Chapter 23
Chapter Twenty-Three
Nash
I ’m not in love with Bailey King. In fact, I’m not even certain I understand what the word means.
As a child, I never received it—not from my mom or dad. My brothers and I had each other, but if I truly loved them, I wouldn’t have left and stayed away for so long. Even if I told myself I left because I loved them.
I could have come to them for advice—a way to stop Bismarck King from ruining our lives. Monty was always a problem solver. He would have figured it out if only I’d confided in my brother. Yet the way things turned out for him and Monroe, I can’t see myself regretting any of it.
Until the other morning, when I looked Bailey in the eyes and saw the remnants of the irreparable damage I caused her. There’s no way I could love someone whom I’ve caused nothing but harm to. Yet here I am, sitting on the living room couch, one too small for my large frame, for hours now, waiting for her to come home. My thoughts are flooded with her.
I’ve never allowed a woman to consume my mind the way Bailey has cemented herself in my every thought. Mainly because I can count the women I’ve been with in the last decade on one hand. None of them meant anything more than needing to fulfill an urge or to kill time. Most of them ran with the Disciples, chicks passed around amongst the crew with the hopes of one day being claimed by any of them as something more. It took the fun out of it when they swore they loved you with just a look in their direction.
I wasn’t one for casual sex. Though it never dawned on me why that could be. Yet since the day I came back to town and saw Bailey for the first time again, my need for someone, for her, became almost unrecognizable. All I think about is her—wanting to fuck her. To taste her again, to feel her come while my cock is inside her, filling her to the brim. To watch with such adoration how she comes apart for me.
Making Bailey orgasm has become my new addiction, and like any addict, I need another hit. Though, I know it won’t be easy. Not after how she reacted the last time I did.
With a twist of the knob and a jingle of her keys, Bailey enters the apartment, her silhouette illuminated by the dull gleam of the light outside the doorway. She doesn’t immediately see me, but I know the moment she catches sight of me, she won’t be happy. Most likely because I’m sitting like some fucking creep in the dark waiting for her to come home.
With no awareness of her surroundings, something I’ll have to yell at her for at another time, she flicks on a light switch to her right, oblivious to my presence. Once her gaze lands on me, she lets out a deafening shriek.
“What the hell, Nash?” she shouts, her hand flying up to her chest to calm her thrashing heartbeat.
I offer her my sweetest smile. “Welcome home, honey. I was waiting for you.”
As she steps further into the room, my eyes focus on tracking her movements and make sense of what state she’s in. She doesn’t seem outright offended by my comment, but she isn’t amused either. Instead, she quietly moves, hanging her bag on the hook by the door and flopping down on the couch beside me. Kicking off her shoes, she rests her legs on the coffee table before us.
“Long night?” I ask, trying to cut the uncomfortable silence.
She huffs out a long sigh as she throws her head back. “You could say that. After a week locked inside doing absolutely nothing, I’m exhausted from just walking downstairs.”
“Weren’t you at the cafe all day?”
Her quizzical gaze darts to me, and I curse under my breath for giving away that I know everything about what she’s done and where she’s been all week. Nor do I admit it was her best friend who reluctantly kept me informed.
The room grows cold, and there’s a quiet tension that spreads as neither one of us knows what our next move should be.
I’ve never felt this way, out of my element, unable to think about what my next move will be. Every time I feel I’ve found the right approach, I second guess myself. I’m not used to this, having always been straightforward about the things I wanted, about the moves I made, but with Bailey, I have no clue what I’m doing. Things between us have never felt so awkward, yet this silence is what’s familiar.
The irony is not lost on me. I’m the one internally blushing because there’s a pretty girl next to me, paying me no attention whatsoever.
Bailey’s unlike anyone I’ve ever met. Her ability to relate to people, even those she doesn’t know, is unmatched. It may be because her genuine kindness and infectious laughter make her one of the most beloved people in town, despite the trouble she’s brought in for herself in recent years. She’s humble yet proud of her accomplishment and has a way of drawing people in and making them fall in love.
There’s that damn word again. Love.
I’m walking through uncharted territory here. Swimming through perilous waters with no life vest, all to end up back in her good graces.
