying.”
“You’re not exactly speaking in code.”
I picked at the duvet covering my lap, and Valerie chuckled. “I’m scared. The bruises everyone can see are finally gone, but I’m broken inside, Val, and I can’t… I had dinner tonight with Cole and his girls, and all I kept thinking about was that he should have another.”
“Don’t,”
Valerie said. She snapped the word quietly but firmly. “Don’t go down that road. He’s over it, Trina. He’s over it, and the only way you’ll truly be able to move on is to forgive yourself. You were young, and you had plans. You made choices, and there’s nothing you can do now. You can’t right the wrong, but you can start living with some happiness.”
Man, she was really getting good at this advice stuff.
“It feels so overwhelming to try.”
My parents. Ashley and Robbie. The girls. Even Cole and his parents. Maybe it’d all been too much too soon. Maybe I was rushing things, because now everything seemed to be running full speed ahead and I was on the train platform, racing to catch up.
“That man would jump in front of a bullet for you, Trina. All you have to do is reach out and take hold of him.”
“That’s only one of the things that scares me.”
“Then buckle up and tell him to throw on a vest. With Jonathan in town, who knows what’s about to happen.”
What a lovely thought.
“Maybe he’ll slip on snow and fall down the mountain and get buried in an avalanche.”
Valerie laughed. “A girl can only dream.”
Tell me about it.
A knock on my door tugged me out of the final dredges of sleep. It hadn’t come easily last night, and I spent most of the night tossing and turning. Twice I jerked awake, fear rattling my chest and the need to slink through the house to make sure Cole and his girls were okay.
I didn’t, but I’d wanted to, so while it had to be early since there was only darkness peeking through the blinds, I’d been half-awake for quite a while.
Relief slipped over me as Cole opened the door. I scooted up on the bed, bringing the duvet and blankets with me.
“Hey,”
I muttered, wiping sleep away from my eyes and my face. “What’s up?”
“You have something to tell me?”
He leaned against the doorframe, arms crossed over his chest. Dressed in green-and-navy flannel plaid pajama pants and a navy long-sleeve T-shirt, he was casual, not angry. Relaxed, but definitely curious.
Handsome as always.
“What?”
“You forget to tell me something last night when you were hiding away in here?”
“I wasn’t hiding.”
His brows arched, and a smirk curled his lips, barely visible beneath his unshaven scruff.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“There’s a man at my front door. Three of them, actually. Say they’re here for you.”
“What?”
I blinked. Men? Oh… “I called Val last night. She said Kip wanted to send men up here.”
“Yeah. Got that.”
He jerked his chin toward the playroom and stairs. “Would have been nice to know that though so I could prepare the girls.”
Damn. “I’m sorry. I wasn’t thinking that when she said he was thinking of sending some men that he was going to overnight them.”
Of course Val would. They were probably on the way before we talked.
Cole chuckled and stepped back. “Get dressed and don’t take too long. They want to meet you, so you know who they are. They said they’ll be mostly invisible, but close to you at all times.”
“Great.”
Cole turned to leave, but I called his name, and he stopped. “I’m sorry. About not warning you.”
“I’m not mad, Trina. Just wished you’d trust me enough to let me in a little bit is all.”
He left, leaving a lead weight sinking into my gut.
He was right.
I hadn’t given him much of anything, but how did I tell the man who’d always meant everything to me how dirty and worthless I’d become?
I didn’t waste time pondering it. There was no point. He knew enough, and he didn’t look at me with the same look of disgust I gave myself. Cole was better than me. Always had been.
Quickly scrambling out of bed, I hurried to the closet and pulled on a pair of fleece-lined leggings and a red sweatshirt with batwing sleeves, all clothes Valerie had sent with Cole when they brought me here. They weren’t our normal designer brands and styles, much more casual, and as I tugged the sweatshirt over my head, realization struck.
Cole had been at the hospital hours after I’d gotten there. I know I saw him. I remembered that in the haze of drugs and pain. And a day later, I’d woken up here, with nothing but a suitcase of clothes, packed by Valerie, and every single one of the things she sent with him were casual. Warm and wintery. They were cozy and stylish, but they weren’t flashy, and they weren’t name brands that were so common in our circles in Georgia.
I trailed my hand over the closet full of sweatshirts and sweaters and Levi jeans and fleece-lined leggings, warm wool socks.
She planned this. How long was the question, but there was no way she was able to gather this amount of clothes in the time she had, all of them washed without tags, all of them sent for warm, winter living. And somehow, when disaster struck, not only was she there, Cole dropped everything to be there for me in the middle of the night.
And he’d been there every day since.
“Shoot,”
I whispered, as I realized how long Valerie had been waiting for this moment for me. How she planned everything. How she worked to get me somewhere safe. Somewhere where someone could help keep me safe.
How long had she planned to send me home?
Tears sprung and I quickly fought them back while I washed my face, brushed my teeth, and ran a brush through my hair so I looked halfway decent for whoever was waiting for me upstairs. Not only the men, but I couldn’t scare Cole’s girls this early in the morning, either.
I’d call Valerie later and get some answers, but man…I was really lucky to have such great friends looking out for me when I’d been incapable of doing it myself.
Deep, rumbling, and gravelly voices filtered from downstairs, so I headed up, figuring if there were men who showed up to help me, Cole had undoubtedly invited them in for coffee or something.
It was just the kind of guy he was.
Good. Honorable.
He was the kind of man I could trust with everything, and he wouldn’t use it against me, he wouldn’t berate me for it.
He’d love me through it.