She lets out a pained groan, stretching her leg, while her foot arches back as she moves it around in circles. Fuck, I forgot about her injury and how much pain she must be in after being on her feet all day.
Without second guessing myself, I reach for her, grabbing her by the ankle and flipping her so she's facing me, her legs draped over my lap. I move quickly and she doesn't have time to react until my thumb and middle finger are kneading her skin.
“Nash,” she protests, but just as quickly, she lets out a moan of pleasure as I massage the tight knot around her talus. I have to roll her jeans up slightly, but she doesn't complain. “God, that feels good.” The sound that leaves her lips, accompanied by the words that slip from her sweet mouth as I innocently touch her, make my dick hard as a fucking rock. “Nash, please, you shouldn’t.”
“Shh, just relax, B. I promised I’d take care of you, be there when you needed me as you healed. And instead I spent the week avoiding…” I don’t finish my thought, and I think she’s too far gone indulging in the pleasure to even notice.
“That’s our thing. Breaking false promises.” I don’t immediately grasp what she means, but I’m afraid if I ask, she’ll pull away from this moment of calm between us.
There’s no sign of the spitfire attitude she always has when I’m near. There’s no reluctance to be close to me. I don’t want to ruin this by saying or asking something stupid.
I give her foot a quick tug when I feel her tense up a bit. “You need to relax, B. Didn’t the doc give you some cream to rub on it for the pain?”
She nods. “It’s in my room,” she says, about to stand, but I hold her in place.
“Stay.” It’s just one word, not a question or a suggestion, but a command for her to stay put while I grab the cream from her bedroom.
There’s a noticeable heat that grows in the depths of her eyes, but I ignore it, needing to focus on the task at hand. Making sure she’s not in pain.
Once in her room, I move toward her nightstand, about to open the drawer, when I hear her shout out.
“It’s in the top drawer of my…” Her words die on her lips but I know what she meant.
Turning back toward her dresser, I reach for the top drawer, one I know more about than she imagines, and open it, finding the tube of cream lying on a pile of sexy thongs in every shade of the fucking rainbow.
Though that’s not what catches my eye. There’s a hot pink vibrator tucked in the corner, wrapped in a miniscule black thong. Reaching for it on instinct, I tuck it into my back pocket before heading back out to the living room.
I find her staring down at the phone in her hand, a soft pink tint kissing her cheeks. She knows what I saw. Now I found her toy, one she’s probably used on more than one occasion.
“You have quite a nice collection of headbands,” I mock, teasing her for her choice of impractical underwear.
With a flirtatious gleam in her eye, she smirks back at me, raising one eyebrow in a gesture that is both playful and suggestive. “Are you shaming me for wearing sexy lingerie?”
“Never, Angel. I’d prefer you with nothing on, but I’m all for you doing what you want to feel sexy.” Her jaw drops, the shock of what I said leaving her at a loss for words. Bailey’s so fucking beautiful. I want to reach out, tuck her pretty curls behind her ear, and kiss her senseless. I would if I didn’t think I’d end up with my ass on the floor and her knee between my legs.
“Charming,” she scoffs in annoyance, but I catch the hint of a smile creeping back along her lips before she looks away from me.
I settle back down on the couch beside her, and this time she’s the one who tosses her legs over my lap. Squirting a coin size amount into my palm, I rub over the same parts I was massaging, applying a slight bit more pressure to the swelling that appears over the top of her foot.
Worry traces my features as I dwell on how well she treated her injury. “Did you keep it elevated?”
“You mean did I follow the doctor's orders? Yes, Nash, I did. I was a good little girl, stayed put and didn’t do a damn thing. Not that you’d know.” There’s an extra sharp bite in her tone and it’s fucking adorable.
I wish I could have been by her side to support her, but I didn’t think she’d want me to. Not after the way things ended. “I’m sorry I wasn’t here to help, B.”
“That’s not what I meant. You have no reason to be.”
My fingers move up her leg, carefully kneading over her torn jeans to not alarm her with my touch. But I can’t help putting my hands on her. I ache to touch every part of her, to be touched by her gentle fingers.
“You’re wrong,” I mutter, my voice thick with emotion. “I did. I told the doctor you’d be safe under my care and I failed that. I stayed away because...”
“What Nash? Why did you avoid me all week?”
The wall that was once crumbling from the tenderness of my touch is back. Strengthened by her fear and sense of shame. I fucking hate that she’s embarrassed to express how she feels in front of me.
“I was giving you space. Thought that the last thing you wanted after the other morning was to be around me.”
A bright flush of pink coats her cheeks and I ache to soothe her, to trace her skin with my fingers and feel the warmth under my touch. Though, the last thing I should do is mention what happened, but I have to know what’s running through her mind. “Why did you ask me to leave?”
There’s a subtle change in her demeanor. It’s barely noticeable, but I’m too focused on her to miss it. “Nash, don’t. There’s no need whatsoever to talk about the other morning.”
Now I’m the one who’s annoyed with the turn of events. I need her to know it wasn’t a lie. “Bullshit, Bailey. I made you feel good. Was damn near ready to fuck you and you freaked out, kicked me out and have also avoided me since.”
“It was a mistake that shouldn’t have occurred.”
She’s lying. I know she is because she won’t look me in the eye as she speaks. “Don’t lie to me, B. You wanted it just as badly as I did. You still do. It wasn’t a fucking game.” Bailey lets out a loud and enthusiastic laugh that pisses me off. “Don’t laugh.”
Fierce eyes gleam as they put mine in a trance. As she leans closer, her brows furrow in concentration, her legs remaining in my lap while my hand rests on her thigh, a place it has no right to be, yet it refuses to leave.
“Then what should I do, Nash? Tell me? What the fuck should I do? Cause there’s no manual which tells you what to do when the guy you thought you loved, the one who walked out of your life and stayed gone for ten years after you gave him your virginity, comes back. What's the protocol?”
“I didn’t mean to…”
“To upset me? Ha.” She lets out a sharp, humorless chuckle. “Yeah, well, I’m starting to realize you don’t mean a lot of the shit you do or say.”
My fingers dig deeper into her thigh, and it suddenly makes her aware of my touch, though she doesn't pull away. It would make me smile if I weren’t so fucking angry at her right now. “I meant every word I said to you that night, Bailey. All of it meant something to me. As did the other morning. I never do what I don’t want to.”
“Then why did you leave?” The tremor in her voice strikes me with a wave of regret straight in the chest as her defenses come barreling down. There’s a hint of pain in her tone, but most importantly, it’s the tears welling in her eyes that weaken my resolve.
I take a deep breath in, trying to come up with the right words to say, but nothing will fix what I’ve done. Won’t change the fact I broke her heart when I left because the truth will only bring her more pain.
“It doesn’t matter.”
“Bullshit,” she spits back at me. “You can’t say that you wanted it, wanted me. Then refuse to tell me why you walked away from it all.”
My voice is barely above a whisper. “I can’t.”
Her gaze softens for a moment, but the pain doesn’t fade away. “You can’t tell me or you won’t.”
She doesn't need an explanation. What she needs from me is honesty and understanding. An apology, a promise to do better, but that’s not something I can give her without facing the consequences of my actions. To accept I’m the one to blame for all of it, not the men who forced my hand. I was the one who so easily fell for the lies they told me, allowed his threats to shape the rest of my life and who I became.
Together we could have faced the hurricane that threatened to fall upon us, but left her to find her own shelter to weather the storm.
I reach out, hoping she won’t push me away, but she pulls back, fear flashing in her eyes. Lowering my hand, I shake my head in defeat. “It will do no good to know the truth, Bailey. Just drop it.”
“It was Jase, wasn’t it?” Her question leaves me bemused, but I know any answer I give her will give away the truth. “My brother. He knows what happened between us. I suspected it was true, but the other day he proved me right. You both did.”
“What are you talking about?”
Despite the initial agony in her gaze, she inhales a sharp breath and continues. “I heard you. When Jase warned you to stay away from me, after he was the one who suggested we live together. You told him you’d keep your hands to yourself because I was a mistake.”
A heaviness falls over me and weighs me down as I hear her repeat the words I said, but didn’t mean. I won’t deny it because she wouldn’t believe me if I did. Bailey heard what I confessed to her brother. I’d lied and told him being with her was a mistake. The words slipped out in a moment of panic as I tried to cover up what I really felt, but I immediately regretted it. All I was trying to do was prevent Jase from suspecting I wanted his sister more than I allowed myself to believe.
I wish I could take it back though I won’t. Because despite it being the truth, I could never give her any of what those words could one day mean.
How would I be able to mend the ache they’d leave when I couldn’t follow through with my promises? How would I hide the depth of what I’d felt for her that night without giving her hope?
Perhaps in time, I could. Though I have little time left in Crossroads.
Bailey takes my silence as enough confirmation. “It’s fine, because the other morning was also a mistake. I used you to get off, nothing more than that.”
The lie slips so easily from her lips it’s almost comical. “Oh, really?” I ask, not for one second believing her.
I can tell by the way she refuses to meet my gaze that she’s trying to convince herself it’s the truth. Hell, she might believe it, but I don’t. I saw it in the way she watched me—she wanted me. Needed me to desire her the way she did me. I did, I craved everything with her, and was willing to risk it all for a chance at making her mine.
With a simple shrug of her shoulders, she agrees. “Yes.”
Mischief bubbles inside me, and I want to push her. I want to see how far she’s willing to take her little white lie. “So what? Does that mean I get to use you now?”
She scoffs. “You already did, ten years ago, remember?”
My fierce little fighter just won’t let it go. I need to remind her I’m no longer the same stupid boy who hurt her. I’m a grown man, ready to show her the many filthy ways I can make it up to her.
“What if I want to do it again?”
Beautiful blue eyes find mine, a glimmer of mischief brimming to the surface. She wants it too, wants me to use her for my pleasure, to give it to her in return the way no one else has before. Her tongue snakes out to lick her bottom lip before she takes it in between her teeth.
“Then do it. I owe you for making me come twice in the shower, but mark my words, Nash. It won’t mean a damn thing.”
“We’ll see.” I let out a deep growl as I slide in closer to her. Cupping the back of her head with my right hand, I pull her in, inhaling the sweet scent of liquor on her lips. I swipe my tongue to taste it on her and the soft little moan she lets out makes my cock swell and throb in my pants. Her knees are pressed against her chest, her feet flat on my thighs, but her eyes, her eyes are on me.
They’re low and hazy, brimming with curiosity and desire as she watches me, waiting for me to kiss her. But first I need to make sure she’s sure about what I’m about to do to her. I saw her drinking, but I know she’s not drunk. She wants this, whatever the fuck it is, and I want it more than anything.
“Then get on your knees, Angel. You feel the need to repay me for making you come with my fingers, with my tongue.”
“Yes,” she says, breathless and wanting.
My desire for her burns so fiercely in my chest, I clench my jaw tight to restrain myself from taking her right here on her couch. “Then do it. Drop to your fucking knees, Angel.”
My pretty girl doesn’t hesitate nor wastes time before she’s down on the ground, before me. I suck in a breath, unable to fathom the incredible sight of her on her knees at my mercy.
Reaching for her, I run my fingers through her hair, the silky strands of gold soft against my calloused palms. Running my thumb over her bottom lip as my hand grips her chin, I force her to look up at me and she leans into my palm.
“Make me come with your mouth, baby. Let me fuck these thick, plump lips and come down your pretty little throat.”
“Nash,” she cries out, and it’s fucking music to my ears.
Bailey’s so fucking turned on it only drives the need in me further to the edge. I’m about to come in my fucking jeans at just the sight of her on her knees.
What the fuck am I going to do when she actually touches me?
I stand, and my pretty girl licks her lips as she reaches for the button of my jeans. “Take your shirt off, Nash. I want to see you, all of you.” Shaky fingers fumble with the button as I do as I’m told, and reach behind my neck, grabbing my shirt by the collar and tugging it off. Tossing it on the ground, I reach out for her again, bending forward so my face is leveled with her.
“Then I need you to do the same, baby. I want to see your perfect tits as I fuck your mouth. I want to come on them after I come in your mouth.” Bailey lets go of me just enough to slip her shirt over her head, leaving her in nothing but a lacy pink bra. “Fuck, B. I want you so fucking bad, baby.”
The soft blush that creeps up her neck and kisses her cheeks is so fucking adorable. Here she is, this fierce and bold woman, on her knees, about to take my cock like a champ, yet she blushes at a simple compliment telling her how much I want her.
“You sure you want this, Angel?” I ask, my fingers digging into her chin and forcing her to look at me. Her eyes grow wide with arousal, her mouth fucking salivating as she takes in my bare torso and the ink I know she fucking loves to look at.
“I want it, Nash,” she answers, eagerly tugging at my waist until she pops the button open and slides the zipper down.
“Good, because I’ve been dreaming about it for ten fucking years. What it would feel like to have this pretty little mouth on my cock—to watch these perfect lips wrap around my length as you suck me deep into your throat.” There’s no playfulness in my tone, nothing but a bold and intense need for her mouth.
I slip her bra straps down her shoulders, releasing those gorgeous breasts I love, before straightening back up. Running a thumb over her bottom lip, I whisper.
“Look how beautiful you look, Angel. On your knees for me, lips parted and so ready for my cock to slide in.” I shove two fingers into her parted mouth. “Suck.”
My baby does as she’s told, her blonde hair cascading over her bare tits in the most perfect way. My erection grows as she tugs my jeans down to my ankles, taking my boxers down with them.
She gasps as my cock springs out, damn near touching my belly button from how hard I am. “Oh, God. How's that going to fit in my mouth? How’s it going to fit in my…” She stops realizing what she’s said and her face goes bright red now that she’s been caught. So her mouth isn’t the only place my girl is fantasizing about having my dick.
“One thing at a time, B. We’ll worry about the rest later, but right now,” I say, running my fingers through her hair and leading her toward my throbbing cock. Precum coats the head, and before I can give any orders, Bailey takes things into her own hands. Literally. Her hand comes around the shaft, fingers barely touching as she wraps them around, eagerly leaning forward to lick the tip. “Fuuck,” I growl, the sound coming from deep within me as her warm tongue continues to lick a path from root to tip, spending a little longer circling the tip.
“Mmm,” she hums, working her hand at a steady pace, a desperate need brewing inside as she stares up at me. She wants to be praised, to be told she’s doing a damn good job with her hands and mouth.
“Just like that, Angel.” The endearment pushes her further, eager to please me, as her full lips wrap around the head, taking me in.
“Nash, fuck, you’re so big. You taste so good.” She releases me just enough to get a few words out before her mouth is back on me, her palm flat against my thighs as she takes me all the way back, her head bobbing back and forth at a steady pace.
“Jesus, fuck woman. You’re going to make me come so fast if you keep looking at me like that.” Plump lips currently wrapped around my shaft turn up slightly as she gives me the most sinister smile.
My fingers tangle in her golden hair when I pull it back, needing to see her tits while I fuck her mouth. They’re swelling, hard pink peaks achingly hard as her hips move, begging for some friction. My jaw tightens and I throw my head back, letting out a sharp groan so fucking aroused by the way my cock feels as it hits the back of her throat.
Bailey’s hand fists my cock, stroking me as she sucks. I’m damn near ready to blow my load, my abdomen painfully contracting when she quickens her pace. We’re both breathing heavily, sweat dripping from my face down my chest, and tears pooling in her eyes as she takes me deeper.
Seeing her like this, dark makeup smeared over her eyes, hair a fucking beautiful, tangled mess, as my cock fills her pretty little mouth—I could confuse this right here for love because fuck, I love the way Bailey King sucks my cock.
“I’m so close, baby. I need to come inside your hot, wet mouth.”
“Nash, please,” she begs.
My smile deepens, pleasure building inside me ready to explode. “You want me to show mercy to you, Angel? I’m going to need you to beg for it.”
“Please, Nash. Fuck my mouth. I want you to come inside of me. I want to see the crazed look in your eyes as you watch me swallow every last drop of hot cum. I want to feel it sliding down my throat.”
I’m fucking done for. This right here, her dirty talk, her need for me—I won’t be able to survive it. “Yes, mam.” with another teasing smirk, she reaches to cup my balls, her mouth never once stopping as she sucks me back, nearly gagging from how fucking big I am inside her. “Just like that, baby.”
Bailey’s so fucking eager. I never imagined a blow job could feel this good, but she’s ruined me for anyone else. No other mouth would feel this warm. No other lips would feel like they belong wrapped around my cock. This right here feels like home and it scares the shit out of me to even imagine staying in this exact spot for good.
“Are you going to let me come in your sweet little mouth, Angel?” She nods, eager as ever, a bright twinkle in her eye as she stares up at me in awe. “Promise me, B. Promise I can fuck your pretty mouth until I have my fill. But I’ll warn you, don’t you dare fall in love.”
For a moment, I nearly regret what I’ve said, because there’s a small, almost unnoticeable change in her demeanor. Her eyes close, and I think I’ve ruined the moment but when they open, dark long lashes fluttering as she stares up at me, there’s a burning desire that lights my entire body ablaze.
I tighten my hold on her hair and fuck her face, finding the perfect rhythm. Her fingernails dig into my legs as she takes me all in like a good little girl. I watch as she sucks until I can no longer see straight, my orgasm screaming for me to release it.
I want to so fucking badly, but I also never want to leave my place in her mouth, fearing she’ll regret it the moment I do. My thrusts are frantic as my hips jerk forward.
“Bailey, fuck,” is the last thing I hear before everything in me becomes hers. My chest heaves as I fold over, my cum shooting into her sweet mouth and as promised, she swallows every last drop. My body convulsing, every muscle in me contracting, as my entire being, including my soul, leaves me.
Bailey releases me with a loud pop and does the sexiest thing I think I’ve ever witnessed. With cum dripping from her lips and down her chin, she slides her tongue out to catch it, licking her mouth clean. Lowering down, so my face is at level with hers, I wipe a stray tear that falls upon her cheek.
There’s an intimate moment between us as we gaze into each other’s eyes. The rest of the world drowned out, and she is all I see.
Though, it doesn’t last long. In the next minute, she’s sitting back with her ass on her feet, refusing to look me in the eye.
What the fuck? Where did this go wrong?
“This can’t happen again.”
I laugh, full-blown, hysterical laughter at how fucking hot and cold she is. Her back and forth is going to give me whiplash if she keeps this shit up. “Baby, I think you said that last time.”
Her brows furrow as she pouts. “This time I mean it.”
Her frustration grows with each burst of laughter from me, and I can’t help but find her reaction amusing. “We’ll see,” I say, stepping out of my shoes and jeans.
I’m standing completely naked in front of her and the way her eyes drink me in, there’s no way she means a word of what she’s said.
“What? Are you challenging me to keep my hands and mouth to myself?” There's a fight in her eyes, a curious blaze that wants me to challenge her.
I nod, daring her to take the bait. “I think you’ll break before I do.”
Straightening to her feet, she pushes into me, her tits still out and I want nothing more than to take them in my mouth and show her exactly how much I want to repay her for what she did, but she pulls away when I try.
“Oh, no you don’t. There’s no more touching for you. You got what you wanted now we’re even.”
“We are nowhere near even, B. I’m just getting started.”
She extends her hand out to me, and I take it, if only to touch a small part of her. “You are so on, buddy. May the best woman win.”
And just like that, Bailey Fucking King walks away from. Though I can’t let her go without getting the last word in. “Better keep your nails short, B. You’re going to be needing them,” I shout as she slams the door. Reaching for my discarded jeans, I take out the hot pink vibrator and smiles, before hiding it in my fist.
In three, two, one. The door opens, Bailey standing under the doorway with a hand resting on her jutted out hip. “Nash Bishop, did you steal my vibrator?”
My smile is so wide it almost hurts, but the scowl on her face is so worth the wrath that’s sure to ensue. “Good luck, babe. May the best man win.”
That does her in and she slams the door shut with a loud, aggravated huff.
Flopping down on the couch with my bare ass, I throw my head back, running my hands over my beard in exasperation. Monty once told me I had to figure out whether I wanted to stay in Crossroads before it was too late. Before Bailey ultimately walks away from me.
Right now—and not only because the woman just had my cock in her mouth and gave me the best blow job of my life—there’s nowhere I’d rather be. It scares the living shit out of me to admit it, but it’s the truth. Whatever comes next, I’m ready to face it so long as I get to do it with Bailey by my side.
We both know this is only the beginning—the impending promise of pain, pleasure, and the unknown lurking in the corner. I’m willing to take the risk so long as she takes it with me.